Social Life Part 24

The bride can slip away at any time, to reappear in traveling costume, and bidding a quick farewell, disappear from the company, who, after this, begin to disperse.

One most pleasant custom, English in its origin, should not be forgotten; it is that of remembering all the servants with some little gift as a souvenir of the occasion.

Invitations to Church Weddings.

There is a good deal of dispute in regard to the etiquette of acknowledgment of a card for a church wedding. Some high authorities a.s.sert that the invitation is so general and means so little particular attention that no notice need be taken of it except in the regular line of future visits to the bride and to the bride's mother.

But one of our American social oracles declares that a card is obligatory at the hour of the wedding, if one cannot attend, and that if the house address is unknown, this card should be sent to the church. If this is necessary, most people err woefully, for few non-attendants send the card.

For church weddings everything pertains to formality, and the invitation as well as the ceremony is impressive in all details. The names of the parents heading the invitation are now more often written in full, thus insuring a good-looking line at the top of the note. The line, "request the honor of your presence," almost invariably appears on a church invitation with "honor" spelled with a "u."

The names of bride and groom are separated by the little word "to,"

although some consider "and" quite as proper.

The omission of the prefix "Miss" from the daughter's name is customary on an invitation but should never occur when the bride is a sister, cousin or niece of the people issuing the invitations. If a widow is re-marrying, she uses the prefix "Mrs." with her Christian names and the surname of her deceased husband. If the bride is an orphan, with no one to issue the invitations for her, the heading reads, "The honor of your presence is requested," etc. When the bride has more names than one it is customary to use all.

The address of a well-known church is generally omitted, although it is frequently a convenience for out-of-town friends to know it. Names of churches ending with "s," as Saint Thomas, are written with an apostrophe "s"--thus, Saint Thomas's.

Dress for the Occasion.

The Bride's Dress may be as elegant as desired, or as simple, but it is to be hoped that the custom of using pure white in the composition of the toilet will not be superseded by any pa.s.sing freak of Dame Fas.h.i.+on's for softly tinted bridal robes. This innovation should be stoutly resisted by all brides-to-be. If the white robe is simple in material, a simple style should be chosen for the making; richer goods allow of more elaboration. The bride wears no jewels, and the typical orange-blossoms and myrtle are supposed to crown her brow. As a fact, however, other white flowers, such as roses, lilacs, lilies-of-the-valley, are more frequently chosen.

Where the wedding decorations are of one flower exclusively, that blossom alone figures in the bridal wreath and bouquet. Some High Church brides carry an ivory or silver-bound prayer-book in preference to flowers; thus a.s.sociating it with the most sacred vows of their life and hoping to preserve it as an heirloom in the family.

White shoes and gloves are to be worn with this toilet. The best taste prescribes a high corsage for the bridal costume, and sleeves either to the elbow or longer, in either case to be met by the long kid gloves. This gives a certain modesty to the toilet that is in keeping with the occasion. By many brides who expect to wear their bridal costume to after evening entertainments, the wedding gown is frequently supplied with two corsages; the high for the wedding day and the low for evening wear.

The Veil is usually of thin, sheer tulle, as this is most becoming to the face, but those brides who can display fine old point on this occasion will be very apt so to do. If the bridal costume is to be worn on any other occasion, it must be divested of orange-blossoms and worn without the veil.

The above-described costume is appropriate for either a morning or evening wedding. Brides, who are married in traveling costume, should wear a bonnet rather than a hat.

The Groom's Dress is decided by the hour at which the wedding takes place. If it is in the evening, the conventional evening dress is imperative. Black suit, dress coat, low-cut waistcoat, white tie, white or pale pearl-colored gloves, thin patent leather shoes and possibly a white flower in the b.u.t.tonhole, const.i.tute proper costume.

Morning Costume.

At a morning wedding, that is, one taking place at any hour between ten and seven (before which time a dress suit can by no possibility appear) full morning costume is worn by the groom. This consists of a dark frock coat, dark waistcoat and lighter trousers; a stiff hat, a light scarf and gloves if desired. The gloves should be light but not evening tints; pale tan or gray being suitable. The Groomsmen's Dress is decided by the hour and by the dress of the groom, of which it is a faithful copy.

The Usher's Dress follows the same law as that of the groomsmen, save that if wedding favors are worn it is by the ushers only. The other gentlemen present will find it well to copy the same styles, save that those only who are immediately connected with the ceremony are expected to wear white gloves.

The Bridemaid's Dress has been already described.

Friends in Mourning are expected to lay aside their somber robings for this hour. Even the widowed mother is bound to don either a pale gray, or a deep purple, costume for the occasion, the presence of black at so joyous a moment always casting a certain shadow over the party.

The Traveling Dress. This is occasionally worn by brides who do not wish to incur the haste and annoyance of changing their costume before leaving for the bridal tour. This is done at times even when the ceremony is performed in church, but is almost always resorted to where the wedding is quiet. Sometimes this dress is as elaborate as is at all consistent with good taste for traveling, and when this is the case it is usually exchanged for the regulation traveling gown at the first stopping place in their journey. More frequently, and more appropriately, the plain tailor-made suit, with gloves and hat in harmony, is made to do duty. In any case where the bride chooses to wear a traveling costume, even should the ceremony be performed in the evening, the groom will wear a morning costume.

A Quiet Wedding.

To many people the idea of so much splendor and ceremony on the occasion of their marriage has in it something distasteful, and to others the physical weariness thereby incurred is almost an impossibility. In this case the quietest of ceremonies may be chosen.

It may take place in church if the bride desire this further seal of solemnity set upon the service, with parents and one or two friends for witnesses; or at home with the family and clergyman only present, the bridal couple being driven from thence directly to the depot if the stereotyped wedding tour is to follow.

Re-marriage.

A widow, re-marrying, no matter how youthful she may be, is prohibited from wearing the white gown, veil and orange-blossoms of the bride.

Neither may she surround herself with a bevy of bridemaids. Her wedding, to be absolutely correct, should be quietly solemnized and her garb a traveling dress.

Still, if she should wish, she may wear the most elegant of tinted silks, the most elaborate in make-up, and have a large and elegant a.s.sembly to witness her marriage and partic.i.p.ate in its festivities, but no bridemaids are allowable.

At a church wedding she should be attended by her father, brother, other male relative, or some friend. She should always remove the first wedding ring from her finger before the service and not again a.s.sume it. Invitations to the marriage of a widow are engraved with her whole name, maiden and married, thus: ELIZABETH STUART FIELDING.

If she have sons or unmarried daughters at the time of her second marriage she should prefix their last name to her new one on all ceremonious occasions in which they also are interested, thus: MRS.

STUART FIELDING GRANT and MISS FIELDING, At Home. 20 Grosvenor Square.

The Ring.

The fourth finger of the left hand, counting from the thumb, is the finger upon which the engagement and wedding rings are worn. The engagement ring varies in extravagance according to the means of the groom, and has almost always a set of some description; the wedding ring is always the same, a plain, round-edged band of gold. Initials and dates may be engraved in both.

The engagement ring is usually worn afterward as a guard for the wedding ring. As to its setting there is a wide lat.i.tude given wherein all the pretty conceits and superst.i.tions attached to precious stones may be exercised at will. The German consider pearls unlucky for brides, as significant of tears. Birth-month stones may be used, even the fateful opal losing its power for harm when worn by an October maiden. The turquoise is perhaps the favored of precious stones for this purpose. The old Persian proverb says that "He that hath a turquoise hath a friend." Its known power of turning pale under certain climatic influences has invested it in story with the power of not only warding off evil influences, rendering its wearer constant and a.s.suring success in love, but still more of revealing by a certain pallor of coloring, coming danger or the existence of inconstancy in its wearer. It is also said that in case of a fall the turquoise takes all injury upon itself; the stone being fractured and the owner being uninjured. Add to this the item that the stone must be a gift, not a purchase, to possess these marvelous powers, and it will be seen that it is admirably suited to adorn an engagement ring. The diamond is another very appropriate stone for this purpose, either _solitaire_ or in cl.u.s.ter.

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE WEDDING GIFT.]

Reception Days.

It is necessary for the bride to include her new address with her wedding invitations, unless, as is still more "chic," cards for several reception days are issued after her return. These dates being fixed, it is then that first calls may be made upon her at her new residence with the happy certainty of finding her at home.

At these quiet, informal receptions, she receives simply as a member of society, wearing usually a rich, dark silk without any reminders of her recent bridehood.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.

The wedding anniversaries are numerous, but only a few of these are habitually observed. Paper, wooden, tin, crystal, silver and golden are the favorite ones, the others being so rare as to hardly merit being included in the list.

The following complete list of the anniversaries, with the respective dates of their occurrence, may be useful for reference:

First Anniversary Paper Wedding.

Second Anniversary Cotton Wedding.

Third Anniversary Leather Wedding.

Fifth Anniversary Wooden Wedding.

Seventh Anniversary Woolen Wedding.

Tenth Anniversary Tin Wedding.

Twelfth Anniversary Silk and Linen Wedding.

Fifteenth Anniversary Crystal Wedding.

Twentieth Anniversary China (sometimes Floral) Wedding.

Twenty-Fifth Anniversary Silver Wedding.

Thirtieth Anniversary Pearl Wedding.