Regina, or the Sins of the Fathers - BestLightNovel.com
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Herr Merckel, senior, when he retired to rest, felt that his day had not been wasted.
His son had abandoned his dangerous project; the fate of the last of the Schrandens had been sealed; and in the cash-box, beyond the usual takings, was a surplus of eight thalers and twenty-five silver groschens.
"Thus I have killed three birds with one stone!" he mused, with a self-satisfied grin, and, folding his hands, fell into a gentle slumber.
CHAPTER X
Winter had come. It had been preceded by a season of decay, inexpressibly cheerless and trying to the spirits. Boleslav, who had grown up in closest communion with Nature and her moods, could never have believed it possible that autumn's symbolic melancholy would affect him so profoundly and send such deathlike s.h.i.+vers through his limbs. The mere calculation of time dismayed and oppressed him.
His evenings began to be dismally long. Solitude swooped over his head like a vulture in ever-narrowing circles, till he began to fancy he felt the chill flap of its wings across his face.
It was strange that he who all his life had been much alone from choice, should now, when almost every human being was his deadly foe, crave for the society of his fellow-creatures.
He buried himself deeper and deeper in the ma.s.s of papers and ma.n.u.scripts, a dreary enough occupation, without much object unless it were to help the hours to drag a little less slowly. He tried to convince himself that the portion of the past he unearthed from these dust-heaps might be of service to him in the future. But in reality he had found what was absolutely necessary to his purpose without much trouble, and the rest might as well have perished in the flames.
Regina remained tongue-tied, and performed her household duties swiftly and noiselessly. She moved about his room without lifting her eyes to his face, and if he addressed a word to her, shrank away with a startled look. But her answers to his questions, though given in a hesitating and embarra.s.sed manner, were always clear, comprehensive, and to the point. Sometimes days together went by without their exchanging a syllable. Yet it was on these days he observed her in secret all the more closely, watching her as she laid the table, following her with his eyes as she crossed the little plot of garden and disappeared into the bushes. He caught himself constantly wondering what was pa.s.sing in her mind. What did she think about all day long?
Was it possible that her whole existence revolved round him and his personal comforts, a man who was nothing to her, who had not even rewarded her labours so far, with a bra.s.s farthing?
He felt ashamed when he thought of the innumerable self-sacrifices he accepted from her with such haughty indifference, and determined to be more friendly and conversational towards her in the future, so that she might feel the unpleasantness of her position less acutely. But a certain unaccountable shyness on his side seemed to hinder his putting these good intentions into practice. He no longer hated her. His aversion had yielded to something like regard at sight of so much unselfish loyalty and untiring industry; and the result was that he felt more than ever a constraint in conversing with her. Something came between them, a kind of mysterious veil that enveloped her and rendered her unapproachable as a stranger. It seemed almost as if the spirit of his father hovered about her, preventing by its ghostly presence any intercourse between them. Sometimes he wondered if it were her shame that invested her with that strange fascination that vice is said to exercise on inexperienced youth. Or was it the magnitude of her misfortunes that gave her an unconscious power and charm?
Often when she brought in his supper, or turned back the counterpane from his bed, he would look up from his work and endeavour to open a conversation. But his tongue would cleave to the roof of his mouth, he could never think of anything to talk to her about that was not beneath his dignity. So, after all, only curt and harsh commands crossed his lips.
He had remarked for a long time how much more careful she had become about her personal appearance, which had wonderfully improved. She no longer went about ragged, unkempt, and _decolletee_, but wore her jacket b.u.t.toned up modestly to her throat, with the ends neatly tucked under her waistband. A woollen scarf was knotted round her neck by way of giving a finish to her costume, and her skirt carefully brushed and mended. Her hair did not hang about her as formerly, in untidy plaits and a hundred rough, loose curls, but was combed and neatly dressed. Of a morning the top of her head sometimes presented a smooth, polished surface, the effects of the shower-bath, by means of which she brought her unruly mane into subjection.
The weather grew bitterly cold, but she still s.h.i.+vered in her cotton gown, only throwing on the red cross-over when she went into the open air.
One evening as she was preparing for her regular weekly expedition for the purchase of provisions, and had come to him for orders, he said--
"Why have you brought no winter clothes back with you yet, Regina?"
She looked on the ground and replied--
"I should like to--only--"
"Only?"
"I wasn't sure whether I might."
"Of course you may. You mustn't freeze."
"There's a----" she began eagerly, then stopped and blushed.
"Well?"
"There's a jacket at the shop--a blue cloth one trimmed with beautiful fur. The shopman says----"
He smiled. "Thank G.o.d," he thought "she is beginning to be human at last. A love of finery has awakened in her."
"What does the shopman say?" he asked.
"That it would fit me exactly. And I need something warm and comfortable for the long walks. But it's a real lady's jacket, and----"
"All the more reason why you should have it," he interrupted, laughing.
"Don't come back without the jacket, now mind. Good-night, and a pleasant journey."
With a joyous exclamation she stooped to kiss his hand, but he evaded the caress.
When her footsteps had died away in the darkness, he took the lamp and went into the greenhouse, which was her private apartment.
The fire still smouldered on the hearth, but the room was icily cold and comfortless. A stray flake or two whirled through the holes in the roof, for outside a gentle dusting of snow had begun to fall.
"Why doesn't she doctor the laths?" he thought, and resolved that the next morning he would come and lay boards over the weak places. He climbed on one of the boxes and tested with a tap the gla.s.s roofing.
Then he understood why Regina preferred to sleep half in the open air.
The leaden framework of the panes had become rotten and brittle. At his mere touch the whole decrepit roof rattled and trembled in all its joints. Any attempt to mend it would bring it down altogether.
"It's a positive sin to allow her to be housed like this," he said to himself.
He went back to his room and drew from under his sheets as many of his feather mattresses as he could do without, and carried them, with one of his pillows, to her wretched resting-place. He carefully made up a bed, and then threw her horse-cloth over it, so that not a sc.r.a.p of the bedding was visible.
"That will make her open her eyes," he thought, "when, worn out, she comes to throw herself on her pallet." And well satisfied with his evening's work, he returned to his papers.
The next morning, when he awoke, his walls shone with the dazzling reflection of the snow. In the night the world had arrayed itself in the garb of winter.
He dressed, and called Regina. There was no answer. She had not come back.
He waited two hours, and then went to prepare his own breakfast. Three snow-heaps had collected underneath the holes in the gla.s.s roof, and a fourth was acc.u.mulating on the hearth. A greenish twilight filled the room. He took the shovel and broom, and half mechanically swept the white mounds out at the door; then he fetched a sheet of strong cardboard that had served as a cover to the stacks of doc.u.ments, cut it into strips, which he cautiously pushed through the holes so that they roofed in the bad places from the snow.
"That's the best I can do," he said, as he s.h.i.+vered about the room, which he had now made nearly as dark as night. Then, sighing heavily, he went to the hearth, and lit the fire.
The day crept on, and still Regina did not return. In all probability the snowstorm would detain her at Bockeldorf till the next morning. He felt moped to distraction as he sat over his work. Now and then, to vary the dull monotony, he took a walk to the Cats' Bridge, over which she was bound to come. After he had bolted his cold dinner he did nothing but watch the clock, whose hands seemed hardly to move.
He missed Regina at every turn; for though she kept out of his way when at home, he knew he had only to whistle to bring her instantly to his elbow.
He put his papers aside, and to change the current of his thoughts began to draw. On the back of a coachbuilder's bill of fifty years ago he painted a long garden border of stiff rows of stately lilies and red roses. First he made a line of lilies, then one of roses, then lilies again, and so on until the whole resembled some gorgeous carpet. Then he threw himself on the creaking sofa, and dreamed of the Madonna who presided over that wall of flowers, and shed the blessed light of her countenance on all who had the courage to penetrate it.
Already it was dusk. There was a sound of footsteps on the cobble-stones before the door. He sprang to his feet and hurried out.
Regina came timidly over the threshold. She was laden with bundles and parcels, and covered from head to foot with snow; even the little curls on her forehead were powdered white. Her face glowed, but there was an expression of fear in her brilliant eyes as she lifted them to his.
"I ran, _Herr_, as fast as I could," she panted, laying her right hand on her heart. "The shopman wouldn't let me start till daylight, because he thought--the jacket might----"
She broke off, looking guilty.