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How much pains have those evils cost us which never happened!
Take things always by their smooth handle.
When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.
Hear as little as possible spoken against others; and believe nothing of the kind, until you are absolutely forced to believe it.
Always believe that if you heard what may be said on the other side of the question, a very different account of the matter might be given.
Do to others what you would have them do to you.
LESSON x.x.xVII.
_How to be Happy._--CHILD AT HOME.
1. Every child must have observed how much happier and more beloved some children are than others. There are some children whom you always love to be with. They are happy themselves, and they make you happy.
2. There are others, whose society you always avoid. The very expression of their countenances produces unpleasant feelings. They seem to have no friends.
3. No person can be happy without friends. The heart is formed for love, and cannot be happy without the opportunity of giving and receiving affection.
4. But you cannot receive affection, unless you will also give it. You cannot find others to love you, unless you will also love them. Love is only to be obtained by giving love in return. Hence the importance of cultivating a cheerful and obliging disposition. You cannot be happy without it.
5. I have sometimes heard a girl say, "I know that I am very unpopular at school." Now, this is a plain confession that she is very disobliging and unamiable in her disposition.
6. If your companions do not love you, it is your own fault. They cannot help loving you, if you will be kind and friendly. If you are not loved, it is a good evidence that you do not deserve to be loved. It is true, that a sense of duty may, at times, render it necessary for you to do that which will be displeasing to your companions.
7. But, if it is seen that you have a n.o.ble spirit, that you are above selfishness, that you are willing to make sacrifices of your own personal convenience to promote the happiness of your a.s.sociates, you will never be in want of friends.
8. You must not regard it as your _misfortune_ that others do not love you, but your _fault_. It is not beauty, it is not wealth, that will give you friends. Your heart must glow with kindness, if you would attract to yourself the esteem and affection of those by whom you are surrounded.
9. You are little aware how much the happiness of your whole life depends upon the cultivation of an affectionate and obliging disposition. If you will adopt the resolution that you will confer favors whenever you have an opportunity, you will certainly be surrounded by ardent friends.
10. Begin upon this principle in childhood, and act upon it through life, and you will make yourself happy, and promote the happiness of all within your influence.
11. You go to school on a cold winter morning. A bright fire is blazing upon the hearth, surrounded with boys struggling to get near it to warm themselves. After you get slightly warmed, another school-mate comes in, suffering with cold. "Here, James," you pleasantly call out to him, "I am almost warm; you may have my place."
12. As you slip aside to allow him to take your place at the fire, will he not feel that you are kind? The worst dispositioned boy in the world cannot help admiring such generosity.
13. And even though he be so ungrateful as to be unwilling to return the favor, you may depend upon it that he will be your friend as far as he is capable of friends.h.i.+p. If you will habitually act upon this principle, you will never want friends.
14. Suppose, some day, you were out with your companions, playing ball.
After you had been playing for some time, another boy comes along. He cannot be chosen upon either side, for there is no one to match him.
"Henry," you say, "you may take my place a little while, and I will rest."
15. You throw yourself down upon the gra.s.s, while Henry, fresh and vigorous, takes your bat and engages in the game. He knows that you gave up to accommodate him; and how can he help liking you for it?
16. The fact is, that neither man nor child can cultivate such a spirit of generosity and kindness, without attracting affection and esteem.
17. Look and see which of your companions have the most friends, and you will find that they are those who have this n.o.ble spirit,--who are willing to deny themselves, that they may make their a.s.sociates happy.
18. This is not peculiar to childhood. It is the same in all periods of life. There is but one way to make friends; and that is, by being friendly to others.
19. Perhaps some child, who reads this, feels conscious of being disliked, and yet desires to have the affection of his companions. You ask me what you shall do. I will tell you.
20. I will give you an infallible rule. Do all in your power to make others happy. Be willing to make sacrifices of your own convenience, that you may promote the happiness of others.
21. This is the way to make friends, and the only way. When you are playing with your brothers and sisters at home, be always ready to give them more than their share of privileges.
22. Manifest an obliging disposition, and they cannot but regard you with affection. In all your intercourse with others, at home or abroad, let these feelings influence you, and you will receive a rich reward.
LESSON x.x.xVIII.
_Obedience and Disobedience._--CHILD'S COMPANION.
1. You have never disobeyed your parents, or your teachers, or any who have been placed in authority over you, without being uncomfortable and unhappy! Obedience, in a child, is one of the most necessary qualities; for it protects him from all the evils of his want of experience, and gives him the benefit of the experience of others.
2. One fine summer's day, I went to spend an afternoon at a house in the country, where some young people were enjoying a holiday.
3. They were running cheerfully up and down a meadow, covered over with yellow crocuses, and other flowers; and I looked on them with delight, while they gamboled and made posies, as they felt disposed.
"Here sister with sister roamed over the mead, And brother plucked flow'rets with brother; And playmates with playmates ran on with such speed That the one tumbled over the other."
4. Now, they all had been told to keep away from the ditch at the bottom of the field; but, notwithstanding this injunction, one little urchin, of the name of Jarvis, seeing a flower in the hedge on the opposite bank, which he wished to gather, crept nearer and nearer to the ditch.
5. The closer he got to the flower, the more beautiful it appeared to be, and the stronger the temptation became to pluck it.
6. Now, what right had he to put himself in the way of temptation? The field, as I said before, was covered over with flowers; and that in the hedge was no better than the rest, only it was a forbidden flower, and when anything is forbidden it becomes, on that very account, a greater temptation to a disobedient heart.
7. Jarvis had gathered a whole handful of flowers before he saw the one growing in the hedge; but he threw all these away, so much was his mind set on getting the one which he wanted.
8. Unluckily for him, in getting down the bank, his foot slipped, and down he rolled into a bed of stinging nettles, at the bottom of the ditch, which fortunately happened to have in it but little water.
9. Jarvis screamed out with might and main, as he lay on his back; for, whichever way he turned, his cheeks and his fingers brushed against the nettles.
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10. His cries soon brought his companions around him; but, as they were all young, they knew not how to render him a.s.sistance, on account of the stinging nettles, and the depth of the ditch.
11. I ran to the spot, and pulled up Master Jarvis in a pretty pickle, his jacket and trowsers plastered with mud, and his hands and face covered with blotches.