Take Me If You Dare Part 11

"Nothing." He looked angry for some reason. "I need some coffee. I'm going to find the waiters and see if they can bring some up. I'll only be gone a few minutes. I promise."

Before she could answer, he was through the door leading to the hotel elevator. Something she said had been misconstrued. She thought about her comments and realized he thought she was talking as if they had some kind of future.

Dammit. Jackson. I didn't mean it the way you think.

The wary look in his eyes hadn't been anger-he wanted to escape. How many times had he said he had to move on and that he'd be traveling soon? This was supposed to be a fun weekend with no ties.

The hurt strangled her lungs, until she didn't think she could breathe. Suddenly she felt very alone.

h.e.l.l, there's a good chance he's on his way to Bangkok and out of your life right now.

"If he comes back, I won't mention a word about the future. Please, give me one more night with the man," she said to the heavens. "Please, let him come back. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I need more time."

She sniffled. "Jackson, I need you."

Maybe she was tired. Maybe it was too much sun, but she couldn't stop the tears from spilling over.

JACKSON STARED AT HIMSELF in the copper-colored elevator doors.

Coward.

The second she mentioned anything about the future he'd bolted like a bull with an open gate. It wasn't that he hadn't been thinking the same thing. A future with Mar invaded his thoughts more often than not the last few hours. He'd come to realize that she had become the most important person in his life.

That was the rub.

He couldn't allow himself to think that way. It wasn't a good idea for either of them. Then she made the comment about him taking care of her any time, and he'd panicked. He wanted to be there always to take care of her, to hold on to her and never let go.

When she mentioned future men who would be compared to him, he'd almost come unglued. He wanted to grab her right then and tell her that no other man would ever touch her. That he was the only man for her.

The feeling was so strong it freaked him out. He'd never felt so possessive about anyone, h.e.l.l, anything. The idea that she would share those pa.s.sionate kisses and her gorgeous body with some other man sent his mind and body into turmoil.

Jackson was determined to be the only man she would ever need.

That's not going to happen.

For one millisecond he considered telling her the truth. Explaining why he couldn't be around much longer-a.s.sa.s.sins could be around any corner. He'd be lucky if he lived through the next weekend.

He knew he wouldn't.

Stop being a desperate loser. The last thing she needs to know is your secrets. Then you really will get her killed.

Jackson found the maitre d' at the restaurant, who had arranged the special dinner upstairs. "Would it be possible to have coffee sent up?"

"Yes, sir." The man took the money Jackson offered.

"If you don't mind. Give us about twenty minutes." Jackson would need to come up with some plausible explanation for why he acted like such an idiot. Mar hadn't meant anything by talking about the future. She only wanted to show her appreciation.

The maitre d' nodded. "Of course. Would you also like a dessert tray?"

The idea of food turned Jackson's stomach, but he knew how much Mar loved sweets. "Sure. Whatever you think works. But twenty minutes, okay?" Jackson turned.

"Did she like it?" the man asked.

Jackson gave him a confused look.

"Your wife? Did she enjoy the meal?" His wife?

Why didn't that scare the h.e.l.l out of him like it should?

Because you care about her, idiot.

He'd been a jerk to leave her like that.

"She loved it. Thanks." Jackson walked quickly to the elevator, berating himself as it climbed the eight floors to the rooftop.

In his life he'd seen so much violence and corruption, but nothing had ever prepared him for what he viewed when he opened the door and stepped out onto the rooftop. Mar was sitting at the table wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Her sobs intensified and her shoulders shook. Her face was hidden from him and finally he pulled her hands away so that he could see her.

"Tell me." He whispered the words, brus.h.i.+ng her hair away from her tear-streaked face. She hiccupped.

"I'm sorry I left like that. The coffee will be here in a bit. I should have just called down."

Mar put her hand on his heart. "Jackson." The word came out on a shudder. "I don't need coffee. I need you."

The words. .h.i.t him like a sucker punch to the gut. No one had ever needed him. No one he'd ever cared about had said those words to him. He kissed her head. "I'm here, baby. Tell me what's wrong."

She sat up a little straighter and he handed her a tissue from the side table. "It's silly. I-I thought you left. You ran out of here so fast when I accidentally mentioned the future, and I thought I spooked you. I promise you, I'm not expecting anything past this weekend. But I'm not ready for it to be over yet. I-I didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye."

The last part of the wall around his heart fell away. She cared for him as much as he did her. The practical side of him knew he'd soon have no choice but to leave, but not right now.

"Babe, why would you think that?" He touched her chin with his finger. "I would never leave without saying goodbye to you."

Mar blotted her nose with the tissue. "But when you left-you had this really weird look on your face. You can't fool me. Something I said freaked you out."

Her breath hitched and she coughed a little. "I don't have any desire to leave you, Mar." That part was true. "But-there is something you should know. I-will have to leave soon. You know as well as I do that neither of us is safe as long as we stay in Thailand. I guess when you said something about the future it made me think that we really don't have much more time together."

"You're a really good liar, Jackson. But you forget I do have one talent besides my awesome surfing skills. I can read people."

Jackson dragged his chair next to hers and held her hand. She definitely had acquired that talent. Still, he didn't want to discuss it right then. "Mar, let's enjoy the night. You have your moon and your stars."

She took her hand back and stood to face him. "No. I need to say this to you now because I don't know when you're going to leave," she demanded. "And I'm sorry if it scares you, but I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for you to go." Her voice trembled. "Mar, honey."

She held up a hand and took a settling breath. "You-you made me care, and that's a good thing in so many ways. I'd reached a point where the only thing that brought me any joy was work. I didn't feel like I fit in with the rest of the world. I know it's crazy, and I expect nothing from you, but I feel like I fit when you're around."

When she put her hand on his cheek he shattered into a million pieces. The confession was the single most intimate moment anyone had ever shared with him. He put his hand over hers and pulled it against his heart.

"I'm going to be more honest than I should. I want to promise you forever after, Mar, more than anything in the world. But I'm not in a place where I can do that. My life is complicated right now, and I honestly never know what the new day will bring."

He stopped, choosing his words carefully. "These few days with you have been the most amazing in my life. I don't have a clue what my future holds, but I will cherish this time we have. And I care about you. When I do have to leave, it will be with a heavy heart. I promise you." Jackson had no idea where all that had come from, but it surprised him that he meant it all. He'd become so used to lying to get out of situations that he was surprised by how good speaking the truth felt.

"That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." She wiped her eyes again. "There's one thing I have to know before we go any further with this. I'd appreciate if you'd be honest. It won't change how I feel about you, but it is something that I have to know."

"I'll tell you if I can." Jackson worried. What if she asked about something concerning his job? He wouldn't lie to her unless he had to. She deserved answers if he could give them to her.

"Are you married?"

Jackson was caught so off guard that he burst out laughing harder than he had in a long time.

Mar gave him a stern look. "I don't think it's that funny."

"You are precious." He left his chair and kissed her cheeks, nose and lips before he answered her. "No, I am not married. I've never been married. And I'm not the kind of guy who would sleep with you if I were." Happy that he could be honest, he pulled her close again.

"Whew. I didn't think so. I mean I may not be that great a detective but I hadn't noticed a ring. Though a lot of guys don't wear them. But I wasn't super excited about being the other woman."

Jackson moved her hair behind her ear. "You are the only woman." Then he kissed her, tasting her as if it were the first time.

Mar's arms curled around his neck, her tongue slipped around his and he knew she wanted him as much as he did her. Then he remembered. Jackson drew back. "Honey, we can't. The coffee is on the way."

Her face scrunched and he could see the wheels turning. She wasn't one to give up easily when she wanted something. He needed a diversion.

Jackson gave her a quick smile. "Dance with me, Mar. Please."

They moved in each other's arms as if they'd been doing it for years. Holding her in that moment would be burned into his brain for eternity. h.e.l.l, the last few days really would be ones he would never forget.

He might have been conflicted about what was best for her, but he'd do anything to protect her. Even though he knew that meant leaving her as soon as possible. "No matter what the future holds," he whispered against her hair, "you know I only want what is best for you."

"I know." She gave him the most alluring smile he'd ever seen. "You're my white knight in board shorts." She winked at him, and solidified her place in his heart.

15.

THE DAY HAD TAKEN A toll on Mar, and Jackson watched as she slept, waiting until she was deep under before slipping out of the bed. A strange noise in the armoire had him wandering toward it. He discovered the culprit in Mar's purse. Her phone's battery had died. She'd probably forgotten all about it. He found her charger and plugged it in, noticing as he did she had twenty new text messages.

He shouldn't have, but he pushed the b.u.t.tons so he could read them. Most of the urgent missives were from her friends Chi and another investigator, Katie, at the agency, telling Mar that Jackson Thomas did not exist. Mr. Thomas, the man who was supposed to help her in Bangkok, was an elderly Asian man with six children.

That she had asked them to check him out didn't surprise Jackson. She would have been an idiot not to tell her friends she was going off with a stranger. He was grateful that they cared enough about her to make sure she was safe.

He'd tossed the messages from the front desk in the trash, but Jackson knew they would continue to worry if she didn't answer. He also didn't have any desire to deal with the truth right then. They'd already tried sending messages through the hotel, next they'd be sending the authorities if they hadn't already.

He couldn't let that happen.

He texted them both back pretending to be Mar.

Having the time of my life. I know all about Jackson, he came clean. Only checking the phone every few days. Don't worry. See you soon.

He wasn't sure it was possible for him to feel guiltier, but he did.

He only had one more day with her. Then he'd leave and she'd never have to know the truth about him. Oh, she would be upset, even more so when she found out that he'd tricked her. But no one would be able to take this time they had away from either of them.

He couldn't risk her finding the messages so he turned the phone off and hid it in his things. Before he left, he'd make sure it was in place where she could find it.

Taking her computer from his bag, he put it down on the table by the windows.

Opening the laptop, he checked for messages from Dawson or Pete. His jaw tightened as he thought about what Dawson had done to him. He wondered if maybe he should go to London. Now that he knew about the other man's deception, he could set a trap of his own and settle this once and for all.

h.e.l.l, he'd been accused of treason thanks to the a.s.s. The anger boiled inside of him, and Jackson had to force himself to calm down. While his hands around Dawson's neck seemed the most logical solution, there were too many variables. Unfortunately, he couldn't know for sure how much Pete really understood about what had happened. There was a slight chance Dawson's actions had been misinterpreted, but Jackson doubted it.

London, h.e.l.l, Europe in general wasn't a safe place for someone in his predicament. He had a kill order hanging over his head, and operatives from agencies all over the world would take advantage of it.

There wasn't a person in the world he could trust.

Jackson was more determined than ever to find a way back to Langley. It seemed his only option. Funny how a few days could change everything.

h.e.l.l, funny how Mar had changed everything. She gave him the will to live. To fight for whatever life he could possibly have. If he could make it to Virginia, that if being a big one, he'd at least find out the truth about why they burned him.

Well, Dawson had something to do with it, but he still didn't understand how he'd been set up, or even what the Company knew. Pete might have discovered Dawson was crooked, but that didn't mean anyone else had the information. Pete liked to play things close to the vest, and he wouldn't go to his superiors until he had proof.

Jackson's biggest worry was that someone would kill him before he had the chance to explain to the bosses what had happened, or at least his version of it.

The wind picked up outside, but nothing matched the fury Jackson felt. His stomach roiled as his mind raced to find an answer. If he desired any kind of future with her, there was only one thing he could do.

After finding the Web site he needed, he did something so desperate he had to push Send before he thought about it too much. He posted an ad, one the Company could decipher.

WRAPPED IN A ROBE FROM the hotel, Mar watched as the sun rose over the horizon. Jackson sat beside her. Both of them held steaming cups of coffee. Everything smelled fresh this morning, as if the ocean tide had wiped away any trace of the day before.

It was a new beginning.

Unfortunately for Mar, it felt like the end. Jackson had been so attentive, waking her so they could see the sunrise. That didn't seem so strange, but when he asked if she had an interest in snorkeling or checking out the village nearby, she knew something was up. Jackson was not the sightseeing type.

"We can do whatever you want," he told her. "The pond where we can snorkel is on the other side of the resort. We can take a small golf cart, and I'm told the fish are amazing. Oh, and I have it on good authority that there are absolutely no sharks." He'd prattled on planning out their adventures and that's how she knew.

It's our last day together.

As she sipped the coffee, she tried not to contemplate what that meant. Oh, he cared about her, but he'd said his life was complicated. If he was in trouble she might be able to help. It wasn't as if she didn't have some incredible resources.

Mar drew her knees up to her chin, and covered them with the robe. Blinking back tears, she was grateful she'd pulled on her sungla.s.ses to hide some of her pain.

She wouldn't dwell on the end. The time she had was precious and she wouldn't waste it on could-haves or would-haves.