When A Snail Loves Chapter 8.3

A Blessed New Year to all of our readers! May your year be filled with peace, hope and love ❤

Now, the end is near . . . Will Xu Jun overcome his self-imposed barrier and make a move or squander his opportunities? I leave it to you to find out . . .

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Xu Jun’s Story Part 3

世间的颜色

The Colours of the World

Mu Tong became accustomed to Xu Jun's existence.

In fact, he became something of a habit.

Every Friday, he would visit her bookstore, browse through the books, drink the tea she personally prepared, and eat the pastries she had made. They very rarely conversed. Much of the time, their gazes would inadvertently cross. He would stare at her, and her perennially tranquil gaze would sweep across him.

Everything was peaceful and perfect. The quiet and cosy bookstore she had personally decorated, the pot of emerald green orchids she had bought, the delicate fragrance of the tea leaves she measured out . . . Xu Jun sometimes felt that he should thank Mu Tong for providing him with such a peaceful and quiet place to be. After a busy day at work, he was only able to fully relax when he was at this place. Moreover, whenever he sat on his usual sofa and closed his eyes, the words that she had uttered that day would float to the forefront of his mind.

Shut your eyes, and the entire world will quieten down.

There were also others pursuing Mu Tong. In these past few days, fresh flowers that someone had sent would always be on the counter after work. The bookstore a.s.sistants were not sure of the intention behind the flowers, and would quietly discuss the possibilities whenever Mu Tong was not around.  

"It's a white-collar worker who works in the office building opposite," they commented. "Our boss is still attractive and charismatic."

Xu Jun shot a look at the flowers – huh, they were just the standard red roses.

The moment Mu Tong smelled the flowers, she would quietly exhort the bookstore a.s.sistants to take them away. After a few weeks, the flowers stopped coming. While the bookstore a.s.sistants were somewhat disappointed, Mu Tong carried on with her usual quiet way of life. Xu Jun did not make any comment, but his mood lifted immeasurably.

Falling deeper and deeper . . . it's just that some people never realise it, and simply let things slide.

This year, Qing Ming* happened to fall on a Friday. Early in the morning, the secretary softly asked Xu Jun, "President Xu, the fresh flowers and offerings have already been prepared. Will you be going to the cemetery at noon, as usual?"

* 清明 (Qing Ming) – also known as the Pure Brightness Festival or Tomb Sweeping Day. Usually occurs in early April. During this time, the Chinese visit the graves of their departed relatives and loved ones to pay their respects, offer sacrifices and literally sweep the tombs (clean them).

After a startled moment, Xu Jun nodded.

Months pa.s.s, and years go by. Ye Zixi had already been dead for five years, and they had parted twelve years ago.

Xu Jun sat alone at the grave until late.

The picture on the tombstone had been taken when Ye Zixi had returned to Lin City. In it, she looked capable as well as bright and pretty, but she looked so different from the time when they had been in love.

In truth, he could not clearly remember what she had been like when they were lovers. He could only remember feelings and emotions: gentleness, ardour, softness, infatuation. What was clearest to him was that their relations.h.i.+p caused his younger self to feel as if he were perpetually on fire. It was too fierce, too sweet, as if an entire lifetime of affection were consumed in that moment.

When the moon had risen above the tree branches, he finally got up from his perch in front of the grave, draped his coat over his shoulders and followed the dark path out of the cemetery.

At that moment, his handphone chimed with reminders of two scheduled events.

The first: 'Ye Zixi's death memorial'.

The second: 'Return books to Mu Tong'.

The night was chilly and desolate. The books which he had to return to Mu Tong were in the rear seat of the car. Xu Jun looked down at his watch: the bookstore had long closed by now.

But, on a day like this, having just paid his respects to Ye Zixi, he really had nowhere to go. He started the car and automatically drove to Mu Tong's bookstore. There were very few people on the streets. Surprisingly, there was a light on in her bookstore. The warm light shone through the windows and spilled onto the steps leading up to the door. One could vaguely make out a slender silhouette seated behind the counter, with its head lowered.

—–

Xu Jun opened the door and walked in.

She was alone in the store. She raised her head at the sound, and those eyes, like lakes, exhibited warmth and welcome, as always.

"You're here." She stood up, and put her pen and book together.

"What were you writing?" asked Xu Jun. He usually saw her reading the same book, 'One Hundred Years of Solitude', and writing at the same time.

"A few annotations," she replied with a slight smile. "What kind of tea would you like to drink?"

He sat on his accustomed sofa in the corner while she prepared and served the tea and pastries, before quietly sitting behind the counter. Beyond the window the stars shone brightly. There was only the two of them, separated by the distance of a few steps, each one silent and unspeaking.

However, Xu Jun felt that the unspeakable anguish he had entered the bookstore with had been greatly soothed.

Xu Jun sat in the bookstore for half an hour before leaving. He had only driven for a few seconds before a thought came to mind. He turned back and saw Mu Tong closing up the bookstore by herself, both hands moving with ease across the door frame, groping for the lock and bolting the door.

"I'll take you home." He sat in the car and looked at her quietly.

—-

Xu Jun started the car to drive Mu Tong home.

The car sped through the night, its lights blazing. It was close to midnight. When Mu Tong had been involved in the case a.n.a.lysis, she had been a focused bundle of high energy. Now, she seemed exceedingly weary.

Neither of them spoke during the entire journey. When they reached her apartment block, Xu Jun got out to open her car door, and said, "I'll accompany you upstairs."

Mu Tong pulled her collar and scarf closer, shook her head with a slight smile, and said, "There's no need. I'm very familiar with the way."

Xu Jun looked at her shoulders, slightly hunched against the icy wind, her slender neck, wound round with the scarf, and her pure white face, like frost. It occurred to him in that split second that he wanted to pull her into his embrace.

Amidst the ma.s.s of humanity, he had miraculously met such a person who caused his heart to ache from the moment he set eyes on her.

However, he held back, and simply nodded while saying, "Goodbye," before driving off in a cloud of dust.

After he had left, Mu Tong walked up the staircase slowly. The apartment she and Mu Chen rented was in an old-fas.h.i.+oned apartment block, without an elevator. The lights on several floors were also not working. However, it didn't matter, as it was all the same to her.

It took her a long time to walk the familiar route. Her eyes were a little moist, but, by the time she reached her front door, she had regained her usual composure. Mu Chen exclaimed as he opened the door for her, "Why are you home so late? What about Brother Xu?" With a mocking smile, he commented, "I thought he would walk you up."

Mu Tong gently shook her head. "He wouldn't have."

—

Near the end of the year, Xu Jun's company was preparing to be listed on the stock market, and he became very busy. He only had time to visit the bookstore every fortnight or so. His complexion looked pretty bad, and he occasionally overheard his subordinates conjecturing that he and his mysterious girlfriend must have broken up.

A few days before the new year, during the off-peak season, Xu Jun reserved  a conference room at a spa on the outskirts of the city in order to hold the company's annual meeting. As usual, he gave Xu Xu several VIP guest pa.s.ses. When the meeting ended, it was already after nine p.m.. The company staff members had all dispersed to have fun at the various entertainment centres in the spa. Xu Jun had been exhausted these past few days, and had no desire to engage in any such activities. He reclined in the innermost, private open-air pool. This room was exclusively for men, so he reckoned that Ji Bai would be along sooner or later.

Sure enough, after he had soaked for a while, he heard footsteps, but did not turn his head. Whoever it was stood at the edge of the pool, and whispered softly, "Xu Xu, are you there?"

Xu Jun opened his eyes abruptly. He saw Mu Tong, wearing a full-body swimsuit, standing at the edge of the steaming hot water. He had not met her for many days.

He quietly observed her through the cloud-like mist of steam separating them.

A woman's body covered by a swimsuit becomes even more bewitching and soul-shaking, while the exposed face is especially serene and pure. The interweaving of these two qualities is both mysterious and peaceful. In the end, Xu Jun's gaze ended at her neck, as fair and elegant as l.u.s.trous white jade, and his throat constricted.

That Mu Tong would walk into the wrong spa room was totally by accident. Firstly, she had never been to this place before. Secondly, the attendant had told her that it was the room on the left. However, the attendant's left side was Mu Tong's right side. The attendant had also told her that Xu Xu had asked for lavender essential oil. When Mu Tong stood at the entrance of the room Xu Jun was in, she had smelled lavender essential oil.

The attendant had forgotten to tell her that Xu Jun's likes were similar to Xu Xu's.

Xu Jun stood up in the water and walked over to stand in front of her. As he looked at her, he asked, "How is it that you couldn't smell it was me?"

Slightly shaken, Mu Tong said, "I'm sorry!"

The pool water masked his normal scent, so how was she supposed to smell him? However, at the present moment, with his body so close to hers, the heat from his masculine form and muscles was even more distinct than on previous occasions.

She blushed, and turned to leave. Her foot slipped and she was about to fall, when Xu Jun grabbed hold of her waist.

Exactly how did he come to press her against the side of the pool and kiss her ardently? Whenever Xu Jun thought about it, his mind was somewhat fogged, but how his body felt was startlingly clear. He could only remember the feeling when her fair, soft and delicate body was enveloped in his arms. For the very first time, he realised he didn't want to let go.

The mist filled the room, the lights were soft and dim. They had only known each other for slightly more than a year, but Xu Jun felt as if he had been repressed for many years, and he followed the line of her body, kissing her inch by inch, her cheeks, her neck, her shoulder, her waist . . . As for Mu Tong, who had never been intimate with a man before, she lay like a water lily by the pool side, panting slightly, and allowed him to do as he wished with her body.

—-

That night, Xu Jun fell asleep very quickly when he returned to his room. He dreamt of the time he had first met Ye Zixi. At that time, she was in the third year of University, while he was in the first year. She was widely acknowledged to be a talented girl, and while she had countless suitors, she did not spare any of them a single glance. The female students' building she lived at was right next door to the first year male students' dormitory. Every evening, she could be seen walking gracefully down the long avenue. The young, callow lads would only dare to stand and watch this lady with such regal bearing. On that day, Xu Jun dressed himself especially in a new T-s.h.i.+rt. Carrying a thick cla.s.sic book, he sat by the side of the avenue, waiting for her to walk past. When she did so, he blocked her path and said, "h.e.l.lo, Senior*. I am first year student Xu Jun."

*师姐 (s.h.i.+ jie) – senior (female) fellow student or apprentice

Ye Zixi stood in the glow of the setting sun and turned her head to look at him. A slow smile spread across her face.

"May I invite you to dinner tonight?"

"All right."

Later on, what did she say when she had made up her mind to leave him?

Xu Jun, I love you, but maybe I don't love you enough. I'm sorry. I want to end this relations.h.i.+p.

No, Ye Zixi, it's not that your love wasn't enough.

It's me that didn't love you enough. That's why I allowed you to be the sacrificial lamb and leave.

—

The next morning, Xu Jun received a call from the Shanghai Stock Exchange about an urgent matter, so he had to rush back to the office. As the car left the spa, he suddenly recalled the scene from the previous night when he had brought Mu Tong back to her room. With a crimson face and s.h.i.+ning eyes, she had said softly, "See you tomorrow."

He only nodded as he said, "Rest early."

Once Xu Jun got going at work, there was no way to stop.

One day, two days, three days.

It wasn't that he had no free time, it was only that he was so exhausted. Even when he took out his handphone and saw Mu Tong's number, he had no energy to call her.

Should he advance or retreat, should he hold tight or let go?

It was not because he was indecisive, but because she was no ordinary person. She was blind, she was more perceptive than other people, she was incomparably pure and innocent.

If he started a relations.h.i.+p with her, how could he be hard-hearted enough to call it quits?

A relations.h.i.+p with her would be in the second half of his life. He didn't know if he had it in him to accompany someone in his latter years.

On the morning of the fourth day, they had finally finished what needed to be done at that stage. Xu Jun had not slept for several days. The secretary said, "President Xu, just go home and sleep. There's nothing critical in the follow-up work." Xu Jun nodded, but drove to the bookstore instead.

When he reached the bookstore, it was already noon. The winter sun made the gla.s.s door sparkle, and lent the scene an air of warmth. Because of his work, Xu Jun had become detached and indifferent, almost unfeeling. Now, he suddenly felt greatly at ease.

He pushed open the door and strode into the bookstore.

The bookstore a.s.sistants were all shocked to see him.

He looked round searchingly, but did not see Mu Tong anywhere. An a.s.sistant walked hesitantly up to him to say, "Mr Xu, Sister Mu had something to attend to. Last night, she took a bus back to her old home."

With some anxiety, the a.s.sistant added, "These past few days, Sister Mu has stayed in the bookstore and kept it open around the clock. We're not sure what happened."

Xu Jun's heart suddenly skipped a beat.

She had been waiting for him for three days.

—

Xu Jun left the bookstore and called his secretary. "I'm leaving Lin City for a while. If anything comes up, just hang tight." In a very awkward tone, the secretary said, "President Xu, I was just about to call you. The fund management company's senior president has come to pay you a visit . . ."

Xu Jun couldn't leave. He called Xu Xu and exhorted her, "Find Mu Tong and bring her back for me."

Xu Xu had always been rather slow where male-female relations were concerned. However, when she heard Xu Jun's tone, she had an inkling that something was up, and asked, "The two of you . . ."

"Yes, we've started a relations.h.i.+p."

Xu Xu was very seldom agitated, but she felt a frisson of excitement on hearing this. The minute she finished work, she rushed to 'the crime scene' – Mu Tong's bookstore – to see what she could find out.

According to the bookstore a.s.sistants, Mu Tong had left in a hurry that night after receiving a call from her old home, and hadn't even taken a change of clothes with her. Xu Xu felt better after hearing that. It looked like a sudden but temporary situation had come up, and she would be back very soon. Why on earth was Xu Jun worried to such an extent?

The book she had been reading that day was still on the table – as usual, it was 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' – with a pencil at the side. Xu Xu took up the book, glanced through it, and was shocked into stillness.

Later that night, Xu Xu took the book with her to look for Xu Jun.

Xu Jun was still working overtime at the office. When he saw her, he looked a little startled. "Have you found her yet?"

Xu Xu flipped open the book and pointed out a line in braille at the bottom of the first page. "Do you know what this means?"

Xu Jun knew that those were Mu Tong's annotations, but he naturally could not understand what was written, and shook his head.

"I'm violating Mu Tong's privacy, but I've decided I should read it to you,' Xu Xu sighed.

"You can read Braille?"

"Um. When I had time, I studied the braille chart, so I can recognise the fundamental symbols."

Xu Xu took up the book and slowly read, "7th December. The first time I met Mr Xu."

Xu Jun froze and listened to Xu Xu continue reading.

"His voice is very low, but even though he was far away, I was still able to hear him clearly. Laughing slightly, he told the manager, 'Mu Tong is my friend'. Actually, I did not know him at all at that time.

"He has a faint whiff of nicotine, as well as of alcohol, and he has a very clean smell, not like other people. Mu Chen says that the Mr Xu featured in the magazines is very glamorous and charming. But, I really can't figure out what kind of person he is. He has such an indifferent and detached tone of voice, yet, he was willing to come to the aid of strangers that he met by chance."

萍水相逢 (ping shui xiang feng) – lit. patches of drifting duckweed coming together; fig. Strangers coming together by chance

"9th February. The first time he visited my bookstore and borrowed 'The White Horse Neighing in the West Wind'*. So, he likes to read wuxia novels**.

*白马啸西风 (bai ma xiao xi feng) – White Horse Neighing in the West Wind by Jin Yong ()

**武侠小说 (wu xia xiao shuo) – novels about swordsmans.h.i.+p and the deeds of martial artists in ancient China (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wuxia)

"12th March. I went to the police station to help in an investigation. He drove me home. We didn't say very much. He is entirely different from those criminal investigators, very quiet. But Xu Xu had mentioned that he is an extrovert.

"6th April. Qing Ming. He came by to the bookstore very late and was experiencing great sorrow. I've finally determined that he's continually longing for someone.

"27th December. He kissed me.

(T/N Given the description earlier, they were probably doing more than kissing, and Mu Tong is perhaps being discreet and/or shy . . .)

"Today is already the third day. I've been waiting for him all this time, but it looks like I'm waiting in vain.

"That person is continually living in the past. I don't feel sad, just regretful. When I hear his voice, smell his scent, I feel an indescribable pang of regret. How could there be a man like this . . ."

—

Two days later, early in the morning before he had properly woken up, Xu Jun received a call from his manager.

"President Xu, that person has returned. Just reached the store."

Xu Jun got up in a flash.

He had sent the manager to keep watch near Mu Tong's apartment, with the order that the manager was to call him the minute he saw her, no matter what time it was. Xu Jun glanced at his watch, he had a meeting at nine in the morning. He immediately showered, changed into a clean suit, and made a call to the florist for an express delivery of a huge bouquet of white roses.

Just before he left, he caught sight of her book on the table. He took it up and shoved it into his pocket.

What should he say first?

The person he once loved was as proud as a peac.o.c.k, and he will not be able to forget her*.

*刻骨铭心 (ke gu ming xin) – lit. carved into bones and engraved in the heart; fig. leave an indelible impression, unforgettable, etched in one's memory.

Now, the woman he loves is as quiet as a migratory bird.

It's not only her who has been waiting, he had also been waiting for too many years.

As the years pa.s.s, we all need a little more courage. Shall we start loving each other today?

Translator: shl

TL Checker/ Editor:

Proofreader: Librismuse