Rhyn Eternal: Deidre's Death Part 18

"That's sweet." She smiled. "I guess what made the biggest impression was watching you and her over the course of thousands of years. There was never a day when you didn't love each other. There were days when you hated the fact you did love her, and there were days when she almost walked away from you for good, because she hated that she couldn't control how she felt," Deidre continued. "But there was never a day when you didn't love her and she didn't love you."

The words were hard for him to hear. There was too much truth in them for his comfort. He wanted to condemn the horrible things past-Death had done that resulted in an innocent human being thrown to the Dark One. Her actions disgusted him, but he was angrier with himself for not being able to make himself feel less towards her.

His gaze lingered on human-Deidre, and he was troubled by the memories of the time they spent together. Time he might have enjoyed, if he hadn't pushed her away. Could he have prevented this outcome? How could he ever forgive his mate for what happened? He'd only learned the woman he fell for last week was still alive and now he had to let her go.

Again.

"I'm sorry, Deidre," he whispered. "You gave me hope when I was numb to the world. You don't deserve any of this."

"Silver lining," she said softly. "I helped Rhyn protect kids. I can help others. Darkyn is not an easy person to understand or live with, and I'm still not certain at all what to think of him at times. He's been fair and brutally honest, and he can't hurt me because of our blood bond. I kind of like him, even if he scares me."

"Kind of like him." Gabriel smiled. "Only someone as sweet as you would say that about the Dark One."

"Don't get me wrong. He's not normal. But it makes me think that maybe things happen for a reason."

"What reason is there behind falling for a woman and watching her get s.h.i.+pped off to live with the Dark One?" he asked bitterly.

"You did love me," she said, smiling.

"Yeah."

"I've got news for you, Death," she said in a lighter tone. "What you loved about me is present in your current mate. You just have to give it a chance."

"She sends you to h.e.l.l, and you go to bat for her."

"Not for her. For you," she replied. "I want you to be happy. I am out of the picture. I understand this. I also forgive both of you, Gabe. I can't say I want her to be happy yet, but I don't want her to be sad."

He laughed. "That's as spiteful as you get, isn't it?"

"Pretty much." She was blus.h.i.+ng. "I loved you, too, Gabriel. I think a part of me always will. You gave me the strength to take a step I wouldn't have otherwise. You made me want to live when I was ready to die. I'll always be grateful to you for that."

Her eyes were s.h.i.+mmering with tears that only heightened her seductive appeal. She meant what she said; that much was clear. His anger lessened without him understanding why. She accepted her fate with the Dark One. It should've made him angrier.

Gabriel didn't say what he thought, that she might've been better off in the Lake of Souls than with Darkyn. A part of him was relieved. Human-Deidre was alive and healthy. He purposely didn't let himself think about Darkyn being in her bed instead of him.

"You're welcome, I think," he said with a shake of his head. "My offer to hide you in the underworld is always open."

"I won't need it."

They sat in silence, both of them gazing at the ocean. She s.h.i.+vered in the chilly ocean breeze. Gabriel resisted the urge to wrap his arm around her the way he had once before.

"You want something else from me," Deidre a.s.sessed.

He glanced at her.

"Darkyn said my weakness is being taken advantage of by others. He shared some of his power or whatever your deities do. I can sense that you have an ulterior motive of some sort," she explained. "I can't see it, but I feel it."

"Savvy demon," Gabriel murmured. "You needed that."

"No more men like Wynn killing me slowly." Her features saddened.

"You're right. I do need to ask you for something."

She focused on him in interest.

"I have to get into the underworld. The dealers are rebelling, and they've figured out a way to out me from my position. I have to be there in order to prevent it," he said carefully. "The only way into the underworld is through h.e.l.l."

"Darkyn will make you a deal you probably can't live with," she guessed. "I can't make deals."

"I wasn't going to ask you to," he said. "I was going to ask you to help me get home."

Her calm acceptance faded, replaced by turmoil. He couldn't read all the emotions crossing her face. She ducked her gaze, and her breathing quickened.

"You're afraid," he said.

She shook her head.

"You're not the only one who can sense emotion in others," he reminded her with a nudge. "It's more than fear. I'd say you're still p.i.s.sed at me."

"You know what you're asking me to do?" she said at last.

"Yes. I have no other option, Deidre. There's something in my underworld that I have to find before they do."

"What is it?" she asked.

He grappled with himself. He trusted the human, but dared he trust the mate of the Dark One?

"Only my soul," he replied ruefully.

"Oh, G.o.d, Gabriel."

"Just get me through h.e.l.l. What happens then won't matter."

"Gabriel ..." Deidre sounded distressed. She rose and paced, the dress tracing her movements in a way that made his eyes follow her body. "You shouldn't have told me that. You shouldn't have asked me."

"I have no alternative," he said with some irritation, rising. "I'm not asking because of what we had. I'm asking because I have no choice. I'll owe you."

"You already do owe me one favor," she reminded him.

"I'll owe you two."

Deidre sighed. "I'll try to help you, Gabriel. G.o.d help me, I don't know how."

She paced. He watched her, resolute despite how it made him feel to ask more of the woman he'd already f.u.c.ked over.

"I have to figure this out," she murmured. "Can I have a little time?"

"Whatever you need."

"Don't worry. I'll figure it out way before our deal is up," she said, rolling her eyes.

"What deal?"

"The one between me and your Deidre."

"You made a deal." He crossed his arms, unimpressed. He'd thought to ask Darkyn about any debts owed but not about any future debts. "Do I want to know what it was?"

She hesitated. "No. Because it doesn't matter."

"Your deal is sealed by the Dark One. Why do I have the feeling he's waiting to collect?"

"I can't talk about it with you, Gabriel. She shouldn't either," she said quietly. "Please just know I bear neither of you ill will, despite the outcome."

"f.u.c.k," he muttered. "That scares the s.h.i.+t out of me."

"It shouldn't. I'm the only one in this mess who isn't out to hurt anyone else," she retorted. "It's strange, but I've learned from Darkyn not to be ashamed of my nature. He laughs at me for being unwilling to hurt anyone else, but he says no one should feel shame about who they are."

"He's a living example of that," Gabriel remarked wryly. "Life lessons from a sociopathic demon lord. I never expected him to be capable of treating you well."

"He does, in his own way," she replied. "Can I get your soul from the underworld?"

"A demon of human origin?" he shook his head. "Neither humans nor demons are permitted entry to the underworld."

She gave a sound of frustration.

"It would take all of five seconds," he said. "I'll accept all risk and if Darkyn is angry, I'll take you with me."

"Let me figure it out," she repeated. "Thank you for checking up on me and for the offer to protect me."

"It's the least I can do."

Troubled, Deidre nodded. She nibbled on her lower lip with the tiny fangs. Gabriel sensed someone else join them and tensed. He knew who it was without looking.

"Romantic setting for two former lovers." The Dark One's low growl made Deidre blink.

"We're just talking. No need to be jealous," Gabriel said. Any gentleness he felt with Deidre dissipated at the arrival of her mate.

"One might ask why you're distressing my mate," Darkyn said.

Deidre sighed. "I'm not distressed. He didn't do or say anything bad."

Gabriel watched her, wanting to verify that she didn't fear the creature she was trapped with. Deidre crossed the short distance to her mate and paused in front of him. Darkyn appeared unwelcoming as usual, his frame rigid and his growl loud enough for Gabriel to hear. He half-expected Darkyn to snap or scream at her. As confused as he felt, Gabriel would never let anyone hurt either Deidre, no matter whose mate she was.

The demon lord did neither. Deidre leaned forward until she was resting against the demon, who didn't move away. She nudged his chin with her cheek. Darkyn lifted his head in what Gabriel took to be disapproval.

He almost smiled. In that moment, the demon lord reminded him of Rhyn when the half-demon was trying not to let his mate soften his mood. Darkyn wasn't happy, but Deidre wasn't scared, a sign Gabriel took as good. His only hope was that Deidre didn't share what he revealed to her with the Dark One, who would do whatever it took to beat Gabe to his soul.

She nudged him again. Without taking his eyes off Gabriel, the ruthless demon lord that knew no mercy bowed his head to his mate and nudged her gently in return. The subtle nonverbal exchange was intimate and powerful, enough to tell Gabriel that there was a side to Darkyn only his mate knew. It was also a warning, one Gabriel understood innately, that Deidre belonged to the Dark One. Darkyn was claiming his territory with one small touch.

"This was where we met, Darkyn," Gabe said. No part of him was unwilling to bait the demon.

"Thus far, only one of us has managed to hold onto her," Darkyn replied.

"No fighting," Deidre said softly. "Go home, Gabriel."

He smiled to himself. He didn't want to provoke the demon lord into a fight, not when he might need to deal with him soon.

"Always a pleasure, Deidre."

She turned to look at him without leaving Darkyn's body. The demon had yet to touch her aside from the nudge, and she kept herself between the two of them as Gabriel called a portal. He thought he saw a flicker of sadness cross her gaze before he crossed into the shadow world.

He wondered if she'd be able to swing helping him. If she turned him over to Darkyn, he deserved it. But he hoped that wasn't the case.

Gabriel stepped out of the portals to find himself beside the lake near Rhyn's fortress. It was almost morning on this side of the world. He wiped his face, still able to smell the scent of his mate on his skin. It stirred his blood. Seeing human-Deidre left him pensive, not entirely certain what to do about his own mate.

His eyes settled on the lake. She'd figured out how the souls were crossing over. Their attempt to dig a hole to the underworld failed, but at least they'd stemmed the flow of souls. He was proud of her for this and for telling him what she did.

What he couldn't quite rationalize: what he would've done if she hadn't gotten lucky and Darkyn didn't want his mate. The G.o.ddess f.u.c.ked over Deidre without any sort of remorse. Now human, she understood what she had done. It helped but wasn't enough for him to be able to forgive her just yet.

His thoughts returned to the deal the two Deidres made. Neither had told him what exactly it was. All he knew was that it would be over soon. He didn't believe Darkyn's mate when she said it didn't matter. Or that she bore them no ill will. It sounded as if she'd already won, which meant his mate had lost.

What was on the line?

Gabriel glanced towards the fortress. He hadn't been able to face his mate since her confession. He wasn't certain that he was able to now. She hadn't sought him out, which made him think she was too afraid to talk to him.

He'd promised to spend every night with her. Unable to determine what he felt, he did want to at least see her.

He walked back to the fortress, hoping the cold night air cleared his mind.

When he reached her bedroom, he hesitated then entered. The French doors were open, rendering the room cold. His eyes fell to a toaster on the dresser with two socks resting beside it, as if waiting for their turn to warm her feet in the morning.

His mate was curled into a tight ball in the middle of her bed, on top of the covers. Her sleep was fitful, and he walked to the bed, standing beside it in the dark.

How the f.u.c.k did he just go with what she'd done? He still didn't know. The human was okay, and his mate was at his side, where she'd always belonged. He sat on the bed, reaching over to rest a hand on her head. He used his power to soothe her sleep.

Being near her calmed him, despite his ambivalence.

She'd told him the truth, because she wanted them to have a relations.h.i.+p built on trust and love. Because not telling him was hurting her.

This wasn't the same G.o.ddess who f.u.c.ked them all over. She'd been incapable of empathy or remorse. Darkyn stripped her power, turning her human. The woman in the bed behind him wouldn't hurt anyone else.

The woman in the bed behind him had taken three days to warn him about the human left in h.e.l.l. What if Darkyn slaughtered the innocent life dragged into this mess for no other purpose than to make the G.o.ddess' transition easier.

Disposable. The human thought herself unwanted, except by Darkyn, who had done more to help her than Gabriel thought possible. She was able to justify it as destiny. He wasn't as forgiving of himself or his mate.

There was never a day when you didn't love each other.

Gabriel considered the human's sad wisdom. This was what troubled him most: that despite everything his mate had done, he never stopped loving her. He hadn't been able to during their time together when she was a G.o.ddess and he her servant. He couldn't now that their roles were reversed.