War's Brighter Side Part 11

Alas! none of these things has this poor army--so poor in wit and literary talent, however rich it be in courage, patience, dogged persistence and proud victories.

This army is like a sponge for taking what entertainment the sweating editors of THE FRIEND will give it. It is like a barnacle for fastening itself upon us and fattening its dead weight upon this little literary bark. It is like a horse behind our waggon, which was built, like most vehicles, to have its horses in front. It is like the veldt around us in its capacity to swallow any amount of refres.h.i.+ng rain and yet appear as dry in four hours afterwards as if it were the pavement of that place which can only be referred to by the use of one particular anecdote, which is as follows:--

"If I owned Satandom and South Africa," said a Canadian Tommy at Modder River, "I would rent out South Africa and live in Satandom."

But we nearly digressed--a sin unpardonable in an article so important as this, written hot upon the impulse of suffering and keen feeling.

The committee of war correspondents with Lord Roberts' army, who undertook to conduct, for the first time in history, a full-fledged complete daily newspaper published in an enemy's capital two days after the conquest thereof, are all busy men in their own line of industry. They have constant daily work to do, they are trusted by their own newspapers to devote their whole talents and energies to the interests of the public at home. Nevertheless they have turned aside to conduct this newspaper, they are doing so, and will continue to do so to the day the army pushes on and away.

But in undertaking this task their idea was that they merely had to start the paper and give it a momentum, after which the army would turn to and flood the editorial sanctum with tales of humour, wit, and prowess writ upon sheets numberless as the leaves of Vallambrosa.

The reader will gather that this has not yet taken place. He will infer that the war correspondents are, like the last rose of summer, left blooming to ourselves. True, two or three generous and gifted souls in the army have come n.o.bly into the breach with contributions; but the breach is nine columns wide--nine columns that persist in emptying themselves as fast as we fill them; in fact, nine columns which become fifty-four columns between each Monday and the succeeding Sat.u.r.day. It is on this account that when the two or three generous and talented army men flung themselves in the breach, the breach was not aware of the fact--and we have not had the heart to wake it up and notify it that it was being filled, not caring to tell a falsehood even to a silly breach.

Come, then, ye gentles and geniuses, ye poets, ye anecdotists, ye thrillers and movers with the pen--join our staff, and put your mighty little ink-damped levers to the rock that we are rolling up the gigantic kopje of your thirst for news and entertainment. Your pay shall be the highest ever meted out to man--the satisfaction of souls content. Your company shall include a Kipling. Your readers shall be the bravest, n.o.blest, proudest soldiers who ever served an earthly race.

You can ask no more. You can ask nothing else.

But in the meantime we want "copy."

We published also a brief communication respecting the Dutch name Stellenbosch. This needs a word of explanation. It had long been noticed that whenever an officer was prominently connected with a losing battle, or exhibited marked incompetence in any field of military work, he got a billet at Stellenbosch, a bowery village deep down in the Cape Colony, where was established our base camp of supplies. The name therefore attained a deep significance and common usage in the army, and to say that a man had been "Stellenbosched" was but the ordinary polite mode of mentioning what might otherwise have had to be said in many harsher-sounding words.

THE FRIEND.

(_Edited by the War Correspondents with Lord Roberts' Force._)

BLOEMFONTEIN, FRIDAY, MARCH 22, 1900.

PROCLAMATION.

Whereas it is considered necessary in the interests of the Orange Free State, and until arrangements may be made, that the provisions of the Customs Convention existing between the said State and the Colony of the Cape of Good Hope, and the Colony of Natal, shall be duly observed, and the Laws and Regulations appertaining thereto shall be enforced as soon as communication between the said Colonies and such portions of the Orange Free State as have been or may hereafter be occupied by Her Majesty's troops is restored, and the customary commercial relations are resumed; and whereas it is expedient that the necessary officers for the control and management of the Customs Department of the Orange Free State shall be appointed,

NOW THEREFORE

I, FREDERICK SLEIGH BARON ROBERTS OF KHANDAHAR, K.P., G.C.B., G.C.S.I., G.C.I.E., V.C., Field Marshal, Commanding-in-Chief of the British Forces in South Africa, do hereby nominate and appoint the following officers, to wit:--

_Collector of Customs_--Johannes Henricus Meiring.

_First Clerk_--Albert C. Woodward.

_Second Clerk_--Frederik Blignaut.

A WARNING TO NATIVES.

EXEMPLARY SENTENCES.

It is evident from the sentences inflicted by the Provost Marshal that the military authorities are wisely determined to repress all forms of lawlessness and unruliness on the part of native boys with a firm hand. Take the following three cases by way of ill.u.s.tration:--

No. 1. Boy: 28 lashes for resisting Military Police in discharge of their duty while arresting him.

No. 2. Two Boys: 25 lashes each for being drunk and fighting.

No. 3. 27 Boys: 5 lashes each for being disorderly and having no pa.s.s after 9 o'clock.

At the conclusion of the above cases of the day the Provost Marshal called the native police before him and complimented them on the good work they had done.

When the British entered Bloemfontein there was general rejoicing in the native "location," but it is impossible to insist too plainly that the clemency of British rule will not extend to violent, drunken, and disorderly persons, whether they be white or black.

ARMY ORDERS, SOUTH AFRICA.

ARMY HEADQUARTERS, GOVERNMENT HOUSE, BLOEMFONTEIN, _March 20, 1900_.

1. _Death of Commander-in-Chief in India._

It is with deep regret that the Field Marshal, Commanding-in-Chief, announces to the Army in South Africa the death of His Excellency Sir W. S. A. Lockhart, G.C.B., K.C.S.I., Commander-in-Chief in India, which occurred at Calcutta on the evening of the 18th of March, 1900.

Lord Roberts is sure that his own feelings will be shared by every Officer and Soldier who has served under Sir William Lockhart's command, and more particularly by those who have been personally acquainted with him.

After a long and varied Military career, which began in Abyssinia, time of the Mutiny, and which included war service in Acheen, Afghanistan, Burma, The Black Mountain, Wazeristan, Isazai, and finally the command of the Tirah Expeditionary Force, Sir William Lockhart was appointed to the Chief Command in India. Possessed of exceptional ability, he distinguished himself alike as a Staff Officer and as a commander in the field, and by his uniform kindness and consideration he endeared himself to all who came in contact with him.

In the late Commander-in-Chief the Soldiers in India, both British and Native, have lost a friend whose only thought was to further their interests and promote their welfare, and the Indian Empire has lost a trusted Counsellor who, on account of his intimate knowledge of the Native races, and his acquaintance with Eastern affairs, cannot soon or easily be replaced.

2. _Amendment._

With reference to Army Order No. 5 (b) of 4th March, for Captain R. H.

Hall read Captain R. H. Hare.

3. _Telegrams._

The Field Marshal Commanding-in-Chief has great pleasure in publis.h.i.+ng the following telegram which has been received:--

From Sirdar Khan, Bahadur Casim, Haji Mahomed Khansahib, Kazi Mahommed Ali Murshaj. Bombay Mahomedans offer your Lords.h.i.+p, your gallant Officers and Soldiers hearty congratulations on brilliant success Transvaal, and pray Almighty crown efforts greater success and honours.

By order, W. KELLY, M. General, D. A. General.

THE WEARY TREK.

Trek, trek, trek, On the wild South African veldt, With anthills here and anthills there And holes and ruts, you're inclined to swear, For your mokes will religiously take you o'er These impediments by the score, But you trek, trek, trek.

Trek, trek, trek, With a heart as heavy as lead, For the comrades who have bit the dust Whilst fighting for a cause that's just, With bootless feet and clothing torn, From chilly night to dewy morn You trek, trek, trek.

Trek, trek, trek, There's nothing to do but trek, While your mules half starved and done to death, And yourself ditto and out of breath, You wish to Heaven the war was o'er And you say sweet (?) things of the cunning Boer, But you trek, trek, trek.