The Trial; Or, More Links of the Daisy Chain Part 45

'Nay, Averil, could not you recover it if I were dying now of sickness?

I know you would, though you might not think so at the time. Believe me, then, when I say that I am quite willing to have it as it is--to be my own man to the last--to meet with such precious inestimable kindness from so many. Of course I should like to live longer, and do something worth doing; but if I am to die young, there is so much blessing even in this way, that nothing really grieves me but the thought of you and Henry; and if it makes you one together, even that is made up.'

Awe-struck, and as if dreaming, she did not answer, only smoothing caressingly the long waves of bright brown hair on his forehead. She was surprised by his next question.

'Ave! how has Mrs. Pugh behaved?'

'Oh! the woman! I have hardly thought of her! She has been very active about the pet.i.tion, somebody said; but I don't believe Henry can bear to hear of her any more than I can. What made you think of her?'

'Because I wanted to know how it was with Henry, and I could not ask him. Poor fellow! Well, Ave, you see he will depend on you entirely for comfort, and you must promise me that shall be your great business and care.'

'How you do think of Henry!' she said, half jealously.

'Of course, Ave. You and I have no past to grieve over together, but poor Henry will never feel free of having left me to my self-willed obstinacy, and let me go to that place. Besides, the disgrace in the sight of the world touches him more, and you can tread that down more easily than he.' Then, in answer to a wondering look, 'Yes, you can, when you recollect that it is crime, not the appearance of it, that is shame. I do not mean that I do not deserve all this--but--but--' and his eye glistened, 'Ave, dear, if I could only bring out the words to tell you how much peace and joy there is in knowing that--with that vast difference--it is like in some degree what was borne to save us, I really don't think you could go on grieving over me any more; at least not more than for the loss,' he added, tenderly; 'and you'll not miss me so much in a new country, you know, with Henry and the children to take care of. Only promise me to be kind to Henry.'

And having drawn forth a faint promise, that he knew would have more force by and by, Leonard went on, in his low quiet voice, into reminiscences that sounded like random, of the happy days of childhood and early youth, sometimes almost laughing over them, sometimes linking his memory as it were to tune or flower, sport or study, but always for joy, and never for pain; and thus pa.s.sed the time, with long intervals of silent thought and recollection on his part, and of a sort of dreamy stupor on his sister's, during which the strange peaceful hush seemed to have taken away her power of recalling the bitter complaints of cruel injustice, and the broken-hearted lamentations she had imagined herself pouring out in sympathy with her victim brother. Instead of being wrung with anguish, her heart was lulled and quelled by wondering reverence; and she seemed to herself scarcely awake, and only dimly conscious of the pale-cheeked bright-eyed face upturned to her, so calm and undaunted, yet so full of awe and love, the low steady tender voice, and the warm upholding arm.

A great clock struck, and Leonard said, 'There! they were to come at four, and then the chaplain is coming. He is grown so very kind now!

Ave, if they would let you be with me at my last Communion! Will you?

Could you bear it? I think then you would know all the peace of it!'

'Oh, yes! make them let me come.'

'Then it is not good-bye,' he said, as he fetched her bonnet and cloak, and put them on with tender hands, as if she were a child, in readiness as steps approached, and her escort reappeared.

'Here she is, Henry,' he said, with a smile. 'She has been very good; she may come again.' And then, holding her in his arms once more, he resigned her to Henry, saying, 'Not good-bye, Ave; we will keep my birthday together.'

CHAPTER XVI

The captives went To their own places, to their separate glooms, Uncheered by glance, or hand, or hope, to brood On those impossible glories of the past, When they might touch the gra.s.s, and see the sky, And do the works of men. But manly work Is sometimes in a prison.--S. M. Queen Isabel

'Commutation of punishment, to penal servitude for life.'

Such were the tidings that ran through Stoneborough on Sunday morning, making all feel as if a heavy oppression had been taken from the air.

In grat.i.tude to the merciful authorities, and thankfulness for the exemption from death, the first impressions were that Justice was at last speaking, that innocence could not suffer, and that right was rea.s.serting itself. Even when the more sober and sad remembered that leniency was not pardon, nor life liberty, they were hastily answered that life was everything--life was hope, life was time, and time would show truth.

Averil's first tears dropped freely, as she laid her head on Mary's shoulder, and with her hand in Dr. May's, essayed to utter the words, 'It is your doing--you have twice saved him for me,' and Minna stood calmly glad, but without surprise. 'I knew they could not hurt him; G.o.d would not let them.'

The joy and relief were so great as to absorb all thought or realization of what this mercy was to the prisoner himself, until Dr.

May was able to pay him a visit on Monday afternoon. It was at a moment when the first effects of the tidings of life had subsided, and there had been time to look forth on the future with a spirit more steadfast than buoyant. The strain of the previous weeks was reacting on the bodily frame, and indisposition unhinged the spirits; so that, when Dr. May entered, beaming with congratulations, he was met with the same patient glance of endurance, endeavouring at resignation, that he knew so well, but without the victorious peace that had of late gained the ascendant expression. There was instead an almost painful endeavour to manifest grat.i.tude by cheerfulness, and the smile was far less natural than those of the last interview, as fervently returning the pressure of the hand, he said, 'You were right, Dr. May, you have brought me past the crisis.'

'A sure sign of ultimate recovery, my boy. Remember, dum spiro spero.'

Leonard attempted a responsive smile, but it was a hopeless business.

From the moment when at the inquest he found himself entangled in the meshes of circ.u.mstance, his mind had braced itself to endure rather than hope, and his present depressed state, both mental and bodily, rendered even that endurance almost beyond his powers. He could only say, 'You have been very good to me.'

'My dear fellow, you are sadly knocked down; I wish--' and the Doctor looked at him anxiously.

'I wish you had been here yesterday,' said Leonard; 'then you would not have found me so. No, not thankless, indeed!'

'No, indeed; but--yes, I see it was folly--nay, harshness, to expect you to be glad of what lies before you, my poor boy.'

'I am--am thankful,' said Leonard, struggling to make the words truth.

'Wednesday is off my mind--yes, it is more than I deserve--I knew I was not fit to die, and those at home are spared. But I am as much cut off from them--perhaps more--than by death. And it is the same disgrace to them, the same exile. I suppose Henry still goes--'

'Yes, he does.'

'Ah! then one thing, Dr. May--if you had a knife or scissors--I do not know how soon they may cut my hair, and I want to secure a bit for poor Ave.'

Dr. May was too handless to have implements of the first order, but a knife he had, and was rather dismayed at Leonard's reckless hacking at his bright s.h.i.+ning wavy hair, pulling out more than he cut, with perfect indifference to the pain. The Doctor stroked the chestnut head as tenderly as if it had been Gertrude's sunny curls, but Leonard started aside, and das.h.i.+ng away the tears that were overflowing his eyes under the influence of the gentle action, asked vigorously, 'Have you heard what they will do with me?'

'I do not know thoroughly. A year or six months maybe at one of the great model establishments, then probably you will be sent to some of the public works,' said the Doctor, sadly. 'Yes, it is a small boon to give you life, and take away all that makes life happy.'

'If it were only transportation!'

'Yes. In a new world you could live it down, and begin afresh. And even here, Leonard, I look to finding you like Joseph in his prison.'

'The iron entering into his soul!' said Leonard, with a mournful smile.

'No; in the trustworthiness that made him honoured and blessed even there. Leonard, Leonard, conduct _will_ tell. Even there, you can live this down, and will!'

'Eighteen to-morrow,' replied the boy. 'Fifty years of it, perhaps! I know G.o.d can help me through with it, but it is a long time to be patient!'

By way of answer, the Doctor launched into brilliant auguries of the impression the prisoner's conduct would produce, uttering a.s.surances, highly extravagant in his Wors.h.i.+p the Mayor, of the charms of the modern system of prison discipline, but they fell flat; there could be no disguising that penal servitude for life was penal servitude for life, and might well be bitterer than death itself. Sympathy might indeed be balm to the captive, but the good Doctor pierced his own breast to afford it, so that his heart sank even more than when he had left the young man under sentence of death. His least unavailing consolations were his own promises of frequent visits, and Aubrey's of correspondence, but they produced more of dejected grat.i.tude than of exhilaration. Yet it was not in the way of murmur or repining, but rather of 'suffering and being strong,' and only to this one friend was the suffering permitted to be apparent. To all the officials he was simply submissive and gravely resolute; impa.s.sive if he encountered sharpness or sternness, but alert and grateful towards kindliness, of which he met more and more as the difference between dealing with him and the ordinary prisoners made itself felt.

To Dr. May alone was the depth of pain betrayed; but another comforter proved more efficient in cheering the prisoner, namely, Mr. Wilmot, who, learning from the Doctor the depression of their young friend, hastened to endeavour at imparting a new spring of life on this melancholy birthday. Physically, the boy was better, and perhaps the new day had worn off somewhat of the burthen of antic.i.p.ation, for Mr.

Wilmot found him already less downcast, and open to consolation. It might be, too, that the sense that the present was to have been his last day upon earth, had made him more conscious of the relief from the immediate shadow of death, for he expressed his thankfulness far more freely and without the effort of the previous day.

'And, depend on it,' said Mr. Wilmot, 'you are spared because there is something for you to do.'

'To bear,' said Leonard.

'No, to do. Perhaps not immediately; but try to look on whatever you have to bear, not only as carrying the cross, as I think you already feel it--'

'Or there would be no standing it at all.'

'True,' said Mr. Wilmot; 'and your so feeling it convinces me the more that whatever may follow is likewise to be looked upon as discipline to train you for something beyond. Who knows what work may be in store, for which this fiery trial may be meant to prepare you?'

The head was raised, and the eyes brightened with something like hope in their fixed interrogative glance.

'Even as things are now, who knows what good may be done by the presence of a man educated, religious, unstained by crime, yet in the same case as those around him? I do not mean by quitting your natural place, but by merely living as you must live. You were willing to have followed your Master in His death. You now have to follow Him by living as one under punishment; and be sure it is for some purpose for others as well as yourself.'

'If there is any work to be done for Him, it is all right,' said Leonard, cheerily; and as Mr. Wilmot paused, he added, 'It would be like working for a friend--if I may dare say so--after the hours when this place has been made happy to me. I should not mind anything if I might only feel it working for Him.'

'Feel it. Be certain of it. As you have realized the support of that Friend in a way that is hardly granted, save in great troubles, so now realize that every task is for Him. Do not look on the labour as hards.h.i.+p inflicted by mistaken authority--'