The Child of Pleasure - BestLightNovel.com
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'No--don't--please don't kneel.'
He rose, and she offered him her hand, adding, 'I will forgive you this time because you are an invalid.'
She wore a dress of a curious indefinable dull rusty red, one of those so-called aesthetic colours one meets with in the pictures of the Early Masters or of Dante Gabriel Rossetti. It was arranged in a mult.i.tude of straight regular folds beginning immediately under the arms, and was confined at the waist by a wide blue-green ribbon, of the pale tinge of a faded turquoise, that fell in a great knot at her side. The sleeves were very full and soft, and were gathered in closely at the wrist.
Another ribbon of the same shade, but much narrower, encircled her neck and was tied at the left side in a small bow, and a similar ribbon fastened the end of the prodigious plait which fell from under her straw hat, round which was twined a wreath of hyacinths like that of Alma Tadema's Pandora. A great Persian turquoise, her sole ornament, shaped like a scarabeus and engraved with talismanic characters, fastened her dress at the throat.
'Let us wait for Delfina,' she said, 'and then, what do you say to our going as far as the gate of the Cybele? Would that suit you?'
She was full of delicate consideration for the convalescent Andrea was still very pale and thin, which made his eyes look extraordinarily large, the somewhat sensual expression of his mouth forming a singular and not unattractive contrast to the upper part of his face.
'Yes,' he replied, 'and I am deeply grateful to you.' Then, after a moment's hesitation--'Do you mind if I am rather silent this morning?'
'Why do you ask me that?'
'Because I feel as if I had lost my tongue and could find nothing to say; and yet silence becomes burdensome and annoying if it is prolonged.
That is why I ask if, during our walk, you will allow me to be silent and only listen to you.'
'Why, then, we will be silent together,' she said with a little smile.
She looked up towards the villa with evident impatience--'What a long time Delfina is!'
'Was Francesca up when you came out?' asked Andrea.
'Oh no, she is incredibly lazy--ah, there is Delfina, do you see her?'
The little girl came hurrying down, followed by her governess. Though not visible on the flight of steps, she appeared upon the terraces which she traversed at a run, her hair floating over her shoulders in the breeze from under a broad-brimmed straw hat wreathed with poppies. On the last step she opened her arms wide to her mother and covered her face with kisses. After this she said--'Good morning, Andrea,' and presented her forehead to his kiss with childlike and adorable grace.
She was a fragile creature, highly strung and vibrating as an instrument fas.h.i.+oned of sentient material, her flesh so delicately transparent as to seem incapable of concealing or even veiling the radiance of the spirit that dwelt within it like a flame in a precious lamp.
'Heart's dearest!' murmured her mother, gazing at her with a look in which was concentrated all the tenderness of a soul wholly occupied by this one absorbing affection. But at those words, that look, that caress, Andrea felt a sudden stab of jealousy, something like a rebuff, as if her heart were turning away from him, eluding him, becoming inaccessible.
The governess asked permission to return to the villa, and the three turned into a path bordered by orange-trees. Delfina ran on in front with her hoop, her straight slender little legs in their long black stockings, moving with rhythmic grace.
'You seem a little out of spirits now,' said Donna Maria to her companion, 'and only a little while ago, when you came down, you seemed so bright. Is something troubling you?--do you not feel so well?'
She put these questions in an almost sisterly manner soberly and kindly, inviting his confidence. A timid desire, a vague temptation a.s.sailed the invalid to slip his arm through hers, and let her lead him in silence through the flickering shadows and the perfumes, over the flower-strewn ground, down the pathways measured off at intervals by ancient moss-grown statues. He seemed, all at once, to have returned to the first days of his illness, those never-to-be-forgotten days of happy languor and semi-unconsciousness, and felt as if he had great need of a friendly support, an affectionate, a familiar arm. The desire grew so intense that the words which would give it voice rushed to his lips.
However he merely replied--
'No, Donna Maria, thank you, I feel quite well. It is only that the September weather rather affects me.'
She looked at him as if she rather doubted the sincerity of his reply; but, to avoid an awkward silence after his evasive remark, she asked--
'Which of the neutral months do you like best--April or September?'
'Oh, September. It is more feminine, more discreet, more mysterious--like a Spring seen in a dream. Then all the plants slowly lose their vital forces, and, at the same time, some of their reality.
Look at the sea over there--has it not more the appearance of an atmosphere than of a solid ma.s.s of water? And never, to my mind, does the union of sea and sky seem so mystical, so profound as in September.'
They had very nearly reached the end of the path. Why should Andrea be suddenly seized with a tremor of nervous fear on approaching the spot where, a fortnight ago, he had written the sonnets on his deliverance?
Why this struggle between hope and anxiety lest she should discover them and read them? Why did some of the lines keep running in his mind to the exclusion of others, as if they expressed his actual sentiments at that moment, his aspirations, the new dream he carried in his heart?
'I lay at thine untroubled feet my fate!'
It was true! It was true! He loved her, he laid his whole life at her feet--was conscious of but one desire--humble and absorbing--to be the earth between her footsteps.
'How beautiful it is here!' exclaimed Donna Maria, as she entered the demesne of the four-fronted Hermes, into the paradise of the acanthus.
'But what a strange scent!'
The whole air was full of the odour of musk, as from the unseen presence of some musk-breathing insect or animal. The shadows were deep and mysterious, the rays of light which pierced the foliage, already touched by the finger of autumn, seemed like shafts of moonlight s.h.i.+ning through the storied windows of a cathedral. A mixed sentiment, partly Pagan, partly Christian, seemed to emanate from this sylvan retreat, as from a mythological picture painted by an early Christian artist.
'Oh look, look, Delfina!' her mother exclaimed in the excited tones of one who suddenly comes upon a thing of beauty.
Delfina had skilfully woven little sprays of orange blossom into a garland, and now, with the fancifulness of childhood, she was eager that it should encircle the head of the marble deity. She could not reach it, but did her best to accomplish her object by standing on tip-toe and stretching her arm to its utmost extent; her slender, elegant and vivacious little figure offering a striking contrast to the rigid, square and solemn form of the statue, like a lily-stem against an oak.
All her efforts were, however, fruitless.
Smilingly, her mother came to her aid. Taking the wreath from the child's hand, she placed it on the pensive brows of the G.o.d. As she did so, her eyes fell involuntarily upon the inscriptions.
'Who has been writing verses here.--You?' she asked, turning to Andrea in surprise and pleasure. 'Yes--I recognise your hand.'
Forthwith, she knelt upon the gra.s.s to read with eager curiosity. While Donna Maria read the words in a low voice, Delfina leaned upon her mother's shoulder, one arm about her neck, cheek pressed to cheek. The two figures thus bending over the pedestal of the tall flower-wreathed statue, in the uncertain light, surrounded by the emblematical acanthus, formed a group so harmonious in line and colouring that the poet stood a moment lost in pure aesthetic pleasure and admiration.
But the next moment the old obscure sense of jealousy was upon him once more. The fragile little creature clinging to the mother, indissolubly connected with her mother's very being, seemed to him an enemy, an insurmountable obstacle rising up against his love, his desires, his hopes. He was not jealous of the husband, but he was of the daughter. It was not the body but the soul of this woman that he longed to possess, and to possess it wholly, undivided, with all its tenderness, all its joys, its hopes, its fears, its pain, its dreams--in short the sum total of her spiritual being, and be able to say--'I am the life of her life.'
But instead, it was the daughter who possessed all this incontestably, absolutely, continuously. When her idol left her side, even for a short time, the mother seemed to miss some essential element of her existence.
Her face was instantaneously and visibly transfigured when, after a brief absence, that childish voice fell upon her ear once more. At times, unconsciously and as if by some occult correspondence, some law of common vital accordance, she would repeat a gesture of the child's, a smile, an att.i.tude, a pose of the head. Again, when the child was in repose or asleep, she had moments of contemplation so intense that she seemed to have lost all sense of her surroundings and to have absorbed herself into the creature she was contemplating. When she spoke to her darling, every word was a caress, and the plaintive lines vanished from her mouth. Under the child's kisses, her lips quivered and her eyes filled with ineffable happiness like the eyes of an ecstatic at a beatific vision. If she happened to be conversing with other people or listening to their talk, she would appear to have sudden lapses of attention, momentary absence of mind, and this was for her daughter--for her--always for her.
Who could ever break that chain? Could any one ever succeed in conquering a part--even the very smallest atom of that heart? Andrea suffered as under an irreparable loss, some forced renunciation, some shattered hope. At this moment, this very moment, was not the child stealing something from him?
For Delfina was playfully constraining her mother to remain upon her knees. She hung with all her weight round Donna Maria's neck, crying through her laughter--
'No--no--no--you shall not get up!'
And whenever her mother opened her mouth to speak, she clapped her little hands over it to prevent her, made her laugh, bandaged her eyes with the long plait--played a hundred pranks.
Watching her, Andrea felt, that by all this playful commotion, she was dispelling from her mother all that his verses had possibly instilled into her mind.
When, at last, Donna Maria succeeded in freeing herself from her darling tyrant, she saw his annoyance in his face, and hastened to say--'Forgive me, Andrea, Delfina is sometimes taken with these fits of wildness.'
With a deft hand she re-arranged the disordered folds of her dress.
There was a faint flush under her eyes and her breath came quickly.
'And forgive her too,' she continued with a smile to which the unwonted animation of colour lent a singular light, 'out of consideration for her unconscious homage, for it was she who had the happy inspiration to place a nuptial wreath over your verses which sing of nuptial communion.
That sets a seal upon the alliance.'
'My thanks both to you and to Delfina,' answered Andrea. It was the first time she had called him by his Christian name, and the unexpected familiarity, combined with her gentle words, restored his confidence.
Delfina had run off down one of the paths.
'These verses are a spiritual record, are they not?' Donna Maria resumed. 'Will you give them to me that I may not forget them?'