Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 6 Chapter 61 Part33

Arc 6 Table Of Contents:

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***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ***WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*** ********** Translator: TranslationChicken ********** Editor: TranslationChicken ********** ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE j.a.pANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH j.a.pANESE WEB NOVEL SOURCE:  **********

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[Louis: ――Onii-san?]

[Subaru: ――――]

Louis slowly looked up and called to the now standing Subaru.
He had already released his hands from her neck, and Louis, still somewhat confused, sat up from her golden bed of hair and gave him a few perplexed blinks.

[Louis: What happened? Say, can we continue…… continue where we left off now?]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Louis: Can we continue……]

Hearing the word "Continue", Subaru licked his lips with his tongue.
Since he was only here in spirit, it was nothing more than a useless gesture to calm himself.
However, he noticed something from that gesture:

――His mind was incredibly alert, so alert that he surprised even himself.

The confused and panicked maelstrom that had swept him only moments earlier had subsided, as if he was now sailing on a becalmed sea.
And that was why――

[Subaru: There's nothing more to say. I've already grown sick of your twisted explanations]

Subaru could now soberly recognize this girl before his eyes as a being of pure malice, intent on twisting his will and manipulating him for her own ends.

When he pointed this out, Louis shook her head saying [No no no],

[Louis: Calling it twisted…… is really mean, you know. We only did what we could to give Onii-san some advice……]

[Subaru: Don't feed me any more of your beguiling words. You can't shake me anymore. ――The way I am now, I can no longer be shaken]

[Louis: ――――]

Hearing this, Louis narrowed her eyes. She couldn't understand what brought about this sudden transformation. And even Subaru himself didn't quite understand it.
All he knew was that a "Greed" unwilling to let go of anything now fortified Natsuki Subaru.

Subaru had reached a definition of himself.
And it was none other than what that girl, who screamed at him in that moment, wanted him to be.

[Subaru: ――――]

Turning away from Louis, Subaru glanced in that girl's direction.
But the girl who had cast those merciless words at him was no longer there. The instant Subaru stood up and faced forward, she was gone.
But, maybe, that was enough.

This isn't the right place for their reunion, and this isn't the right Subaru.
Or, maybe that's not exactly true. It's just that the one who should reunite with her should be a Subaru who'd restored his memories and retrieved his feelings for her.

“There's no need to distinguish between this Natsuki Subaru and that ‘Natsuki Subaru'.”

[Subaru: Again and again…… she's told me this]

―― "Even without your memories, Subaru is still Subaru", that was what Emilia told him.

His stubborn belief that he was separate, distinct, and different from that other Subaru had burdened him like a cursed chain.

But, why should it?

Now, having confirmed what he must do, it shall instead become his guiding thread of hope.
He would clench it tight and follow it without fail to those people he cherished on the other end.
And so――

[Subaru: Put away your knife and fork, you deadbeat. And you're not gonna get any soup, either]

[Louis: ――――]

Her eyes widened.
Louis Arneb bulged open her eyes in front of Subaru's outstretched finger. And, when she saw the rejection within Subaru's eyes, she lowered her head.

[Louis: Ahh……]

With her face downcast, she expelled a thin sigh.
Infused within that sigh was a vague and indescribable emotion.
She stretched out her back, s.h.i.+vered her shoulders, and pulled in her knees, huddling into a golden hairball on the ground.
Then, she slowly lifted her face――

[Louis: ――Hhhaa, s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t. Only one step, only one step away…]

Her gaze brimmed with loathing as she glared at Subaru, wrenching out her words like a curse.

[Subaru: ――――]

[Louis: Only one step away, hha. It was so close, hha. Why did it have to fail, hha? ――Who turned Onii-san against us!? Huh!?]

Like a condemned soul peering up at Eden from the depths of h.e.l.l, envying the land of the living, her voice was filled with inextinguishable hate, horrific and grotesque.
In that voice, overflowing with malice, Louis continued,

[Louis: One more step, and we would've torn "Nastuki Subaru" from Natsuki Subaru……!]

[Subaru: ……Yeah, what's up with that? Why do you wanna do that?]

[Louis: ――BECAUSE WE CANT EAT THE SAME PERSON TWICE! DUH!?]

[Subaru: ――Gh]

Blasting Subaru's question away, Louis expelled a blood-spitting shriek.
She jumped to her feet and straightened her limbs with her expression completely changed―― leering at Subaru with a b.e.s.t.i.a.l face completely deprived of humanity.

[Louis: It won't work unless you're separated! We've already eaten "Natsuki Subaru" once, so it won't work unless you're a different Natsuki Subaru! We've worked so hard to get it to work…… and now it's all gone to waste! It's funny isn't it!]

[Subaru: ……It's not that funny. I don't think anything you said was funny]

[Louis: No? Isn't it!? But, Onii-san also hates us, right? It's fun to see someone you hate suffer, right? It must feel nice, right? Only Onii-san…… only you could fill us now that we've grown tired of eating…… ONLY YOU COULD SATE OUR HUNGER!]

Facing Louis' bloodshot eyes, Subaru muttered "Sate?" under his breath.
If he'd understood her correctly, then she was supposed to be the embodiment of Gluttony. Why was she now talking about Satiety?
In front of the confused Subaru, Louis roared into the white sky, [First of all!],

[Louis: Both Ley of "Gourmet"! And Roy of "Bizarre Eating"! Know absolutely nothing! Those idiots just gobble up one thing after another and can't even tell the G.o.dd.a.m.n difference…… while we're the one stuck in here with no options to choose from! Those s.h.i.+tty siblings, gotta be joking!]

Clutching her own golden hair, Louis' body convulsed as she sent spit flying.
Subaru couldn't understand what she was saying at all. The "Ley" and "Roy" she'd mentioned, were those somebody's names?
But, based on what he'd learned about Gluttony and memories――

[Subaru: Is it safe to say that you have some…… friends who also like to eat people's memories and names? Basically, you guys go around stealing them, and eating them, that sort of thing right?]

Subaru would be an example of someone whose memories were eaten and forgot who he was.
Julius would be an example of someone whose name was eaten and was forgotten by everyone around him.
And Rem would be someone whose name and memories were both eaten and fell into her endless slumber, forgotten by all the world.
All of these were the crimes of Louis of Gluttony and her companions――

[Subaru: Why are you doing this? What is your goal?]

[Louis: ――To be happy, of course]

[Subaru: ――――]

Hearing that spontaneous answer, Subaru fell breathless.
Without looking at his reaction, Louis rattled her teeth as if descending into a mental breakdown,

[Louis: To be happy. What other goals can there be? Isn't the goal of living to be happy? Or do you deem our loathsome-selves to be twisted even in that? No. Wrong. You're wrong. You'd be wrong. Too wrong. Completely wrong. Wrong, we say, wrong! Aaah, our soul hur……ts!]

[Subaru: What does stealing other people's memories have to do with being happy……?]

[Louis: ――Onii-san, don't you ever think that life is unfair?]

[Subaru: Yeah]

[Louis: Aha]

Louis asked Subaru this question, sinking her teeth into the back of her hand, leaving a circle of marks. Seeing Subaru immediately answer with a nod, Louis wryly snickered, [Right?].
Giggling, she pressed her hand, with teeth-marks fresh on its back, to her chest.

[Louis: We think so too. Or rather, life is unfairness itself. We don't choose to be born, we don't choose our parents, we don't choose our surroundings, we don't choose our future, we don't choose any of it. That's just the way it is. As if we're riding on a conveyor belt]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Louis: ――But, what if it's the opposite?]

Louis tilted her head in front of the silent Subaru.

[Louis: What if we can choose our birth? Choose our parents? Choose our surroundings? Choose our future? Choose every step of the way as we like? ……Then anyone would choose a better life, no? Are we wrong?]

[Subaru: That…… may be, but]

What does that have to do with Louis and her companions' crimes? Subaru wondered, aghast.
But, faced with Subaru's doubts, Louis gnashed her teeth,

[Louis: ――That's it]

[Subaru: ……Ah?]

[Louis: If we can choose our birth, choose our parents, choose our surroundings, choose our future, and choose everything every step of the way, anyone would choose a better life. ――And so, we take our time, try our hardest, and keep searching until we find the best life for us]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Louis: Certainly, it's out there somewhere! A life in which we can be ourselves and live with our head held high! A future so bright that we can be happy to live this way! And until we meet that fated life, we'll keep eating, gnawing, devouring, munching, slurping, sucking, GLUTTONOUS DRINKING! GLUTTONOUS EATING!]

With resplendent radiance in her eyes, Louis Arneb proclaimed her beautiful ambition at the top of her lungs.
From the depths of her heart, she believed this to be her only path to happiness, and to her perfect future.

In her own life, Louis could not see any hope or light.
As for why, it was because, in this girl named Louis Arneb's life, everything was wrong from the start. A mistake from the very beginning. ――And that's why she wanted something else entirely.

Her birth, her parents, her surroundings, her future, her talents: she wanted to win all these blessings for herself.
Those were the necessary conditions for elevating her life to its maximum.
And so――

[Subaru: In order to do that, you steal people memories, and eat them……?]

[Louis: Once we find the life of our dreams, we'll a.s.sume its "Name" and "Memories", and live that life with our head held high. Unfortunately, all of them have been rejected so far…… there were some good lives as well, but, we won't be satisfied by just a few good experiences here and there]

Her voice trembling feverishly as she spoke, Louis reached under her patchy clothing and touched her slender body underneath in a seductive gesture utterly unbefitting her age―― or, actually,
If Gluttony's words could be believed, then she must have devoured countless lives by now, and would've already experienced more lifetimes than any average person.

Men, women, children, and elderly, her appet.i.te transcended even races and species, tasting all flavors of existence to the fullest: a Gluttonous life indeed.

Just as Louis herself had said.
She was fed up. She was tired of devouring other people's lives.
After picking out the "Most Delicious Parts" of tens of thousands of lifetimes, there was nothing new anymore and nothing she hadn't seen before. It was all stale and more of the same.

But, while there were parts of Louis's mentality that Subaru could understand, some parts were completely incomprehensible.
And that was――

[Subaru: Why would a picky eater like you go to so much trouble to try to eat me? Is it because you don't wanna waste leftovers, or is this playing up some kinda FOOD FIGHTER fantasy of yours?]

[Louis: Of course it's not such a stupid reason. ――It's because, Onii-san is our destiny]

[Subaru: ――――]

Hearing that seemingly ludicrous reply, Subaru glared at Louis with ire and caution.
But the pa.s.sion within Louis' gaze was not lying. She truly l.u.s.ted after Subaru―― or, more accurately, l.u.s.ted after Subaru's "Life".
As for why, that was because――

[Louis: Young and old, humans of all kinds, races, and stations―― I've had them all. And there is only one thing we haven't tasted. Do you know what that is?]

[Subaru: What. I dunno. Like, how to languish around and feel sorry for yourself?]

[Louis: ――The experience of "Death"]

The instant he heard this, Subaru froze with one eye still squinting.
Seeing this, Louis raised her scrawny arms and clapped to get Subaru's attention.

[Louis: No matter how many people's memories we eat, it's impossible. Only the memory of "Death" forever eludes our reach. I mean, right? Memory, by definition, is the record of life. So memories of death cannot exist. ――That is, except for Onii-san]

From the deepest depth of her heart, Louis envied and l.u.s.ted after Subaru's ability to "Return by Death".
This girl, who had grown tired of all the world, yearned only for this man who could gift her with an instant of fresh experience.

[Louis: Say… say, what does it feel like to die? It must be painful, no? It must be awful, no? It must be terrible, no? It must hurt a lot, no? And the moment it stops hurting? I heard it's a wonderful feeling? Does that make you almost happy to die? Does it get better and better? Does it get easier? Tell me, tell me tell me, tell me tell me tell me!]

[Subaru: ……If you have all my memories until yesterday, shouldn't you already know?]

[Louis: Just the memories, yes! But they're old, they're not REAL! We want to feel the raw sensation. Old and stale ingredients won't satisfy us. What satisfies us must be new, and fresh, and something no one else has ever known!]

"And so", she continued,

[Louis: This is the only special memory that no one else in the world has ever experienced before! Not only that, the ability to rewind whenever you make a mistake is way too amazing! Even if someone attains the life of their dreams, it could all come cras.h.i.+ng down from one little mistake, no? But only Onii-san's life is different! And don't worry, we'll be careful so no one will know!]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Louis: Whether it's Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Meili, Julius, Echidona, Shaula, Patrasche, Petra, Otto, Farfiel, Frederica, Lewes, Roswaal, Clind, Annerose, Felt, Reinhardt, Old Man Rom, Ton Chin Kan, Crusch, Felix, Wilhelm, Ricardo, Mimi, Hetaro, Tivey, Priscilla, Al, Schult, Kiritaka, or Liliana, no one no one no one will know! We'll deceive them all and live happily ever after!]

Louis shot out her arms towards Subaru and sweetly tilted her head.

[Louis: So, please. ――Let us fill our stomach with Onii-san's life, okay?]

She must've pulled out the most adorable and most fitting plea she could find in her endless store of memories.

And this just goes to show that, no matter what kinds of ingredients you have, it'll all go waste if it isn't cooked properly.
“There are no poor ingredients, there are only poor dishes.” Subaru always liked that phrase.
But he never felt it so acutely until now.

Countless and boundless, she had more experience than any normal human could possess.
And yet, Subaru had never seen anything so utterly squandered.

[Subaru: ――I won't say this a third time. Whether it's my suffering, my death, my life, or anything about me, you can't have any of it!]

[Louis: ――――]

[Subaru: Starve to death, moron. If you have to choose one way to die, this is what I suggest: ――Go die the most painful death in this world]

Saying this, Subaru drew his thumb across his neck.
Louis' eyes bulged as she heard this, wavering as she stared into her own hands. Then, she buried her face in her palms, turned up towards the white sky, and wailed: "Aaaaaaaaaa~~ghhh"

[Louis: We failed. Failed. We've failed. It failed. Everything failed. Completely failed. Utterly failed…… Aaaa~gh, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~ghh]

Her clattering knees gave way as Louis collapsed to the ground.
It seems to have hit her hard. And this just proves how serious she was about her feelings towards Subaru. Considering how her efforts earned her only those words in reply, her mental breakdown came as no surprise.
Seeing her like this, even Subaru felt reluctant to torment her any further.

[Subaru: You're not going to get what you want. My name is Natsuki Subaru. It's the name Natsuki Kenichi and Natsuki Naoko gave me. ――I am who I am. Nothing else]

[Louis: Even if you'll get overwritten and disappear?]

[Subaru: Lemme teach you a magic spell. ――"This is this, and that is that"]

Perhaps, the instant "Natsuki Subaru" is restored, this Subaru will disappear. But there's also a chance that he wouldn't. Or maybe there's a way to make sure that he wouldn't.
Perhaps, there's a way for that portion of sunlight could be shared.

[Subaru: After leaving muddy footprints all over other people's hearts, it's not like I'll just pack up and go dry in the sun. That is my answer. Also, get a haircut, stupid]

With that parting shot, Subaru turned his back to Louis.
He had nothing more to fear from this girl clutching her head in despair. His priority now should be finding some way to get out of this place.
He must hurry back to Emilia side, and challenge Reid's "Book of Death" once more.
Or actually, why did Reid's “Book of Death” lead to this place――?

[Louis: ――Aaaa~h, geez. Guess we'll have to leave the rest to Onii-chan and Anii-sama, huh]

[Subaru: ――――]

While Subaru sank into thought, pressing his ear to the floor and giving it a few taps, Louis spilled a breathy sigh behind him.
Hearing this, Subaru turned around, and saw Louis lying in her golden bed of hair with her hands over her face, flapping her legs around.

"Onii-chan, and Anii-sama"
She'd mentioned them several times before. If it's indeed as Subaru imagined, then――

[Subaru: ――Ley, and Roy. "Gourmet" and "Bizarre Eating"?]

[Louis: We can't leave this place. That's why Onii-chan and Anii-sama eat for us and we don't get to choose what to eat. ……So, we made a request]

[Subaru: Request……?]

An ominous feeling accompanied that word as Subaru urged her to continue.
But Louis said nothing more for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, as if fanning the flames of his anxiety, Louis quivered her red lips, and,

[Louis: It isn't just once or twice that Onii-san's visited this place since last night. ――So, Onii-chan and Anii-sama would definitely have noticed. Where Onii-san is]

[Subaru: ――――]

――In other words, those two threats were approaching the Pleiades Watchtower as they speak.

[Louis: They're really interested in Onii-san, you know. It's only natural. ――After all, Onii-san's full of experiences that none of us have experienced before]

[Subaru: Kh, h……! You……!]

[Louis: ――Aaa~w, so unfair]

Aloof to Subaru's shock at her revelation, Louis muttered to herself.
But it wasn't long before Subaru understood the reason for her apparently irrelevant mutter.

[Subaru: Is that, an exit!?]

Behind Subaru, a crack opened in the pure-white s.p.a.ce, revealing a wavering glimpse of what was on the other side.
Surely, this blatantly incongruous rift in s.p.a.ce was the dreamscape's answer to Subaru's wish to return to the Library.

[Subaru: ――――]

[Louis: You can't do it. You can never do it, Onii-san. Even if we wished you could]

The exit was right there, and he needed only to step through it. But there, Subaru suddenly stopped to wonder what he should do with Louis.
After strangling her, and having witnessed her reaction to his new-found resolve, Subaru wondered if maybe she really was as weak as she looked.
If she was, then might it be possible to finish her off here once and for all?
Thinking this, for just an instant, Subaru let slip a look of doubt, and Louis immediately caught it.

[Louis: Even if you're paranoid, even if you're despairing, you still can't kill yourself, or others, or even people you hate. You're a spineless coward. ――Even though we were so gentle with you]

[Subaru: ――. More like you took a bite out of me. Get your story straight, stupid]

Saying this, Subaru flipped his middle finger at Louis' face of contempt.
Without waiting to see Louis' reaction, Subaru prepared to dive into the rift, when a moment of hesitation struck him.

It's not like that he'll miss Louis. In fact, he'd be relieved if never had to see her face again.
It wasn't Louis that Subaru was reluctant to leave behind, but that voice which brought him back to his feet.

That girl, who appeared in that moment to tell Natsuki Subaru to stand again.
That girl, robbed of her name and memories, calling to Subaru from the end of the world.

[Subaru: Don't worry. ――I'll remember my promise]

Surely, Natsuki Subaru will not forget.
And, surely, they'll meet again.

――When that time comes, how nice it would be to be scolded by that voice again, he thought.

[Subaru: ――――]

With renewed ardour, and the desire to return to his friends' side, Subaru leapt into the rift.

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{Louis: Aa~h, aa~h, aa~h, f.u.c.k! Didn't even look back, what kind of man is that, tch!}

{Louis: Unforgivable. I won't let you go. Never, never……tch!}

{Louis: Don't think this is over, Natsuki Subaru……tch!}

{Louis: You, your life, belongs to us――ssghhAAAAA!!}

-=Arc 6 Chapter 61 End=-

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I miss Rem so much ;-;

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Let me know if you see any typos!

I'll do more Arc 6 for sure if Rem makes an appearance again ❤