Joyce of the North Woods Part 46

"No. Oh! No."

"What do you know of this man Gaston, really? Mr. Drew says he is quite different from the people hereabout. You do not even know the true man, his name, nor antecedents. The time may come when he will return to his former life, whatever it was; can you not see how you would--interfere with such a plan? If he left you--what would he leave you to? And if he were one of a thousand and took you with him--what then? In either case it would mean your unhappiness and his--shame."

Joyce winced, and Ruth Dale saw the hands clutch the arms of the chair.

She felt that she was making an impression, and her ardour grew.

"I do not know Gaston," she went on, "but I do know the world; and for women placed as you are, Joyce, there is no alternative. Your very love should urge you to accept the situation, hard as it may seem."

"It does." For a moment the lovely head drooped and the white lids quivered over the pain-filled eyes.

"No matter how--good a man--this Mr. Gaston has been to you--he knew the price you would have to pay some day. He has been either wilfully weak--or worse. A man takes a mean advantage of a woman in all such matters. It is not a question of right or wrong altogether--it isn't fair.

"I have burned over such things ever since I was a girl--I am ready now to prove to you my desire to help you. Will you let me, Joyce?"

"You are very, very good. I can see you are better and kinder than any other woman I ever knew. I believe all that you say is true. If I did not think that, I could not do what I am going to do."

Joyce spoke very quietly, very simply. She was not even confused when she poured out the deepest secrets of her heart. She was worn and spent; loneliness, conflict and soul-torture had torn down all her defenses.

"You are right in all that you have said--but you don't know all!" The flame rose in the pallid face; "but if you did, the truth of what you have said would be all the deeper.

"My love has been a selfish one because I never thought it lay in my power to do anything for--him. I see there is something now that I can do--and I mean to do it so thoroughly that even his goodness cannot prevent. He is so very, very good; oh! if you could only know him as I know him!

"I am--going to my husband, then--that will finish it! But I must tell you something--first."

Joyce caught her breath, and she sat up straight and rigid.

"I suppose in your life you could not believe that a man like Mr. Gaston could be just good to me--and nothing else?"

Woman looked at woman. The world's woman noted the beauty and tender grace of the unworldly woman, and her eyes fell.

"It would be difficult to believe that. I have heard of such cases--I never knew one--and for that very reason of unbelief, it does not greatly matter--the outcome would be the same--for the woman and the man."

"Yes; but they would know, and G.o.d would know; might that not be enough?"

"No. Believe me--it would not be enough."

"Do you believe me when I tell you that, in this case, it is true?"

Again the two held each other in a long challenge. Then:

"Joyce, as G.o.d hears me, I _do_ believe you. Now I am more eager than ever to be your friend."

"You--cannot be mine--but you must be his!"

"His?" Ruth started back.

"Yes. I do know--something of his life. He belonged--to your world. He had a great, a terrible trouble--but through it all he saw the stars, not the mud, and he came out of it--a strong, tender, brave man."

A dull sob shook the low, sweet voice.

"All the shameful sorrow served as a purpose to make him n.o.ble--and splendid; but his soul was sad and hurt. He never blamed any one, though there were others who should have suffered more than he. He just gave himself up to the chance of gaining good out of all the evil. Then he came here--to rest. But he could not help being kind and helpful. He found--me. He taught me, he gave me hope and showed me--how to live. Oh!

you can never understand. You have always had life--I never had it until he took the blindness from me.

"He tried to do the best for me--he wanted me to marry Jude Lauzoon. He tried to make Jude good, too--but that was more than even _he_ could accomplish. Then I'm--afraid I cannot tell you--this it might--soil your soul."

"Go on." Ruth spoke hoa.r.s.ely. She was spellbound and a deathly coldness crept over her.

"Well, Jude dragged all of me down, down, down--all of me but the part that--Mr. Gaston had made. That part clung to him as if he were its G.o.d."

"I see, I see. Go on!"

"It was all low--and evil, that life with Jude, except the poor baby.

That had a soul, too, but the dreadful body could not hold it. It had to go--and oh! I am so glad.

"Then, in all the world, there was nowhere for me to go but--here. I did not mean to fling myself upon him. I came to save him. There was money Jude had--oh! it doesn't matter, but anyway, things happened, and I was left--on Mr. Gaston's mercy.

"I had only one idea of men--then. You see Jude had almost made a beast of me, too." The great eyes shone until they burned into Ruth Dale's brain.

"But Mr. Gaston rose high and far above my low fear and thought. How I hated myself then for daring to judge him by--Jude. No, he made a clean, holy place for me to live in. He saw no other way to help me--perhaps he did not look far enough in the future, it did not matter--but he never came down from his high place except to make me better by his heavenly goodness.

"After a while it grew easy--after I comprehended his thought for me--and we were very happy--just as we might have been had we been brother and sister. I grew to think his own kind would know and understand how impossible it would be for him to be other than what he was; and for what the lower people thought I had no care. I was--just happy!

"But something happened. Perhaps being near such goodness made me a little better; and a great happiness and lack of fear helped--I think I got nearer to his high place. He loved to give me pretty things. He gave me this"--the fumbling fingers touched the yellow gown; "and I suppose I looked--different, and then he saw that I had--changed and--and he--loved me! I know he loved me; women can tell. I could not be wrong about that. You see I had always loved him--and had once hungered so for his love that when it came I could not be deceived.

It--was--that--last--night he told me--about--the past! Then he went away to find Jude--to get Jude to set me free--and we were--going to--be--" the words trailed into a faint moan. "But I see, I see! Even if it had come out right--I'd always be, for all his goodness, old Jared Birkdale's daughter, and Jude Lauzoon's wife. That, he would have to bear and suffer for me--and his world would never forgive him--nor me!

"No; I do love him too well for that. I give him back to his place, and you."

"To me?" And Ruth Dale, haggard and trembling, came slowly around the table, clinging to it for support. When she reached Joyce, she put out cold, groping hands and clutched her by the shoulders.

"You--give him back to me--why? Who is he?"

"John Gaston is--John Dale. It has all come to me so suddenly, I cannot explain, but there is no mistake. I am going to Jude Lauzoon, so that neither you nor he can keep me--from what alone is mine; but be--good to him--or G.o.d will never forgive you! Please go now. I must hurry.

Good-bye."

"Joyce!" Ruth Dale was crouching at her feet.

"I am--so tired." A long sigh broke from Joyce's lips. "Please do not make it harder. It _must_ be; and I have much to do."

"But--there may be some mistake." A horrible fear shook Ruth Dale. Joyce rose and confronted the woman who knelt on the floor.

"Do you believe there is?" she flung the question madly. "Do you?" There was no faltering, only a stern command.

"No," shuddered Ruth Dale.

"Then please, go. My part is all--over! But--be--oh! be heavenly good to him."

Blinded and staggering under the blow, Ruth Dale got to her feet and went from the house. The outer cold steadied her somewhat, but when, a half-hour later, she entered Ralph Drew's study, the man by the fire gazed upon her as if she were a stranger.

"What has happened?" he asked affrightedly, springing to her side.