The History of the Devil Part 23

She put by the Discourse, and returned to that of Angels, and insisted that Angels did not always a.s.sume beautiful Appearances; that sometimes they appear'd in terrible Shapes, but that when they did not, it was at best only amiable Faces, not exquisite; and that therefore it would not hold, that to be handsome, should always render them suspected.

I told her the _Devil_ had more Occasion to form Beauties than other Angels had, his Business being princ.i.p.ally to deceive and ensnare Mankind. And then I gave her some Examples upon the whole.

I found by her Discourse she was willing enough to pa.s.s for an _Angel_, but 'twas the hardest thing in the World to convince her that she was a DEVIL, and she would not come into that by any means; she argued that I knew her Father, and that her Mother was a very good Woman, and was delivered of her in the ordinary Way, and that there was such and such Ladies who were present in the Room when she was born, and that had often told her so.

I told her that was nothing in such a Case as hers; that when the Old Gentleman had occasion to transform himself into a fine Lady, he could easily dispose of a Child, and place himself in the Cradle instead of it, when the Nurse or Mother were asleep; nay, or when they were broad awake either, it was the same thing to him; and I quoted _Luther_ to her upon that Occasion, who affirms that it had been so. However I said, to convince her that I knew it, (for I would have it that she knew it already) if she pleas'd I would go to my Chamber and fetch her my Magick Looking-gla.s.s, where she should see her own Picture, not only as it was an angelick Picture for the World to admire, but a _Devil_ also frightful enough to any Body but herself and me that understood it.

No, no, _said she_, I'll look in none of your conjuring Gla.s.ses; I know my self well enough, and I desire to look no otherwise than I am.

No, Madam, _says I_, I know that very well; nor do you need any better Shape than that you appear in, 'tis most exquisitely fine; all the World knows you are a compleat Beauty, and that is a clear Evidence what you would be if your present appearing Form was reduced to its proper Personality.

_Appearing Form!_ says she, why, what would you make an _Apparition_ of me?

An _Apparition!_ Madam, said I, yes, to be sure; why you know, you are nothing else but an _Apparition_; and what else would you be, when it is so infinitely to your Advantage?

With that, she turn'd pale and angry, and then rose up hastily, and look'd into the Gla.s.s, (_a large Peer-gla.s.s being in the Room_) where she stood, surveying her self from Head to Foot, with Vanity not a little.

I took that Time to slip away, and running up into my Apartment, I fetch'd my _Magic Gla.s.s_ as I call'd it, in which I had a hollow Case so framed behind a Looking-gla.s.s, that in the first; she would see her own Face only; in the second, she would see the _Devil_'s Face, ugly and frightful enough, but dress'd up with a Lady's Head-Clothes in a Circle, the _Devil_'s Face in the Center, and as it were at a little Distance behind.

I came down again so soon that she did not think the Time long, especially having spent it in surveying her fair self; when I return'd, I said, Come, Madam, do not trouble your self to look there, that is not a Gla.s.s capable of shewing you any thing; come, take this Gla.s.s.

It will shew me as much of my self, _says she, a little scornfully_, as I desire to see; so she continued looking in the Peer-gla.s.s; after some time more (for seeing her a little out of Humour, I waited to see what Observations she would make) I ask'd her if she had view'd her self to her Satisfaction? She said she had, and she had seen nothing of _Devil_ about her. Come, Madam, said I, look here; and with that I open'd the Looking-gla.s.s, and she look'd in it, but saw nothing but her own Face; Well, _says she_, the Gla.s.ses agree well enough, I see no Difference; what can you make of it? With that I took it a little away; Don't you?

_says I_, then I shou'd be mistaken very much; so I look'd in it my self, and giving it a Turn imperceptible to her, I shew'd it her again, where she saw the _Devil_ indeed, dress'd up like a fine Lady, but ugly, and _Devil_ like as could be desired for a _Devil_ to be.

She started, and cry'd out most horribly, and told me, she thought I was more of a _Devil_ than she, for that she knew nothing of all those Tricks, and I did it to fright her, she believ'd I had rais'd the _Devil_.

I told her it was nothing but her own natural Picture, and that she knew well enough, and that I did not shew it her to inform her of it, but to let her know that I knew it too; that so she might make no Pretences of being offended when I talk'd familiarly to her of a Thing of this Nature.

Very well; so, _says she_, I am a real frightful _Devil_, am I?

O, Madam, says I, don't say, _Am I?_ why you know what you are, don't you? A _Devil_! ay, certainly; as sure as the rest of the World believes you a Lady.

I had a great deal of farther Discourse with her upon that Subject, tho'

she would fain have beat me off of it, and two or three times she put the Talk off, and brought something else on; but I always found Means to revive it, and to attack her upon the Reality of her being a Devil, till at last I made her downright angry, and then she shew'd it.

First she cried, told me I came to affront her, that I would not talk so if Sir _Ed----_ was by; and that she ought not to be used so. I endeavour'd to pacify her, and told her I had not treated her with any Indecency, nor I would not; because while she thought fit to walk Abroad _incog._ it was none of my Business to discover her; that if she thought fit to tell Sir _Ed----_ any thing of the Discourse, she was very welcome, or to conceal it, (_which I thought the wisest Course_) she should do just as she pleas'd; but I made no question I should convince Sir _E----_ her Husband, that what I said was just, and that I was really so; whether it was for her Service or no for him to know it, was for her to consider.

This calm'd her a little, and she look'd hard at me a Minute without speaking a Word, when on a sudden she broke out thus: And you will undertake, _says she_, to convince Sir _Ed----_ that he has married a _Devil_, will ye? A fine Story indeed! and what follows? why then it must follow that the Child I go with (for she was big with Child) will be a _Devil_ too, will it? A fine Story for Sir _Ed----_ indeed! isn't it?

I don't know that, Madam, said I, that's as you order it; by the Father's Side, _said I_, I know it will not, but what it may by the Mother's Side, that's a Doubt I can't resolve till the _Devil_ and I talk farther about it.

You and the Devil talk together! _says she_, and looks rufully at me; why do you talk with the _Devil_ then?

Ay, Madam, _says I_, as sure as ever you did your self; besides, said I, can you question that? Pray who am I talking to now?

I think you are mad, _says she_; why you will make _Devils_ of all the Family, it may be, and particularly I must be with Child of a _Devil_, that's certain.

No, Madam, _said I_, 'tis not certain, as I said before, I question it.

Why you say I am the DEVIL, the Child, you know, has always most of the Mother in it, then that must be a Devil too I think, what else can it be, _says she_?

I can't tell that, Madam, _said I_; that's as you agree among your selves, this Kind does not go by Generation; that's a Dispute foreign to the present Purpose.

Then I entred into a Discourse with her of the Ends and Purposes for which the Devil takes up such beautiful Forms as hers, and why it always gave me a Suspicion when I saw a Lady handsomer than ordinary, and set me upon the Search to be satisfied whether she was really a Woman or an _Apparition_? a Lady or a Devil? allowing all along that her being a Devil was quite out of the Question.

Upon that very Foot, she took me up again roundly, and so, _says she_, you are very civil to me through all your Discourse, for I see it ends all in that, and you take it as a thing confest, that I am a Devil! A very pretty piece of good Usage indeed! _says she_; _I thank you for it_.

Nay, Madam, _says I_, do not take it ill of me, for I only discover to you that I knew it; I do not tell it you as a Secret, for you are satisfied of that another way.

Satisfied of what? says she, that I am a Devil? I think the Devil's in you: _And so began to be hot_.

A Devil! yes, Madam, says I, without doubt a meer DEVIL; take it as you please, I can't help that: And so I began to take it ill that she should be disgusted at opening such a well-known Truth to her.

With that she discover'd it all at once, for she turn'd _Fury_, in the very Letter of it; flew out in a Pa.s.sion, rail'd at me, curst me most heartily, and immediately disappeared; which you know is the particular Mark of a Spirit or Apparition.

We had a great deal of Discourse besides this, relating to several other young Ladies of her Acquaintance, some of which, I said, were mere _Apparitions_ like her self; and told her which were so, and which not; and the Reason why they were so, and for what Uses and Purposes, some to delude the World one way, and some another; and she was pretty well pleased to hear that, but she could not bear to hear her own true Character, which however, as cunning as she was, made her act the Devil at last, as you have heard; and then vanished out of my sight.

I have seen her in Miniature several Times since; but she proves her self still to be the Devil of a Lady, for she bears Malice, and will never forgive me, that I would not let her be an Angel; but like a very Devil as she is, she endeavours to kill me at a Distance; and indeed the Poison of her Eyes, (Basilisk-like) is very strong, and she has a strange Influence upon me; but I that know her to be a Devil, strive very hard with my self to drive the Memory of her out of my Thoughts.

I have had two or three Engagements since this, with other _Apparitions_ of the same s.e.x, and I find they are all alike, they are willing enough to be thought Angels, but the Word Devil does not go down at all with them: But 'tis all one, whenever we see an _Apparition_, it is so natural to say we have seen the Devil, that there's no prevailing with Mankind to talk any other Language. A Gentleman of my Acquaintance, the other Day, that had courted a Lady a long time, had the Misfortune to come a little suddenly upon her, when she did not expect him, and found her in such a Rage at some of her Servants, that it quite disorder'd her, especially a Footman; the Fellow had done something that was indeed provoking, but not sufficient to put her into such a Pa.s.sion, and so out of her self; nor was she able to restrain her self when she saw her Lover come in, but d.a.m.n'd the Fellow, and rag'd like a Fury at him.

My Friend did his best to compose her, and begg'd the Fellow's Pardon of her, but it would not do; nay, the poor Fellow made all the Submissions that could be expected, but 'twas the same thing: And so the Gentleman, not caring to engage himself farther than became him, withdrew, and came no more at her for three Days, in all which time she was hardly cool.

The next Day my Friend came to me, and talking of it in Confidence to me, I am afraid, _says he_, I am going to marry a She _Devil_, and so told me the Story; I took no Notice to him, but finding out his Mistress, and taking proper Measures, with some of my particular Skill, I soon found out that it was really so, that she was a mere _Apparition_; and had it not been for that accidental Disorder of her Pa.s.sions, which discover'd her Inside, she might indeed have cheated any Man, for she was a lovely Devil as ever was seen; she talk'd like an Angel, sung like a Syren, did every thing, and said every thing that was taking and charming: But what then? it was all Apparition, for she was a mere _Devil_. It is true, my Friend marry'd her, and tho' she was a _Devil_ without doubt, yet either she behav'd so well, or he was so good, I never could hear him find Fault with her.

These are particular Instances; but alas! I could run you a Length beyond all those Examples, and give you such a List of Devils among the gay Things of the Town, that would fright you to think of; and you would presently conclude, with me, that all the perfect Beauties are Devils, mere Apparitions; but Time and Paper fails, so we must only leave the Men the Caution, let them venture at their Peril. I return to the Subject.

We have a great many charming _Apparitions_ of like kind go daily about the World in compleat Masquerade, and, tho' we must not say so, they are in themselves mere _Devils_, wicked dangerous murthering Devils, that kill various Ways, some, Basilisk-like, with their Eyes; some Syren-like, with their Tongues; all _Murtherers_, even from the _Beginning_: It is true, 'tis pity these pretty _Apparitions_ should be Devils, and be so mischievous as they are; but since it is so, I can do no less than to advertise you of it, that you may shun the Devil in whatever Shape you meet with him.

Again, there are some half Devils, they say, like the _Sagittarii_, half Man, half Horse, or rather like the _Satyr_, who, _they say_, is half Devil, half Man; or, like my Lord Bishop, who, _they say_, was half-headed; whether they mean half-witted or no, I do not find Authors agreed about it: But if they had voted him such, it had been as kind a thing as any they cou'd say of him, because it would have clear'd him from the Scandal of being a Devil, or half a Devil, for we don't find the Devil makes any Alliance with F----ls.

Then as to merry Devils, there's my Master _G------_, he may indeed have the Devil in him, but it must be said, to the Credit of Possession in general, that Satan would have scorn'd to have entred into a Soul so narrow that there was not room to hold him, or to take up with so discording a Creature, so abject, so scoundrel, as never made a Figure among Mankind greater than that of a Thief, a _Moroder_, moulded up into Quality, and a Raparee dress'd up _a-la-Masque_, with a _Robe_ and a _Coronet_.

Some little Dog-kennel Devil may indeed take up his Quarters in or near him, and so run into and out of him as his Drum beats a Call; but to him that was born a _Devil_, Satan, that never acts to no purpose, cou'd not think him worth being possess'd by any thing better than a Devil of a dirty Quality; that is to say, a Spirit too mean to wear the Name of _Devil_, without some Badge or Addition of Infamy and Meanness to distinguish it by.

Thus what _Devil_ of Quality would be confin'd to a _P--------n_, who inheriting all the Pride and Insolence of his Ancestors, without one of their good Qualities; the Bully, the _Billingsgate_, and all the hereditary ill Language of his Family, without an Ounce of their Courage; that has been rescued five or six times from the Scandal of a Coward, by the Bravery, and at the Hazard of Friends, and never fail'd to be ungrateful; that if ever he committed a Murther, did it in cold Blood, because no body could prove he ever had any hot; who possess'd with a Poltroon _Devil_, was always wickeder in the Dark, than he durst be by Day-light; and who, after innumerable pa.s.sive Sufferings, has been turned out of human Society, because he could not be kick'd or cuff'd either into good Manners or good Humour.

To say this was a _Devil_, an Apparition, or even a half _Devil_, would be unkind to _Satan_ himself, since tho' he (the _Devil_) has so many Millions of inferior _Devils_ under his Command, not one cou'd be found base enough to match him, nor one _Devil_ found but what would think himself dishonour'd to be employ'd about him.

Some merry good-for-nothing _Devils_ we have indeed, which we might, if we had room, speak of at large, and divert you too with the Relation, such as my Lady _Hatt's Devil_ in _Ess.e.x_, who upon laying a Joiner's Mallet in the Window of a certain Chamber, would come very orderly and knock with it all Night upon the Window, or against the Wainscot, and disturb the Neighbourhood, and then go away in the Morning, as well satisfied as may be; whereas if the Mallet was not left, he would think himself affronted, and be as unsufferable and terrifying as possible, breaking the Windows, splitting the Wainscot, committing all the Disorders, and doing all the Damage that he was able to the House, and to the Goods in it. And again, such as the Druming _Devil_ in the Well at _Oundle_ in _Northamptons.h.i.+re_, and such like.

A great many antick _Devils_ have been seen also, who seem'd to have little or nothing to do, but only to a.s.sure us that they can appear if they please, and that there is a Reality in the thing call'd Apparition.

As to Shadows of _Devils_, and imaginary Appearances, such as appear, and yet are invisible at the same time, I had thought to have bestow'd a Chapter upon them by themselves, but it may be as much to the Purpose to let them alone, as to meddle with them; 'tis said our old Friend _Luther_ used to be exceedingly troubled with such invisible Apparitions, and he tells us much of them, in what they call his Table-talk; but with Master _Luther_'s leave, tho' the _Devil_ pa.s.ses for a very great Lyar, I could swallow many things of his own proper making, as soon as some of those I find in a Book that goes by his Name, particularly the Story of the Devil in a Basket, the Child flying out of the Cradle, and the like.

In a word, the walking _Devils_ that we have generally among us, are of the female s.e.x; whether it be that the _Devil_ finds less Difficulty to manage them, or that he lives quieter with them, or that they are fitter for his Business than the Men, I shall not now enter into a Dispute about that; perhaps he goes better disguis'd in the fair s.e.x than otherwise; Antiquity gives us many Histories of She-Devils, such as we can very seldom match for Wickedness among the Men; such now as in the Text, _Lot_'s Daughters, _Joseph_'s Mistress, _Sampson_'s _Dalilah_, _Herod_'s _Herodias_, these were certainly _Devils_, or play'd the _Devil_ sufficiently in their Turn; one Male Apparition indeed the Scripture furnishes you with, and that is _Judas_; for his Master says expresly of him, _One of you is a Devil_; not has the _Devil_, or is possess'd of the DEVIL; but really is a DEVIL, or is a real DEVIL.