Games For All Occasions - BestLightNovel.com
You’re reading novel Games For All Occasions Part 8 online at BestLightNovel.com. Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit BestLightNovel.com. Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy
When are we all artists?--When we draw a long face.
Why are watch-dogs bigger by night than by day?--Because they are let out at night and taken in in the morning.
When is a tradesman always above his business?--When he lives over his shop.
Which is the liveliest city in the world?--Berlin; because it's always on the Spree.
Why is a water-lily like a whale?--Because they both come to the surface to blow.
Why is a shoemaker the most industrious of men?--Because he works to the last.
What is book-keeping?--Forgetting to return borrowed volumes.
Why is scooping out a turnip a noisy process?--Because it makes it hollow.
Why are teeth like verbs?--Because they are regular, irregular, and defective.
What s.h.i.+ps hardly ever sail out of sight?--Hards.h.i.+ps.
When is an artist a dangerous person?--When his designs are bad.
Why are tortoisesh.e.l.l-combs like citadels?--They are for-tresses.
Why is the Isthmus of Suez like the first "u" in cuc.u.mber?--Because it is between two "c's" (seas).
What motive led to the invention of railroads?--The locomotive.
Why are deaf people like Dutch cheeses?--Because you can't make them here.
When is the best time to get a fresh egg at sea?--When the s.h.i.+p lays to.
Who was the first whistler?--The wind.
What tune did he whistle?--Over the hills and far away.
Why need a traveller never starve in the desert?--Because of the sand which is (sandwiches) there.
Why is sympathy like blindman's-buff?--Because it is a fellow feeling for a fellow creature.
If a Frenchman were to fall into a tub of tallow, in what word would he express his situation?--In-de-fat-i-gabble. (Indefatigable.)
Why is a diner on board a steam-boat like Easter Day?--Because it is a movable feast.
Why is a little man like a good book?--Because he is often looked over.
Why is a pig in a parlor like a house on fire?--Because the sooner it is put out the better.
What is the difference between a soldier and a bombsh.e.l.l?--One goes to war, the other goes to pieces.
Why is it dangerous to sleep in a train?--Because every train runs over all the sleepers on the line.
Spell "enemy" in three letters?--F O E.
Which is the only way that a leopard can change his spots?--By going from one spot to another.
Why did Eve never fear the measles?--Because she'd Adam.
When is a tall man a little short?--When he hasn't got quite enough cash.
What houses are the easiest to break into?--The houses of bald people; because their locks are few.
Why is a watch the most difficult thing to steal?--Because it must be taken off its guard.
Why is there never anybody at home in a convent?--Because it is an (n)uninhabited place.
Why does a person who is not good-looking make a better carpenter than one who is?--Because he is a deal plainer.
What is the best tree for preserving order?--The birch.
Why is shoemaking the easiest of trades?--Because the boots are always soled before they are made.
What plant stands for No. 4?--IV.
How can a gardener become thrifty?--By making the most of his thyme, and by always putting some celery in the bank.
Why is it probable that beer was made in the Ark?--Because the kangaroo went in with hops, and the bear was always bruin.
"What was the biggest thing you saw at the World's Fair?" asked a wife of her husband.--"My hotel bill!" said he.
Why is C like a schoolmistress?--Because it forms la.s.ses into cla.s.ses.
What is that which never asks any questions and yet requires many answers?--The street-door.
If a man b.u.mped his head against the top of a room, what article of stationery would he be supplied with?--Ceiling whacks.
(Sealing-wax.)
Which is the longest word in the English language?--Smiles; because there is a mile between the first and last letters.
Which is the oldest tree in England?--The Elder Tree.
How many sides are there to a tree?--Two, inside and out.
What is that which happens twice in a moment and not once in a thousand years?--The letter M.
What sea would a man most like to be in on a wet day?--A dry attic.
(Adriatic.)
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge?--Because it must be ground before it is used.
