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There was an auld fisher--he sat by the wa', An' luikit oot ower the sea; The bairnies war playin', he smilit on them a', But the tear stude in his e'e.
An' it's oh to win awa', awa'!
An' it's oh to win awa'
Whaur the bairns come home, an' the wives they bide, An' G.o.d is the Father o' a'!
Jocky an' Jeamy an' Tammy oot there, A' i' the boatie gaed doon; An' I'm ower auld to fish ony mair, An' I hinna the chance to droon.
An' it's oh to win awa', awa'! &c.
An' Jeanie she grat to ease her hert, An' she easit hersel' awa'
But I'm ower auld for the tears to stert, An' sae the sighs maun blaw.
An' it's oh to win awa', awa'! &c.
Lord, steer me hame whaur my Lord has steerit, For I'm tired o' life's rockin' sea An' dinna be lang, for I'm nearhan' fearit 'At I'm 'maist ower auld to dee.
An' it's oh to win awa', awe'! &c.
Again the stars and the sky were all, and there was no sound but the slight murmurous lipping of the low swell against the edges of the planks. Then Clementina said:
"Did you make that song, Malcolm?"
"Whilk o' them, my leddy?--But it's a' ane--they're baith mine, sic as they are."
"Thank you," she returned.
"What for, my leddy?"
"For speaking Scotch to me."
"I beg your pardon, my lady. I forgot your ladys.h.i.+p was English."
"Please forget it," she said. "But I thank you for your songs too.
It was the second I wanted to know about; the first I was certain was your own. I did not know you could enter like that into the feelings of an old man."
"Why not, my lady? I never can see living thing without asking it how it feels. Often and often, out here at such a time as this, have I tried to fancy myself a herring caught by the gills in the net down below, instead of the fisherman in the boat above going to haul him out."
"And did you succeed?"
"Well, I fancy I came to understand as much of him as he does himself. It's a merry enough life down there. The flukes--plaice, you call them, my lady,--bother me, I confess. I never contemplate one without feeling as if I had been sat upon when I was a baby.
But for an old man!--Why, that's what I shall be myself one day most likely, and it would be a shame not to know pretty nearly how he felt--near enough at least to make a song about him."
"And shan't you mind being an old man, then, Malcolm?"
"Not in the least, my lady. I shall mind nothing so long as I can trust in the maker of me. If my faith should give way--why then there would be nothing worth minding either! I don't know but I should kill myself."
"Malcolm!"
"Which is worse, my lady--to distrust G.o.d, or to think life worth having without him?"
"But one may hope in the midst of doubt--at least that is what Mr Graham--and you--have taught me to do."
"Yes, surely, my lady. I won't let anyone beat me at that, if I can help it. And I think that so long as I kept my reason, I should be able to cry out, as that grandest and most human of all the prophets did--'Though he slay me yet will I trust in him.' But would you not like to sleep, my lady?"
"No, Malcolm. I would much rather hear you talk,--Could you not tell me a story now? Lady Lossie mentioned one you once told her about an old castle somewhere not far from here."
"Eh, my leddy!" broke in Annie Mair, who had waked up while they were speaking, "I wuss ye wad gar him tell ye that story, for my man he's h'ard 'im tell't, an' he says it's unco gruesome: I wad fain hear 't.--Wauk up, Lizzy," she went on, in her eagerness waiting for no answer; "Ma'colm's gauin' to tell 's the tale o'
the auld castel o' Colonsay.--It's oot by yon'er, my leddy-- 'no that far frae the Deid Heid.--Wauk up, Lizzy."
"I'm no sleepin', Annie," said Lizzy, "--though like Ma'colm's auld man," she added with a sigh, "I wad whiles fain be."
Now there were reasons why Malcolm should not be unwilling to tell the strange wild story requested of him, and he commenced it at once, but modified the Scotch of it considerably for the sake of the unaccustomed ears. When it was ended Clementina said nothing; Annie Mair said "Hech, sirs!" and Lizzy with a great sigh, remarked,
"The deil maun be in a'thing whaur G.o.d hasna a han', I'm thinkin'."
"Ye may tak yer aith upo' that," rejoined Malcolm.
It was a custom in Peter's boat never to draw the nets without a prayer, uttered now by one and now by another of the crew. Upon this occasion, whether it was in deference to Malcolm, who, as he well understood, did not like long prayers, or that the presence of Clementina exercised some restraint upon his spirit, out of the bows of the boat came now the solemn voice of its master, bearing only this one sentence:
"Oh Thoo, wha didst tell thy dissiples to cast the net upo' the side whaur swam the fish, gien it be thy wull 'at we catch the nicht, lat 's catch; gien it binna thy wull, lat 's no catch.--Haul awa', my laads."
Up sprang the men, and went each to his place, and straight a torrent of gleaming fish was pouring in over the gunwale of the boat. Such a take it was ere the last of the nets was drawn, as the oldest of them had seldom seen. Thousands of fish there were that had never got into the meshes at all.
"I cannot understand it," said Clementina. "There are mult.i.tudes more fish than there are meshes in the nets to catch them: if they are not caught, why do they not swim away?"
"Because they are drowned, my lady," answered Malcolm.
"What do you mean by that? How can you drown a fish?"
"You may call it suffocated if you like, my lady; it is all the same. You have read of panic stricken people, when a church or a theatre is on fire, rus.h.i.+ng to the door all in a heap, and crowding each other to death? It is something like that with the fish. They are swimming along in a great shoal, yards thick; and when the first can get no farther, that does not at once stop the rest, any more than it would in a crowd of people; those that are behind come pressing up into every corner, where there is room, till they are one dense ma.s.s. Then they push and push to get forward, and can't get through, and the rest come still crowding on behind and above and below, till a mult.i.tude of them are jammed so tight against each other that they can't open their gills; and even if they could, there would not be air enough for them. You've seen the goldfish in the swan basin, my lady, how they open and shut their gills constantly: that's their way of getting air out of the water by some wonderful contrivance n.o.body understands, for they need breath just as much as we do: and to close their gills is to them the same as closing a man's mouth and nose. That's how the most of those herrings are taken."
All were now ready to seek the harbour. A light westerly wind was still blowing, with the aid of which, heavy laden, they crept slowly to the land. As she lay snug and warm, with the cool breath of the sea on her face, a half sleep came over Clementina, and she half dreamed that she was voyaging in a s.h.i.+p of the air, through infinite regions of s.p.a.ce, with a destination too glorious to be known.
The herring boat was a living splendour of strength and speed, its sails were as the wings of a will, in place of the instruments of a force, and softly as mightily it bore them through the charmed realms of dreamland towards the ideal of the soul. And yet the herring boat but crawled over the still waters with its load of fish, as the harvest waggon creeps over the field with its piled up sheaves; and she who imagined its wondrous speed was the only one who did not desire it should move faster.
No word pa.s.sed between her and Malcolm all their homeward way.
Each was brooding over the night and its joy that enclosed them together, and hoping for that which was yet to be shaken from the lap of the coming time.
Also Clementina had in her mind a scheme for attempting what Malcolm had requested of her; the next day must see it carried into effect; and ever and anon, like a cold blast of doubt invading the bliss of confidence, into the heart of that sea borne peace darted the thought, that, if she failed, she must leave at once for England, for she would not again meet Liftore.
CHAPTER LXVII: Sh.o.r.e
At last they glided once more through the stony jaws of the harbour, as if returning again to the earth from a sojourn in the land of the disembodied. When Clementina's foot touched the sh.o.r.e she felt like one waked out of a dream, from whom yet the dream has not departed--but keeps floating about him, waved in thinner and yet thinner streams from the wings of the vanis.h.i.+ng sleep.
It seemed almost as if her spirit, instead of having come back to the world of its former abode, had been borne across the parting waters and landed on the sh.o.r.e of the immortals. There was the ghostlike harbour of the spirit land, the water gleaming betwixt its dark walls, one solitary boat motionless upon it, the men moving about like shadows in the star twilight! Here stood three women and a man on the sh.o.r.e, and save the stars no light shone, and from the land came no sound of life. Was it the dead of the night, or a day that had no sun? It was not dark, but the light was rayless.
Or, rather, it was as if she had gained the power of seeing in the dark.
Suppressed sleep wove the stuff of a dream around her, and the stir at her heart kept it alive with dream forms. Even the voice of Peter's Annie, saying, "I s' bide for my man. Gude nicht, my leddy," did not break the charm. Her heart shaped that also into the dream. Turning away with Malcolm and Lizzy, she pa.s.sed along the front of the Seaton.
How still, how dead, how empty like cenotaphs, all the cottages looked! How the sea which lay like a watcher at their doors, murmured in its sleep! Arrived at the entrance to her own close, Lizzy next bade them good night, and Clementina and Malcolm were left.