The Dodge Club Part 50

"Washy, washy," he repeated, mechanically, as his mind was utterly vague and distrait.

"_Ua.s.si-Uua.s.si_?" repeated the other, interrogatively.

"Me--"

"_Tu_" said she, with tender emphasis.

"Wee mounseer," said he, with utter desperation.

The Signora shook her head. "_Non capisco. Ma quelle, balordaggini ed intormentimente, che sono si non segni manifesti d'amore_?"

"I don't understand, marm, a single word of that."

The Signora smiled. The Senator took courage again.

"The fact is this, marm," said he, firmly; "I want to get my clothes washed somewhere. Of course you don't do it, but you can tell me, you know. Hm?"

"_Non capisco_."

"Madame," said he, feeling confident that she would understand that word at least, and thinking, too, that it might perhaps serve as a key to explain any other words which he might append to it. "My clothes--I want to get them washed--laundress--washy--soap and water--clean 'em all up--iron 'em--hang 'em out to dry. Ha?"

While saying this he indulged in an expressive pantomine. When alluding to his clothes he placed his hands against his chest, when mentioning the drying of them he waved them in the air. The landlady comprehended this. How not? When a gentleman places his hand on his heart, what is his meaning?

"_O sottigliezza d'amore_!" murmured she. "_Che cosa cerca_," she continued, looking up timidly but invitingly.

The Senator felt doubtful at this, and in fact a little frightened.

Again he placed his hands on his chest to indicate his clothes; he struck that manly chest forcibly several times, looking at her all the time. Then he wrung his hands.

[Ill.u.s.tration: The Senator In A Worse Fix.]

"_Ah, Signore_," said La Rocca, with a melting glance, "_non e d'uopo di desperazione_."

"Washy, washy--"

"_Eppure, se Ella vuol sposarmi, non ce difficolta_," returned the other, with true Italian frankness.

"Soap and water--"

"_Non ho il coraggio di dir di no_."

The Senator had his arms outstretched to indicate the hanging-out process. Still, however, feeling doubtful if he were altogether understood, he thought he would try another form of pantomime.

Suddenly he fell down on his knees, and began to imitate the action of a washer-woman over her tub, was.h.i.+ng, wringing, pounding, rubbing.

"_O gran' cielo_!" cried the Signora, her pitying heart filled with tenderness at the sight of this n.o.ble being on his knees before her, and, as she thought, wringing his hands in despair. "_O gran' cielo!

Egli e innamorato di me non puo dirmelo_."

Her warm heart prompted her, and she obeyed its impulse. What else could she do? She flung herself into his outstretched arms, as he raised himself to hang out imaginary clothes on an invisible line.

The Senator was thunderstruck, confounded, bewildered, shattered, overcome, crushed, stupefied, blasted, overwhelmed, horror-stricken, wonder-smitten, annihilated, amazed, horrified, shocked, frightened, terrified, nonplused, wilted, awe-struck, s.h.i.+vered, astounded, dumbfounded. He did not even struggle. He was paralyzed.

"_Ah, carissimo_," said a soft and tender voice in his ear, a low, sweet voice, "_se veramenta me me ami, saro lo tua carissima sposa_--"

At that moment the door opened and b.u.t.tons walked in. In an instant he darted out. The Signora hurried away.

"_Addio, bellisima, carissima gioja_!" she sighed.

The Senator was still paralyzed,

After a time he went with a pale and anxious face to see b.u.t.tons. The young man promised secrecy, and when the Senator was telling his story tried hard to look serious and sympathetic. In vain. The thought of that scene, and the cause of it, and the blunder that had been made overwhelmed him. Laughter convulsed him. At last the Senator got up indignantly and left the room.

But what was he to do now? The thing could not be explained. How could he get out of the house? He would have to pa.s.s her as she sat at the door.

He had to call on b.u.t.tons again and implore his a.s.sistance. The difficulty was so repugnant, and the matter so very delicate, that b.u.t.tons declared he could not take the responsibility of settling it.

It would have to be brought before the Club.

The Club had a meeting about it, and many plans were proposed. The stricken Senator had one plan, and that prevailed. It was to leave Rome on the following day. For his part he had made up his mind to leave the house at once. He would slip out as though he intended to return, and the others could settle his bill and bring with them the clothes that had caused all this trouble. He would meet them in the morning outside the gate of the city.

This resolution was adopted by all, and the Senator, leaving money to settle for himself, went away. He pa.s.sed hurriedly out of the door. He dared not look. He heard a soft voice p.r.o.nounce the word "_Gioja_!" He fled.

Now that one who owned the soft voice afterward changed her feelings so much toward her "gioja" that opposite his name in her house-book she wrote the following epithets: _Birbone, Villano, Zolicacco, Burberone, Gaglioffo, Meschino, Briconaccio, Anemalaccio_.

CHAPTER x.x.xVII.

_ROME_.--_ANCIENT HISTORY_.--THE PREHISTORIC ERA.--CRITICAL EXAMINATION OF NIEBUHR AND HIS SCHOOL.--THE EARLY HISTORY OF ROME PLACED ON A RIGHT BASIS.--EXPLANATION OF HISTORY OF REPUBLIC.

--NAPOLEON'S "CAESAR."--THE IMPERIAL REGIME.--THE NORTHERN BARBARIANS.--RISE OF THE PAPACY.--MEDIAEVAL ROME.

_TOPOGRAPHY_.--TRUE ADJUSTMENT OF BOUNDS OF ANCIENT CITY.--ITS PROBABLE POPULATION.--_GEOLOGY_.--EXAMINATION OF FORMATION.--TUFA TRAVERTINE.--ROMAN CEMENT.--TERRA-COTTA. _SPECIAL CONSIDERATION OF ROMAN CATACOMBS_.--BOSIO.--ARRINGHI.--CARDINAL WISEMAN.--RECENT EXPLORATIONS, INVESTIGATIONS, EXAMINATIONS, EXHUMATIONS, AND RESUSCITATIONS.--EARLY CHRISTIAN HISTORY SET ON A TRUE BASIS.

--RELICS.--MARTYRS.--REAL ORIGIN OF CATACOMBS.--TRUE AND RELIABLE EXTENT (WITH MAPS).

_REMARKS ON ART_.--THE RENAISSANCE.--THE EARLY PAINTERS: CIMABUE, GIOTTO, PERUGINO, RAFAELLE SANZIO, MICHELANGELO BUONAROTTI.--THE TRANSFIGURATION.--THE MOSES OF MICHELANGELO.--BELLINI.--SAINT PETER'S, AND MORE PARTICULARLY THE COLONNADE.--THE LAST JUDGMENT.

--DANTE.--THE MEDIAEVAL SPIRIT.--EFFECT OF GOTHIC ART ON ITALY AND ITALIAN TASTE.--COMPARISON, OF LOMBARD WITH SICILIAN CHURCHES.--TO WHAT EXTENT ROME INFLUENCED THIS DEVELOPMENT.--THE FOSTERING SPIRIT OF THE CHURCH.--ALL MODERN ART CHRISTIAN.--WHY THIS WAS A NECESSITY.

--FOLLIES OF MODERN CRITICS.--REYNOLDS AND RUSKIN.--HOW FAR POPULAR TASTE IS WORTH ANY THING.--CONCLUDING REMARKS OF A MISCELLANEOUS DESCRIPTION.

[There! as a bill of fare I flatter myself that the above ought to take the eye. It was my intention, on the departure of the Club from Rome, to write a chapter of a thoroughly exhaustive character, as will be seen by the table of contents above; but afterward, finding that the chapter had already reached the dimensions of a good-sized book before a quarter of it was written, I thought that if it were inserted in this work it would be considered by some as too long; in fact, if it were admitted nothing more would ever be heard of the Dodge Club; which would be a great pity, as the best of their adventures did not take place until after this period; and as this is the real character of the present work, I have finally decided to enlarge the chapter into a book, which I will publish after I have given to the world my "History of the Micmacs,"

"Treatise on the Greek Particles," "Course of Twelve Lectures on Modern History," new edition of the "Agamemnonian Triology" of Aeschylus, with new readings, "Harmony of Greek Accent and Prosody,"

"Exercises in Sanscrit for Beginners, on the Ollendorf System,"

"The Odyssey of Homer translated into the Dublin Irish dialect,"

"Dissertation on the Symbolical Nature of the Mosaic Economy,"

"Elements of Logic," "Examination into the Law of Neutrals,"

"Life of General George Was.h.i.+ngton," "History of Patent Medicines,"

"Transactions of the 'Saco a.s.sociation for the advancement of Human Learning, particularly Natural Science' (consisting of one article written by myself on 'The Toads of Maine')," and "Report of the 'Kennebunkport, Maine, United Congregational Ladies'

Benevolent City Missionary and Mariners' Friend Society," which will all be out some of these days, I don't know exactly when; but after they come out this chapter will appear in book form. And if any of my readers prefer to wait till they read that chapter before reading any further, all I can say is, perhaps they'd better not, as after all it has no necessary connection with the fortunes of the Dodge Club.]