The Sexual Question Part 43

(1). A man of bad disposition, excited by momentary s.e.xual pa.s.sion, seduces a girl, makes her pregnant, and then disappears. He injures his victim and himself without deriving any advantage. His action is therefore negative, and is to be condemned both from the ethical and the egoistic point of view.

(2). Through motives of religious morality, a virtuous girl marries a depraved drunkard in order to save him. This rarely succeeds, and if it does it is generally incomplete. From the egoistic point of view this experiment is exclusively negative. From the altruistic point of view the motives are, it is true, very positive, but the social effects are still more negative. If all goes well, our virtuous and exalted girl will succeed in improving the drunkard, but if she procreates children, she will have unconsciously sinned against them, and her good action will result in the sins of the father being visited on the children.

(3). A man with marked hereditary taints, impulsive, psychopathic and possessed of a strong s.e.xual appet.i.te, marries an honest girl of good family, and has several children by her. Such an action is positive from the egoistic point of view, for the individual in question benefits himself. From the ethical point of view, it is negative, for it makes an honest woman unhappy, and probably leads to the procreation of children of bad quality.

(4). A man, healthy in body and mind, capable, hardworking and full of ideals, finds a suitable companion. Instead of leading an easy life, they both undertake as much work as possible, especially social duties, and procreate at sufficient intervals as many children as they can without injury to the health of the wife. This is an ideal combination of positive altruism with positive egoism.

It is not every one who has the good fortune to fulfill the conditions necessary for this combination. A positive s.e.xual morality is, however, by no means excluded in less favorable conditions. Certain psychopathic or feeble individuals may contract sterile marriages in the manner previously indicated, and may recompense themselves for the absence of children by devoting themselves all the more to social duties, or to the education of abandoned orphans.

When a union is concluded between a person who is capable in all respects, and another who is not, the latter should give the other permission to procreate children by a third party, more adapted to give rise to healthy offspring. Although this is immoral according to current conventional opinion, it seems to me that such a proceeding could become reconciled with positive morality in the future.

In short, whoever understands the true nature of s.e.xual ethics will always find a means of accomplis.h.i.+ng good actions and avoiding bad ones, at the same time satisfying his normal appet.i.tes, provided these injure no one.

The truly moral man will never become the accomplice of such a social iniquity as proxenetism with prost.i.tution and all its satellites, but will oppose them with all his power. He will always avoid doing wrong to any one by his s.e.xual appet.i.te; and if his pa.s.sion drives him to a thoughtless act, he will do his utmost to redress the bad effects which may result from it.

The psychological action produced by conjugal infidelity merits special attention. It depends on the more or less egoistic or altruistic qualities of the one who becomes enamored of a third person. I have observed the two chief varieties of cases. If the guilty husband has naturally moral and social sentiments, his extra-nuptial love renders him still more affectionate toward his legitimate wife. He eases his conscience by becoming more indulgent to his wife. When his amorous intoxication is over, he will try to avoid everything which may damage the reputation of the other woman, and will provide for her future. If there are children by this adultery, he will provide for them.

It is the same with a married woman who is in love with another man.

In this case the whole personality is more powerfully involved than in man. But on the other hand, the natural energy of the woman will lead her to try and arrange a marriage between her lover and some other good woman, and to resist coitus with him.

If the matter goes as far as complete infidelity, and even without it, various reactions may be observed. When her sentiments are monogamous, as is the case with most women, the love of a woman for her husband disappears and is replaced by pity. She easily becomes peevish in her resignation. She often seeks divorce, even when adultery has not taken place. When she is polyandrous, as is the case with many hysterical women, she is quite capable of lavis.h.i.+ng her caresses on her husband as well as her lover, a thing which is impossible for normal women.

What induces want of respect for his wife in the unfaithful egoist, is not so much the monogamous sentiment, which is somewhat exceptional in man, but intoxication of his senses by another woman. He then becomes miserly and disagreeable toward his wife, finding fault with her in every way, but the innocent and deceived victim finally discovers the true cause of this change of manner. Some women who are ill-treated in this way, preserve their love for their husbands, while others never pardon the slightest infidelity, not even an innocent platonic affection, in their husbands.

The brutality of a husband toward his wife, when he is in love with another, often knows no limits. From bad temper, chicanery, contempt and hatred, he often goes on to blows and even murder, as the annals of criminology prove too well. Egoistic women who have a lover, also treat their husbands badly. Owing to their legal subordination and comparative physical weakness, they reveal their sentiments in a less brutal form, but malice and bad temper are not wanting. In such cases, the woman's princ.i.p.al weapon is cunning, which may go as far as poisoning the husband. More commonly she simply abandons him, to force him to divorce.

There are many transitions and varieties, but the reactions we have mentioned are the most common. It is quite natural, when one of the conjoints falls in love with a third person, for the s.e.xual appet.i.te to become cold toward the conjoint, and for this frigidity to make her appear less desirable and show up her defects.

s.e.xual morality is twice mentioned in the ten commandments of Moses:

Seventh commandment: _Thou shall not commit adultery._

Tenth commandment: _Thy shall not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his man servant, nor his maid servant, nor his ox, nor his a.s.s, nor anything that is thy neighbor's._

In the eleventh commandment of Jesus Christ the words: _Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself_, represent approximately the point of view of modern ethics. Nevertheless contemporary social progress requires more and better. It is not so exalted as to say "Love those who persecute you," but it demands a more rational and better formulated ethics, somewhat as follows: _Thou shall love humanity more than thyself, and thou shalt seek thy happiness in the welfare of its future._ Such a formula expresses the commandment of s.e.xual ethics as we have defined it.

In the commandments of Moses the wife is regarded as property, and the desire for the wife of one's neighbor is threatened with divine punishment inasmuch as it covets the property of one's neighbor. When woman is treated as a free subject and as the equal and companion of man, it is evident that a fundamental revision of such ideas is requisite. Certain forms of adultery with voluntary consent on both sides may even become positive from the moral point of view.

_In spite of this, one of the princ.i.p.al tasks of man's s.e.xual morality will always be to restrain his erotic polygamous desires, for the simple reason that they are especially apt to injure the rights and the welfare of others._ We must make exception for certain special cases in which no one is injured. (Vide Couvreur's "_La Graine_," and de Maupa.s.sant's "_Mouche_.")

The novelist loves to treat of tragic situations, often giving them a fatal ending to excite the feelings of his readers. We must avoid basing s.e.xual ethics on such ideas. The average man, or even one whose nature is a little above the average, is rarely as pa.s.sionate as the heroes in novels. He does not commit suicide for rejected love, but finds compensation in time. He can even overcome jealousy.

It is thus an exaggeration, depending partly on the suggestion and auto-suggestion of amorous intoxication, to require in the ethics of love the absolute fusion of the personality of two human beings, a mutual fusion of sentiments and ideas destined to last till death.

This kind of morality reverts to dual egoism, and in no way represents the ideal of human happiness. However beautiful conjugal fidelity, its exaggeration is deplorable, when it only results in the idolatrous wors.h.i.+p of a single being, living or dead, and regards the rest of the world with indifference, if not with hostility.

We have already shown that the altruistic sentiments of man are the direct or indirect[10] derivatives of the s.e.xual appet.i.te, and especially of s.e.xual love. The true secret of s.e.xual ethics consists, therefore, in a cult of altruism in the s.e.xual domain. This cult should not waste itself in moral phrases, but show its strength by social deeds.

A sad proof of human weakness is given daily by certain forms of modern ethics which waste themselves in public conferences or in declamations in the press. This kind of morality is in accordance with pure egoism. Without social work, it is not true morality, whether this work be public or modestly hidden.

The struggle for existence was formerly carried on by man against nature, against animals, and especially against other men. Nature and animals (excepting the cosmic forces and microbes) are nowadays conquered by the human brain, and wars are seldom waged except between great empires, a fact which will sooner or later reduce them to absurdity. For this reason the morality of the G.o.d of war and of patriotic chauvinism has had his day and loses more and more his reason for existence. Modern ethics has already become a social and international human ethics, and will become more so in the future.

As in olden times a true hero knew how to combine love of his wife with love for his country, to obtain in his conjugal union the strength to fight for his ideal, so our modern love will serve to stimulate us in the pursuit of an ideal, in our fight for social welfare. Man and woman must fight side by side, as this struggle requires from both an intense and lifelong effort. But it is precisely in this effort, in this work, that they will obtain their highest enjoyment. This effort supports and strengthens not only the muscles, but especially the mind, the cerebral energy.

The struggle for social welfare prepares for us the highest and most ideal joy. It teaches man to master himself, to overcome his natural idleness, his desire for pleasure, his dependence on all kinds of futile habits and base appet.i.tes. It educates his will, curbs his weak and egoistic sentiments, while exercising his faculty for creating good and useful works. Thanks to this incessant strife, a brain of even mediocre quality may become a useful social instrument.

I ask in all sincerity if, living in the way we have just described, a man will find the time and inclination to indulge in the love stories which the novels of our libraries offer to readers of both s.e.xes for their daily consumption? I reply: if the man is normal, no. It is only pathological natures, with their exaggerated sentiment and morbid pa.s.sions, which remain incapable of mastering their pa.s.sionate emotionalism and reducing it to silence. Other individuals, normal or semi-normal, are artificially urged to exaggerated exaltation in the s.e.xual domain by idleness, by reading pernicious novels which excite their s.e.xual appet.i.te and their sentimentality, also by the artificial life and feverish activity of life in cities.

Work in itself is not sufficient, and every one ought to add social work to his ordinary occupation. In fact, the monotony of any special occupation, and even the exclusive work of a scientific speciality, ends by giving the cerebral energy itself an exclusive character. The moral sentiments become atrophied. Exclusiveness in a speciality, practiced without any complement, easily leads to exclusiveness in love (not in the s.e.xual appet.i.te!). We often see two egoists, or several in a family, working together to exploit the rest of society.

As long as they keep in good health and their business prospers, as long as the egoistic plans of a third party do not upset their calculations, they may remain faithful to each other and live in comparative happiness. But what else?

Whoever, on the contrary, has known how to combine with his conjugal love, a lively interest in humanity, will always find in the latter a consoling compensation for the greatest misfortunes and the most cruel losses. He will not fall into a state of despair, but will survive his trouble, and will become reconciled to men and society without expecting anything from them, for he will have been accustomed all his life to work in an impersonal manner.

If I am accused of being enthusiastic over an ideal which is impossible to attain, I protest strongly. Good habits may always be acquired, and true altruists are found among the most modest of men, among simple workingmen or peasants who comprehend and realize the ideal I have just depicted.

In Chapter XVII we shall see in what way the dispositions of the child can be and ought to be developed in the direction indicated. It is needless to say that pure egoists and perverse individuals, who are negative from the moral point of view, in other words natures which are evil and harmful by heredity, can never be educated so as to become altruists. But these perverse natures do not form the majority.

The great majority of men, although idle and indifferent, may still become habituated to social work by suitable education, as soon as the external forces which urge them to evil, such as drink and the greed for money, have been removed and replaced by beneficial forces.

Lastly, the whole attention of humanity should be directed toward its proper selection, so as to increase the number of useful individuals, and diminish or gradually eliminate the bad and incapable. But this is the work of many centuries of enlightenment and education, a work which we can only begin at present. We find ourselves here in face of one of the weakest points in human nature, a weakness which consists in only becoming enthusiastic over progress which will enable self to attain its object, and not help others. When self does not quickly obtain a palpable result, it is paralyzed and discouraged, and turns its back on reform under the most futile pretexts. I will give an example:

A young bachelor became enthusiastic over the social reform of abstinence from alcohol. For some years he worked with zeal, took part in numerous public demonstrations, and became an apostle of total abstinence. One day, after some failure, he turned his back on abstinence, declaring that the movement had no future. Nevertheless, the social movement of abstinence progressed without him. After some years, he was asked the reason why he had abandoned the movement.

After having first of all repeated his pretext, he confessed that he did not wish to appear eccentric. He admitted that he had never felt so well as when he was an abstainer, appeared somewhat astonished to learn that the movement had made so much progress without him, was finally convinced of his error, and promised to return to the camp of the faithful.

In common daily events of this kind lies the secret of the slow progress of every social reform. Men who are momentarily enthusiastic nearly always expect everything to progress according to their imagination, and when they see that it will be some time before any obvious result is attained, they become discouraged, because they have neither the personal courage nor the perseverance to remain in a minority and wait. The same want of perseverance, courage and judgment is found in the education of children, and it will take a long time to enlighten people on this subject.

It would seem that we have lost sight of our subject in occupying ourselves with the irradiation of love, which forms the object of social sentiments or ethics (vide Chapter V). But it is by exactly understanding and realizing this irradiation of love that we shall gradually suppress the unhealthy social aberrations of the s.e.xual appet.i.te, and prevent them doing harm, by guiding them in the path of a healthy morality. It is not the severe external constraint of so-called moral laws, it is not by the threats or punishments of h.e.l.l, nor the promise of paradise, nor the moral preachings of the priests, parents or pedagogues, nor an exalted asceticism, which can ever construct a healthy, just and lasting s.e.xual ethics. It is not by words that we recognize the value of moral precepts, but by their results. It is quite certain that the s.e.xual life of man can never rise above its present state without being freed from the bonds of mysticism and religious dogma, and based on a loyal and unequivocal human morality which will recognize the normal wants of humanity, always having as its princ.i.p.al object the welfare of posterity.

Marriage should be considered as a means of satisfying the s.e.xual appet.i.te, and at the same time a moral and social school of life; not as a refuge for egoism. Division of duties, absolute equality of rights and social work in common, will solidify more and more the s.e.xual bonds of two conjoints. By the aid of a better understanding of the wants of human society, the conjoints will learn how to overcome their egoistic sentiments, their polygamous inclinations, and their jealousy, etc.

In striving for happiness, and especially for the s.e.xual happiness of others, such conjoints will learn better how to excuse and pardon the s.e.xual failings of other men. They will cease to despise the poor man's household, the girl-mother, the divorced wife, the concubine, even the poor invert, and other failings in their fellow beings. On the contrary, they will do their utmost to make their lot a happier one, by helping all those for whom help may be efficacious. They will find their greatest pleasure in this work, and if one of them becomes himself the victim of some s.e.xual failing, he will be pardoned all the more easily, and will master it all the more quickly.

There will then be no time to make life bitter by bad temper, slander, acrimony, sulking and other conjugal disputes. The husband will no longer behave with the despotism of a lord and master, and the wife will no longer think it her duty to humble herself. Religious dogmas will no longer separate man from woman. Priests will no longer be required in marriage. Lastly, there will be no more fear of death; this will be regarded as a welcome rest after the long labor and duty fulfilled of a well-spent life.

I cannot help taxing with narrow-mindedness, and even unintelligence, persons who consider such an ideal of life as a fantasy impossible to realize, or as the product of exalted dreamers who do not know the world. No doubt this ideal cannot be attained by ill-constructed, unnatural beings, tainted by a morbid heredity, or depraved by idleness, vice and pa.s.sion for pleasure, who have lost their elasticity and plasticity of brain or have never possessed them. It has, however, been often realized already by men and women of better quality. It is, therefore, necessary to act on the children, both by education and selection, in order to obtain a youth of superior quality.

Let us not abandon the future of our race to the fatalism of Allah; let us create it ourselves!

FOOTNOTES:

[10] It is true that the friendly union of individuals of the same s.e.x is often fundamentally derived from the phylogenetic development of animal or human societies. But the sentiments of sympathy, on the sole basis of which such friendly unions may be developed, are only themselves the derivatives of the more primitive sentiments of sympathy of one individual for another, and these latter have originated in s.e.xual attraction.

CHAPTER XVI

THE s.e.xUAL QUESTION IN POLITICS AND IN POLITICAL ECONOMY