Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel Part 5

After visiting several other meetings, Joseph Wood came to Lancaster, where he was again met by John Yeardley.

On the 21st we attended both their meetings in Lancaster. The forenoon meeting began at ten o'clock. When we got there we were agreeably surprised to find dear John Yeardley, who had walked this morning fifteen miles to meet us. The meeting was large of Friends, and it proved a time of renewed visitation unto many who were afar off, and of encouragement to those who were nigh. I had a very long testimony to bear therein, from Matt. xxii. 12. John Yeardley had a short but very acceptable time next, from Esther iv. 14. Afterwards I was concerned in prayer.

Elizabeth Yeardley speaks of this visit in one of her letters:--

J.Y. went to Lancaster, though the day was unfavorable. He trudged on foot to meet Joseph Wood, and got in good time for the meeting, fifteen miles distant, and returned home the same evening. J. W. was very much favored all the time he was in those parts; he really appears endowed with astonis.h.i.+ng powers.

The same letter affords a glimpse of the social position, which John and Elizabeth Yeardley occupied at Bentham:--

We are very quiet, have kind neighbors, a very pleasant habitation, and little society, plenty of books both of the religious and amusing kind, and leisure to meditate on the one thing needful, which is to fit us for that place to which we are fast hastening:--

"For who the longest lease enjoy Have told us with a sigh, That to be born seems little more Than to begin to die."

(13_th of Seventh Month_, 1818.)

John Yeardley, no less than his wife, found in Bentham a seasonable retreat from the hara.s.sing cares of the world. A memorandum made in the autumn of this year shows that the doubts with which he was perplexed on the subject of his removal from Barnsley, were entirely dispelled, and that the change in his abode and position had been the happy means of relieving him from the load of anxiety which once seemed ready to crush him.

1819. 9 _mo_. 15.--The tender, merciful Father who shelters our heads in battle has covered mine when many things were hot upon me. He has provided a retreat for me until the fury of the oppressor be overpast. I have often wondered at the cause which drove me from my former residence, but I now begin to see pointedly the hand of Providence bringing me to this place of quiet retreat. Should He who has brought me thus far see it to be for my good to set me on the banks of deliverance, may I have no desire to live for anything but to sing his praise!

After being recognised by the Church as a minister, he was again tried with a season of spiritual desertion; and this phase in his religious history, with his reflections upon it, and the holy resolution and hope with which he concludes, may be useful in strengthening the faith of others under similar circ.u.mstances.

10 _mo_. 4.--O what a stripping time have I had since I wrote last!

My pen would fail to set forth the inward desertion I have experienced for months past, so that my poor mind is almost worn out with waiting and watching in the absence of the Bridegroom of souls. My enemy seems to have set up his throne in me, and leads my wandering thoughts captive at his pleasure. I have no weapons of my own to fight him with, and it seems as if Infinite Goodness had refused me the grant of that armor which I have before experienced the means of putting my adversary to flight. For what end this may be I know not, but the suffering time is hard to the natural part. If I am left to perish, O may it be in praying, trusting and believing in my Redeemer's love! and if I am not suffered to behold again the brightness of his glorious countenance here on earth, may I be favored with it s.h.i.+ning on me in heaven!

At the commencement of this year, 1819, apprehending himself required to pay a religious visit to the families of Friends in Barnsley, he consulted Joseph Wood on the subject, who encouraged him "not to be afraid to pursue" the path which had been opened before him. In relation to this prospect of service, J.Y. has the following pertinent remarks on the ministry:--

2 _mo_. 19.--If I am suffered to go, may the humble spirit of Jesus go with me, and put a word in my heart that may prove as a sword in my hand, with which I may fight his battles! This is the only way in which his servants can minister so as to reach the witness in the hearts of his children. We might speak on subjects which might seem right and fit in themselves, but it is as our hearts come to be acted upon immediately by the Spirit of truth, the same principle which prepares us to utter sound words, prepares also a counterpart in the minds of others to receive them.

Thus it may be said we become _one_ in spirit and truly edified together in the love of the Gospel.

In order to perform the visit, J.Y. had, in the good order in use amongst Friends, to receive the concurrence of his Monthly Meeting.

3 _mo_. 10.--Was at the Monthly Meeting, where I mentioned to my friends my prospect of visiting Barnsley, and obtained their sympathetic concurrence, with a copy of a minute expressing their full unity and approbation.

My feelings on the occasion were very different from what I had antic.i.p.ated. A divine solemnity appeared so to cover the minds of all present, that the enemy was trodden under foot, and not a fear was suffered to approach. What condescending goodness of a tender Father to his weak children!

Some interesting notice of this service, and of the journey which he made to perform it, is contained in his Diary.

13_th_.--The evening before I set off, I was earnestly engaged in supplicating for divine protection both inward and outward; and an a.s.surance was given me that it should be granted, and in a manner so clear as I had no right to expect. These words were as if spoken distinctly in my outward ears: "A hair of thy head shall not be hurt." In the confidence of this promise I went forth, and found it mercifully made good; for though I was overturned in the mail on the road, a hair of my head was not hurt, and not so much as a fear was suffered to come near.

On the 18th, after visiting all the families, he attended the Week-day Meeting, where he had to review his labors, and to address the a.s.sembled Friends "nearly in these words:--In the course of my little proceedings among my friends in this place, I have sometimes been baptized for the dead, while at other times I have been made to rejoice in the resurrection of life: I hope this is a language my friends will understand." After this he preached to them on the case of Nicodemus, saying that there may be a time when our Heavenly Father, in his tender compa.s.sion for our infant state, permits us to come to Jesus by night or in secret; yet when he is pleased to say, "Arise, s.h.i.+ne, for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee," danger will betide us if we then flinch from an open confession. Some time after he had finished, a woman Friend rose and uttered a few words. She had never before been able to overcome the force of her natural fears.

In noticing this circ.u.mstance, J.Y. says he does so because, before he went to Barnsley, he asked that if his small services were acceptable, the Most High would give him a sign, by owning his labors with his sensible approbation, and making him an instrument to help forward his work in the hearts of his children.

On another occasion, in allusion to a similar occurrence, he has the following reflections:--

"The Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified." I am like the two former, because I dare even to ask a sign and to seek after wisdom; but to be like the latter is what I covet most sincerely--to preach Christ crucified, not only in words, but in life and conversation. If I err in sometimes asking for a sign, I trust it will be forgiven, because it is done in the simplicity of my heart, to know my Father's will, and we have examples of this having been granted to the worthies in times of old.--(12 _mo_. 8.)

In the Twelfth Month of 1819, John Yeardley attended the Quarterly Meeting at York, and has some religious service on the way. His account of this little journey is preceded by some instructive reflections on his own infirmities and lack of ready obedience.

9 _mo_. 15.--I feel exceedingly discouraged at my own obstinacy in not keeping more humble, watchful, and attentive to the inward monitor. I am sensible loss is sustained in a religions sense by giving way too much to an airy disposition.

12 _mo_. 12.--When I consider the many years which have elapsed since I first enlisted under the Lord's banner, I find cause deeply to reproach myself for want of a more early and implicit obedience to the _divine will_; the want of which, I fully believe, has been the means of plunging me into seas of trouble and years of perplexity. I fear the time lost will never be redeemed. O, should I ever have to warn others to beware of the rock on which I have split, surely it may be done through heartfelt experience indeed! And as the glorious light of the sun begins mercifully to verge from under the cloud, O, may I never, never forget the sacred covenant made in the days of my deep distress, that if the Lord would loosen my bonds, then would I serve him freely.

25_th_.--I went to Thornton to R.W.'s, and next day to Lothersdale Meeting, accompanied by D.W. and some other part of R.W.'s family. The forepart of that meeting was very trying, at which I did not wonder, if we might judge from a previous feeling; for ever since the prospect of this little visit presented to my view, I felt a load on my spirit which I could not by any means cast off. On entering the place, I thought, when our dear Lord sent forth his disciples, he commanded them to take neither purse nor scrip; and that if this state of poverty of spirit was any badge of disciples.h.i.+p, some of us might claim to wear it. The language of the weeping prophet came also before me--"O that my head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people." It was hard work for me, a poor stripling, to have to intimate such close things; but the conclusion was easier to the natural part, I having to address a few to whom the language seemed to go forth, of "Mary, the Master is come, and calleth for thee."

I went from thence to the Quarterly Meeting at York, which was thinly attended. The meeting for wors.h.i.+p seemed a cloudy season; however a little matter impressed my mind which I was thankful in being enabled to get rid of, though hard to flesh and blood, it being the first time my voice has been heard in this Quarterly Meeting in ministry. The meeting for business was long and tedious, being protracted four and a half days by an appeal.

It was disagreeable in its nature, but was conducted in a way to afford information and instruction to the minute observer of men, manners and things.

1820.--Our first extract from this year's diary contains a short but beautiful reflection:--

2 _mo_. 18.--I am convinced it would be better for us to live more in the inward spirit of prayer; we should live in nearer union with the Father of love; receive more of his heavenly embraces; the heart would be prepared to know more of his holy will, and receive power to perform it.

When John Yeardley left Barnsley he commenced a correspondence with his brother Thomas, which lasted until the death of the latter, J.Y.'s letters have been preserved, and supply us with much that is valuable in his character and Christian experience. The following extract shows the power of sympathy which he possessed towards those with whom he was entirely intimate:--

4 mo. 24, 1820.

Thy affectionate letter I received with pleasure, though some parts of its contents penetrated the deepest recesses of my heart, and excited in me every tender sympathetic feeling of a brother and a friend.

I rejoice that thou hast found freedom to speak so candidly the undisguised language of thy heart; to me it seems like a voice from the dead, because I conceive it to be the voice of that awakened principle in thee which, as in many others, may have been held too long in captivity through the predominance of the surfeiting cares of the world. Whenever thou inclinest to unbosom to me thou mayest do it with freedom and in confidence, for, be a.s.sured, if thy complaints cannot meet with relief, they will at least meet with a welcome reception and a heartfelt condolence; for I could have no claim to the least of the Christian virtues, if I were dest.i.tute of a feeling regard for the sufferings of a friend, and especially a brother.

A few months afterwards he was again called upon deeply to sympathise with his brother. The occasion this time was the perplexity in matters of business in which Thomas Yeardley was involved. He expressed his feelings in a letter in which he not only gives the soundest Christian counsel, but also shows how he was himself indebted to the same maxims for the preservation of his honor and of his spiritual life and usefulness. The firm and practical manner in which the subject is treated render his remarks of permanent value.