The Gibson Upright Part 11

GIBSON: Come in! n.o.body here but friends of yours. Sit down. I'd like to hear what the argument was about.

[MRS. SIMPSON _is a large woman, domineering and noisy, dressed somewhat expensively. She is proud of some new furs and a pair of quite fancy shoes._ SIMPSON _has a new suit of clothes and a gold-headed cane._

FRANKEL _wears a cheap cutaway suit and is smoking a cigar._]

MRS. SIMPSON: I don't care who hears the argument! Right's right and wrong's wrong!

FRANKEL: You bet right's right, and so's my rights right!

MRS. SIMPSON: You ain't got any rights.

FRANKEL [_hotly to everybody_]: Do you hear she says I ain't got no rights at all?

MRS. SIMPSON: You ain't got the rights you claim you got.

FRANKEL: She comes down there and tries to run the whole factory. Ask any of 'em if she don't. Ask Carter!

MRS. SIMPSON: I own that factory just as much as anybody does.

SIMPSON: Now, Frankel, you be careful what you say to Mamie!

FRANKEL: I got shares in that factory and by rights ought to have as many votes at the meetin' as I got shares--let alone your talking about trying to root me out of my profits!

GIBSON: What's this about Frankel having shares?

FRANKEL [_violently_]: You bet your life I got shares! And I'm going to have my shares of the money at that meetin' to-morrow!

MRS. SIMPSON: You bet your life you ain't!

SIMPSON: You think we're goin' to vote all our profits away to you?

CARTER: Wait a minute! Ain't I the chairman of that--

MRS. SIMPSON: You may be chairman yet--but not long!

FRANKEL [_sharply to_ CARTER]: You just try to rule me out once!

GIBSON: What's it all about?

MRS. SIMPSON: I'll soon enough tell anybody what it's about!

FRANKEL: You couldn't tell nothing straight!

CARTER [_deprecatingly_]: Now, now, this here's just one of our little side difficulties, you might say. What's the use to git huffy over it, we're gittin' along so well and all? The trouble is, some o' the men and their families ain't been used to so much prosperity and money in the house that way, all of a sudden. Of course some of 'em got to living too high and run into some debt and everything.

FRANKEL: Well, what business is that of yours? The factory ain't a Home, is it? And you ain't the Matron, are you?

CARTER: I don't claim such!

FRANKEL: It's my business, ain't it, if I take and live on the cheaps and put by for a rainy day, and happen to have money when other people need it from me?

SIMPSON: _That_ much may be your business, but I reckon it was our business when you come blowin' round the factory, first that you owned seven shares besides your own; then, a week after, you says seventeen; then--

GIBSON: Well, how many shares has he got?

SIMPSON: He was claimin' twenty-four yesterday.

MRS. SIMPSON [_violently_]: He's bought two more since last night. Now he claims twenty-six!

FRANKEL: Yes; and I _own_ twenty-six!

CARTER: That ain't never goin' to do! I don't say it's a condition as you might say we exactly see how to handle right now, but the way it is, you certainly got us all disturbed up and hard to git at the rights of it. You claimin' all them shares--

FRANKEL: Well, my goodness, you git the _work_ fer them shares, don't you? What you yelpin' about?

CARTER: I don't say we don't git the same amount o' work, but--

FRANKEL: Well, _how_ you git it, that's my lookout, ain't it, so it's done?

CARTER: But you claim you got a right to draw out twenty-six profits!

FRANKEL: Sure I do when I furnish the labour for twenty-six. Am I crazy?

CARTER: But that way you're makin' more than any ten men put together in the whole factory!

FRANKEL: Ain't it just? What you goin' to do about it?

[_During this speech_ s...o...b..RG _has come along the street and stands looking over the gate._]

CARTER: Well, so fur, we ain't been able to see how to argue with you.

It don't look right, and yet it's hard to find jest what to say to you.

FRANKEL: You bet it is!

CARTER: 'Course, that's one of the points that's got to be settled at the meeting to-morrow.

FRANKEL: You bet it'll be settled!

MRS. SIMPSON: If we had another kind of a chairman it'd been settled long ago, and settled right!

CARTER: Now look here, Mrs. Simpson--

FRANKEL [_pa.s.sionately_]: I got twenty-six shares, and I earned 'em, too! [_To_ GIBSON.] Look at the trouble they make me--to git my legal rights, let alone the rest the trouble I got! [_Fiercely to_ CARTER _and to_ SIMPSON]: Yes, I had twenty-four shares yesterday and I got twenty-six to-day! and I might have another by to-night. Don't think I'm the only one that's got sense enough not to go smearin' his money all round on cheap limousines and Queen Anne dinin'-room sets at eighty-nine dollars per! [_Dramatically pointing at_ s...o...b..RG]: There's a man worth four shares right now! He had three and he bought Mitch.e.l.l's out last night at Steinwitz's pool room. Ask him whether he thinks I got a right to my twenty-six profits or not!

s...o...b..RG: You bet your life!

MRS. SIMPSON: I guess that Dutchman hasn't got the say-so, has he?

FRANKEL: No. _You_ run the factory now, Mrs. Simpson!