The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night Volume XIV Part 3

All this and the Youth still sat there without being seen. But when the dung-smoke thickened, his eyes brimmed and he could not but shed tears, and the more smoke there was the more his eyes watered and big drops flowed till at last all the Kohl was washed off and trickled down with the tears. So he became visible a-middlemost the royal Harem; and, when the dames descried him, all shrieked one shriek, each at other, upon which the Eunuchry rushed in; then, finding the young man still seated there, they laid hands upon him and haled him before the Sultan to whom they reported his crime and how he had been caught lurking in the King's Serraglio a-sitting beside the Princess. Hearing this, the Sovran bade summon the Headsman and committed to him the criminal bidding him take the youth and robe him in a black habit bepatched with flamecolour;[FN#121] then, to set him upon a camel and, after parading him through Cairo city and all the streets, to put him to death. Accordingly the executioner took the Youth.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Fifty-ninth Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Linkman took the youth and fared forth with him from the palace: then he looked at him and found him fair of form and favour, a sans peer in loveliness, and he observed that he showed no fear nor shrinking from death. So he had pity upon him and his heart yearned to him and he said in his mind, "By Allah, attached to this young man is a rare history." Then he brought a leathern gown which he put upon him, and the flamey black habit which he pa.s.sed over his arms: and setting him upon a camel as the Sultan had commanded, at last carried him in procession crying out the while, "This is the award and the least award of him who violateth the Harem of the King;" and he threaded the streets till they came to the square before the great Mosque wherein was the Shaykh. Now as all the folk were enjoying the spectacle, the Sage looked out from the window of his cell and beheld the condition of his scholar. He was moved to ruth and reciting a spell he summoned the Jann and bade them s.n.a.t.c.h the young man off the camel's back with all care and kindness and bring him to his cell; and he also commanded an 'Aun of the 'Auns[FN#122] to seize some oldster and set him upon the beast in lieu of the Youth.

They did as he bid them for that he had taken fealty of the Jann and because of his profound studies in the Notaricon[FN#123] and every branch of the art magical. And when all the crowd saw the youth suddenly transformed into a grey-beard they were awe-stricken and cried, "Alhamdolillah--laud to the Lord--the young man hath become an old man!" They then looked again and behold, they saw a person well-known amongst the lieges, one who had long been wont to sell greens and colocasia at the hostelry gate near the Cathedral-mosque. Now the headsman noting this case was confounded with sore affright; so he returned to the palace with the oldster seated on the camel and went in to the Sultan followed by all the city-folk who were gazing at the spectacle.

Then he stood before the King and the eunuchry and did homage and prayed for the Sovran and said, "O our lord the Sultan, verily the Youth hath vanished, and in lieu of him is this Shaykh well known to the whole city." Hearing these words the King was startled; sore fear entered his heart and he said to himself, "Whoso hath been able to do this deed can do e'en more: he can depose me from my kings.h.i.+p or he can devise my death." So his affright increased and he was at a loss how to contrive for such case. Presently he summoned his Minister and when he came into the presence said to him, "O Wazir, advise me how to act in the affair of this Youth and what measures should be taken." The Minister bowed his brow groundwards in thought for a while, then raising it he addressed the Sultan and said, "O King of the Age, this be a thing beyond experience, and the doer must be master of a might we comprehend not and haply he may work thee in the future some injury and we fear from him for thy daughter.

Wherefore the right way is that thou issue a royal autograph and bid the Crier go round about the city and cry saying, 'Let him who hath wrought this work appear before the King under promise of safety and again safety--safety on the word of a Sultan which shall never be falsed.' Should the Youth then surrender himself, O King of the Age, marry him to thy daughter when perhaps his mind may be reconciled to thee by love of her. He hath already cast eyes upon her and he hath seen the inmates of thy Harem unrobed, so that naught can save their honour but his being united with the Princess." Hereupon the Sultan indited an autographic rescript and placed it in the Crier's hands even as the Wazir had counselled: and the man went about the streets proclaiming, "By Command of the just King! whoso hath done this deed let him discover himself and come to the Palace under promise of safety and again safety, the safety of sovereigns--safety on the word of a Sultan which shall never be falsed." And the Crier ceased not crying till in fine he reached the square fronting the great Mosque. The Youth who was standing there heard the proclamation and returning to his Shaykh said, "O my lord, the Crier hath a rescript from the Sultan and he crieth saying, 'Whoso hath done this deed let him discover himself and come to the Palace under promise of safety and again safety--safety on the word of a Sultan which shall never be falsed.' And, I must go to him perforce." Said the Sage, "O my son, why shouldst thou do on such wise? Hast thou not already suffered thy sufficiency?" But the young man exclaimed, "Nothing shall prevent my going;" and at this the Shaykh replied, "Go then, O my son, and be thy safeguarding with the Living, the Eternal." Accordingly, the Youth repaired to the Hammam and having bathed attired himself in the richest attire he owned, after which he went forth and discovered himself to the Crier who led him to the Palace and set him before the Sovran. He salamed to the Sultan and did him obeisance and prayed for his long life and prosperity in style the most eloquent, and proffered his pet.i.tion in verse the most fluent. The Sultan looked at him (and he habited in his best and with all of beauty blest), and the royal mind was pleased and he enquired saying, "Who art thou, O Youth?" The other replied, "I am the Half-man whom thou sawest and I did the deed whereof thou wottest." As soon as the King heard this speech he entreated him with respect and bade him sit in the most honourable stead, and when he was seated the twain conversed together. The Sultan was astounded at his speech and they continued their discourse till they touched upon sundry disputed questions of learning, when the Youth proved himself as superior to the Sovran as a dinar is to a dirham: and to whatever niceties of knowledge the monarch asked, the young man returned an allsufficient answer, speaking like a book. So the Sultan abode confounded at the eloquence of his tongue and the purity of his phrase and the readiness of his replies; and he said in his mind, "This Youth is as worthy to become my daughter's mate as she is meet to become his helpmate." Then he addressed him in these words, "O Youth, my wish is to unite thee with my daughter and after thou hast looked upon her and her mother none will marry her save thyself." The other replied, "O King of the Age, I am ready to obey thee, but first I must take counsel of my friends." The King rejoined, "No harm in that: hie thee home and ask their advice." The Youth then craved leave to retire and repairing to his Shaykh,--And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night, an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Sixtieth Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Youth then craved leave to retire and, repairing to his Shaykh, informed him of what had pa.s.sed between himself and the Sultan and said to him, "'Tis also my wish, O my lord, to marry his daughter." The Sage replied, "There be no fault herein if it be lawful wedlock: fare thee forth and ask her in marriage." Quoth the Youth, "But I, O my lord, desire to invite the King to visit us;" and quoth the Sage, "Go invite him, O my son, and hearten thy heart." The Youth replied, "O my lord, since I first came to thee and thou didst honour me by taking me into thy service, I have known none other home save this narrow cell wherein thou sittest, never stirring from it by night or by day. How can we invite the King hither?" The Sage rejoined, "O my son, do thou go invite him relying upon Allah, the Veiler who veileth all things, and say to him, 'My Shaykh greeteth thee with the salam and inviteth thee to visit him next Friday.'" Accordingly, the Youth repaired to the King and saluted him and offered his service and blessed him with most eloquent tongue and said, "O King of the Age, my Shaykh greeteth thee and sayeth to thee, 'Come eat thy pottage[FN#124] with us next Friday,'" whereto the Sultan replied, "Hearing is consenting." Then the Youth returned to the Sage and waited upon him according to custom, longing the while for the coming of Friday. On that day the Sage said to the Youth, "O my son, arise with me and I will show thee what house be ours, so thou mayst go fetch the King." Then he took him and the two walked on till they came upon a ruin in the centre of the city and the whole was in heaps, mud, clay, and stones. The Sage looked at it and said, "O my son, this is our mansion; do thou hie thee to the King and bring him hither." But the Youth exclaimed, "O my lord, verily this be a ruinous heap! How then can I invite the Sultan and bring him to such an ill place? This were a shame and a disgrace to us." Quoth the Sage, "Go and dread thou naught." Upon this the Youth departed saying in himself, "By Allah, my Shaykh must be Jinn-mad and doubtless he confoundeth in his insanity truth and untruth." But he stinted not faring till he reached the Palace and went in to the Sultan whom he found expecting him; so he delivered the message, "Deign honour us, O my lord, with thy presence."[FN#125] Hereupon the King arose without stay or delay and took horse, and all the lords of the land also mounted, following the Youth to the place where he told them his Shaykh abode. But when they drew near it they found a royal mansion and eunuchry standing at the gates in costliest gear as if robed from a talismanic h.o.a.rd. When the young man saw this change of scene, he was awe-struck and confounded in such way that hardly could he keep his senses, and he said to himself, "But an instant ago I beheld with mine own eyes this very place a ruinous heap: how then hath it suddenly become on this same site a Palace such as belongeth not to our Sultan? But I had better keep the secret to myself." Presently the King alighted as also did his suite, and entered the mansion, and whenas he inspected it he marvelled at the splendour of the first apartment, but the more narrowly he looked the more magnificent he found the place, and the second more sumptuous than the first. So his wits were bewildered thereat till he was ushered into a s.p.a.cious speak-room where they found the Shaykh sitting on one side of the chamber[FN#126] to receive them. The Sultan salam'd to him whereupon the Sage raised his head and returned his greeting but did not rise to his feet. The King then sat him down on the opposite side when the Shaykh honoured him by addressing him and was pleased to converse with him on various themes; all this while the royal senses being confounded at the grandeur around him and the rarities in that Palace. Presently the Shaykh said to his Scholar, "Knock thou at this door and bid our breakfast be brought in." So the young man arose and rapped and called out, "Bring in the breakfast;" when lo! the door was opened and there came out of it an hundred Mamelukes[FN#127] of the Book, each bearing upon his head a golden tray, whereon were set dishes of precious metals; and these, which were filled with breakfast-meats of all kinds and colours, they ranged in order before the Sultan. He was surprised at the sight for that he had naught so splendid in his own possession; but he came forwards and ate, as likewise did the Shaykh and all the courtiers until they were satisfied. And after this they drank coffee and sherbets, and the Sultan and the Shaykh fell to conversing on questions of lore: the King was edified by the words of the Sage who on his part sat respectfully between the Sovran's hands. Now when it was well nigh noon, the Shaykh again said to his Scholar, "Knock thou at that door and bid our noonday-meal be brought in."

He arose and rapped and called out, "Bring in the dinner;" when lo! the door opened of itself and there came out of it an hundred white slaves all other than the first train and each bearing a tray upon his head. They spread the Sufrah-cloth before the Sultan and ranged the dishes, and he looked at the plates and observed that they were of precious metals and stones; whereat he was more astonished than before and he said to himself, "In very deed this be a miracle!" So all ate their sufficiency when basins and ewers, some of gold and others of various n.o.ble ores, were borne round and they washed their hands, after which the Shaykh said, "O King, at how much hast thou valued for us the dower of thy daughter?" The Sovran replied, "My daughter's dower is already in my hands." This he said of his courtesy and respect, but the Shaykh replied, "Marriage is invalid save with a dower."

He then presented to him a mint of money and the tie of wedlock was duly tied; after which he rose and brought for his guest a pelisse of furs such as the Sultan never had in his treasury and invested him therewith and he gave rich robes to each and every of his courtiers according to their degree. The Sultan then took leave of the Shaykh and accompanied by the Scholar returned to the Palace.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Sixty-first Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Sultan took with him the Scholar and they fared till they reached the citadel and entered the Palace, during which time the King was pondering the matter and wondering at the affair. And when night came he bade them get ready his daughter that the first visit might be paid to her by the bridegroom. They did his bidding and carried the Youth in procession to her and he found the apartment bespread with carpets and perfumed with essences; the bride, however, was absent. So he said in his mind, "She will come presently albeit now she delayeth;" and he ceased not expecting her till near midnight, whilst the father and the mother said, "Verily the young man hath married our daughter and now sleepeth with her." On this wise the Youth kept one reckoning and the Sultan and his Harem kept another till it was hard upon dawn--all this and the bridegroom watched in expectation of the bride. Now when the day brake, the mother came to visit her child expecting to see her by the side of her mate; but she could not find a trace of her, nor could she gather any clear tidings of her.

Accordingly she asked the Youth, her son-in-law, who answered that since entering the apartment he had expected his bride but she came not to him nor had he seen a sign of her. Hereupon the Queen shrieked and rose up calling aloud upon her daughter, for she had none other child save that one. The clamour alarmed the Sultan who asked what was to do and was informed that the Princess was missing from the Palace and had not been seen after she had entered it at eventide. Thereupon he went to the Youth and asked him anent her, but he also told him that he had not found her when the procession led him into the bridal chamber.

Such was the case with these; but as regards the Princess, when they conducted her to the bridal room before the coming of the bridegroom, a Jinni[FN#128] of the Marids, who often visited the royal Harem, happened to be there on the marriage-night and was so captivated by the charms of the bride that he took seat in a corner, and upon her entering and before she was ware s.n.a.t.c.hed her up and soared with her high in air. And he flew with her till he reached a pleasant place of trees and rills some three months'

journey from the city, and in that shady place he set her down But he wrought her no bodily damage and every day he would bring her whatso she wanted of meat and drink and solaced her by showing her the rills and trees. Now this Jinni had changed his shape to that of a fair youth fearing lest his proper semblance affright her, and the girl abode in that place for a s.p.a.ce of forty days. But the father, after failing to find his daughter, took the Youth and repaired to the Shaykh in his cell, and he was as one driven mad as he entered and complained of the loss of his only child. The Shaykh hearing these words dove into the depths of meditation for an hour: then he raised his head and bade them bring before him a chafing-dish of lighted charcoal. They fetched all he required and he cast into the fire some incenses over which he p.r.o.nounced formulae of incantation, and behold! the world was turned topsy-turvy and the winds shrieked and the earth was canopied by dust-clouds whence descended at speed winged troops bearing standards and colours.[FN#129] And amiddlemost of them appeared three Sultans of the Jann all crying out at once "Labbayka! Labbayk! Adsumus, hither we speed to undertake thy need." The Shaykh then addressed them, saying, "My commandment is that forthright ye bring me the Jinni who hath s.n.a.t.c.hed away the bride of my son," and they said, "To hear is to obey," and at once commanded fifty of their dependent Jinns to reconduct the Princess to her chamber and to hale the culprit before them.

These orders were obeyed: they disappeared for an hour or so and suddenly returned, bringing the delinquent Jinni in person; but as for the Sultan's daughter, ten of them conveyed her to her Palace, she wotting naught of them and not feeling aught of fear.

And when they set the Jinni before the Shaykh, he bade the three Sultans of the Jann burn him to death and so they did without stay or delay. All this was done whilst the Sovran sat before the Shaykh, looking on and listening and marvelling at the obedience of that host and its Sultans and their subjection and civil demeanour in presence of the Elder. Now as soon as the business ended after perfectest fas.h.i.+on, the Sage recited over them a spell and all went their several ways; after which he bade the King take the Youth and conduct him to his daughter. This bidding was obeyed and presently the bridegroom abated the maidenhead of the bride, what while her parents renewed their rejoicings over the recovery of their lost child. And the Youth was so enamoured of the Princess that he quitted not the Harem for seven consecutive days. On the eighth the Sultan was minded to make a marriage-banquet and invited all the city-folk to feast for a whole month and he wrote a royal rescript and bade proclaim with full publicity that, according to the commands of the King's majesty, the wedding-feast should continue for a month, and that no citizen, be he rich or be he poor, should light fire or trim lamp in his own domicile during the wedding of the Princess; but that all must eat of the royal entertainment until the expiry of the fete. So they slaughtered beeves and stabbed camels in the throat and the kitcheners and carpet-spreaders were commanded to prepare the stables, and the officers of the household were ordered to receive the guests by night and by day. Now one night King Mohammed of Cairo said to his Minister, "O Wazir, do thou come with me in changed costume and let us thread the streets and inspect and espy the folk: haply some of the citizens have neglected to appear at the marriage-feast." He replied, "To hear is to obey." So the twain after exchanging habits for the gear of Persian Darwayshes went down to the city and there took place

The Night-Adventure of Sultan Mohammed of Cairo.[FN#130]

The Sultan and the Wazir threaded the broadways of the city and they noted the houses and stood for an hour or so in each and every greater thoroughfare, till they came to a lane, a cul-de-sac wherethrough none could pa.s.s, and behold, they hit upon a house containing a company of folk. Now these were conversing and saying, "By Allah, our Sultan hath not acted wisely nor hath he any cause to be proud, since he hath made his daughter's bride-feast a vanity and a vexation and the poor are excluded therefrom. He had done better to distribute somewhat of his bounty amongst the paupers and the mesquin, who may not enter his palace nor can they obtain aught to eat." Hearing this the Sultan said to the Wazir, "By Allah, needs must we enter this place;" and the Minister replied, "Do whatso thou willest."

Accordingly the King went up to the door and knocked, when one came out and asked, "Who is at the door?" The Sultan answered, "Guests;" and the voice rejoined, "Welcome to the guests;" and the door was thrown open. Then they went in till they reached the sitting-room where they found three men of whom one was lame, the second was broken-backed and the third was split-mouthed.[FN#131]

And all three were sitting together in that place. So he asked them, "Wherefore sit ye here, ye three, instead of going to the Palace?" and they answered him, "O Darwaysh, 'tis of the weakness of our wits!" The King then turned to his Minister and said, "There is no help but thou must bring these three men into my presence, as soon as the wedding-fetes be finished, that I may enquire into what stablished their imbecility."--And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!"

Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night, an the Sovran suffer me to survive?"

Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Sixty-second Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Sultan said to the Wazir, "Needs must thou bring these three men into my presence, as soon as the wedding-fetes be finished, and we will enquire into what proved their imbecility." Then quoth the King to them, "Wherefore fare ye not, ye three, and eat of the royal banquet day by day?" and quoth they, "O Darwaysh, we are crippled folk who cannot go and come, for this be grievous to us; but, an the Sultan would a.s.sign to us somewhat of victual, and send it hither, we would willingly eat thereof." He rejoined, "What knoweth the Sultan that ye sit in this place?" and they retorted, "Ye be Darwayshes who enter everywhere: so when ye go in to him, tell him our tale; haply shall Almighty Allah incline his heart uswards." The King asked them, "Be you three ever sitting together in this stead?" and they answered, "Yea, verily: we never leave one another by night or by day." Then the King and the Minister rose up and having presented them with a few silvers took leave and departed. Now it was midnight when they reached a tenement wherein sat three girls with their mother spinning and eating; and each one appeared fairer than her fellows, and at times they sang and then they laughed and then they talked. The Sultan said to the Wazir, "There is no help but we enter to these damsels;" whereto the Minister replied "What have we to do with going near them? Let them be as they are!" The Sultan, however, rejoined, "Needs must we enter," and the Wazir retorted, "Hearkening and obedience;" and he rapped at the door when one of the sisterhood cried out, "Who knocketh in this gloom of the night?" The Minister answered, "We are two Darwayshes, guests and strangers;" and the girl rejoined, "We are maidens with our mother and we have no men in our house who can admit you; so fare ye to the marriage-feast of the Sultan and become ye his guests."

The Minister continued, "We are foreigners and we know not the way to the Palace and we dread lest the Chief of Police happen upon us and apprehend us at this time o' night. We desire that you afford us lodging till daylight when we will go about our business and you need not expect from us aught save respect and honourable treatment." Now when the mother heard this, she pitied them and bade one daughter open the door. So the damsel threw it open and the Sultan and Wazir entered and salam'd and sat down to converse together; but the King gazed upon the sisters and marvelled at their beauty and their loveliness, and said in his mind, "How cometh it that these maidens dwell by themselves unmated and they in such case?" So quoth he to them, "How is it ye lack husbands, you being so beautiful, and that ye have not a man in the house?" Quoth the youngest, "O Darwaysh, hold thy tongue[FN#132] nor ask us of aught, for our story is wondrous and our adventures marvellous. But 'ware thy words and shorten thy speech; verily hadst thou been the Sultan and thy companion the Wazir an you heard our history haply ye had taken compa.s.sion upon our case." Thereupon the King turned to the Minister and said, "Up with us and wend we our ways; but first do thou make sure of the place and affix thy mark upon the door." Then the twain rose up and fared forth but the Wazir stood awhile and set a sign upon the entrance and there left his imprint; after which the twain returned to the Palace. Presently the youngest sister said to her mother, "By Allah, I fear lest the Darwayshes have made their mark upon our door to the end that they may recognise it by day; for haply the twain may be the King and his Minister." "What proof hast thou of this?" asked the mother, and the daughter answered, "Their language and their questioning which were naught save importunity!" And saying this she went to the door where she found the sign and mark. Now besides the two houses to the right and to the left were fifteen doors, so the girl marked them all with the same mark set by the Wazir.[FN#133] But when Allah had caused the day to dawn, the King said to the Minister, "Go thou and look at the sign and make sure of it." The Wazir went as he was commanded by the Sultan, but he found all the doors marked in the same way, whereat he marvelled and knew not nor could he distinguish the door he sought. Presently he returned and reported the matter of the door-marks to the King who cried, "By Allah, these girls must have a curious history! But when the bride-feast is finished we will enquire into the case of the three men who are weak-witlings and then we will consider that of the damsels who are not." As soon as the thirtieth feast-day pa.s.sed by, he invested with robes of honour all the Lords of his land and the high Officers of his estate and matters returned to their customed course. Then he sent to summon the three men who had professed themselves weak of wits and they were brought into the presence, each saying of himself, "What can the King require of us?" When they came before him he bade them be seated and they sat; then he said to them, "My requirement is that ye relate to me proofs of the weakness of your minds and the reason of your maims." Now the first who was questioned was he of the broken back, and when the enquiry was put to him he said, "Deign to favour me with an answer O our Lord the Sultan, on a matter which pa.s.sed through my mind." He replied, "Speak out and fear not!" So the other enquired, "How didst thou know us and who told thee of us and of our weakly wits?" Quoth the King, "'Twas the Darwaysh who went in to you on such a night;" and quoth the broken-backed man, "Allah slay all the Darwayshes who be tattlers and tale-carriers!" Thereupon the Sultan turned to the Wazir and laughing said, "We will not reproach them for aught: rather let us make fun of them," adding to the man, "Recite, O Shaykh." So he fell to telling

The Story of the Broke-Back Schoolmaster.[FN#134]

I began life, O King of the Age, as a Schoolmaster and my case was wondrous.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Sixty-third Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Shaykh continued.--I began life, O my lord, as a Schoolmaster, and my tale with the boys was wondrous. They numbered from sixty to seventy, and I taught them to read and I inculcated due discipline and ready respect esteeming these a part of liberal education; nor did I regard, O King of the Age, the vicissitudes of Time and Change; nay, I held them with so tight a rein that whenever the boys heard me sneeze[FN#135] they were expected to lay down their writing-tablets and stand up with their arms crossed and exclaim, "Allah have ruth upon thee, O our lord!"

whereto I would make reply, "Allah deign pardon us and you!" And if any of the lads failed or delayed to join in this prayer I was wont to bash him with a severe bas.h.i.+ng. One day of the days they asked leave to visit the outskirts of the town for liberty and pleasuring[FN#136] and when I granted it they clubbed their pittances for a certain sum of money to buy them a noonday meal.

So we went forth to the suburbs and there found verdure and water, and we enjoyed ourselves that day with perfect enjoyment until mid-afternoon when we purposed to return homewards.

Accordingly, the boys collected their belongings and laded them upon an a.s.s and we walked about half-way when behold, the whole party, big and little, stood still and said to me, "O our lord, we are athirst and burning with drowthiness, nor can we stir from this spot and if we leave it without drinking we shall all die."

Now there was in that place a draw-well, but it was deep and we had nor pitcher nor bucket nor aught wherein to draw water and the scholars still suffered from exceeding thirst. We had with us, however, cooking-gear such as chauldrons and platters; so I said to them, "O boys, whoso carrieth a cord or hath bound his belongings with one let him bring it hither!" They did my bidding and I tied these articles together and spliced them as strongly as I could: then said I to the lads, "Bind me under the arm-pits." Accordingly they made me fast by pa.s.sing the rope around me and I took with me a chauldron, whereupon they let me down bucket-wise into the well till I reached the water. Then I loosed the bandage from under my armpits and tied it to the chauldron which I filled brim-full and shook the rope for a signal to the boys above. They haled at the vessel till they pulled it up and began drinking and giving drink; and on this wise they drew a first chauldron and a second and a third and a fourth till they were satisfied and could no more and cried out to me, "We have had enough, quite enough." Hereupon I bound the bandage under my armpits, as it was when I went down, and I shook it as a signal and they haled me up till I had well-nigh reached the kerbstone of the well when a fit of sneezing seized me and I sneezed violently. At this all let go their hold and carrying their arms over their b.r.e.a.s.t.s, cried aloud, "Allah have ruth upon thee, O our lord!" but I, as soon as they loosed hold, fell into the depths of the well and brake my back. I shrieked for excess of agony and all the boys ran on all sides screaming for aid till they were heard by some wayfaring folk; and these haled at me and drew me out. They placed me upon the a.s.s and bore me home: then they brought a leach to medicine me and at last I became even as thou seest me, O Sultan of the Age. Such, then, is my story showing the weakness of my wits; for had I not enjoined and enforced over-respect the boys would not have let go their hold when I happened to sneeze nor would my back have been broken.

"Thou speakest sooth, O Shaykh," said the Sultan, "and indeed thou hast made evident the weakness of thy wit." Then quoth he to the man who was cloven of mouth. "And thou, the other, what was it split thy gape?" "The weakness of my wit, O my lord the Sultan," quoth he, and fell to telling the

Story of the Split-Mouthed Schoolmaster.[FN#137]

I also began life, O King of the Age, as a Schoolmaster and had under my charge some eighty boys. Now I was strict with such strictness that from morning to evening I sat amongst them and would never dismiss them to their homes before sundown. But 'tis known to thee, O our lord the King, that boys' wits be short after the measure of their age, and that they love naught save play and forgathering in the streets and quarter. Withal, I took no heed of this and ever grew harder upon them till one day all met and with the intervention of the eldest Monitor they agreed and combined to play me a trick. He arranged with them that next morning none should enter the school until he had taught them, each and every, to say as they went in, "Thy safety, O our lord, how yellow is thy face!" Now the first who showed himself was the Monitor and he spoke as had been agreed; but I was rough with him and sent him away; then a second came in and repeated what the first had said; then a third and then a fourth, until ten boys had used the same words. So quoth I to myself, "Ho, Such-an-one!

thou must be unwell without weeting it:" then I arose and went into the Harem and lay down therein when the Monitor, having collected from his school-fellows some hundred-and-eighty Nusfs,[FN#138] came in to me and cried, "Take this, O our lord, and expend the money upon thy health." Thereupon I said to myself, "Ho, Such-an-one! every Thursday[FN#139] thou dost not collect sixty Faddahs from the boys," and I cried to him, "Go, let them forth for a holiday." So he went and dismissed them from school to the playground. On the next day he collected as much as on the first and came in to me and said, "Expend these moneys, O our lord, upon thy health." He did the same on the third day and the fourth, making the boys contribute much coin and presenting it to me; and on such wise he continued till the tenth day, when he brought the money as was his wont. At that time I happened to hold in my hand a boiled egg which I purposed eating, but on sighting him I said in myself, "An he see thee feeding he will cut off the supplies." So I crammed the egg into my chops--And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night, an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Sixty-fourth Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah, upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Schoolmaster said to himself, "If the Monitor see thee eating the egg now in thy hand he will cut off the supplies and a.s.sert thee to be sound." So (continued he) I crammed the egg into my chops and clapped my jaws together. Hereupon the lad turned to me and cried, "O my lord, thy cheek is much swollen;" and I, "'Tis only an imposthume." But he drew a whittle[FN#140] forth his sleeve and coming up to me seized my cheek and slit it, when the egg fell out and he said, "O my lord, this it was did the harm and now 'tis pa.s.sed away from thee." Such was the cause of the splitting of my mouth, O our lord the Sultan. Now had I cast away greed of gain and eaten the egg in the Monitor's presence, what could have been the ill result? But all this was of the weakness of my wit; for also had I dismissed the boys every day about mid-afternoon, I should have gained naught nor lost aught thereby. However the Dealer of Destiny is self-existent, and this is my case. Then the Sultan turned to the Wazir and laughed and said, "The fact is that whoso schooleth boys is weak of wit;" and said the other, "O King of the Age, all pedagogues lack perceptives and reflectives; nor can they become legal witnesses before the Kazi because verily they credit the words of little children without evidence of the speech being or factual or false. So their reward in the world to come must be abounding!"[FN#141] Then the Sultan asked the limping man, saying, "And thou, the other, what lamed thee?" So he began to tell

The Story of the Limping Schoolmaster.[FN#142]

My tale, O my lord the Sultan, is marvellous and 'twas as follows. My father was by profession a schoolmaster and, when he fared to the ruth of Almighty Allah, I took his place in the school and taught the boys to read after the fas.h.i.+on of my sire.

Now over the schoolroom was an upper lattice whereto planks had been nailed and I was ever casting looks at it till one chance day I said to myself, "By Allah, this lattice thus boarded up needs must contain h.o.a.rds or moneys or ma.n.u.scripts which my father stored there before his decease; and on such wise I am deprived of them." So I arose and brought a ladder and lashed it to another till the two together reached the lattice and I clomb them holding a carpenter's adze[FN#143] wherewith I prized up the planks until all were removed. And behold, I then saw a large fowl, to wit, a kite,[FN#144] setting upon her nestlings. But when she saw me she flew sharply in my face and I was frightened by her and thrown back; so I tumbled from the ladder-top to the ground and brake both knee-caps. Then they bore me home and brought a leach to heal me; but he did me no good and I fell into my present state. Now this, O our lord the Sultan, proveth the weakness of my wit and the greatness of my greed; for there is a saw amongst men that saith "Covetise aye wasteth and never gathereth: so 'ware thee of covetise." Such, O lord of the Age and the Time, is my tale. Hereupon the King bade gifts and largesse be distributed to the three old schoolmasters, and when his bidding was obeyed they went their ways. Then the Sultan turned to the Minister and said, "O Wazir, now respecting the matter of the three maidens and their mother, I would have thee make enquiry and find out their home and bring them hither; or let us go to them in disguise and hear their history, for indeed it must he wonderful. Otherwise how could they have understood that we served them that sleight by marking their door and they on their part set marks of like kind upon all the doors of the quarter that we might lose the track and touch of them. By Allah, this be rare intelligence on the part of these damsels; but we, O Wazir, will strive to come upon their traces." Then the Minister fared forth, after changing his dress and demeanour, and walked to the quarter in question, but found all the doors similarly marked. So he was sore perplext concerning his case and fell to questioning all the folk wont to pa.s.s by these doors but none could give him any information; and he walked about sore distraught until even-tide, when he returned to the Sultan without aught of profit. As he went in to the presence, his liege lord asked him saying, "What bringest thou of tidings?" and he answered, "O King, I have not found the property,[FN#145] but there pa.s.sed through my mind a stratagem which, an we carry it out, peradventure shall cause us to happen upon the maidens."

Quoth the Sultan, "What be that?" and quoth he, "Do thou write me an autograph-writ and give it to the Crier that he may cry about the city, 'Whoso lighteth wick after supper-tide shall have his head set under his heels.'" The Sultan rejoined, "This thy rede is right." Accordingly, on the next day the King wrote his letter and gave it to the Crier bidding him fare through the city and forbid the lighting of lamps after night-prayers; and the man took the royal rescript and set it in a green bag. Then he went forth and cried about the street saying, "According to the commandment of our King, the Lord of prosperity and Master of the necks of G.o.d's servants, if any light wick after night-prayers his head shall be set under his heels, his good shall be spoiled and his women shall be cast into jail." And the Crier stinted not crying through the town during the first day and the second and the third, until he had gone round the whole place; nor was there a citizen but who knew the ordinance. Now the King waited patiently till after the proclamation of the third day; but on the fourth night he and his Minister went down from the palace in disguise after supper-tide to pry about the wards and espy into the lattices of the several quarters. They found no light till they came to the ward where the three damsels lived, and the Sultan, happening to glance in such a direction, saw the gleam of a lamp in one of the tenements. So he said to the Wazir, "Ho!

there is a wick alight." Presently they drew near it and found that it was within one of the marked houses; wherefore they came to a stand and knocked at the door,--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say.

Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Sixty-fifth Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that when the Sultan and the Wazir stood over against the door behind which was the light and knocked at it, the youngest of the sisters cried out, "Who is at the door?" and they replied, "Guests and Darwayshes." She rejoined, "What can you want at this hour and what can have belated you?" And they, "We be men living in a Khan; but we have lost our way thither and we fear to happen upon the Chief of Police. So of your bountiful kindness open ye to us and house us for the remnant of the night; and such charity shall gain you reward in Heaven." Hereto the mother added, "Go open to them the door!" and the youngest of the maidens came forward and opened to them and admitted them. Then the parent and her children rose up and welcomed them respectfully and seated them and did them honour and set before them somewhat of food which they ate and were gladdened. Presently the King said, "O damsels, ye cannot but know that the Sultan proclaimed forbiddal of wick-burning; but ye have lighted your lamps and have not obeyed him when all the citizens have accepted his commandment." Upon this the youngest sister accosted him saying, "O Darwaysh, verily the Sultan's order should not be obeyed save in commandments which be reasonable; but this his proclamation forbidding lights is sinful to accept; and indeed the right direction[FN#146]

wherein man should walk is according to Holy Law which saith, 'No obedience to the creature in a matter of sin against the Creator.' The Sultan (Allah make him prevail!) herein acteth against the Law and imitateth the doings of Satan. For we be three sisters with our mother, making four in the household, and every night we sit together by lamp-light and weave a half-pound weight of linen web[FN#147] which our mother taketh in the morning for sale to the Bazar and buyeth us therewith half a pound of raw flax and with the remainder what sufficeth us of victual." The Sultan now turned to his Minister and said, "O Wazir, this damsel astonisheth me by her questions and answers.

What case of casuistry can we propose to her and what disputation can we set up? Do thou contrive us somewhat shall pose and perplex her." "O my lord," replied the Wazir, "we are here in the guise of Darwayshes and are become to these folk as guests: how then can we disturb them with troublesome queries in their own home?" Quoth the Sultan, "Needs must thou address them;" so the Wazir said to the girl, "O n.o.ble one, obedience to the royal orders is inc.u.mbent upon you as upon all lieges." Said she, "True, he is our Sovran; but how can he know whether we be starving or full-fed?" "Let us see," rejoined the Wazir, "when he shall send for you and set you before the presence and question you concerning your disobeying his orders, what thou wilt say?"

She retorted, "I would say to the Sultan, 'Thou hast contraried Holy Law.'" At this the Minister resumed, "An he ask thee sundry questions wilt thou answer them?" and she replied "Indeed I will." Hereat the Minister turned to the King and said, "Let us leave off question and answer with this maiden on points of conscience and Holy Law and ask if she understand the fine arts."

Presently the Sultan put the question when she replied, "How should I not understand them when I am their father and their mother?" Quoth he, "Allah upon thee, O my lady, an thou wouldst favour us, let us hear one of thine airs and its words." So she rose and retired but presently returning with a lute sat down and set it upon her lap and ordered the strings and smote it with a masterly touch: then she fell to singing amongst other verses these ordered couplets:--

"Do thou good to men and so rule their necks: * Long reigns who by benefit rules mankind: And lend aid to him who for aidance hopes: * For aye grateful is man with a n.o.ble mind: Who brings money the many to him will incline * And money for tempting of man was designed: Who hindereth favour and bounties, ne'er * Or brother or friend in creation shall find: With harsh looks frown not in the Sage's face; * Disgusteth the freeman denial unkind: Who frequenteth mankind all of good unknow'th: * Man is lief of rebellion, of largesse loath."

When the Sultan heard these couplets, his mind was distraught and he was perplext in thought; then turning to his Wazir, he said, "By Allah, these lines were surely an examination of and an allusion to our two selves; and doubtless she weeteth of us that I am the Sultan and thou art the Wazir, for the whole tenor of her talk proveth her knowledge of us." Then he turned to the maiden and said, "Right good are thy verse and thy voice, and thy words have delighted us with exceeding delight." Upon this she sang the following two couplets:--

"Men seek for them sorrow, and toil * Thro' long years as they brightly flow; But Fate, in the well like the tank[FN#148] * Firm-fixt, ruleth all below."