Happy Thought Hall Part 27

Don't be profane--of the Hidalgos of Spain. I have already a.s.sumed half the t.i.tle. The rest will be sent on to me in a few days, and I am here to offer to Penelope Anne the hand and coronet of Don Jose John de Boxos y Caballeros y Regalias de Salamanca. _Fuego_, as we say in Spain, _Fuego_.

c.o.x.

Never, while _I_ live, shall _you_ marry Penelope Anne.

BOX.

Never, while I marry Penelope Anne, shall you live. I've Spanish blood in my veins. Pistols!

c.o.x.

Swords!

BOX.

When?

c.o.x.

Now. (_Clock strikes_). That's the second gla.s.s of water you have made me lose. You are ruining my health.

BOX.

Then let me shoot you at once. By the way, I haven't got a pistol.

c.o.x.

Paltry evasion! There's a shooting gallery here where they let 'em out by the hour.

BOX.

How many hours shall we take 'em for?

c.o.x.

Well--we've got to pay in advance.

BOX.

Well, you advance the money and I'll pay.

c.o.x.

No. We'll borrow it from the waiter.

BOX.

Yes, and leave it to be paid by our executors out of the estate. Come.

BOTH.

DUETT.

("_Suoni la tromba._")

Off to the tented field!

Pistols! revolvers they shall be!

Sooner than ever yield I'll fight for death or victore_e_!

BOX (_aside_).

Yes! he must be my target.

Must the unhappy c.o.x.

c.o.x (_aside_).

What will they say at Margate When I have shot poor Box.

BOTH.

Ah!

["Off to the tented," &c. _They repeat the duett and are about to exit, when they stop at the door and return._

BOX.

Hem! I say, sir.

c.o.x.

Well, sir?

BOX.

I intend to exterminate you.

c.o.x.

I mean to blow you to atoms.

BOX.

But if we _don't_ exterminate each other it will be rather awkward.

c.o.x.

Yes. I shouldn't like to be wounded. It hurts.