Redemption and two other plays Part 78

BETSY. I'll try to come.

OLD PRINCESS. Then tell your papa that I don't believe in anything of the kind, but will come to see his new medium. Only he must let me know when. Good afternoon, ma toute belle.

[Kisses BETSY, and exit, followed by her daughter. BETSY goes upstairs.

GREGORY. I don't like putting on an old woman's overshoes for her; she can't stoop, can't see her shoe for her stomach, and keeps poking her foot in the wrong place. It's different with a young one; it's pleasant to take her foot in one's hand.

SECOND FOOTMAN. Hear him! Making distinctions!

FIRST FOOTMAN. It's not for us footmen to make such distinctions.

GREGORY. Why shouldn't one make distinctions; are we not men? It's they think we don't understand! Just now they were deep in their talk, then they look at me, and at once it's "lay zhon!"

SECOND FOOTMAN. And what's that?

GREGORY. Oh, that means, "Don't talk, they understand!" It's the same at table. But I understand! You say, there's a difference? I say there is none.

FIRST FOOTMAN. There is a great difference for those who understand.

GREGORY. There is none at all. To-day I am a footman, and to-morrow I may be living no worse than they are. Has it never happened that they've married footmen? I'll go and have a smoke.

[Exit.

SECOND FOOTMAN. That's a bold young man you've got.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. A worthless fellow, not fit for service. He used to be an office boy and has got spoilt. I advised them not to take him, but the mistress liked him. He looks well on the carriage when they drive out.

FIRST FOOTMAN. I should like to send him to our Count; he'd put him in his place! Oh, he don't like those scatterbrains. "If you're a footman, be a footman and fulfil your calling." Such pride is not befitting.

[PETRiSTCHEF comes running downstairs, and takes out a cigarette.

PETRiSTCHEF (deep in thought). Let's see, my second is the same as my first. Echo, a-co, co-coa. (Enter KOKO KLiNGEN, wearing his pince-nez.) Ko-ko, co-coa. Cocoa tin, where do you spring from?

KOKO KLiNGEN. From the Stcherbakofs. You are always playing the fool....

PETRiSTCHEF. No, listen to my charade. My first is the same as my second, my third may be cracked, my whole is like your pate.

KOKO KLiNGEN. I give it up. I've no time.

PETRiSTCHEF. Where else are you going?

KOKO KLiNGEN. Where? Of course to the Ivins, to practice for the concert. Then to the s...o...b..ns, and then to the rehearsal. You'll be there too, won't you?

PETRiSTCHEF. Most certainly. At the re-her-Sall and also at the re-her-Sarah. Why, at first I was a savage, and now I am both a savage and a general.

KOKO KLiNGEN. How did yesterday's seance go off?

PETRiSTCHEF. Screamingly funny! There was a peasant, and above all, it was all in the dark. Vovo cried like an infant, the Professor defined, and Marya Vasilevna refined. Such a lark! You ought to have been there.

KOKO KLiNGEN. I'm afraid, mon cher. You have a way of getting off with a jest, but I always feel that if I say a word they'll construe it into a proposal. Et ca ne m'arrange pas du tout, du tout. Mais du tout, du tout! [17]

PETRiSTCHEF. Instead of a proposal, make a proposition, and receive a sentence! Well, I shall go in to Vovo's. If you'll call for me, we can go to the re-her-Sarah together.

KOKO KLiNGEN. I can't think how you can be friends with such a fool.

He is so stupid--a regular blockhead!

PETRiSTCHEF. And I am fond of him. I love Vovo, but ... "with a love so strange, ne'er towards him the path untrod shall be"....

[Exit into Vovo's room.

[BETSY comes down with a LADY. KOKO bows significantly to BETSY.

BETSY (shaking KOKO'S hand without turning towards him. To LADY). You are acquainted?

LADY. No.

BETSY. Baron Klingen.... Why were you not here last night?

KOKO KLiNGEN. I could not come, I was engaged.

BETSY. What a pity, it was so interesting! (Laughs.) You should have seen what manifestations we had! Well, how is our charade getting on?

KOKO KLiNGEN. Oh, the verses for mon second are ready. Nick composed the verses, and I the music.

BETSY. What are they? What are they? Do tell me!

KOKO KLiNGEN. Wait a minute; how does it go?... Oh, the knight sings:

"Oh, naught so beautiful as nature: The Nautilus sails by.

Oh, naughty la.s.s, oh, naughty la.s.s!

Oh, nought, oh, nought! Oh, fie!"

LADY. I see, my second is "nought," and what is my first?

KOKO KLiNGEN. My first is Aero, the name of a girl savage.

BETSY. Aero, you see, is a savage who wished to devour the object of her love. (Laughs.) She goes about lamenting, and sings--

"My appet.i.te,"

KOKO KLiNGEN (interrupts)--

"How can I fight,"....

BETSY (chimes in)--

"Some one to chew I long.

I seeking go ...."