The Book Of Curiosities Part 69

_Weep-not_ Billings, of Lewes.

_Meek_ Brewer, of Okeham.

A noted character in those days was a divine of the name of _Praise-G.o.d Barebone_. He is little known as a divine, but is celebrated for having been an active member in Cromwell's parliament, and indeed for giving a name to it which is yet preserved in history. Praise-G.o.d Barebone had two brothers, namely, _Christ-came-into-the-world-to-save Barebone_, and _If-Christ-had-not-died-thou-hadst-been-d.a.m.ned Barebone_: some are said to have omitted the former part of the latter name, and to have called him only "d.a.m.ned Barebone."

The reader will be amused with the following CURIOUS EXTRACTS FROM THE WILL OF AN EARL OF PEMBROKE.

"_Imprimis._--For my soul; I confess I have heard very much of souls, but what they are, or whom they are, or what they are for, G.o.d knows, I know not: they tell me now of another world, where I never was, nor do I know one foot of the way thither. While the king stood, I was of his religion, made my son wear a ca.s.sock, and thought to make him a bishop, but then came the Scots, and made me a Presbyterian; and since Cromwell entered, I have been an Independent. These, I believe, are the kingdom's three estates; and if any of these can save a soul, I may claim one; therefore if my executors do find I have a soul, I give it to him who gave it me.

"_Item._--I give my body, for I cannot keep it, to be buried. Do not lay me in the church-porch, for I was a Lord, and would not be buried where Colonel Pride was born.

"_Item._--My will is, that I have no monument, for then I must have epitaphs and verses, and all my life long I have had too much of them.

"_Item._--I give all my deer to the Earl of Salisbury, who I know will preserve them, because he denied the king a buck out of one of his own parks.

"_Item._--I give nothing to the Lord Say; which legacy I give him, because I know he will bestow it on the poor.

"_Item._-To Tom May I give five s.h.i.+llings: I intended him more: but whoever has seen his history of the parliament, thinks five s.h.i.+llings too much.

"_Item._--I give Lieutenant General Cromwell one word of mine, because hitherto he never kept his own.

"_Item._--I give up the ghost, _concordat c.u.m originati_."

CURIOUS LETTER FROM POMARE, KING OF OTAHEITE, TO THE MISSIONARY SOCIETY.

(Translation.)

_Matavae, Otaheite, Jan. 1, 1807._

FRIENDS,

I wish you every blessing, friends, in your residence in your country, with success in teaching this bad land, this foolish land, this wicked land, this land which is ignorant of good, this land that knoweth not the true G.o.d, this regardless land.

Friends, I wish you health and prosperity; may I also live, and may Jehovah save us all!

Friends, with respect to your letter you wrote to me, I have this to say to you, that your business with me, and your wishes, I fully consent to, and shall consequently banish Ore (his chief idol) and send him to Racatea.

Friends, I do therefore believe and shall obey your word.

Friends, I hope you also will consent to my request, which is this; I wish you to send a great number of men, women, and children, here.

Friends, send also property and cloth for us, and we also will adopt English customs.

Friends, send also plenty of muskets and powder, for wars are frequent in our country:--should I be killed, you will have nothing in Tahete; do not come here when I am dead. Tahete is a regardless country; and should I die with sickness, do not come here. This also I wish, that you would send me all the curious things that you have in England: also send me every thing necessary for writing; paper, ink, and pens, in abundance; let no writing utensil be wanting.

Friends, I have done, and have nothing at all more to ask you for: as for your desire to instruct Tahete, 'tis what I fully acquiesce in. 'Tis a common thing for people not to understand at first; but your object is good, and I fully consent to it; and shall cast off all evil customs.

What I say is truth, and no lie; it is the real truth.

This is all I have to write. I have done. Friends, write to me, that I may know what you have to say. I wish you life and every blessing. May I also live, and Jehovah save us all!

POMARE, King of Tahete, &c. &c.

_For my Friends, the Missionary Society, London._

CURIOUS LOVE LETTER.

Madam,--Most worthy of estimation! After long consideration, and much meditation, on the great reputation you possess in the nation, I have a strong inclination to become your relation. On your approbation of this declaration, I shall make preparation to remove my situation, to a more convenient station, to profess my admiration; and if such oblation is worthy of observation, and can obtain commiseration, it will be an aggrandization beyond all calculation of the joy and exultation,

Of your's, SANS DISSIMULATION.

THE ANSWER.

Sir,--I perused your oration with much deliberation, and a little consternation, at the great infatuation of your imagination, to shew such veneration on so slight a foundation. But after examination and much serious contemplation, I supposed your animation was the fruit of recreation, or had sprung from ostentation, to display your education, by an odd enumeration, or rather multiplication, of words of the same termination, though of great variation in each respective signification.

Now without disputation, your laborious application in so tedious an occupation, deserves commemoration, and thinking imitation a sufficient gratification, I am, without hesitation,

Your's, MARY MODERATION.

CREEDS OF THE JEWS.--The following piece is transcribed from the Common Prayer now in use among the Jews, and is ent.i.tled the Thirteen Creeds. It will give some idea of the theoretic branch of religion now prevailing among this singular people.

1. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that G.o.d is the Creator of all things; that he doth guide and support all creatures; that he alone has made every thing; and that he still acts, and will act, during the whole eternity.

2. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that G.o.d is one; there is no unity like his: he alone hath been, and shall be eternally, our G.o.d.

3. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that G.o.d is not corporeal; he cannot have any material properties; and no corporeal essence can be compared with him.

4. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that G.o.d is the beginning and end of all things.

5. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that G.o.d alone ought to be wors.h.i.+pped, and none but he ought to be adored.

6. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, whatever hath been taught by the Prophets.

7. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that the doctrine of Moses is true. He is the father and the head of all the doctors that lived before or since, or shall live after him.

8. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that the law we have is the same as was given by Moses.

9. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that this law shall never be altered, and G.o.d will give no other.

10. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that G.o.d knoweth all the thoughts and actions of men.

11. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that G.o.d will reward the works of all those who perform his commandments, and punish those who transgress his laws.

12. I believe, with a firm and perfect faith, that the Messiah is to come.

Although he tarrieth, I will wait, and expect daily his coming!