Hardcore Zen : punk rock, monster movies and the truth about reality Part 6

Our understanding of time is just plain wrong-and that misunderstanding leads us to believe that we could could reincarnate, that we reincarnate, that we could could live again after we die, that we live again after we die, that we could could go to heaven, h.e.l.l, or purgatory. That misunderstanding leads us to believe that it is even possible we might have a soul. But every one of these ideas is, ultimately, stupid. They really make no sense at all once we understand what time really is. go to heaven, h.e.l.l, or purgatory. That misunderstanding leads us to believe that it is even possible we might have a soul. But every one of these ideas is, ultimately, stupid. They really make no sense at all once we understand what time really is.

The moment you were born was you. The moment you die will be you. This moment right now is you. There is no difference between this moment and yourself. You live through a million you/moments every single second. Being and time are not two things. Dogen uses a compound to express this just like our buddy Brundlefly. Dogen writes about "being/time." In Dogen's words "being/time is you and being/time is me."

Moments of you whip by so fast you can't possibly notice them, just like movies create the illusion of movement by showing you a series of still photos in rapid succession. The illusion of time is created by moments of you whizzing by so fast they make the standard film speed of twenty-four frames per second look glacial. The light from an electric bulb is caused by the current flickering through it, on and off and on and off, yet the light seems to be constant.

Real time is just this moment. That's all there is. There's no room for souls or for reincarnation because in order to have a soul, you need to have a past and in order to be reincarnated you need to have a future. But as I've been saying all along: You don't. Past and future are just ideas. When there is no past and no future, the question of life after death in any form including reincarnation becomes entirely irrelevant. This is what Gautama Buddha was talking about when he said, "The question does not fit the case."

All the problems I've ever had all stem from being unwilling to stay with the life I'm living right this moment. And the same goes for all your problems. Sort out your misunderstanding of time and all your problems go away. Just like that.

MY WIFE WORKS MOST WEEKENDS and I do not. But last week she had Sunday off. She planned a day out for us at Kunitachi, an area on the far west part of Tokyo where there's a beautiful university with s.p.a.cious grounds and a lovely Chinese vegetarian restaurant. All week I was looking forward to that trip. It was pleasant knowing that I'd get to go out there and spend time with Yuka that day.

It took forever but Sunday finally came. There we were out in Kunitachi walking around, enjoying the suns.h.i.+ne and fresh air. We sat down on a bench on the campus, and all of sudden a bunch of college baseball players decided to change out of their uniforms and into their street clothes right next to us. I found myself distressed: Was Yuka comparing their tight jockey shortsclad teenage b.u.t.tcheeks to my flabby mid-thirties ones?

A bit later I noticed my feet were starting to get sore from all the walking. The thought occurred to me, "I wish I were home." "I wish I were home."

THIS HAPPENS TO ALL OF US all the time. The only special trick a Buddhist has is to avoid being sucker-punched by these thoughts when they come up-as they always will. A Buddhist learns that his thoughts are just thoughts, nothing requiring any response. But most of us feed into them: a little spark of a complaint appears and instead of letting it die out, we stoke it up. If we work really hard at it, we can make a tiny spark can turn into a raging blaze in no time at all. Then we get upset because it's getting too hot. Once the blaze has gotten that big, though, it's hard work to put it out. What's worse is that we have no idea how how to put it out. Our efforts just end up making the flames bigger and bigger until it's completely out of control consuming every moment of our lives. to put it out. Our efforts just end up making the flames bigger and bigger until it's completely out of control consuming every moment of our lives.

Reincarnation is all very much tied in with this. We're just trying to establish for ourselves the existence of something that has no reality. We're trying to preserve that something that makes us miss out on a beautiful day in the country by telling us we'd really be much happier back in the city, and makes us miss out on the beautiful chintziness of a Muzak rendition of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" at the dentist's office wis.h.i.+ng we could be at home listening to Kurt Cobain. We try so hard to preserve the very thing that's making us miserable. We cling hard to our pain because we mistakenly think that that pain is who we really are. We define ourselves by what we don't like or we define ourselves by what we like. Either way we miss the truth. We harbor some inexplicable fear that if we start to enjoy everything about life without picking and choosing we might cease to exist.

THE DENIAL OF REINCARNATION might sound like a terrible thing, a promise that nothing's waiting for you at the end of your life but bleak, black nothingness. In fact, I don't know what's waiting at the end of our lives. No one does. But it's not the future that matters. Right now is what counts. If you want to believe in reincarnation, you have to believe that this life, this life, what you're living through right now, what you're living through right now, is is the afterlife. You're missing out on the afterlife you looked forward to in your last existence by worrying about your next life. the afterlife. You're missing out on the afterlife you looked forward to in your last existence by worrying about your next life. This This is what happens after you die. Take a look. is what happens after you die. Take a look.

You can get hooked on afterlife ideas just like a drug. The reason to avoid ideas about life after death isn't because they couldn't possibly be true. Maybe they could. How would I know? It's because ideas like that promote a kind of dreamy fantasy state that distracts us from seeing what our life is right now.

"The question doesn't fit the case."

Look at your life as it is right now and live it, right now.

THAT'S ZEN MASTER ZEN MASTER KNOW-IT-ALL TO YOU, BUDDY! KNOW-IT-ALL TO YOU, BUDDY!

I'm a cop. You will respect my authority.

ERIC CARTMAN ON SOUTH PARK.

DHARMA TRANSMISSION is a very controversial subject within Zen circles. Back when Gautama Buddha was alive there was an incident in which he stepped up to give a talk. As was customary in India, flowers had been strewn at his feet before he began to teach. Instead of speaking, Gautama just picked up one of those flowers and held it silently aloft-and a guy named Mahakashyapa, one of his long-time students, smiled.Then the Buddha winked at a him, called it day's teaching, and walked away.

This little scene is viewed by Zen Buddhists as the moment when the Buddha recognized that one of his followers had attained the same level of understanding as he had himself. The Buddha's silent wink was taken to be the start of the formal acknowledgment known today as Dharma Transmission.

But 2,500 years have pa.s.sed since then and a lot of things have changed. In j.a.pan, it's not all that hard to find the head of some temple, some guy who "has transmission" who will give it to you if you can show him you've got a good reason to have it-and unfortunately having just inherited the family temple from your old man counts as a good reason. Oh, and you also have to have enough bank to pay certain a.s.sociated "fees" to the head temple. Many j.a.panese priests today give transmission for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with real understanding of Buddhist truths; a lot of it's simple politics, business, or nepotism.

To me, though, as for a lot of American Zen students, Dharma Transmission was always a big deal. So when Nis.h.i.+jima told me, very casually one day, that he wanted to give me transmission, I was taken aback. I resisted the idea. It scared me. Who the h.e.l.l was I? How I could possibly "deserve" that? But Nis.h.i.+jima made it clear that while I could delay the actual ceremony, as far as he was concerned I had already "gotten" transmission. Still, I put it off.

I TOOK NEARLY A YEAR to decide to accept Dharma Transmission. To accept such a thing is to become an authority figure and I've always had a problem with authority. I never liked authority figures, never wanted to be an authority figure, and never gave a s.h.i.+t about the people who did. Never trusted 'em. In my whole life I've hardly ever come across an authority figure who really deserved the power that had been conferred upon her or him. My teachers and school administrators had by and large shown themselves to be hardly worthy of my contempt let alone my respect. Mister Walters, my junior high princ.i.p.al, once put me through such intense psychological torture I nearly puked all over his floor-and in retrospect I wish I had!-and then he revealed that he had no idea who I was or why I'd been called to his office. It's hard not to feel contempt after such an experience. The few people in positions of authority I did respect never played the whole Authority Figure role.

And as authority figures go, religious authority figures were definitely the worst-and now here I was about to become one. I was conflicted, to the say the least.

Of course rebellion against authority, as any pop-psychologist will tell you, is just an immature and maladjusted psychological reaction to the traumas of a childhood, when the Big Bad Adult told us we were forbidden from doing something or other we wanted to do, and learning not do everything we want all the time is part of the normal process of socialization. Every child rebels against this to some degree, but eventually, a mature person accepts some amount of authority.

Unfortunately, what happens to most people is that they don't just accept accept authority, they authority, they believe believe in it. We have, buried within us, an unspoken, unacknowledged belief that there are some people who are somehow better than others, more deserving than ourselves-that authorities are somehow in it. We have, buried within us, an unspoken, unacknowledged belief that there are some people who are somehow better than others, more deserving than ourselves-that authorities are somehow worthy worthy of the authority they wield. of the authority they wield.

We don't believe in divine kings anymore but we still believe in our celebrities in much the same way. Intellectually we know they're just like us. But on a deeper psychological level we regard them somehow as special special beings, endowed with some kind of extraordinary powers lowly creatures like ourselves do not possess. beings, endowed with some kind of extraordinary powers lowly creatures like ourselves do not possess.

Why did so many people take notice in 1966 when John Lennon said The Beatles were bigger than Jesus? Because he was a celebrity. He was special in our eyes because he wrote good songs and so he became an Authority. Happens all the time.

I was personally shocked to discover this particular belief buried in my own psychological makeup, despite the fact that I'd spent much of my life penning sarcastic ditties about stupid people who trusted their stupid leaders and prayed to their stupid G.o.d and stupidly wors.h.i.+ped their stupid pop heroes.

It never occurred to me to examine my unspoken belief that my my heroes-John Lennon, Syd Barrett, and Robyn Hitchc.o.c.k-were obviously heroes-John Lennon, Syd Barrett, and Robyn Hitchc.o.c.k-were obviously worthy worthy of reverence and that therefore my unquestioned belief in them was duly called for. I also believed in Eiji Tsuburaya, special-effects man behind the G.o.dzilla series, and subsequently in his son, n.o.boru who became my boss when I started working for Tsuburaya Productions. These men were obviously something apart from ordinary humanity. They were Authority. of reverence and that therefore my unquestioned belief in them was duly called for. I also believed in Eiji Tsuburaya, special-effects man behind the G.o.dzilla series, and subsequently in his son, n.o.boru who became my boss when I started working for Tsuburaya Productions. These men were obviously something apart from ordinary humanity. They were Authority.

n.o.boru Tsuburaya's death from cancer in 1995 brought home to me in no uncertain terms the fact that I still believed in Authority. I was truly stunned. I had erected an imaginary barrier between Him and me that prevented me from even asking if I could make a visit to His bedside. How could a lowlife like me presume to be in the hospital room of such a great man? I made up all kinds of excuses-until time finally ran out and he was gone. Not having said goodbye to him is one of the greatest regrets I have.

But my belief in Authority went even deeper than I'd suspected. Even after throwing away what I'd thought was the final vestige of my belief in Authority, I still had one category of Authority Figures left: Zen masters. Zen masters had always been above the stuff I hated in other Authority Figures. Tim and Nis.h.i.+jima certainly had shown themselves worthy of real respect. The ancient Zen masters I read about in books were mythical figures, towering above the rest of mankind. In short, they were Authority.

My belief in the Nis.h.i.+jima's authority prevented me from being able to speak honestly with him for many years. I used to wonder why he often fell silent during our conversations. I'd always break out in a cold sweat whenever that happened and try desperately to come up with something clever or insightful that might impress him. But when I did come up with some little nugget, he'd just c.o.c.k his head and give me a quizzical look. So I'd end up saying a nervous goodbye and racing out of the room feeling like a real schmoe. It took far longer than it should have for me to learn that all he was waiting for was for me to speak sincerely, person to person. When I did that, conversation with him was totally natural.

NOW HERE HE WAS offering to make me me a "Zen master." Not even offering, really, here he was saying I was already a "Zen master" and he just wanted to do a formal ceremony acknowledging that fact. To make matters even worse, not only did Nis.h.i.+jima want to give me Dharma Transmission, he wanted me to go through a ceremony called "receiving" the Buddhist precepts first. a "Zen master." Not even offering, really, here he was saying I was already a "Zen master" and he just wanted to do a formal ceremony acknowledging that fact. To make matters even worse, not only did Nis.h.i.+jima want to give me Dharma Transmission, he wanted me to go through a ceremony called "receiving" the Buddhist precepts first.

The ceremony of receiving the Buddhist precepts is the closest thing you'll find in j.a.panese Zen Buddhism to what's called "being ordained" in most religions. Nis.h.i.+jima wanted me-me!?-to become an ordained priest in a major world religion?

Pull the other one, it's got bells on it!

NO s.e.x WITH CANTALOUPES.

Never let your sense of morals keep you from doing what's right.

ISAAC AS IMOV.

ALTHOUGH RECEIVING THE PRECEPTS basically amounts to ordination in j.a.panese Zen, the precepts themselves are common to all sects of Buddhism, and receiving them essentially amounts to committing to live an ethical life. But whatever the style and whatever the dress requirements, the basics of the ceremony remain the same: the student agrees to abide by what are known as the ten fundamental precepts. These are: 1. not to kill,2. not to steal,3. not to misuse s.e.xuality (or "not to desire too much" as Nis.h.i.+jima likes to phrase it),4. not to lie,5. not to cloud the mind with intoxicants,6. not to criticize others,7. not to be proud of yourself and slander others,8. not to covet,9. not to give way to anger,10. not to slander the Three Treasures.

Number 10 is not quite as obvious as the others. Don't sweat it. Bear with me here.

THERE ARE NO MATTERS OF "SIN" in Buddhism, so unlike breaking one of the Ten Commandments, breaking one of these ten precepts is not considered sinful. In fact, there may be situations in which breaking one of the precepts is the appropriate thing to do and maintaining it literally would be "wrong."

Rather than being a set of rules that must be followed in order to avoid the Wrath of G.o.d, the ten precepts are a set of general guidelines describing ten actions that are almost always detrimental to the establishment of good relations among and within human beings. Engaging in any of these activities pretty much ensures that a certain degree of what's commonly called "bad karma" will follow. "Bad karma" is, by the way, a terrible phrase. The word karma karma just means "action." But since we cannot take any action without some kind of consequences following, the word just means "action." But since we cannot take any action without some kind of consequences following, the word karma karma has commonly been misunderstood as referring only to the consequences of our actions and not the actions themselves. Actions and their consequences always appear simultaneously, though our brains are stuffed so full of cotton-candy we presume they take place sequentially. has commonly been misunderstood as referring only to the consequences of our actions and not the actions themselves. Actions and their consequences always appear simultaneously, though our brains are stuffed so full of cotton-candy we presume they take place sequentially.

Since Gautama Buddha's time, all Buddhists have taken a vow to uphold some version of this list of precepts (some lists are longer, some shorter). But aside from these fundamental precepts, there's a huge of list of other precepts, called the vinaya vinaya precepts that some sects also follow. precepts that some sects also follow.

These came about because during Gautama's lifetime, people would ask him if some particular thing-s.e.x with cantaloupes, for instance-was right or wrong, and if he said it wasn't right, one more vinaya precept was added: "Not to have s.e.x with cantaloupes." It went on and on like this for the over forty years Buddha taught.

Someone would ask: "Is playing the Sonic Reducer Sonic Reducer on electric guitar bad, O Wise One?" "Only if you play on electric guitar bad, O Wise One?" "Only if you play Sonic Reducer Sonic Reducer so loud it annoys the neighbors," Buddha would answer rather reasonably. And this was handed down from generation to generation as precept number 1394(a): "Not to play so loud it annoys the neighbors," Buddha would answer rather reasonably. And this was handed down from generation to generation as precept number 1394(a): "Not to play Sonic Reducer Sonic Reducer on the electric guitar so loud it annoys the neighbors." on the electric guitar so loud it annoys the neighbors."

As he was dying Gautama called Ananda, his cousin and longtime a.s.sistant in administrative matters, to his side. Gautama said to him that it was important to keep the major precepts, but that the minor ones could be more or less ignored. Unfortunately the sage didn't go so far as to actually specify exactly which precepts were major and which were minor. Sometime later, though, it was agreed that the ten precepts listed above (or maybe just the first five) were the really important ones. The others have been largely relegated to the history books and certain strict sects of Theravada Buddhism.

IN ZEN, we also have another take on the ten fundamental precepts, from a guy called Bodhidharma, the Indian monk who brought Buddhism to China from India several centuries after Gautama Buddha's death. He probably actually existed, but probably didn't do or say all the things attributed to him. But as I mentioned, Buddhists really don't care one way or the other. Anyhow, Bodhidharma left us a very famous reinterpretation of the ten precepts. His versions go like this (and by the way, the word Dharma Dharma below means "the way things are"): below means "the way things are"): 1. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the everlasting Dharma, not giving rise to the notion of extinction is called the precept of not taking life.2. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the Dharma in which nothing can be obtained, not giving rise to the thought of obtaining is called the precept of not stealing.3. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the Dharma in which there is nothing to grasp, not giving rise to attachment is called the precept of not misusing s.e.x.4. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the inexplicable Dharma, not speaking even a single word is called the precept of not telling lies.5. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the intrinsically pure Dharma, not allowing the mind to become dark is called the precept of not dealing in intoxicating liquors.6. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the faultless Dharma, not speaking of others' faults is called the precept of not criticizing others.7. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the sphere of equal Dharma, not speaking of self and others is called the precept of not being proud of self and slandering others.8. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the all-pervading true Dharma, not clinging to one form is called the precept of not coveting.9. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the Dharma of no-self, not giving rise to the thought of self and others is called the precept of not giving way to anger.10. Self-nature is mysteriously profound. In the one Dharma, not giving rise to the thought of distinction between sentient beings and Buddhas is called the precept of not speaking falsely of the Three Treasures.

Interesting, huh?

SO WHAT'S THIS SAY about Buddhist morality? There are nitwits out there who'll tell you Buddhism, particularly Zen Buddhism, isn't concerned with morality, that it's enlightenment that really counts. They're wrong. Enlightenment is for sissies. Living ethically and morally is what really matters.

Some of my best friends are people who've made it their business to try to solve all the world's ills-and G.o.d love 'em for it. Most people think this kind of behavior is the most intensely moral thing anyone could engage in. My friends certainly do.

For years and years I labored under the impression that people like this were really "doing something" while I was just sitting around staring at walls or contemplating my navel lint (it keeps coming back-what's up with that?). But is what they do what it really means to be moral? When you decide that helping feed homeless transgender crack addicts to the baby whales-or whatever-is somehow more worthy than helping your mom clean the dead squirrel out of the gutters, that's when you get in trouble. It's not that the "worthy" causes aren't worth pursuing-of course they are. It's that all too often our image of "worthy" causes completely obscures the stuff right under our noses-and that's that's the stuff that needs our attention, right here and right now. the stuff that needs our attention, right here and right now.

Probe into it and you start to see that there are plenty of people who run around telling the world they're "committed" to whatever cause it is they're trying to make right but who have no commitment at all to handling their lives at this very moment or even treating the people they encounter day-to-day in a civil fas.h.i.+on. Back when my punk friends and I were shouting about America's ever-increasing and highly illegal incursions into El Salvador, Ronald Reagan's dangerous policy of nuclear brinksmans.h.i.+p, and the Moral Majority's war on the freedom of speech-what were our lives really like? We couldn't even get it together to keep the toilets running. I may have been committed to the El Salvadoran struggle, but where was my commitment to my toilet? Where was my commitment to putting decent food in my body so that my brain could think clearly enough to say something intelligent about the issues that had me so vexed? Where was my commitment to putting my Black Flag records back on the shelf and vacuuming everybody's cigarette b.u.t.ts off the rug? Where was my commitment to just not being an a.s.shole?

When you're so committed to the future, it's real easy to let your life right now turn to s.h.i.+t.

WE'RE CONSTANTLY DRAWING imaginary distinctions between "big" issues and "little" ones. And we think only the "big" issues matter. Actually, though, the tiniest bit of good you do makes the world a better place for everyone. Cleaning those weird orange stains of unknown origin off the toilet isn't solely going to bring about lasting peace in the Middle East, but it helps. It really does. It's part of a chain of cause and effect that affects you and affects the universe. And life for everyone gets a little better. A little of that goes a long way. And it's really impossible to know exactly how or how much.

Chaos theory has it that a b.u.t.terfly flapping its wings in Central Park can cause a hurricane in South America. Don't discount the similar effect of smiling genuinely at someone you don't really like all that much.

Real morality isn't just refraining from doing stuff that's outrageously heinous. Real morality encompa.s.ses every thing you do every minute of every day. It includes the way you say "good morning" at work, the way you pay your utility bills, the way you deal with the driver who cuts you off on the freeway. It includes the way you eat and sleep and breathe and scream. It includes how you dress yourself and style your hair-not that there are "moral dress codes" or "moral hair-styles," but the way you approach the thing matters. In the movie Stardust Memories, Stardust Memories, Woody Allen meets some aliens and starts asking them all the Big Questions About Life. They tell him, "You're asking the wrong questions. If you want to make the world a better place, tell funnier jokes!" Woody Allen meets some aliens and starts asking them all the Big Questions About Life. They tell him, "You're asking the wrong questions. If you want to make the world a better place, tell funnier jokes!"

Do what you do as well as you possibly can. That's Buddhist morality.

Real morality comes from each individual, from each of us. Yet this isn't an "I make my own rules, man!" morality. Morality has nothing whatsoever to do with rules-not my rules, not your rules, not Buddha's rules. Real morality is based on a single criterion: right action, appropriate appropriate action, in the present moment and present situation. Doing what's right in this moment is the only good there is, doing what is not right at this moment is the only evil. A war stops when people stop firing guns at each other. Treaties and ceremonies are just window-dressing. World peace happens when no one fires guns at anyone anymore. action, in the present moment and present situation. Doing what's right in this moment is the only good there is, doing what is not right at this moment is the only evil. A war stops when people stop firing guns at each other. Treaties and ceremonies are just window-dressing. World peace happens when no one fires guns at anyone anymore.

You bring about world peace when you bring about peace within your own body and mind.

Man that sounds lame! I used to laugh out loud at that kind of thing and it still looks like a load of hippy-dippy c.r.a.p when I see it written down. And yet, as it turns out, it's also true. It's what I've seen, based on my own experience in my own life. And it's what you'll see if you really take the time to look.

Real morality is based on seeing how the universe actually operates and avoiding doing those things that make ourselves and others miserable. It's not that if we're "bad" when we're alive, we go to h.e.l.l when we're dead. It's not that if we do wrong now, we'll have "bad karma" recorded on some kind of cosmic accounting ledger and we'll be spend our next life as a dung beetle. G.o.d is the source of you and you are the source of G.o.d. If you understand the natural law of cause and effect in your bones you naturally refrain from doing stupid things-because it all happens to you. You create the cause and you experience the effect.

There are people who think that they can do wrong and get away with it, even profit from it. It don't work that way. This is always and inevitably the case. No one gets away with murder. No one gets away with anything. You can't escape the consequences of your immoral acts any more than someone who drops a big-a.s.s amp directly on his foot can escape having broken toe-bones. Your life and the life of everyone else in the universe are one seamless whole. To cause another living being pain isn't evil-it's just stupid. Because that being is you.

THE INTERESTING THING is that the more clearly you understand the law of cause and effect, the faster the law appears to operate-because in actual fact, cause and effect operate simultaneously. The cause is is the effect. For the severely deluded, things may seem to take a very long time to have any effect. That's why a successful thief thinks he's gotten away with something. He hasn't, he's just too boneheaded to see what's happening even now. The degree of your delusion determines how long it takes to notice the effects you've created. the effect. For the severely deluded, things may seem to take a very long time to have any effect. That's why a successful thief thinks he's gotten away with something. He hasn't, he's just too boneheaded to see what's happening even now. The degree of your delusion determines how long it takes to notice the effects you've created.

Maybe you think you've got this down pat-you don't, by the way, because it's an ever-changing thing that can't possibly be pinned down-but maybe you think you do. But what about those other people out there? What about the people in the Middle East who seem like they never will? What about gang members on the streets of Parma, Ohio? What can you do about them?

You want peace in the Middle East? Do what Nis.h.i.+jima did at the spry age of eighty-two, a month after the September 11th tragedies in 2001: Go to Israel and tell people about this stuff. And if the people you talk to won't listen, go and tell somebody else. And maybe in a few decades, word will begin to spread. Or maybe it won't. Treat the people you meet with kindness and respect. Go out and appreciate the beauty of billowing smoke from a tire factory or the spectacle of sunset over the city dump. Appreciate your life and help others appreciate theirs. Stop the racist, gay-bas.h.i.+ng n.a.z.is from going to war to club baby seals in the burning South American rainforests if you want-but also clean your room.

The major problems we have in the world are nothing more than big ugly heaps of much smaller, much more mundane problems. But ultimately, taking care of the small takes care of the large. Of course, we do have to work out some of those really big issues before they kill us all. But even here we have to do what needs doing step by step with the flexibility to change tactics when things don't go as planned.

Do the things you can do right here and right now. Do your best. And when you run into something that you can't fix, keep on doing your best. Take things as they come one by one by one. And gradually, you'll find that things start looking a little better. But bear in mind that "gradually" will happen on the universe's time scale-not necessarily yours. Be patient. You'll never be rid of all your troubles-and really, you wouldn't want to be. The miracle is-and just think about this one for a little bit-if enough people start doing the right thing here and now then ever so gradually, ever so very agonizingly slowly, all of those big hairy world problems will just simply disappear.

In fact, that's already happening.

But I'll say it again: If you want to really change the problems of the world, you have to start with yourself. You have to look at your own action right here and right now. You are the only one you can ever change. Your opinions, your beliefs, your traditions, the habits you picked up from your family and your culture, they're all of no value at all when it comes to true morality. Tell funnier jokes!

You need to learn to observe yourself clearly and with a penetrating honesty that melts right through your own thoroughly built-up defenses. And trust me, this is far more difficult than it sounds.

Reality is here and now. The universe is where you are at this moment. The most important action you can possibly take is what you do right now. Be completely naked. Be absolutely open and the universe will show itself in all of its true glory. G.o.d will stand before you and within you.

REVENGE OF the POD PEOPLE I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.

GROUCHO MARX.