My Blood Approves: Fate Part 23

"He called Ezra last week," Mae answered tentatively.

"And?" I tried to turn my head to look at her, but she pushed it back away from her.

"Ezra's with him right now." Mae's voice had dropped so low, it was almost inaudible, and my heart stopped dead in its tracks. Her hands finally let go of my hair, allowing me to face her.

"They're working on some business together. Jack doesn't know."

"How could he not know? Why wouldn't Ezra tell him?" I wanted to shout, and I felt like I was, but my voice came out surprisingly quiet. It took all my strength just to get out a whisper. Just talking about Peter had a way of taking all the oxygen out of the room.

"Jack would probably quit the business and move out and run away and all that." Mae shook her head and lowered her eyes. "He can be so melodramatic sometimes."

"That's pretty much what Peter did, isn't it?" I countered.

"Peter had too!" Her eyes flashed defensively, and I felt this odd sense about it. She was protecting Peter, and for some reason, that didn't sit well with me. "You know I don't agree with how he's handled things with you. Especially what he did in the end... That's unforgivable, and we're all very upset with him. But you've got to understand. Peter and Ezra were together for a hundred years before I was even born. Peter gave Ezra a piece of his humanity back, and without him, I'm not sure Ezra would've stayed sane all those years. Life wasn't always like it is now."

"I know that. Ezra told me about his past," I told her, and she nodded evenly.

"I thought he had. But it's more than that, Alice. They are brothers, probably even closer than you are with Milo." Her expression softened and she took my hand gently in hers. "He can't just shut him out. But he can't lose Jack or you either. Family is very important to Ezra."

"I don't want Peter gone either," I said carefully, and I was surprised by how true that was.

My body felt like a livewire that had just been activated. All my veins and cells tingled at the mention of him, and that dull ache I mostly ignored pulsated like a fresh knife wound in my chest.

Everything that coursed through me, coursed through me for him, and I knew that.

"You still feel it for him, then?" Mae had gone pale and her eyes had widened with worry.

"I can't stop feeling it," I growled wearily. "I want to, sometimes, but I can't. And I don't think I can stop feeling anything for Jack either. But... I still miss Peter, and I'd miss Jack. I don't know how I'm supposed to make sense of that."

"You're not. You're not supposed to feel that way." Mae smiled sadly at me and tucked a stray hair back. "But you already knew that."

"Where is Peter?" I couldn't believe I had even asked that. I didn't know why I even cared, or what I would possibly plan on doing with that information.

115.

"He's away, Alice," Mae told me firmly. "And that's the way it needs to stay. He's not good for you.

At least not right now, not with the way you both feel."

"I didn't want to see him." I shook my head forcefully, maybe too forcefully. "I have no reason to see him. I was just wondering. So I would know."

"Ezra is working on some things," Mae went on, ignoring the fact that I protested a little a too much.

"Things will be settled soon. It may seem like a long time to you, but that's just your age talking.

Things will be better, though."

"Yeah, I know," I lied.

I settled back in the couch, trying to slow the explosion of nerves inside of me, and Matilda rested her gigantic head on my lap. Mae went back to stroking my hair and trying to convince me that even fairy tales had their share of problems to work through. I didn't appreciate the way I still felt about Peter. By now, my feelings for him should've faded or completely gone away, especially after what he did to me. They should've been gone. But they weren't.

It didn't help matters that Jack wasn't around to remind me what truly mattered. He stayed out all night with Milo, practicing in the lake. It was much longer than I was comfortable with, so eventually Mae went to check on them. Once she confirmed that they were alright, she put in Breakfast at Tiffany's, and curled up next to me on the couch. I laid with her, but I couldn't concentrate on the movie. I couldn't concentrate on anything.

Somewhere during the night, I fell asleep. I didn't even realize until Jack was lifting me up and carrying me out to the car. When I woke up, I put my arms around his neck and snuggled closer to him, relis.h.i.+ng the familiar way he smelled and how perfectly safe his arms felt.

"I'm glad to see you too," Jack laughed quietly when I moved in close to him. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's okay," I murmured tiredly. When he set me down in the car, I was reluctant to let him go, but I had no choice but to relent. "Why are you taking me home?"

"Mae thought it would be better, after what happened last time." He shrugged sheepishly, and walked around to the other side of the car so he could get in.

"How did things go with Milo?" I yawned tiredly, and he just grinned at me.

"Good. Real good."

"I really wish I could've seen you more tonight," I mumbled, letting myself slide down in the seat so I was more comfortable. My body felt unnecessarily tired, already readjusting itself for the upcoming school schedule. "I think I needed to."

"Yeah, me too," Jack agreed, watching me struggle to stay awake. "Why don't you just sleep? We can talk tomorrow."

I opened my mouth to protest, but I only managed a yawn. Despite my best efforts, I fell asleep again, and I really wondered what my problem was. Thinking about Peter too much had exhausted me, apparently.

When I got home, I didn't even wake up at all. The next thing I knew after being in the car with Jack was waking up in my own bed. There was something rea.s.suring in knowing he'd taken me 116 up, but something felt really tragic about how little I'd see him. For some reason, I cried myself back to sleep.

Chapter 17.

This was the last night I could stay out as late as I wanted. Tomorrow would be my last full day before the start of my senior year, and my stomach cringed at the thought of it. I didn't even want to get out of bed. Part of me knew that my response should be to be party it up until the break of dawn, but for some reason, I felt too depressed to even get out of bed. The time alone in the apartment was getting to me, and I knew that I should take that as a sign to get out of it, but I couldn't. This was all just a reminder of how the rest of the year would play out, and maybe even longer than that if things never worked themselves out.

Burying myself deeper in the bed, I ignored the text messages from Jane. When broken down, they all said the same basic thing. "Hey girl! Let's get drunk!" That was one of them verbatim, the "hey girl" and everything. I can't imagine when she picked that up, but I hoped she dropped it pretty quickly. Even Milo had texted me, but I didn't reply to them either. They were mostly just to inform me that he was bored since Jack was gone, off meeting Ezra somewhere for some stupid business transaction.

I closed my eyes to the night outside my window, and I wondered how Jack wore his hair when he went on this business adventures with Ezra. Did he lay it flat, or gel it into the mess he normal has it? Did he wear a suit and tie? I could only picture him in the corner of some business meeting, playing Pac-Man on his cell phone, with his hair much too c.o.c.keyed for what could be considered appropriate.

This was the last night I could stay up all night, and he was gone. That's what had really gotten to me, and part of it was my fault. If I hadn't mocked him about his lack of interest in a career or fiscal responsibility, he might not have felt it necessary to learn the family trade. Then he wouldn't be gone right now, and I wouldn't be alone in my bed, shutting out the night.

"Alice!" I heard Milo yelling from another room, and I didn't even hear the front door to the apartment open.

He was calling my name, and I just pulled the covers over my head. It was really too hot for them, but I just wanted to bury myself and sink into oblivion. My bed wasn't exactly oblivion though, so it wasn't really working.

"Alice," Milo said disapprovingly, after I heard the creek of my bedroom door opening. "Why are you doing? Trying to give yourself heat stroke?"

"Maybe," I muttered into the blankets.

"What's going on with you? I messaged you like ten times." He peeled back the blankets when I didn't answer, and I tried to hide how refres.h.i.+ng it felt for my head to be out in the open. My skin had to be flushed with warmth and sweat, and the breeze from the open window felt wonderful.

"Is this about school starting? Its just school. It's not the end of the world."

"What do you think people will say when it really is the end of the world?" I wondered dryly. "It's the end of the world, but at least it's not school. Or prison. Or shots. Or whatever else isn't the end of the world."

"You're not very good at being contemplative," Milo commented. "You always sound like some bad caricature of a philosopher, like those fortune cookies with 'Confucius say' or the Nietzsche 117 guy from Mystery Men that's always saying 'when you walk on the ground, the ground walks on you.'"

"This is you cheering me up?" I turned to look at him, trying to cast him a dubious glare in the light streaming in from the streetlamp outside my window, but he wasn't even looking in my direction.

He sat on my bed with his back to me, and he appeared to be filing his nails, or something equally randomly gay.

"Hardly. This is me entertaining myself." He tossed aside the emery board, and finally looked back at me. "Jack's gone and I am bored with a capital 'O.'"

"Why a capital 'O?' It starts with a B. That doesn't even make sense."

"Why does the first letter always have to be capitalized? Vowels are more dramatic." He shrugged, and if he had long hair, he probably would've done some kind of hair toss along with it.

"It's not grammatically correct to capitalize the second letter. It's just the way the English language is," I said hesitantly. Milo was the studious one, and I felt very confused about explaining anything about English to him.

"Well, maybe I'll change grammar. I'm a vampire now. I can do anything I want." He flashed a 100 watt smile at me and threw himself down on the bed, sprawling out over my legs. Propping his head up on his elbow, he patted my stomach. "You've gotta get out of this bed. We're gonna do something."

"There's nothing to do!" I groaned.

That wasn't true. There were plenty of things to do in the Cities on a Sat.u.r.day night. I just didn't want to do any of them. Laying in bed was the most excitement I could handle. I hadn't even read any of Peter's book today because it just seemed like too much work. That, and I thought it would be better if I worked at trying to just forget him. I didn't know how or even if that would be possible, but it couldn't hurt to try.

"Oh, Alice," Milo sighed, tilting his head at me. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Nothing. I'm going to stay here. And do nothing."

No sooner had the words left my voice then my phone started ringing. Before I could even think to reach for it, Milo had jumped off me and grabbed it off the night stand. His reflexes were lightening fast, so at least Jack's training appeared to be working. Not that I fully understood what Milo needed to train for. It wasn't as if he was a soldier, after all.

"It's Jane!" Milo flipped open my phone and read the text message. "And she has a marvelous idea!"

"I don't even wanna know what it is." I tried pulling the covers back over my head, but Milo grabbed them and stopped me.

"You need to hurry up and get ready." He had finished texting her a reply and flipped my phone shut again. "She's going to be here in twenty minutes."

"What the h.e.l.l for?" I growled.

"We're going out. Clubs." He quickly added, "No vampire ones. We all know how those sit with you."

118.

"We can't get into clubs," I shook my head. "We're too young and we always get turned away."

"You never went with me before." Milo winked at me. "I'm like a good luck charm."

"I've had nothing but bad luck since you got here." I tried roll to over, but he gently placed a hand on my arm.

"Alice, come on. It'll be fun. I promise. And it's not like you have anything better to do."

"What's in it for me?" I rolled back over to face him, eyeing him up.

"A good time!" Milo exclaimed and grabbed my hand, yanking me out from bed. "You've got to hurry! You can't go to a clubs looking all sweaty and hot!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" I protested when he pulled me to my feet. "You're a vampire now. Don't you think Jane will notice?"

"She never sees me or pays attention when she does. Just tell her I had a growth spurt," Milo decided.

"A growth spurt?" I scoffed.

"This is Jane! She doesn't put a lot of thought into anything, except how she looks. We'll be fine,"

Milo insisted.

I let him rush around my room and play dress up on me. Ordinarily, when I got ready, I would at least express an interest picking things out, but I was basically being forced out against my will. If it wasn't comfy pajama type clothes, I didn't really want any of it. He could pick out my outfit well enough, but he needed me to do my own make up. I did it because if I didn't, I would look like major h.e.l.l out in public tonight, and I didn't want that.

When Milo had finished, he admired his work, and decided that I looked good enough to present in public. I wasn't sure if I agreed with him or not, but since I had agreed to do this whole thing, I stood in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom, inspecting myself. He had decided on a light weight dress that actually felt rather good in the heat, and I smoothed it down, pulling it against me to see how much of my fat it would reveal if a gust of wind were too pick up.

"Oh, you look good." In the reflection, I could see Milo shaking his head at me and sitting back on my bed. "And I don't know why you care so much if you don't even wanna go out."

"If I'm going out a with you and Jane a I need all the help I can get to just look presentable." At the mention of Jane, I realized she wasn't here yet and glanced over at the clock. "She's like ten minutes late. Are you sure she's coming?"

"Alice, it's Jane." He looked at my like I was losing my mind. "She's always late."

"That is true," I sighed, and wondered why I felt so out of sorts.

Besides being vaguely depressed, I was a bit jumpy. Jane was always late, and that had never been any cause for alarm before. I really needed to get out and enjoy myself while I still could, and shake this ridiculous sense of foreboding. It was just high school, and I'd been managed just fine for the past three years. It really wasn't that big of a deal. I needed to just get over it and get over myself.

"Is this the book?" Milo asked, and I glanced back at him. Peter's book had been sitting on my nightstand, and he was flipping through it. "Oh, yeah. It sure is. Huh."

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"What?" I turned to face him completely, wondering that little "huh" was about it. "What book?"

"This book." He held up towards me to see.

"I know what book you're talking about, but what did you mean by 'this' book? How did you even know about it?" I wanted to walk over and s.n.a.t.c.h it from his hands, but that felt inappropriate, so I stayed where I was and fiddled the with hem of my dress.

"It's Peter's book. Jack told me." His voice got softer as he skimmed a page, gradually losing interest in the conversation I was having with him. When I asked what Jack had told him, he didn't even register that I was talking and just kept on reading.

"Milo?" I repeated louder, and when he still didn't look up, I went over and grabbed the book from him. Oddly, I felt better as soon as I was holding, and his brown eyes stared up at me, bewildered and surprised.

"What'd you do that for?" Milo demanded.

"You were ignoring me." Still holding the book, I took a step back from him, finding a peculiar comfort in putting distance between him and the book. I tried to seem nonchalant and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"I asked what Jack said about it."