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So, for the time being there was love-making, the usual billing and cooing of lovers in a simple and much less than final fas.h.i.+on; and the lovely horseback rides together under the green trees of the approaching spring were idyllic. Cowperwood awakened to a sense of joy in life such as he fancied, in the blush of this new desire, he had never experienced before. Lillian had been lovely in those early days in which he had first called on her in North Front Street, and he had fancied himself unspeakably happy at that time; but that was nearly ten years since, and he had forgotten. Since then he had had no great pa.s.sion, no notable liaison; and then, all at once, in the midst of his new, great business prosperity, Aileen. Her young body and soul, her pa.s.sionate illusions.
He could see always, for all her daring, that she knew so little of the calculating, brutal world with which he was connected. Her father had given her all the toys she wanted without stint; her mother and brothers had coddled her, particularly her mother. Her young sister thought she was adorable. No one imagined for one moment that Aileen would ever do anything wrong. She was too sensible, after all, too eager to get up in the world. Why should she, when her life lay open and happy before her--a delightful love-match, some day soon, with some very eligible and satisfactory lover?
"When you marry, Aileen," her mother used to say to her, "we'll have a grand time here. Sure we'll do the house over then, if we don't do it before. Eddie will have to fix it up, or I'll do it meself. Never fear."
"Yes--well, I'd rather you'd fix it now," was her reply.
Butler himself used to strike her jovially on the shoulder in a rough, loving way, and ask, "Well, have you found him yet?" or "Is he hanging around the outside watchin' for ye?"
If she said, "No," he would reply: "Well, he will be, never fear--worse luck. I'll hate to see ye go, girlie! You can stay here as long as ye want to, and ye want to remember that you can always come back."
Aileen paid very little attention to this bantering. She loved her father, but it was all such a matter of course. It was the commonplace of her existence, and not so very significant, though delightful enough.
But how eagerly she yielded herself to Cowperwood under the spring trees these days! She had no sense of that ultimate yielding that was coming, for now he merely caressed and talked to her. He was a little doubtful about himself. His growing liberties for himself seemed natural enough, but in a sense of fairness to her he began to talk to her about what their love might involve. Would she? Did she understand? This phase of it puzzled and frightened Aileen a little at first. She stood before him one afternoon in her black riding-habit and high silk riding-hat perched jauntily on her red-gold hair; and striking her riding-skirt with her short whip, pondering doubtfully as she listened. He had asked her whether she knew what she was doing? Whither they were drifting? If she loved him truly enough? The two horses were tethered in a thicket a score of yards away from the main road and from the bank of a tumbling stream, which they had approached. She was trying to discover if she could see them. It was pretense. There was no interest in her glance.
She was thinking of him and the smartness of his habit, and the exquisiteness of this moment. He had such a charming calico pony. The leaves were just enough developed to make a diaphanous lacework of green. It was like looking through a green-spangled arras to peer into the woods beyond or behind. The gray stones were already faintly messy where the water rippled and sparkled, and early birds were calling--robins and blackbirds and wrens.
"Baby mine," he said, "do you understand all about this? Do you know exactly what you're doing when you come with me this way?"
"I think I do."
She struck her boot and looked at the ground, and then up through the trees at the blue sky.
"Look at me, honey."
"I don't want to."
"But look at me, sweet. I want to ask you something."
"Don't make me, Frank, please. I can't."
"Oh yes, you can look at me."
"No."
She backed away as he took her hands, but came forward again, easily enough.
"Now look in my eyes."
"I can't."
"See here."
"I can't. Don't ask me. I'll answer you, but don't make me look at you."
His hand stole to her cheek and fondled it. He petted her shoulder, and she leaned her head against him.
"Sweet, you're so beautiful," he said finally, "I can't give you up. I know what I ought to do. You know, too, I suppose; but I can't. I must have you. If this should end in exposure, it would be quite bad for you and me. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"I don't know your brothers very well; but from looking at them I judge they're pretty determined people. They think a great deal of you."
"Indeed, they do." Her vanity prinked slightly at this.
"They would probably want to kill me, and very promptly, for just this much. What do you think they would want to do if--well, if anything should happen, some time?"
He waited, watching her pretty face.
"But nothing need happen. We needn't go any further."
"Aileen!"
"I won't look at you. You needn't ask. I can't."
"Aileen! Do you mean that?"
"I don't know. Don't ask me, Frank."
"You know it can't stop this way, don't you? You know it. This isn't the end. Now, if--" He explained the whole theory of illicit meetings, calmly, dispa.s.sionately. "You are perfectly safe, except for one thing, chance exposure. It might just so happen; and then, of course, there would be a great deal to settle for. Mrs. Cowperwood would never give me a divorce; she has no reason to. If I should clean up in the way I hope to--if I should make a million--I wouldn't mind knocking off now. I don't expect to work all my days. I have always planned to knock off at thirty-five. I'll have enough by that time. Then I want to travel. It will only be a few more years now. If you were free--if your father and mother were dead"--curiously she did not wince at this practical reference--"it would be a different matter."
He paused. She still gazed thoughtfully at the water below, her mind running out to a yacht on the sea with him, a palace somewhere--just they two. Her eyes, half closed, saw this happy world; and, listening to him, she was fascinated.
"Hanged if I see the way out of this, exactly. But I love you!" He caught her to him. "I love you--love you!"
"Oh, yes," she replied intensely, "I want you to. I'm not afraid."
"I've taken a house in North Tenth Street," he said finally, as they walked over to the horses and mounted them. "It isn't furnished yet; but it will be soon. I know a woman who will take charge."
"Who is she?"
"An interesting widow of nearly fifty. Very intelligent--she is attractive, and knows a good deal of life. I found her through an advertis.e.m.e.nt. You might call on her some afternoon when things are arranged, and look the place over. You needn't meet her except in a casual way. Will you?"
She rode on, thinking, making no reply. He was so direct and practical in his calculations.
"Will you? It will be all right. You might know her. She isn't objectionable in any way. Will you?"
"Let me know when it is ready," was all she said finally.
Chapter XXI
The vagaries of pa.s.sion! Subtleties! Risks! What sacrifices are not laid willfully upon its altar! In a little while this more than average residence to which Cowperwood had referred was prepared solely to effect a satisfactory method of concealment. The house was governed by a seemingly recently-bereaved widow, and it was possible for Aileen to call without seeming strangely out of place. In such surroundings, and under such circ.u.mstances, it was not difficult to persuade her to give herself wholly to her lover, governed as she was by her wild and unreasoning affection and pa.s.sion. In a way, there was a saving element of love, for truly, above all others, she wanted this man. She had no thought or feeling toward any other. All her mind ran toward visions of the future, when, somehow, she and he might be together for all time.
Mrs. Cowperwood might die, or he might run away with her at thirty-five when he had a million. Some adjustment would be made, somehow. Nature had given her this man. She relied on him implicitly. When he told her that he would take care of her so that nothing evil should befall, she believed him fully. Such sins are the commonplaces of the confessional.
It is a curious fact that by some subtlety of logic in the Christian world, it has come to be believed that there can be no love outside the conventional process of courts.h.i.+p and marriage. One life, one love, is the Christian idea, and into this sluice or mold it has been endeavoring to compress the whole world. Pagan thought held no such belief. A writing of divorce for trivial causes was the theory of the elders; and in the primeval world nature apparently holds no scheme for the unity of two beyond the temporary care of the young. That the modern home is the most beautiful of schemes, when based upon mutual sympathy and understanding between two, need not be questioned. And yet this fact should not necessarily carry with it a condemnation of all love not so fortunate as to find so happy a denouement. Life cannot be put into any mold, and the attempt might as well be abandoned at once. Those so fortunate as to find harmonious companions.h.i.+p for life should congratulate themselves and strive to be worthy of it. Those not so blessed, though they be written down as pariahs, have yet some justification. And, besides, whether we will or not, theory or no theory, the basic facts of chemistry and physics remain. Like is drawn to like. Changes in temperament bring changes in relations.h.i.+p. Dogma may bind some minds; fear, others. But there are always those in whom the chemistry and physics of life are large, and in whom neither dogma nor fear is operative. Society lifts its hands in horror; but from age to age the Helens, the Messalinas, the Du Barrys, the Pompadours, the Maintenons, and the Nell Gwyns flourish and point a freer basis of relations.h.i.+p than we have yet been able to square with our lives.