Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 5 Chapter 61 Ss Tsugihagu If Part1

Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.

Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.

Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.

Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.

Patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together.

Patching together, patching together, patching together, and even now, as he patched himself together, he was still incomplete――

???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]

The little girl, Amue Sears, held her breath at that question.

It was quite an ordinary question, without any real coherence to it. It should have been a dull question that wouldn’t have required much time or preparation to answer. If you know it, you know. If you don’t know it, you don’t. That’s all it was.

Amue:「――――」

But, Amue’s voice did not come out at that question, even if it were to be seen at face value.

Life was a series of choices. This was the reality which even Amue, who had just turned 14 years of age, was well aware of from her experiences in her short life.

When it comes to life, decisions have to be made in just about everything. It begins from small, ordinary things, or, perhaps it was a variety of the big decisions that affect life. But, setting aside whether they were big or small, life was made up entirely of decisions.

And now, a question which held the greatest weight of her 14 years alive was raised at Amue Sears. Or perhaps, it was the greatest decision of her life. That dull, insignificant question, with nothing special about it, that had been raised just before, was that very thing.

???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]

The repeated question kept tightening Amue’s throat. Nevertheless, the one who had raised the question didn’t seem to have wanted to cause that. It was even a kindness to repeat the question once again; such a consideration felt like quite an imbalance.

If it was the one questioning that was tormenting Amue, then it was also the one questioning that held the most anxiety for Amue. In truth, she understood that he was just seeking an answer to the question. That’s why Amue would have to grope for the right solution amongst the options, without any hints other than what was available from pondering it over within her head.

――What would really be the correct answer?

Know it, or don’t know it: which was the one that the questioner was looking for? Or perhaps it would be better to answer that she knew it, even if she didn’t? Or, would it be better to answer that she didn’t know it, even if she did? ――Amue’s heart shrieked at the two anguis.h.i.+ng choices.

???: [――Hey. Do. You. Know. My. Name?]

Each part of the question that was once again repeated was punctuated in impatience. Even if they didn’t understand each other, would that make him anxious? That fear plucked at Amue’s chest. To be honest, she could be convinced that if she didn’t answer with either a “Yes” or “No” that it’d be unconditionally impossible to meet the questioner’s expectations.

She couldn’t end it still without saying anything, still without giving a response, and still without making a decision. She would not be set free. ――Only in that, there was no doubt.

Amue:「――――」

Still her voice didn’t come out. She returned the gaze of those black eyes which were right in front of her. Amue pondered. Within those vacant black eyes, the terrible visage of the haggard Amue herself could be seen within them. She really didn’t want to say it out loud, but in her own appearance, she was self-conscious of the way she could be seen; she had become a mere shadow of her former self.

Being absolutely terrified of the dominance of the questioner right in front of her eyes, she cowered.

Amue’s face was drawn out, exhausted, as if she had aged dozens of years all at once. If things continued this way, she’d end up dying by the mere pressure of the question itself; fragilely she――

???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]

The strong feeling of pressure that gave her the impression of death suddenly, quite on the contrary, inspired hope within Amue. Whilst Amue experienced the suffocating sensation that felt like her chest was about to cave in, a premonition that she’d answer the question and then be set free encompa.s.sed her. Just as she thought that, she realised that the dismal sensation that been dominating her entire body had started to fade.

A sense of suffocation had come from the strong pressure of her doubts concerning what she should answer. Since she wanted to be set free from this, she would need to bite down her anxiety at the initial question. Perhaps it was a kind of self-defence instinct, but for Amue in this moment, this appeared like a divine revelation. Therefore, with her lips trembling, she once again stared back into those black eyes.

???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]

She would be set free from her current suffocation by answering the question. With all her willpower, Amue finally moved her trembling tongue, and formed some words.

Amue: [N… no……]

In accordance with her heart, Amue replied that she didn’t know. She released her thoughts from the choices which had been up until then endlessly spinning around in her mind. 

She answered the question with utmost lucidity. In fact, she didn’t know neither the name or face of the questioner that stood in front of her.

When it came to her, who lived in a place that ought to be called the borderlands, the so to speak remote countryside, events from the Kingdom, even serious ones, were like rumours from a faraway land.

That’s why, no matter how much of a big shot he was, to her, he was a stranger that she didn’t know――

???: [――Is that so?]

It was a short reply. She couldn’t tell whether deep emotion or dejection had been put into that reply. But Amue’s decision had been formed. What came after was the questioner’s problem.

If life was a series of choices and decisions, then that was the same for anyone. Since Amue had chosen, the questioner would also have to chose.

Amue:「――――」

The 14 year old little girl waited for the questioner’s choice silently.

――She waited for his answer all alone in the middle of a village where no one had been left except for her.

???: 『Hey, Subaru. Isn’t it time for lunch soon?』

Stopping in his tracks at hearing that call, Natsuki Subaru rubbed his stomach. The time had already pa.s.sed noon, and now that it had been mentioned, he was indeed feeling hungry. The reason behind why he hadn’t noticed it until now was because he had been concentrating on walking about without heed. The main road continued endlessly on and on to the extent that he had to concentrate entirely on walking. If he were to think about where he was headed to, it’d get to the extent that he’d feel depressed; such was how absurdly long the journey was.

Subaru:「Though, a break is important don’t you think? My bad, Emilitan. Did you get tired?」

Emilia:『Not at all, I’m doing fine. But, it was just on my mind that I was worried for Subaru, who’s been walking all this time. If you’re alright, it’s fine, but….』

Subaru:「Nono, that’s right, my stomach was rumbling as well. I’m absolutely starving, almost to the point where my stomach was dangerously close to sticking to my back. Heh, how dangerous how dangerous.」

Emilia:『Is that so? That would be a reaaaaaally dangerous place for them to be, right….』

Having heard Subaru’s answer, who had exaggeratedly placed his hands on his stomach, the silver haired girl―― Emilia placed her hand against her mouth and giggled. Her features looked the prettiest in this world, and the sound of her voice was rather like that of a silver bell. As that smiling face drew nearer, Subaru scratched his head and also let his lips split into a smile. And, from beside those two――

???:『Don’t tease Emilia too much, I suppose. No matter how rumbly your stomach is, it’s impossible for your stomach and back to stick together, in fact.』

Subaru:「Oopsy」

When he turned his head to look at the direction of the voice, Beatrice was there, a composed expression resting on her face and her arms folded. Subaru suddenly narrowed his eyes at the point made by the little girl who was wearing a pretty dress. Seeing that, Beatrice furrowed her well-kept eyebrows and said『What, I suppose?』

Beatrice:『Subaru’s face is a little unsettling, in fact. What’s the matter, I suppose?』

Subaru:「It was so cute when you said rumbly. Say it again!」

Beatrice:『Grrrrr, in fact! Don’t get caught up in such strange things, I suppose!』

With her face flushed, Beatrice snapped back at Subaru’s frivolous words. Subaru and Emilia both exchanged glances and laughed seeing how Beatrice had reacted. She had puffed out her cheeks even more. Seeing her like that was really cute. ――There was no mistake about it. If he were to tell her this directly, he would probably dampen her mood. After confirming that, Subaru rolled up one of his sleeves with an「Alright!」

Subaru:「Well then, how about we take advantage of Emilitan’s concern and start lunchtime? For the time being, let me show off my talent. Any requests?」

Emilia:『Ah, well then, I want you to use mayonnaise. Hey, look, I imagine Ram just made some mayonnaise again, right?』

Subaru:「Of course, of course, it’s my pleeeeasure if that’s Emilitan’s order! Luckily, there’s plenty thanks to Ram’s stockpiles. She finally recognised the appeal mayonnaise has…」

Ram:『――Stop saying such idiotic things.』

Subaru:「Uwaaa!?」

After he placed down the baggages that he had been carrying, Subaru started to make a campsite just off of the main road. Seeing some slender legs standing roughly beside him, pale pink eyes were staring down at the surprised Subaru. The figure stood embracing her own arms, an air of majesticness about her. The girl held a look that showed nary a trace of hospitality as a stark contrast to the maid outfit she donned――

Subaru:「That was quite the abrupt greeting, eh, Ram. At least let me finish what I’m saying!」

Ram:『Hah! Stop making me laugh. I only help out in making mayonnaise because it’s a professional order. Would Ram trust in such a flavouring that’s just sour and white? Disgusting.』

Subaru:「Saying it’s disgusting is such an overstatement! To begin with, you shouldn’t be able to deny the explosive power of using mayonnaise on steamed potatoes! I won’t let you say that the taste is a lie!」

A flavour coated in plenty of mayonnaise on the steamed potatoes that came fresh from the oven which were full of salt. The sweetness of the forbidden flavours which overwhelmed one’s tongue was an Eden that should be savoured by any mayonnaise lover at least once――Potatoes and mayonnaise indisputably held the highest compatibility with each other that could never lose its l.u.s.tre.

Subaru’s mouth watered as he recalled that splendid harmony of taste. Were the ones next to Subaru imagining the same taste? He could see Emilia and Beatrice’s eyes s.h.i.+mmering.

Subaru:「Look at that, the reactions of two cute gourmands! Seeing that, can you still slander mayonnaise with your heresy!?」

Ram:『……Ah well. It’s as Barusu says. The magnificence of steamed potatoes is such that even strange seasonings like mayonnaise can add value to them.』

Subaru:「It’s not that way,  it’s the opposite! No, even me saying the opposite isn’t right, it’s more like you’re being stubborn. Isn’t that right, nee-sama!」

In the end, Ram would never yield to saying that the contribution of mayonnaise was greater than that of steamed potatoes. Even though Subaru shook his fist at that obstinate att.i.tude, Emilia broke into strained laughter, speaking out a “Now now, settle down” to the two of them.

Emilia:『Subaru, calm down. I like both mayonnaise and steamed potatoes, as well as mayonnaise placed on steamed potatoes. Besides, it’s rather just down to the fact that Ram can’t bring herself to be honest.』

Ram:『……Emilisama, please stop concerning yourself with speaking out Ram’s thoughts as you please. Ram’s target age is going to lower with Emilisama speaking like that.』

Emilia:『S-sorry. But, what do you mean by target age……..?』

Emilia was perplexed by Ram’s unreasonable and unintelligible reaction. However, the feelings which had been expressed in the two’s conversation weren’t  ones of moodiness, but rather they were feelings of unconcealable deep affection and faith. On the contrary, Emilia and Ram had built up quite an ideal relations.h.i.+p with each other. Calling it a master-servant relations.h.i.+p was quite a delicate issue as from Ram’s perspective she didn’t think of herself as a subordinate, however there were more bonds between the two of them. And only Subaru understood those well. In any case――

Subaru:「I feel bad for Nee-sama, but Emilitan’s word of G.o.d takes complete priority. That’s the style of this party. Anywho, today’s lunch will have a whole bunch of mayonnaise!」

Emilia:『Yaaay, yippee!』

Emilia clapped in delight, and Ram gave an exasperated sigh. Even so, that was enough for Ram to not cling onto it more than that. Emilia herself understood its deliciousness. Of course, since Subaru was a true, unbridled mayo-lover, he would be the biased judge for this menu.

Subaru:「Of course, Beako loves mayonnaise a lot just like me. It makes you happy, right?」

Beatrice:『I can’t deny it, in fact. But, the oh so omniscient manner you speak about it in is irritating, I suppose. Betty’s anger isn’t easy to dispel, in fact. I want a delicious meal for that, I suppose.』

Subaru:「Hehe, as you wish.」

Puffing out her slender chest, Beatrice made her cute special request. Subaru gave a bow at the request. After seeing that dramatic gesture, and making sure that Emilia and the others were satisfied, they began preparing the meal. Even so, they couldn’t make such an elaborate meal in the open air. Of course, if they used the power of magic they could use fire and water like that, but,

Emilia:『I’m sorry, Subaru. I can’t really help you out much.』

Subaru:「You needn’t say sorry. Now is my time to s.h.i.+ne, don’t you think? On the contrary, it’s fine if you fall in love with me again when I show off my unexpected creative skills.」

Emilia:『Jeez, you’re such an idiot.』

Returning a smile at Emilia who still had a faint smile on her face, Subaru set about on coming up with something to prepare the meal with the ingredients that were at his disposal now. Food was what provided their energy each day; he didn’t want to be shoddy with it. Checking the contents of his baggages, Subaru did everything he could to prepare a meal which could meet everyone’s needs. Everyone that accompanied him would be given tasty food to eat.

He hadn’t thought about it up until now, but it would be delightful for everyone to receive his tasty cooking that he had made to eat. That too served as a motivation for him as he made the food. If he was able to do such a simple thing so well, then that ought to have delighted his mother quite a lot.

Emilia:『Mhmhmhmhm……』

Whilst confining those emotions to a corner of his mind, Subaru peered out nearby at those who were busying themselves cooking and his cheeks relaxed at seeing the cheerful figures of Emilia and the others. He could even hear some humming. It was out of tune.

???:『Oho, the one on meal duty today is onii-sa~n. That’s quite worryi~ng.』

Meili had appeared as they were making the preparations for the meal. She turned towards Subaru, giving him a look that was not suiting to her age as she twiddled her fingers through her deep blue braided hair. Subaru returned her gaze with a suspicious look in his eyes on seeing her sweetly smiling figure.

Subaru:「Worrying, huh? What worries. I ain’t going to let a girl who says such impertinent things eat!」

Meili:『Wow, that’s abu~se. Besides, isn’t it Onii-san that tries to soak everything in may~onnaise? I don’t really like it at all.』

Subaru:「Wh- what!? You as well don’t know the charm of mayonnaise……!?」

Meili:『Don’t make a face like the world’s about to e~nd.』

Meili gave a sigh at seeing Subaru making such an astonished face. But, the shock that Subaru had received on hearing her reply was immeasurable. Even if it wasn’t tantamount to it being the end of the world, the shock he had received was like as if he had realised it was the end of this year.  

???:『Even so, I think you’re taking it a little too seriously. Miss Meili was just saying that she was not on the same wavelength as you, who tries to mix mayonnaise into just about any ingredient.』

Subaru:「Ugh……」

It was Julius who had followed up Meili’s words, as she showed her objections to mayonnaise. He was a handsome man, who embodied gracefulness even in his gait. Julius, who had made his way over to him, grinned at Subaru all of a sudden.

Julius:『If I may add something, I too share the same opinion as Miss Meili. Thought mayonnaise itself isn’t that bad, its first impression diminishes when you put it on everything. You have to be careful with it, you know.』

Subaru:「You’re such a p.r.i.c.kly, noisy guy. What was happening now was an issue between me and Meili. It would have been nice if you didn’t come b.u.t.ting in.」

Julius:『I guess in my role as one of the members here, it’s my duty to preserve the healthy environment of the group. Ignoring the seed of disagreement would result in it budding and on it blossoming, you will repent and lament it all too much. It’s my duty to give you advice before it becomes that. And with all that, you’re reacting like that?』

Subaru:「You’re a guy who always has a comeback for everything I say, aren’t you!」

Expressing himself in such a roundabout way, Julius poked at each of Subaru’s indiscretions. Feeling like he’d been cornered by his words, Subaru’s voice became rougher.  

And, having heard their exchange, Emilia burst into laughter with a “Hehe”

Subaru:「Emilitan?」

Emilia:『As always, Julius and Subaru are reaaaallly good friends』

Subaru dejectedly dropped his shoulders seeing Emilia’s gaze which looked as if she was looking at something pleasant. Also in the same standpoint, Julius closed one of his eyes whilst brus.h.i.+ng his hand through his fringe.

Just this time did Subaru and Julius’s opinions seem like they saw eye to eye. But, it seemed like there was quite the difference between the way Emilia received that opinion. Since her jewel-like amethyst eyes seemed to view the exchange between Julius and Subaru just now as if it had been an act between two close friends.

Subaru:「Umm, Emilitan. I’m always saying this, but that’s a….」

Emilia:『That’s a?』

That was always a big misunderstanding, no matter what the circ.u.mstances may be. Subaru tried to explain that to Emilia who had inclined her head in doubt――、

Subaru:「That’s a……」

Emilia:『――――』

The words he had tried to continue as his explanation, the start of them halted, and Subaru’s lip stiffened.

Just now, Emilia’s movement, who had inclined her head and had been smiling in front of his eyes, came to a standstill. ――No, it wasn’t just Emilia who came to a standstill.

Around Subaru’s surroundings where everyone had been in the midst of cooking up until now, everyone who had been speaking stopped in their tracks. Everyone became completely stiff. ――It was as if the world’s time had entirely come to a stop awaiting Subaru’s next move.

But, the sound of the wind, the scent of the greenery and the boiling water indicated that it wasn’t so. The world hadn’t come to a stop. ――Only Emilia and the others had. It’s as if Subaru was awaiting for the images to catch up with him, to try and make them reappear.

But, just Emilia and the others had come to a stop――

???「――Master~! Badump, I went to check ahead~!」

Subaru:「――――」

Suddenly, an extraneous presence thrust itself into the silent world which had been at a standstill. It moved in front of Subaru’s eyes, who had been kindling the fire sat atop of a boulder. The figure jumped nimbly, diving towards him with great vigour.  

???:「Here’s to the quick return of Shaula! Master, please praise me and hug me and love me!」

A tall, beautiful woman, with a smile adorning her features, turned towards Subaru and said that. She was someone who exposed her clear white skin, and had long, tied-up brown hair. She showed off her s.e.xy feminine body without any shame―― The woman, Shaula, let a carefree smile float across her face.

Subaru:「――――」

However, Subaru’s reaction to Shaula’s appearance was quite poor. That too should have been expected. She had came barging in just as Emilia was smiling.

Her exuberantly lively leap had scattered Emilia, and she had also erased all the others that had stood still. Subaru frowned at that fact.

Shaula:「Wh-What? WhWhat’s wrong, master? Did I maybe mess up again?」

Subaru:「……No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You didn’t do anything wrong.」

Shaula:「Is that so? Well then, I won’t worry! Ah, besides that, Master I’m glad you’re preparing the meal!  I’m staaaarving~」

For a moment, Shaula’s face had clouded over at seeing Subaru’s facial expression, but as soon as she heard Subaru’s backtracking, she went to over to embrace Subaru, her face with nary a trace of her earlier anxiety.

Even though he felt Shaula’s body pressing against his arms, and her h.e.l.lish softness against his elbow and shoulder, Subaru shook her off with a blunt:「Hey, get off of me.」

Shaula:「Ah! Master’s so mean…..But I won’t be discouraged. Bambambam, by attacking you in this way, I will snipe right for Master’s heart, soul and male instincts.」

Subaru:「Like, it’s as if you’re aiming right in the middle….. Also, don’t go grabbing the arms of people in the middle of cooking. What would you do if I ended up burning my hand?」

Shaula:「If that were to happen, I’d gently lick the affected part! I would lick it and lick it day and night without letting go!」

Subaru:「That wouldn’t stop it from swelling…..」

Shaula insisted, raising both of her arms vigorously. Subaru shrugged his shoulders seeing that att.i.tude from Shaula and gave a feeble laugh. Seeing that, Shaula raised her eyebrows with a:「So, so!」

Shaula:「Did Master laugh just now? Did something amusing happen?」

Subaru:「What’s amusing is you, just you.」

Shaula:「Ehh, is that… a marriage proposal…..?」

Subaru:「How did you come to that conclusion!?」

He didn’t know how the conversation had jumped to that, but Subaru poked Shaula on her forehead (whose cheeks were squirming, dyed in red), putting into his feelings of denial and his objections to it. Receiving that, Shaula groaned,「Oww~」

Shaula:「Wellwell, doesn’t saying “You’re an amusing woman” act like a legal right for a man and woman to fall in love with each other! After saying that, shouldn’t you just be continuing it with “Be my woman”!?」

Subaru:「Really, where did you hear such one-sided information? That pattern seems to have grown old even from where I am from already; you hardly see it anymore……. 」

Maybe it wasn’t seldom whereby male protagonists would handle these first-met events in games targeted towards women, or in Shoujo manga. But, Subaru didn’t know whether that was still in use now.

In any case, referring to Shaula as amusing was not so he could seduce her. But, as far as Subaru was concerned, Shaula’s reaction was――

Subaru:「――The thing you said was unexpected, it was new.」

Shaula:「――――」

Subaru:「That’s why talking with you isn’t… so bad. I have no doubts about that.」

He wouldn’t specifically say that talking to people other than Shaula was painful. But, when Subaru conversed with other people, naturally, it would be often that he would be made aware of his own incompleteness. And that was painful. It didn’t mean that someone was at fault. ――The one at fault was always himself.

Subaru:「The one who’s at fault… is always me. That’s why….」

Shaula:「In other words, this time, it’s a marriage proposal!?」

Subaru:「What the h.e.l.l, no!」

The mood that came with that earnest speech lasted only for a second. Shaula let her discontentment rain at the shouting Subaru. She wiggled her hands and feet and said「Eeh~」

Shaula:「Butbut, in the place where I spent my time in idle grey, it was you that blew a new wind into me. It’s like that. Doesn’t that make it still a legal right within a legal right~?」

Subaru:「Absolutely not. So, where on earth does your biased source of knowledge come from….?」

He had intended to have a relatively serious conversation, but Shaula had completely broken that, and so Subaru abandoned the idea. Absentmindedly slackening his cheeks, Subaru went back to concentrating on his cooking.

Next to Subaru who was cooking by the side of the road, a meal was prepared for the two of them. For the two of Subaru and Shaula―― not for those whom should have been enjoying the conversation, i.e. Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Meili and Julius amongst others.

――Realising that truth once again, Subaru’s chest ached in cruel, forlorn anguish.

Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.

Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.

Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.

Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.