Social Life Part 12

_On Tuesday, March 6th, at 8 o'clock._

_34 Ashland Boulevard._

_The favor of an answer is requested._]

_R.S.V.P._ can be subst.i.tuted for the last phrase, if desired. If the host be a widower with a young lady daughter, the invitation can be issued in the name of father and daughter, as: "Mr. and Miss Van Vleit, etc.," or, a lady and her daughter, under similar circ.u.mstances, would issue invitations in the name of "Mrs. Holt and Miss Holt."

Persons who make a point of strictly observing the usages of polite society are extremely careful, having received any invitation, to take immediate notice of it, according to proper form. This is only a courtesy due to the one who has sent the invitation, which should be accepted or declined promptly, in order that the hostess may know what to depend upon.

If the dinner party is given to introduce either a friend or some person of distinction, an extra card, inscribed as follows, is enclosed in the same envelope: To meet MR. ----. Another form would be:

[Ill.u.s.tration:

_Mr. and Mrs. Jackson_

_Request the pleasure of_

_Mr. and Mrs. Brown's_

_Company at dinner,_

_To meet Robert Browning,_

_Thursday, October 8th at seven o'clock._

_692 Arch Street._

_R.S.V.P._]

It is well, if the party is given in honor of some celebrated person, to give them the choice of several dates before issuing the general invitation, thus a.s.suring yourself that no conflicting engagement will rob the entertainment of its bright, particular star. An invitation to a dinner is the highest social compliment that can be offered. It should be sent out about ten days in advance, and requires an immediate and positive answer, for it is to be supposed that the hostess wishes to make up her table at once. Both invitation and answer should be sent by messenger; all other invitations, and replies to the same, may be sent by mail. In London, however, where distances are so great, all invitations, without exception, are sent by post.

In case of an informal dinner, a verbal invitation is sometimes sent, one or two days beforehand, by a servant, and a verbal answer is given at the time. The princ.i.p.al objection against this method is that the date, having no written reminder, may be confounded with some other engagement. Where the affair is not too stately, an informal invitation, written in the first person, may be pleasantly exchanged between friend and friend. For instance:

MY DEAR MRS. ROE:

My aunt, Mrs. LeFevre, of New York City, is here with me for a short stay, and Mr. Doe and I hope that you and Mr. Roe can give us the pleasure of your company at dinner, on Tuesday, October ninth, at seven o'clock, when, with a few other friends, we hope to pa.s.s a pleasant hour in your society.

Cordially yours,

MARIAN DOE

_Mrs. Marian Doe, St. Caroline's Court._

Asking for Invitations.

Asking for invitations for one's visiting friends, while permissible on some occasions, such as requesting the favor of bringing a gentleman to a ball where dancing men are always at a premium, or an unexpected guest of your family to a reception or evening party, should never be resorted to when a dinner party is in question, for, to gratify the request would, in all probability, throw the whole of a carefully arranged table into disorder. This rule is only to be broken when the guest to be included is some really celebrated character whose addition to the company would compensate for the extra covers to be laid and the re-arrangements to be made before the unexpected guest can be accommodated. No one, however, should feel offense when a request of this nature is refused. The hostess, in all probability, had good and sufficient reasons for her course of action. Invitations for a married couple should never be requested.

Evening Parties, b.a.l.l.s and "At Homes."

Invitations to these entertainments are issued in the name of the hostess only, and are sent out from ten days to two weeks in advance.

Informal occasions, however, give very short notice, and it is well to use the word "informal" in the invitation, that guests may not put themselves to inconvenience as regards dress. It must be remembered that this term is too often misleading in its nature, and many a sensitive guest has been seriously annoyed by finding herself, after a too literal interpretation of the "informal" character of the entertainment, in a crowd of gay b.u.t.terflies, a misuse of the word that should be seriously protested against.

Invitations to evening parties and private b.a.l.l.s are less elaborate than formerly; the word "party" or "ball" is never used unless on the occasion of some public affair, such as a charity ball, but any especial feature of the evening may be mentioned in the invitation.

To an evening party where dancing may, or may not, be a feature of the entertainment, the following, either engraved or written on a small sheet of note paper, is a very good form:

[Ill.u.s.tration:

_Mrs. Stuyvesant Wentworth_

_Requests the pleasure of the company of_

_Mr. and Mrs. Mark Cowden,_

_On Wednesday evening, July 4th,_

_At nine o' clock._

_Informal._]

All invitations are to be considered as "formal" unless the word "informal" appears on the card. If the card states that the entertainment is to be "informal," the invited guest is fully justified in considering it so, and dressing accordingly. Neither host, hostess, nor other guests can take any exception if the invitation is treated just as it reads.

If dancing is the feature of the evening, the same form may be used with the word "Dancing" added in the lower left hand corner. Or:

[Ill.u.s.tration:

_Mrs. John Burrows,_

_At Home,_

_Thursday evening, October first,_

_At nine o'clock._

_1080 LeFrance Avenue._

_Quadrilles at ten._]

If the ball is at a public place, as at Delmonico's, in New York, the following form is appropriate, always making use, in case of so public an entertainment, of the host's name in connection with that of the hostess:

[Ill.u.s.tration:

_Mr. and Mrs. George Douglas_

_Request the pleasure of your company,_

_Thursday evening, December twelfth,_