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MISS SILLERTON. Mrs. Hunter went to the most expensive decorator in town, and told him, no matter what it cost, to go ahead and do his _worst_!
[_They all laugh and seat themselves comfortably._
TROTTER. Say! The youngest daughter is a good looker--very cla.s.sy.
MISS SILLERTON. That's the one we told you about, the one we want you to marry.
MISS G.o.dESBY. Yes, with your money and her cleverness, she'll rubber neck you into the smartest push in town!
TROTTER. You've promised I shall know the whole cla.s.sy lot before spring.
MISS G.o.dESBY. So you will if you do as we tell you. But you mustn't let society see that you _know_ you're getting in; nothing pleases society so much as to think you're a blatant idiot. It makes everybody feel you're their equal--that's why you get in.
TROTTER. I've got a coach and can drive four-in-hand. I've an automobile drag, and the biggest private yacht in the world building. I'm going to have the most expensive house in Long Island, where the oysters come from, and I've bought a lot in Newport twice as big as the swellest fellow's there. I've got a house in London and a flat in Paris, and I make money fly. I think I ought to be a cinch as a cla.s.sy success.
MISS G.o.dESBY. Don't be a yap; flag Clara Hunter and you're all right!
MISS SILLERTON. Her father's position was the best in this country!
TROTTER. But he's dead.
[_Sitting._
MISS G.o.dESBY. A good thing for you, for he would never have stood for you!
TROTTER. He'd have had to--or do without me as a son-in-law--I wouldn't marry the Venus of Milo if her father didn't think I was good enough.
I'm no Dodo bird!
MISS G.o.dESBY. It's up to you now, Trotter! Go in and win.
[_Enter_ TOMPSON _Right; a decided change takes place in all their manners._
TOMPSON. Madam will be down at once, miss.
MISS SILLERTON. Thank you.
[TOMPSON _goes out Right._
MISS G.o.dESBY. Only stay a minute or two, Trotty--we're doing our best for you, but we must look out for ourselves, too, and we've come here to-day on business.
MISS SILLERTON. How'll we ever get the subject on to clothes?
MISS G.o.dESBY. Humph! Do you think you can talk five minutes with Mrs.
Hunter and not hit that topic? It's a bull's eye!
TROTTER. I don't see where I'm going to come into this cla.s.sy conversation.
MISS G.o.dESBY. You see, Trotty, they brought over piles of clothes from Europe this year, and we want to get hold of them before any one else has a chance--get 'em cheap before they have an idea anybody else'll buy them.
TROTTER. Who buy what?
MISS SILLERTON. _We_--buy their winter clothes.
TROTTER. For Heaven's sake!
MISS G.o.dESBY. Laugh, you silly! I heard the Reed girls planning to come to-morrow. They didn't dare come to-day. Those girls haven't any sand!
They're always getting left.
TROTTER. You two _are_ Dodo birds!
MISS G.o.dESBY. I say, Eleanor, you're such a lobster about prices and Mrs. Hunter's no idiot, we'd better agree on some sort of a signal!
Listen! if you like a gown very much, ask the price, then say to me, "My dear, your hat pin is coming out." And if I think it's a bargain, I'll say, "So it is, thank you; won't you put it in for me?" And if I think Mrs. Hunter's trying to stick you, I'll say "No, it isn't; it's always like that."
MISS SILLERTON. All right.
[MRS. HUNTER _and_ CLARA _enter Right. The manner of_ MISS SILLERTON _and_ MISS G.o.dESBY _changes immediately. They speak with rather subdued voices, in the tone of conventional sympathy which is usually adopted on such occasions._ MRS. HUNTER _also a.s.sumes the manner of a martyr to grief._ CLARA _is casual and hard._
MISS SILLERTON. [_Shakes hands with_ MRS. HUNTER.] Dear Mrs. Hunter.
[_She kisses her._
Clara, dear.
[_She kisses her._
[MISS G.o.dESBY _goes to_ MRS. HUNTER _and shakes hands while_ MISS SILLERTON _crosses to_ CLARA; _Trotter shakes hands with_ MRS. HUNTER _as_ MISS G.o.dESBY _goes to_ CLARA.
TROTTER. I hope you don't think my coming an intrusion.
MRS. HUNTER. Not at all.
MISS G.o.dESBY. I felt we must stop in for a few minutes to give you our love and sympathy and find out how you are.
MRS. HUNTER. I've been through a terrible strain. My loss is even greater than I could ever possibly imagine.
CLARA. [_Who misinterprets her mother's remark._] Yes, indeed, I should say it was!
[MRS. HUNTER _stops her with a warning look._
MRS. HUNTER. But every one has been most kind. _Lady Hopeton_ sent me a beautiful long letter to-day.
MISS G.o.dESBY. And I'm glad to find you looking so well. Black _suits_ you!
[_She exchanges a knowing glance with_ MISS SILLERTON.
MRS. HUNTER. Oh, I don't know, Julia; I've always thought black very _trying_ for me.
MISS G.o.dESBY. Oh, _no! every one's_ saying _just_ the reverse!