The Royal Hunter Part 9

hold it as long as she needed him to. And she did find strength there. She turned back to Baleweg, who stood waiting with endless patient wisdom glowing from his ethereal eyes... and lifted her hand to his.

Chapter 5.

I_can't do it." Talia turned stubbornly away from Baleweg and looked out the window at the setting sun. Instead she spied Archer leaning against the paddock fence talking to her kennel a.s.sistant, Stella. Great. She was stuck in here playing mind games and he was out there distracting her employees. Judging from the smile on Stella's young face, she wasn't minding a whole lot. Talia's scowl deepened. "You can do it, Talia. Come, let us try again." Talia sighed and wondered for at least the thousandth time why she'd let them barge into her life. Not that she'd had a h.e.l.l of a lot of choice. Baleweg had promptly taken over the tower sewing room yesterday and had made it his own. Talia never used the room and had had no problem with the choice; it put him at a distance from her own room in the opposite tower. Until he'd made it clear that they were to begin their studies in this room. Immediately. She faced Baleweg squarely. "We've been at this since late yesterday almost nonstop. I have explained that my ability to feel emotions is limited to animals. And even if I could connect with people, I don't see how that will help me to heal them."

Baleweg's expression didn't so much as flicker. Talia sighed yet again. "I realize this seems a rather overwhelming task," he said at length. "That's an understatement," she said under her breath. To him she said, "You're not even a healer, so how can you teach me to be one anyway?"

"No one can teach you to be a healer. You are born to it. As is the case with you. Obviously your mother had little time to bring forth your natural ability.

And it's apparent from what you've told me that you've done your best to suppress even your empathic skills." He tapped his wide forehead with his finger. "My skills lie in delving into the hidden powers of the mind. My hope is to help you delve into yours, help you free your natural abilities. In order to do that, I have to teach you how to focus, to stretch the boundaries of your empathic skills. Once you feel more comfortable with those skills you are aware of, those more deeply buried will surface."

Talia's breath hitched at the casual mention of her mother. She tried not to let

him notice, but of course he did.

"Your mother would be proud of what you are doing, Talia. I am sorry you knew so little of this side of her."

"I didn't know any of it!"

He smiled kindly. "Perhaps you know more than you're aware of. She told you tales of her life. What do you remember of those nighttime stories?"

Just enough to frustrate her, Talia thought, and not enough to fully convince

her that they were telling the truth. After all, it was a pretty d.a.m.n fantastical truth. And there were no other explanations forthcoming. "They were just stories," she said stubbornly. But they both knew she was beginning to believe they had been much more than that.

He didn't push her. "Perhaps in return for all our hard work," he said, "I can

tell you some of what I knew of her."

He certainly knew the right carrot to dangle. "I would like that," she said honestly. In fact, it was learning about her mother as much as anything else that had prodded her to go along. "But I can't see where studying harder will

change anything. Surely if I'd had any healing powers, they'd have surfaced by

now."

"We've only been at this a day. Patience." But his eyes clouded ever so briefly, betraying his own anxiety. Wonderful.

"I am trying," she said quietly. "I just don't want to mislead you into believing I can actually help this... this-"

"Catriona."Talia felt a little s.h.i.+ver along her spine. "Why are you doing this? I mean, I know Archer is doing it for the money. Are you doing it because you're close to the... the queen?" Just saying that felt strange... and yet...

"I'm doing this because I loved your mother. She was, perhaps, the daughter I never had." He shrugged, for the first time looking uncomfortable. "I suppose I was more mentor to her than father. We shared a great love for exploring the powers of the mind. She had an endless thirst for knowledge."

Talia had gone completely still. She had no doubt Baleweg spoke the truth. It was there in every note, every fiber of his very electric being. She asked the question that had been on her mind since she first realized he was close to Eleri. "Did she tell you who my father was?"

Baleweg looked even more sorrowful. "I'm so sorry. She didn't confide in me as a rule. Our relations.h.i.+p wasn't of that nature. When her life was threatened because of her alliance to the king, her power to help him, she knew the only way to protect you was to leave her own time. So she came to me and I helped her. I'm here now to prepare you for a task she never had the chance to."

"I don't want to disappoint you," Talia said honestly.

His expression cleared and he seemed relieved to return to his role as mentor.

"I believe that if you can begin to connect with humans, your hidden talents

should begin to surface."

"I've never once felt anything from another person. Only animals."

"It's all in the focus. I can teach you to shut out external stimulation and see

with your mind's eye."

Everything inside her s.h.i.+ed away from this. If she took on animals' pain as her

own and found that draining and potentially destructive, she couldn't imagine taking on human pain and surviving with her own soul intact.

"It need not always be pain, Talia. Surely you connect with other emotions."

She paused, then nodded. "Usually only after I've known the animal, though. I

generally don't have an animal long enough to have much experience with that." Just Marblehead, Beatrice's old torn. She connected with him effortlessly and usually it warmed her. But that was rare.

"Empaths, at least in our time..."Our time. He did that, talked about them as if they were both of his time. As if she were little more than a visitor in her own. Oddly, if she thought about it, hadn't she always felt like that? A misfit, an outcast?"... must have some strong feeling about their subject to make the connection.

Your connection with these unknown beasties is your empathizing with their suffering. For one as sensitive as you, this qualifies as a strong feeling. But the feeling can manifest itself in other ways. There might be depression, pain, even hate. But there can also be joy. Elation. Love."

There weren't many people who'd had the full measure of her love. Beatrice, her mother. Both beyond her reach now. If she'd connected with her mother, she hadn't recalled it. And she'd never thought to try with Beatrice. It had certainly never simply happened on its own.

Someday I'll show you a place where your powers are revered.

Her mother's words rang clearly in her mind, the memory obviously provoked by Baleweg's reminiscences. She wanted to clap her hands over her ears, drown out both Baleweg and her mother. Yet another part of her undeniably yearned to reach out and embrace that possible truth.

"Okay." She swore under her breath, then took another slow, steadying one.

"Tell me again what to do. I'll try."

Baleweg turned to her and drifted his hand over her eyes. As always, his touch sent a ripple of odd, yet immensely pleasurable sensations over her. Her eyes shut as his hand pa.s.sed over them.

"Clear your mind of all voices save mine."

She tried her best, then nodded.

"You must think of someone you feel strongly about."

She nodded again, though she had no one left to focus her thoughts on. She'd

tried everyone she could think of already. Stella, her head kennel a.s.sistant. They weren't overly close-she wasn't overly close with anyone-but she did like the teenager. Nothing. She'd tried a few of the residents at the Lodge whom she was fond of. Nothing there, either.

She thought about the vet, Ken. He was a nice enough guy. What the h.e.l.l. She

focused on him, then nodded to signal her readiness.

"No noise, Talia. Block it out. Hear nothing. Smell nothing. See nothing.

Focus your mind on the essence of this person, yet visualize no images."

Kindness. Distraction. Focus. Frustration. All these things were the essence of Ken. He was so bighearted, yet saw nothing beyond his desire to help animals, often frustrated by his own limitations, Talia took a deep breath, trying to keep her mind blank.

"Reach out and touch this essence, pull it inside yourself, make it your own.

Feel what he feels."

Talia tried, ignoring how Baleweg knew it was a he. It was awkward and she felt inordinately clumsy. With animals there was no effort needed. Their feelings simply invaded her and took over. Originally it had happened so swiftly she'd had no control over it and had frequently been swamped with sudden raging pain. She'd learned over the years to build a defense, a warning system of sorts. She still couldn't keep the pain away, but she could brace herself. She wasn't often blindsided, but then, she rarely put herself in a position for nasty surprises.

But this... this reaching out into the blankness, seeking a connection rather than simply accepting one that was reaching for her... It was impossible.

"Do not give up. Remain in the darkness, yet open yourself."

Talia tried, really she did. Then she had a sudden vision of Obi Wan Ken.o.bi intoning "Let the force be with you" over Luke Skywalker's ecstatic face and lost it altogether. She managed to not burst out laughing, but the moment was irretrievably lost. She opened her eyes and turned away, hoping he didn't see the lingering humor in her eyes. "I'm sorry. There's nothing there."

"This is no game we're playing, Talia."

For the first time she heard a sharp edge in his tone. She spun back, all images of Obi Wan gone. "I understand that. But I'm not feeling anything."

"Perhaps you need a different subject."

"I don't have a different subject!" She was yelling now. Suddenly and

overwhelmingly, all the things that had happened in the last twenty-four hours came cras.h.i.+ng down on her. "I've gone through everyone I know and it's a short list. I keep to myself, okay? I'm a loner, a recluse, a hermit, whatever