The Foolish Almanak - BestLightNovel.com
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[Ill.u.s.tration]
SUNDAY
MONDAY (3544 B.C.) Public library opened at Athens.
No string.
TUESDAY (1725) Order of the Bath reorganized by George I.--Water, soap, towel.
WEDNESDAY (5381 B.C.) Birth of Ananias, first special newspaper correspondent.
THURSDAY (1670) Bees brought from England to Boston.
Many politicians stung.
FRIDAY
SAt.u.r.dAY About this time there will be some more weather.
MARCH
One touch of liver makes the whole world ill.
"A TAKE OFF"
[Ill.u.s.tration]
Cling to your winter flannels Till well along toward June, For many a one is taken off By taking them off too soon.
ADVERTIs.e.m.e.nTS
_Academics, Colleges, Conservatories, Reform Schools, Etc._
BE A STREET PAVER
_THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS_ _are made yearly in the Paving_ _Department of your home city_
_ARE YOU GETTING ANY OF IT??_
We make you an experienced street paver by mail without interrupting present occupation.
Lesson VI--"How to Graft under a Reform Administration," alone worth entire cost of course.
Begin now and be ready for your next City Election.
UNITED STATES CORRESPONDENCE COLLEGE OF MUNIc.i.p.aL OPPORTUNITIES
_P. O. Box 232323_ _Chelsea, Ma.s.s._
[Sidenote: _Antiquity of Ready-to-Wear Clothing_: Eve's dress was the first truly "out-of-sight" costume, "fig"-uratively speaking.]
[Sidenote: _Poultry Note_: Roosters are rather hard to manage, but hens lay wherever they are put.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
SUNDAY
MONDAY Was it not about April 1st that the Laird of Skibo declared he would give away real money instead of libraries?
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY Noah born. Noah first taught the race how wise a thing it is to lay up something for a rainy day. He laid up an ark.
THURSDAY
FRIDAY (64) Roman citizens conspire to fire Nero.
SAt.u.r.dAY (64) Nero fires Rome.
APRIL
Umbrellas cover a mult.i.tude of thieves.
HINTS TO AMATEUR GARDENERS
In the spring look after your potatoes carefully. Have their eyes examined by a good oculist, and provide spectacles for such as need them.
Never string your beans till they are old enough to understand it. If you begin too early, they are apt to lose their temper.
Don't attempt to graft your pie-plants. Many have tried grafting a custard to a mince, in the hope that the brandy in the latter would a.s.similate with the custard and make a Tom and Jerry, but it never works.
