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Ruthie must feel the same way because she abruptly changes from her almost pensive mood. "Whelp, I'm off to take a WaveRunner lesson. See ya later," she calls over her shoulder, having already hopped out of her chair. I shake my head and watch her shaking her f.a.n.n.y on the way to the watersports shack. The fact that we are sisters absolutely blows my mind. I love her to pieces, but we couldn't possibly be more different.
Maybe I should practice my b.u.t.t-shaking walk the next time I see Kai. If nothing else, it would probably give him a good laugh.
Chapter 19.
It turns out that I don't have to bother practicing my b.u.t.t-tastic walk because Kai plops down in Ruthie's recently vacated chair. I quickly forget all about my plans of seduction. All I can feel is the instant magnetic attraction I feel for him. He's beyond handsome.
When he asks if I'm up for a hike, I don't hesitate. As I realized earlier, I would probably follow this man anywhere-a walk on a scenic island trail is a no-brainer.
He takes my hand and we set off together. I am a little distraught when I discover that we are heading along the path that leads to the waterfall where I spied on him earlier. He wouldn't bring me up here just to chastise me for watching him, would he? When we come to the fork in the path, he steers me in the less worn direction, and I realize that we are indeed heading to the waterfall.
I hear the roaring of the water before I can see it. When we step into the clearing, I suck in my breath at the natural beauty. Even though I have been here before, the stunning perfection still surprises me.
"This is one of my favorite spots," he confides near my ear, so I can hear him over the loud water.
I nod in appreciation. I'm still not certain if he saw me here the other day, but I'm sure he recognized his form in my painting. I suppose it really doesn't matter. He doesn't seem to be angry about it, and it's not like I can do anything about it at this point anyway. "It's really beautiful," I gush honestly as he eases himself behind me, wrapping his arms tightly around me. The feeling of having him at my back is divine. I lean my head back into him, savoring the feeling of his firm chest.
"Would you like to go for a swim?" he asks me.
"I'd love to," I answer, and I mean it. As we walk down the path to the water, I am thankful that I had thought to don a swimsuit under my dress this morning. If Kai goes in the water in the buff, I'll be happy to skinny-dip with him, but this way I am prepared for anything.
When we near the bank, he yanks his s.h.i.+rt over his head. I stare at his perfect shoulders for a few moments. Not wanting to get caught, I break out of my trance and begin removing my Keen sandals. Kai gallantly steadies me by my elbow as I balance on each leg to take off my shoes. Since I don't have anything else on, I slide my sundress up over my head. I am pleasantly surprised to find that Kai isn't as bashful as I was about gawking. He is openly looking at my barely covered body, and he seems to like what he sees. When he licks his lips and finally raises his eyes up to meet my gaze, we both chuckle with nervous energy.
I take a couple of steps toward the water, but turn to watch as Kai quickly shucks his board shorts. He has stripped down to a pair of black boxer briefs, and I feel a warm and pleasing sensation in my belly when I notice how they are bulging in all the right places.
He takes my hand and we walk together the rest of the way to the water's edge. I daintily dip a toe in and am pleasantly surprised to find that the water is warm-luxuriously warm. "That's not how you get in," he teases me. He points out a couple of feet into the dark turquoise swirling water. "Just jump out past this ledge. See it?" When I nod, he starts a countdown. "Three-two-one." We jump in together.
The water feels glorious. Kai is an excellent swimmer, but I already knew that based on his rescue of me from the smack of jellyfish. We glide through the water together-sometimes floating lazily on our backs, sometimes splas.h.i.+ng each other playfully. Finally, I can't resist the draw of the falling water any longer. Kai quickly deduces my destination and dives under water. He expels a rush of bubbles, which tickle my underside and make me giggle.
We arrive at the waterfall at the same moment and let the water rush over us. I tip my head back so it washes down my back. It feels cleansing and powerful. Being in this pristine location with the man of my dreams is truly a gift-a gift that I don't want to waste. I boldly declare to myself that I don't want to have any regrets when I go home, and I'm quite certain that not jumping Kai's bones right now would be a huge, lifelong regret.
Kai is a gentleman, so I decide to give him an indisputable sign that I am ready for more. I reach one hand behind me under the water, while using the other to dog paddle to stay afloat. On the sly, I unclip the clasp at the back of my bikini top. Once it is unhooked, I make short work of the tie at the back of my neck, freeing my ample b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
I take a moment to enjoy the feeling of the warm water rus.h.i.+ng over my bare skin before clearing my throat. Once I have Kai's full attention, I raise my brightly colored bathing suit top up out of the water. His eyes widen in surprise, and then he breaks into a huge grin, which is exactly the reaction I had been hoping for.
I wad the top into a ball and toss it to the embankment. Once I am free of it, Kai and I lunge at each other. We kiss each other hungrily. It is difficult keeping our faces above the water while attempting to grope each other, so Kai says, "Come back here." I follow him behind the fall and am pleased to find a shallow ledge. The wall of water gives us some privacy in case anyone should join us at our scenic, yet somewhat public spot.
Kai sits down on the ledge, and the water laps gently at his chest. I look around our secluded cove and decide this location is absolutely perfect. So rather than sitting beside him on the ledge, I climb onto his lap and straddle him. Our lips and tongues meld together in a delicious kiss. His large hands cup my b.r.e.a.s.t.s gently. I tip my head back and enjoy his touch as he kisses his way down my neck and chest. When he suckles a nipple, I cry out with the pleasure of it. My lower half seeks his. I scoot myself along his ma.s.sive erection, making us both groan.
Deciding that there are too many clothes between us, I reach down to relieve us of the remaining frustrating barrier. I decide to start with Kai's-mostly because I want to get my hands on him. When I slide my fingers under his waistband, he wraps a hand around my wrist-stopping me. We sit there like that for a moment-both of us breathing heavy, but otherwise unmoving. I am uncertain why he has a vise grip on my arm, but he isn't letting go.
Finally, he croaks, "I can't," before diving under the wall of water and swimming away from me. I sit there for a long while, stunned and embarra.s.sed. I have never been half-naked and willing to fool around with a man who turned me down before, and I don't like how it feels.
I chastise myself for being so stupid. He's clearly not attracted to me-why would he be? He is perfection personified and I am lanky and slightly above average at best. There is no denying his body's reaction to me, but that is purely physical. A healthy, virile man would probably become aroused by anyone who brazenly takes off her top and climbs on him behind a majestic waterfall.
I shake my head in exasperation at myself. I can't believe I tossed my top to sh.o.r.e. How can I gracefully retrieve it without making even more of an a.s.s of myself? I know the answer to that question. I can't. What had I been thinking? I guess I could sit back here and hope that he leaves, but the fear of someone else coming along and seeing my shucked top makes heat rise up on my cheeks.
I am ashamed of myself, and I just want to extricate myself from this situation as quickly and quietly as possible. I dive under the falling water and surface as close as I can to the point where I threw my top. I am pleased to find my belongings lying neatly by the edge of the water. Kai must have placed my clothes within reach to minimize my embarra.s.sment. I guess that's the least he could do after shunning my s.e.xual advances.
I put my bathing suit top on under the water, then pull myself out of the water and slip the dress over my wet skin. After sliding my feet into my sandals, I turn toward the path to head back to the hotel. Kai is waiting for me-ever the gentleman, with his back turned to give me as much privacy as he can. I don't want to face him right now, but I don't see another way to leave.
Deciding to just get it over with, I trudge toward the path. When I am even with Kai, he turns to me, "Ready to head back?" he asks me as if everything is normal.
I feel like kicking him in the 'nads. How can he just ignore the fact that I am completely humiliated? How can he act like nothing happened back there? Why did he shun me? Rather than physically harming him or asking him any of the numerous questions that are swirling around my head, I nod and continue walking.
The walk back to the resort seems interminable. When we finally get to the bar at the resort, I mutter a quick "See ya" over my shoulder before speed-walking to the villa's door. When I put the key in the door, I say a silent prayer that Baggy and her man are finished with whatever kinky, slick games they had previously been enjoying.
The island G.o.ds are on my side for once because the room is empty. I collapse onto my bed before I start sobbing as a pathetic mixture of sadness, hurt feelings, and humiliation overwhelms me. I cry myself to sleep and don't even hear Baggy and Ruthie return to the room.
Chapter 20.
When I wake up the next morning, I have a revelation. I decide to focus on helping others rather than wallowing in my own misery over Kai not wanting me, and I know just whom I am going to a.s.sist.
Having a selfless mission brings a bit of a spring to my step. I am in paradise after all. I shouldn't be surprised that Kai isn't s.e.xually interested in me. I was silly to think that I might be s.e.xy enough for him. He can probably take his choice of any woman he wants. I'll just avoid him until the awkwardness pa.s.ses or it's time for me to go home-whichever comes first.
I go down to the breakfast buffet and am surprised to see Leilani filling in for the normal hostess. It seems like each employee of this resort covers several positions. Leilani seats me at what has now become our usual table. A beaming Honi arrives just as I sit down and delivers my piping-hot tea. It's amazing how quickly these workers have learned the nuances of our likes and dislikes. They all seem to really pay attention and truly enjoy their jobs.
Once Honi sets down the tray-which includes sugar cubes and cream, just the way I like it-I ask him to sit down for a moment. If he is surprised by my request, he hides it well. He amiably lowers himself into the chair next to me and asks how I am doing. I fib by telling him that I am doing great then I say that I would rather hear how he is doing.
Once I am certain that Leilani has seated her next table and is walking back in our direction, I rest my hand on Honi's beefy arm and lean toward him. I see her eyes resting on us for a moment, but she quickly flits past, so I decide to step up my game a little.
When Honi tells me the old joke about the customer asking the waiter what the fly is doing in his soup, only to have the waiter reply, "The backstroke," I laugh much louder than necessary. My outburst is rewarded with a sharp glare from Leilani, which makes my day. I had been hoping that Kai was right about her feelings for Honi, and the eye daggers she sends me suggest that he was.
Leilani is busy chatting with a young couple about their dinner reservations, so I use the time to talk to Honi. "You should ask Leilani to go out with you." I nudge his arm with my elbow.
I see a wave of sadness pa.s.s over his eyes before he masks it with his usual charm. "We've been out on a few dates, but she broke things off," he confides in me. I can't tell if he knows about the pregnancy.
Honi is silent for so long, I start to think that he isn't going to continue; but then he does. "What would someone as beautiful and amazing as Leilani see in someone like me, anyway?" His question mirrors my own about Kai.
Even though his question was rhetorical, I feel compelled to answer him. "You are a great guy, Honi," I tell him honestly. "She would be lucky to have you." Honi shakes his head sadly, clearly not agreeing with my a.s.sessment.
I notice Leilani checking us out, so I pat Honi's arm gently. "I think we've managed to make her jealous," I confide in him when I see her reaction to my hand on Honi.
Honi's features brighten instantly. "Yeah?" he asks me hopefully.
"Definitely." I nod, winking at him.
"Thanks, Roxy!" he says enthusiastically before hefting himself out of his chair.
I spend the rest of my meal only slightly uncomfortable from the unkind looks I can feel Leilani aiming at my back. When I leave the restaurant, she follows me.
"Is it not enough that you have Kai panting after you like a Great Dane in heat? Now you have to sink your claws into Honi, too?"
Turning to face her, I don't bother to point out to her that Kai isn't at all interested in me s.e.xually. Seeing the look on her face takes away any hurt feelings I experience from her comments. It is obvious from her pained expression that she cares deeply for Honi. I decide to put her out of her misery. "Actually, Honi and I were talking about you."
She seems surprised and completely taken aback by this revelation. "Really?" She looks hopeful for a moment, but her face quickly crumples into tears. I put a comforting arm around her and am surprised when she doesn't immediately push me away. "You wouldn't understand," she tells me when I ask if there is anything I can do to help.
"I understand that Honi is a kind, loving, gentle giant of a man and that any woman would be lucky to have him. I also understand that you have won his heart," I tell her. She smiles through her tears at that, but stays rooted to her spot. I gently suggest that she should go talk to him and am happy when she follows my advice.
I watch her walk back into the restaurant with what probably looks like a self-satisfied grin on my face. I head back toward my room feeling quite good about my matchmaking skills. Hopefully, the two of them can make it work.
Chapter 21.
Kai swoops up behind me, placing a casual arm around my shoulders. "Mornin', suns.h.i.+ne." He beams the words at me as if everything is hunky dory, even though it's not-not at all.
Isn't it a prerequisite of being a single, heteros.e.xual man to try to bang any available, willing, moderately attractive female? I wonder, silently fuming.
I had been hoping to avoid the awkwardness of seeing him for the duration of my stay. He seems to be completely unaware of the tension emanating from me. "Aren't you supposed to be working?" I ask in an attempt to let him know that he doesn't need to humor me by flirting with me when he doesn't have any desire to bed me.
"I put the Be Right Back sign up at the bar and left. It's one of the perks of owning the resort." He says the words as if they are no big deal, but his revelation stuns me. This man who works as the chauffeur/bartender/fire dancer owns the resort?
Kai can evidently see the questions in my expression, so he expands. "The hotel has been in my family since my grandfather had it built over fifty years ago. When he pa.s.sed away, Nana Lana a.s.sumed owners.h.i.+p and immediately started grooming me to take it over. Now, she and I share 51 percent owners.h.i.+p of the property and the other 49 percent is in a trust for the employees. Each employee earns a fraction of a percentage of the trust for each year they work here. Our arrangement makes for loyal and happy employees."
He says it simply, as if everyone is this generous. This explanation clarifies why everyone takes on multiple posts and seems so genuinely thrilled to be here. They have an employer who isn't afraid to get down in the trenches and also profit shares with them. Despite myself, I am incredibly impressed with Kai and his grandmother. They are clearly hard-working, giving people. I admire the work ethic of a man who is willing to fill in wherever needed when he could easily hire others to do the more mundane jobs.
I'm not sure why he has shared all of this information with me, and I grudgingly realize that it makes me like him even more. I don't want to like him more. I want to find his flaws-other than not wanting me, of course.
I decide to be direct. "Why are you telling me all of this?" Before he can answer, I continue, "You don't have to explain anything to me. It's okay that you don't want me the way that I want you."
He seems completely taken aback by my words. "You think I don't want you?"
I widen my eyes at him, but don't answer. What else could I possibly think after yesterday? I wonder.
Kai pulls me into his arms, but I keep my upper body stiff. "I want you more than I have ever desired anyone," he tells me.
I turn away from him then. His words are exactly what I want to hear, but after he left me willing, topless, and completely aroused in the water, I know they can't possibly be true. I can't take any more of this hot-and-cold treatment.
He moves close behind me, and I can feel the heat of him at my back as we stand near my villa. "Does this feel like a man who doesn't want you?" He presses into me and I can feel his hot, hard erection against my lower spine. He nips at my ear, and I gasp at the pleasure of it.
I glance around to make sure no one is watching us. He puts his hand over mine and pulls it to him, guiding my hand up and down his length over his jeans. "I want you with every inch of my body and soul." He breathes the words out along my neck, and then hisses as my fingers squeeze over him.
Since my hand is rubbing him without his help, he brings his arms around me to pull me tighter back against his front. His hands slide up my belly and under the waistband of my bra. He gently pulls and lifts the undergarment until my b.r.e.a.s.t.s spring free underneath it. When he places a hand on each breast and nibbles at my ear, I let out a quiet whimper of delight.
I want this man so much. Right here and right now. Well, inside the room, but as quickly as possible. I turn to face him and press my front into him as I kiss my way along his neck. He has to bend down for me to kiss his lips-a first for me-but he obliges.
Soon our tongues are tangled and our hands are roving over each other's fully clothed bodies as we meld into each other. I boldly decide to throw caution to the wind and reach for the snap of his pants. His hand closes over mine, halting its progress.
"We need to go inside." I quickly realize that things have gotten out of control. Saying a silent prayer that Baggy and Ruthie have vacated the room, I use my free hand to dig in my bag for my room key.
"No, we have to stop," he tells me, backing away slightly. I feel like I have been slapped in the face with icy-cold water. How can we be desperate for each other one moment, and he shuns me the next? I just don't understand it.
"Do you need to get back to the bar?" I ask, almost hopeful but knowing deep down that I am grasping at straws, reaching for a plausible explanation.
"No, I can't do this with you at all." He dashes my slight hope as he backs away from me, running a hand through his s.h.i.+ny black hair.
"I see." I say the words flatly, and I do see. Some part of him wants me. Even though it is a substantial part (as I discovered through his jeans), the logical and rational side of him knows that I am not good enough for him. All sorts of insecure thoughts erupt in my brain while we stand there for what seems to be a very long time, but probably actually isn't long at all. I turn to go into my villa.
"You don't understand." I halt, hoping beyond hope that he can come up with something that will help his sudden change of heart make sense and not hurt so much. "I want to rip your clothes off right here. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything," he informs me.
His words make warmth spread back through me, but I still don't understand what the problem can possibly be. He is silent for a long while, making me wonder if he is going to explain or make me guess.
Finally, he speaks again, but his voice is so soft that I second-guess if I have heard him correctly. I think he said "I can't make love to you."
I stand there waiting, uncertain what to say. His next words, while still quiet, confirm that I heard him right. "I can't have s.e.x with anyone."
My eyes involuntarily travel down to his still enormous p.e.n.i.s. It is obviously not a lack of ability to get it up that is causing his hesitation. My next thought is that maybe he has a s.e.xually transmitted disease. If that's the case, I appreciate his concern and caution, but I have a solution for that. "Why don't you wear a condom?" At his perplexed look, I expand, "I know guys don't like wearing them, but s.e.x with a condom is better than no s.e.x at all, right?"
He doesn't seem to be getting what I am saying, so I go on. "Besides, a condom will protect me from an unwanted pregnancy and any issues you have going on down there." I point to his genital region, thinking that he has probably bedded a significant number of women.
"I don't have any STDs." He wrinkles his nose. "It's nothing like that," he tells me. Again, he stops talking for so long that I wonder if he is going to explain more, but he takes a couple of steps away from me. Just when I begin to think that he really might leave me hanging like this, he stops and speaks without turning to face me. His words are so quiet that I instantly become convinced that I have misunderstood him. "Wait, what?" I ask him.
He speaks only slightly louder this time, but confirms what I thought I had heard him say-some of the most unbelievable words that could possibly come out of his mouth. "I'm a virgin."
"A virgin?" I blurt out, almost sounding angry in my disbelief. His words are incomprehensible. How could this s.e.xy, virile hunk of manhood have not had s.e.x before? The idea is completely preposterous. It would have been easier to believe he had a third t.e.s.t.i.c.l.e or even a polka-dotted p.e.n.i.s than to buy this "never been touched" bologna he is trying to feed me. "No way," I finally splutter.
Eventually, he turns to face me, which allows me to better gauge his sincerity. "It's true," he says simply.
My instincts believe that he is telling the truth, but my mind just can't accept his revelation as fact. I don't know if I can trust my inner voice or if I just want to believe him. "How? . . . Why? . . . What?" I can't seem to formulate a question that asks him what I want to know without sounding rude. I feel like yelling "How in the h.e.l.l have you existed in that perfect body for this long without someone jumping your bones?" An appropriate version of that question eludes me, though.
Seeing my inner struggle, Kai finally decides to provide a better explanation. He takes my hand, and we both sit down in the rattan chairs outside the villa. "My father was from the mainland. He came to the island to scout some property for his job, and he swept my mother off her feet. She thought they were in love. He apparently was just looking for a good time during his stint in Hawaii. On his final night here, she thought he was planning to propose. She was working out in her mind how she would make arrangements to move to California to be with him. Instead of a marriage proposal, he informed her that he had enjoyed their visit, but he needed to get back to his real life."
I can hear the sadness for his mother's heartache in his voice as he continues. "She was devastated and never fully recovered from her broken heart. When she found out she was pregnant with me, she did some research to find him so she could let him know about the pregnancy. She even went so far as to fly to California to tell him in person, only to learn of his engagement to someone else. She left without talking to him and spent the rest of her life turning down offers from every man who approached her. She was a beauty on the outside, but her heart was too damaged to ever fall in love again."
Hearing about his mother's heart-wrenching sadness makes my throat burn in empathy for her. She loved with her entire heart, only to have her feelings stomped on, and it created a lifetime of loneliness for her. I fear that I may be headed down the very same path with Kai. How could I help but fall for this handsome, kindhearted man even more as he shares his mother's story with me? I still lack clarity on what her sad past has to do with Kai's alleged virginity, though.