Potash & Perlmutter Part 66

"Furthermore, Mawruss," Abe went on, "Rashkin comes in to see Feder the other day and tells Feder he would be glad to make a quick turn. And he tells Feder that house stands him in eight thousand dollars cash and he would be glad to sell it for forty-four five, all cash above the new first mortgage of thirty-three thousand."

Morris nodded.

"But, Abe," he croaked, "how could he do that? Reckoning all the mortgages and everything, and what I invested and paid out for building material over and above the building loan, that house stands me in just eleven thousand two hundred and fifty dollars cash. If I would come out even on that house I got to sell it for forty-five seven-fifty, and I reckoned on forty-seven thousand as a fair price for the house."

"Sure, you did," Abe said cheerfully.

"And how that feller, Rashkin, could claim that his house stands him in eight thousand dollars cash is more as I could understand, Abe," Morris said. "Because while I know it I spent for commissions and for Ferdy Rothschild a couple thousand more as Rashkin, Abe, our building material cost the same, Abe."

"Sure it did--on the bills, Mawruss," Abe replied; "but Gussarow says that of course he don't know nothing about the other material men, but when he sends the bill to you he also sends the same bill to Rashkin, and when you send him a check for your bill, Ferdy Rothschild gets five per cent. Also Rashkin sends Gussarow a check for his bill with five per cent. discount, and Ferdy Rothschild _schmiers_ Rashkin a twenty-dollar note, and that's the way it goes."

Morris sat down in the nearest chair and blinked helplessly at Abe.

"What do you think for a couple of crooks like that, Abe?" he croaked.

"What do I think, Mawruss?" Abe repeated. "I think that one of 'em is a brother-in-law, Mawruss, and the other is a real estater, Mawruss, and that's a bad combination."

"But I could make 'em arrested, Abe?" Morris declared, "and, by jimminy, I will do it, too."

Abe shrugged.

"You couldn't do that, Mawruss," he said, "because in the first place, Mawruss, your Minnie wouldn't stand for it; and in the second place, them two fellers would fix up a fine story between 'em and the judge would let 'em go. And then, Mawruss, they would turn around and go to work and sue you for false arresting; and the first thing you know, Mawruss, it would stand you in a couple of thousand dollars more."

Morris nodded sadly.

"I believe you're right, Abe," he murmured.

"Sure, I'm right, Mawruss," Abe said; "and also, Mawruss, while I wouldn't want to say nothing to make you feel worse already, I got to say, Mawruss, that if you would believe I was right six months ago yet, you wouldn't got to believe I was right now."

Morris nodded again. He was thoroughly crushed, and he looked so appealingly at his partner that Abe was unable to withhold his comfort and advice.

"Lookyhere, Mawruss," he said, "a feller's got to make a mistake sometimes. Ain't it? And if he didn't get stuck for a couple of thousand dollars oncet in a while he wouldn't know the value of his money. Ain't it? But as this thing stands now, Mawruss, I got an idee you ain't stuck so bad as what you think."

"No?" Morris said. "Why ain't I, Abe?"

"Well, Mawruss, I'll tell you," Abe began, with no clear conception of how he would finish. "You know me, Mawruss; I ain't a feller what's got a whole lot to say for myself, but I ain't got such bad judgment, neither, Mawruss."

"I seen fellers with worser judgment as you, Abe," Morris said.

Abe could not forbear a stare of astonishment at this grudging admission.

"At last you got to admit it, Mawruss," he cried; "but anyhow, Mawruss, go ahead and finish up this here permanent-mortgage-loan business, and then, Mawruss, I will do all I can to help you out."

Morris rose to his feet.

"Well, Abe," he began in shaking tones, "I must got to say that I----"

"Lookyhere, Mawruss," Abe broke in savagely, "ain't we fooled away enough time here this morning? Just because you got your troubles with this here building, Mawruss, ain't no reason why we shouldn't attend to business, Mawruss."

He handed Morris a black cigar, and as they started for the cutting-room they gave vent to their pent-up emotions in great clouds of comforting smoke.

The next fortnight was fraught with so many disagreeable experiences for Morris that he appeared to age visibly, and once more Abe was moved to express his sympathy.

"You shouldn't take on so, Mawruss," he said, the morning after the permanent loan was closed. "The first thing you know, Mawruss, you will be getting a nervous break-up, already."

"I bet yer I would get a nervous break-up, Abe," Morris agreed. "If you would be me, Abe, you would get a nervous break-up, too. In the first place, Abe, I got to pay them suckers--them archy-tecks, Pinsky & Gubin, a hundred dollars before they would give it me their final certificate, and then, Abe, I got to _schmier_ it a feller in the tenement-house department another hundred dollars. And then, Abe, I told it them other two crooks what I thought of 'em, Abe, and you ought to hear the way that horse-thief talks back to me, already."

"Horse-thief!" Abe said. "Which one, Mawruss?"

"That Ferdy Rothschild, Abe," Morris continued. "So sure as I stand here, Abe, if that feller wouldn't be my wife's brother, I would make for him a couple blue eyes he wouldn't forgot so quick."

"With a feller like that, Mawruss," Abe said, "you shouldn't bother yourself at all. If you make a lowlife b.u.m a couple blue eyes, he will make you also a couple blue eyes, maybe, and that's all there is to it, Mawruss. But when you make it a crook like Ferdy Rothschild a couple blue eyes, then that's something else again. Such a _schwindler_ like him, Mawruss, would turn right around and sue you in the courts yet for damages, and the first thing you know you are stuck for a couple thousand dollars."

"Well, I am through with him, anyhow," Morris replied, "so we wouldn't talk no more about him. A dirty dawg like him, Abe, ain't worth a--a----" He was searching his mind for a sufficiently trivial standard of comparison when Abe interrupted him.

"I thought you wasn't going to talk about him, Mawruss," he said; "and, anyhow, Mawruss, what's the use talking about things what is past already? What we got to do now, Mawruss, is to sell that house."

"I know it, Abe," Morris replied ruefully, "but how are we going to sell that house with B. Rashkin going around offering to sell the identical same house for forty-four five? If I would be lucky enough to get forty-five seven-fifty for mine, Abe, I would still be out several hundred dollars."

"You talk foolish, Mawruss; you would get forty-seven thousand, sure, for that house."

"Would I?" Morris cried. "How would I do that?"

"Leave that to me," Abe replied.

He put on his hat and coat.

"Where are you going, Abe?" Morris asked.

Abe waggled his head solemnly.

"You shouldn't ask me, Mawruss," he said. "I got an idee."

It was a quarter to twelve when Abe left the loft building on Nineteenth Street, and he repaired immediately to the real-estate salesroom on Vesey Street, where auction sales of real estate are held at noon daily.

To this center of real-estate activity comes every real-estate broker of the East Side, together with his brothers from Harlem and the Bronx, and Abe felt reasonably sure that B. Rashkin would be on hand.

Indeed, he had hardly entered the salesroom when he descried B. Rashkin standing on the outskirts of a little throng that surrounded the rostrum of a popular auctioneer.

"Now, gentlemen," said the auctioneer, "what am I offered for this six-story, four-family house. Remember, gentlemen, it is practically new and stands on a lot forty by a hundred."

"Forty thousand," said a voice at Abe's elbow.

"Come, gentlemen," the auctioneer cried, "we ain't making you a present of this house, exactly. Do I hear forty-one? Thank you, sir. At forty-one--at forty-one--at----"

Abe sidled up to B. Rashkin and in firm tones he made the next bid.

"Forty-one five," he said.