The Adventurous Simplicissimus being the description of the Life of a Strange vagabond named Melchior Sternfels von Fuchshaim Part 5

When this I heard and saw, I could not help myself, but must lift up both hands to him and cry, "O father, father, father." So he asked what had I done. I answered, I knew not: they had brought me there of a certainty because I had deserted from the forest. But when he learned from the bystanders that they took me for a spy, he begged they would make a stay with me till he had explained my case to the Lord Governor, for that would be of use for my deliverance and for his, and so would hinder the Governor from dealing wrongfully with both of us, since he knew me better than could any man.

_Chap. xxi._: HOW TREACHEROUS DAME FORTUNE CAST ON SIMPLICISSIMUS A FRIENDLY GLANCE

So 'twas allowed him to go to the Governor, and a half-hour thereafter I was fetched out likewise and put in the servitors' room, where were already two tailors, a shoemaker with shoes, a haberdasher with stockings and hats, and another with all manner of apparel, so that I might forthwith be clothed. Then took they off my coat, chains and all, and the hair-s.h.i.+rt, by which the tailors could take their measure aright: next appeared a barber with his lather and his sweet-smelling soaps, but even as he would exercise his art upon me came another order which did grievously terrify me: for it ran, I should put on my old clothes again. Yet 'twas not so ill meant as I feared: for there came presently a painter with all his colours, namely vermilion and cinnabar for my eyelids, indigo and ultramarine for my coral lips, gamboge and ochre and yellow lead for my white teeth, which I was licking for sheer hunger, and lamp-black and burnt umber for my golden hair, white lead for my terrible eyes and every kind of paint for my weather-coloured coat: also had he a whole handful of brushes. This fellow began to gaze upon me, to take a sketch, to lay in a background and to hang his head on one side, the better to compare his work exactly with my figure: now he changed the eyes, now the hair, presently the nostrils; and, in a word, all he had not at first done aright, till at length he had executed a model true to nature; for a model Simplicissimus was. And not till then might the barber whisk his razor over me: who twitched my head this way and that and spent full an hour and a half over my hair: and thereafter trimmed it in the fas.h.i.+on of that day: for I had hair enough and to spare. After that he brought me to a bathroom and cleansed my thin, starved body from more than three or four years'

dirt. And scarce was he ended when they brought me a white s.h.i.+rt, shoes and stockings, together with a ruff or collar, and hat and feather.

Likewise the breeches were finely made and trimmed with gold lace; so all that was wanted was the cloak, and upon that the tailors were at work with all haste. Then came the cook with a strong broth and the maid with a cup of drink: and there sat my lord Simplicissimus like a young count, in the best of tempers. And I ate heartily though I knew not what they would do with me: for as yet I had never heard of the "condemned man's supper," and therefore the partaking of this glorious first meal was to me so pleasant and sweet that I cannot sufficiently express, declare, and boast of it to mankind; yea, hardly do I believe I ever tasted greater pleasure in my life than then. So when the cloak was ready I put it on, and in this new apparel shewed such an awkward figure that it might seem one had dressed up a hedge-stake: for the tailors had been ordered of intent to make the clothes too big for me, in the hope I should presently put more flesh on, which, considering the excellence of my feeding, seemed like to happen. But my forest dress, together with the chains and all appurtenances, were conveyed away to the museum, there to be added to other rare objects and antiquities, and my portrait, of life size, was set hard by.

So after his supper, his lords.h.i.+p myself was put to bed in such a bed as I had never seen or heard of in my dad's house or while I dwelt with my hermit: yet did my belly so growl and grumble the whole night through that I could not sleep, perchance for no other reason than that it knew not yet what was good or because it wondered at the delightful new foods which had been given to it: but for me, I lay there quiet until the sweet sun shone bright again (for 'twas cold) and reflected what strange adventures I had pa.s.sed through in a few days, and how G.o.d my Father had so truly helped me and brought me into so goodly an heritage.

_Chap. xxiii._: WHO THE HERMIT WAS BY WHOM SIMPLICISSIMUS WAS CHERISHED

The same morning the Governor's chamberlain commanded me, I should go to the before-mentioned pastor, and there learn what his lords.h.i.+p had said to him in my affair. Likewise he sent an orderly to bring me to him. Then the pastor took me into his library, and there he sat down and bade me also sit down, and says he, "My good Simplicissimus, that same hermit with whom thou didst dwell in the wood was not only the Lord Governor's brother-in-law, but also his staunch supporter in war and his chiefest friend. As it pleased the Governor to tell me, the same from his youth up had never failed either in the bravery of an heroical soldier nor in that G.o.dliness and piety which became the holiest of men: which two virtues it is not usual to find united. Yet his spiritual mind, coupled with adverse circ.u.mstances, so checked the course of his earthly happiness that he rejected his n.o.bility and resigned certain fine estates in Scotland where he was born, and despised such because all worldly affairs now seemed to him vain, foolish, and contemptible. In a word, he hoped to exchange his earthly eminence for a better glory to come, for his n.o.ble spirit had a disgust at all temporal display, and all his thoughts and desires were set on that poor miserable life wherein thou didst find him in the forest and wherein thou didst bear him company till his death." "And in my opinion," said the pastor, "he had been seduced thereto by his reading of many popish books concerning the lives of the ancient eremites. Yet will I not conceal from thee how he came into the Spessart, and, in accord with his wish, into such a miserable hermit's life, that thou mayest hereafter be able to tell others thereof: for the second night after that b.l.o.o.d.y battle of Hochst was lost, he came alone and unattended to my parsonage-house, even as I, my wife, and children were fallen asleep, and that towards morning, for because of the noise all over the country which both pursuers and pursued are wont to make in such cases, we had been awake all the night before and half of this present one. At first he knocked gently, and then sharply enough, till he wakened me and my sleep-drunken folk: and when I at his request, and after short exchange of words, which was on both sides full cautious, had opened the door, I saw the cavalier dismount from his mettlesome steed. His costly clothing was as thickly sprinkled with the blood of his enemies as it was decked with gold and silver; and inasmuch as he still held his drawn sword in his hand, fear and terror came upon me.

Yet when he sheathed his sword and shewed nothing but courtesy I must wonder that so n.o.ble a gentleman should so humbly beg a poor village pastor for shelter. And by reason of his handsome person and his n.o.ble carriage I addressed myself to him as to the Count of Mansfield himself: but said he, he could for this once be not only compared to the Count of Mansfield in respect of ill fortune but even preferred before him. Three things did he lament: first, the loss of his lady, and her near her delivery, and then the loss of his battle; and last of all, that he had not had the luck to die therein, as did other honest soldiers, for the Evangelical cause. Then would I comfort him, but saw that his n.o.ble heart needed no comfort: so I set before him what the house afforded and bade them make for him a soldier's bed of clean straw, for in no other would he lie though much he needed rest. The next morning, the first thing he did was to give me his horse and his money (of which he had with him no mean sum in gold), and did share divers costly rings among my wife, children, and servants. This could I not understand in him, seeing that soldiers be wont far rather to take than to give: and therefore I had doubts whether to receive so great presents, and gave as a pretext that I had not deserved so much from him nor could again repay him: besides, said I, if folk saw such riches, and specially the splendid horse, which could not be hid, in my possession, many would conclude I had robbed or murdered him. But he said I should live without care on that score, for he would protect me from such danger with his own handwriting, yea, and he would desire to carry away out of my parsonage not even his s.h.i.+rt, let alone his clothes: and therewith he opened his design to become a hermit. I fought against that with might and main, for methought such a plan smacked of Popery, reminding him that he could serve the Gospel more with his sword, but in vain: for he argued so long and stoutly with me that at last I gave in and provided him with those books, pictures, and furniture which thou didst find in his hut. Yet would he take nothing in return for all that he had presented to me save only the coverlet of wool, under which he had slept on the straw that night: and out of that he had a coat made. And my wagon chains (those which he always wore) must I exchange with him for a golden one whereon he wore his lady's portrait, so that he kept for himself neither money nor money's worth.

Then my servant led him to the wildest part of the wood, and there helped him to build his hut. And in what manner he there spent his life, and with what help at times I did a.s.sist him, thou knowest as well as I, yea, in part better.

"Now when lately the Battle of Nordlingen was lost and I, as thou knowest, was clean stripped of all and also evilly handled, I fled hither for safety; besides, I had here my chief possessions. And when my ready money was about to fail me, I took three rings and the before-mentioned chain, together with the portrait that I had from the hermit, among which was his signet-ring, and took them to a Jew, to turn them into money. But he, on account of their value and fine workmans.h.i.+p, took them to the Governor to sell, who forthwith knew the arms and portrait, and sent for me and asked where I had gotten such treasures. So I told him the truth and shewed him the hermit's handwriting or deed of gift, and narrated to him all his story; also how he had lived and died in the wood. Such a tale he could not believe, but put me under arrest, till he could better learn the truth; and while he was at work sending out a party to take a survey of the dwelling and to fetch thee hither, here I beheld thee brought to the tower. Now seeing that the Governor hath no longer cause to doubt of my story, and seeing that I can call to witness the place where the hermit dwelt, and likewise thee and other living deponents, and most of all my s.e.xton, which so often admitted thee and him to the church before day, and specially since the letter which he found in thy book of prayer doth afford an excellent testimony not only of the truth, but of the late hermit's holiness: therefore he will shew favour to me and thee for the sake of his dear departed brother-in-law. And now hast thou only to decide what thou wouldest he should do for thee. An thou wilt study, he pays the cost: desirest thou to learn a trade, he will have thee taught one: but if thou wilt stay with him he will hold thee as his own child: for he said if even a dog came to him from his departed brother-in-law he would cherish it." So I answered, 'twas all one to me what the Lord Governor would do with me.

_Chap. xxiii._: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS BECAME A PAGE: AND LIKEWISE, HOW THE HERMIT'S WIFE WAS LOST

Now did the pastor keep me at his lodging till ten of the clock before he would go with me to the Governor, to tell him of my resolve: for so could he be his guest at dinner: for the Governor kept open house: 'tis true Hanau was then blockaded, and with the common folk times were so hard (especially with them that had fled for refuge to the fortress) that some who seemed to themselves to be somewhat, were not ashamed to pick up the frozen turnip-peelings in the streets, which the rich had cast away. And my pastor was so lucky that he got to sit by the Governor at the head of the table, while I waited on them with a plate in my hand as the chamberlain taught me, to which business I was as well fitted as an a.s.s to play chess. Yet my pastor made good with his tongue what the awkwardness of my person failed in. For he said I had been reared in the wilderness, and had never dwelt among men, and therefore must be excused, because I could not yet know how to carry myself: yet the faithfulness I had shewn to the hermit and the hard life I had endured with him were wonderful, and that alone deserved that folk should not only have patience with my awkwardness but should even put me before the finest young n.o.bleman. Furthermore, he related how the hermit had found all his joy in me because, as he often said, I was so like in face to his dear lady, and that he had often marvelled at my steadfastness and unchangeable will to remain with him, as also at many other virtues which he praised in me. Lastly, he could not enough declare with what earnest fervency the hermit had, just before his death, commended me to him (the pastor) and had confessed he loved me as his own child. This tickled my ears so much that methought I had already received satisfaction enough for all I had endured with the hermit.

Then the Governor asked, did not his late brother-in-law know he was commandant of Hanau. "Yea, truly," answered the pastor, "for I told him myself: but he listened as coldly (yet with a joyful face and a gentle smile) as he had never known any Ramsay, so that even now when I think thereupon, I must wonder at this man's resolution and firm purpose, that he could bring his heart to this: not only to renounce the world but even to put out of his mind his best friend, when he had him close at hand."

Then were the Governor's eyes full of tears, who yet had no soft woman's heart but was a brave and heroical soldier; and says he, "Had I known he was yet alive and where he was to be found, I would have had him fetched even against his will, that I might repay his kindnesses: but since Fortune hath denied me that, I will in his place cherish his Simplicissimus." And "Ah!" says he again, "the good cavalier had cause enough to lament his wife, great with child as she was; for in the pursuit she was captured by a party of Imperialist troopers, and that too in the Spessart. Which when I heard, and knew not but that my brother-in-law was slain at Hochst, at once I sent a trumpeter to the enemy to ask for my sister and ransom her: yet got no more thereby than to learn the said party of troopers had been scattered in the Spessart by a few peasants, and that in that fight my sister had again been lost to them, so that to this hour I know not what became of her." This and the like made up the table-talk of the Governor and the pastor regarding my hermit and his lady-wife: which pair were the more pitied because they had enjoyed each other's love but a year. But as to me, I became the Governor's page, and so fine a fellow that the people, specially the peasants when I must announce them to my master, called me the young lord already: though indeed one seldom sees a youngster that hath been a lord, but oftentimes lords that have been youngsters.

_Chap. xxiv._: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS BLAMED THE WORLD AND SAW MANY IDOLS THEREIN

Now at that time I had no precious possession save only a clear conscience and a right pious mind, and that clad and surrounded with the purest innocence and simplicity. Of vice I knew no more than that I had at times heard it spoken of or read of it, and if I saw any man commit such sin then was it to me a fearful and a terrible thing, I being so brought up and reared as to have the presence of G.o.d ever before my eyes and most earnestly to live according to His holy will: and inasmuch as I knew all this, I could not but compare men's ways and works with that same will: and methought I saw naught but vileness.

Lord G.o.d! How did I wonder at the first when I considered the law and the Gospel and the faithful warnings of Christ, and saw, on the contrary part, the deeds of them that gave themselves out to be His disciples and followers! In place of the straightforward dealing which every true Christian should have, I found mere hypocrisy; and besides, such numberless follies among all dwellers in the world that I must needs doubt whether I saw before me Christians or not. For though I could see well that many had a serious knowledge of G.o.d's will: yet could I mark but little serious purpose to fulfil the same. So had I a thousand puzzles and strange thoughts in my mind, and fell into grievous difficulty upon that saying of Christ, which saith, "Judge not, that ye be not judged." Nevertheless there came into my mind the words of St. Paul in the fifth chapter of Galatians, where he saith: "The works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness," and so on: "of the which I tell you before as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of G.o.d." Then I thought: every man doeth all these things openly: wherefore then should I not in this matter conclude from the apostle's word that there shall be few that are saved?

Moreover, pride and greed with their worthy accompaniments, gorging and swilling and loose living, were a daily occupation for them of substance: yet what did seem to me most terrible of all was this shameful thing, that some, and specially soldiers, in whose case vice is not wont to be severely punished, should make of both these things, their own G.o.dlessness and G.o.d's holy will, a mere jest. For example, I heard once an adulterer which after his deed of shame accomplished would treat thereof, and spake these G.o.dless words: "It serves the cowardly cuckold aright," says he, "to get a pair of horns from me: and if I confess the truth, I did the thing more to vex the husband than to please the wife, and so to be revenged on them."

"O pitiful revenge!" says one honest heart that stood by, "by which a man staineth his own conscience and gaineth the shameful name of adulterer and fornicator!"

"What! fornicator!" answered he, with a scornful laughter, "I am no fornicator because I have given this marriage a twist: a fornicator is he that the sixth commandment[5] speaks of, where it forbids that any man get into another's garden and nick the fruit before the owner." How to prove that this was so to be understood, he forthwith explained according to his devil's catechism the seventh commandment, wherein it is said, "Thou shalt not steal." And of such words he used many, so that I sighed within myself and thought, "O G.o.d-blaspheming sinner, thou callest thyself a marriage-twister: and so then G.o.d must be a marriage-breaker, seeing that He doth separate man and wife by death."

And out of mine overflowing zeal and anger I said to him, officer though he was, "Thinkest thou not, thou sinnest more with these G.o.dless words than by thine act of adultery." So he answered me, "Thou rascal, must I give thee a buffet or two?" Yea, and I believe I had received a handsome couple of such if the fellow had not stood in fear of my lord.

So I held my peace, and thereafter I marked it was no rare case for single folk to cast eyes upon wedded folk and wedded folk upon such as were unwedded.

Now while I was yet studying, under my good hermit's care, the way to eternal life, I much wondered why G.o.d had so straitly forbidden idolatry to his people: for I imagined, if any one had ever known the true and eternal G.o.d, he would never again honour and pray to any other, and so in my stupid mind I resolved that this commandment was unnecessary and vain. But ah! Fool as I was, I knew not what I thought I knew: for no sooner was I come into the great world, than I marked how (in spite of this commandment) wellnigh every man had his special idol: yet some had more than the old and new heathen themselves. Some had their G.o.d in their money-bags, upon which they put all their trust and confidence: many a one had his idol at court, and trusted wholly and entirely on him: which idol was but a minion and often even such a pitiable lickspittle as his wors.h.i.+pper himself; for his airy G.o.dhead depended only on the April weather of a prince's smile: others found their idol in popularity, and fancied, if they could but attain to that they would themselves be demi-G.o.ds. Yet others had their G.o.ds in their head, namely, those to whom the true G.o.d had granted a sound brain, so that they were able to learn certain arts and sciences: for these forgot the great Giver and looked only to the gift, in the hope that gift would procure them all prosperity. Yea, and there were many whose G.o.d was but their own belly, to which they daily offered sacrifice, as once the heathen did to Bacchus and Ceres, and when that G.o.d shewed himself unkind or when human failings shewed themselves in him, these miserable folk then made a G.o.d of their physician, and sought for their life's prolongation in the apothecary's shop, wherefrom they were more often sped on their way to death. And many fools made G.o.ddesses for themselves out of flattering harlots: these they called by all manner of outlandish names, wors.h.i.+pped them day and night with many thousand sighs, and made songs upon them which contained naught but praise of them, together with a humble prayer they would have mercy upon their folly and become as great fools as were their suitors.

Contrariwise were there women which had made their own beauty their idol. For this, they thought, will give me my livelihood, let G.o.d in heaven say what He will. And this idol was every day, in place of other offerings, adorned and sustained with paint, ointments, waters, powders, and the like daubs.

There too I saw some which held houses luckily situated as their G.o.ds: for they said, so long as they had lived therein had they ever had health and wealth: and many said these had tumbled in through their windows. At this folly I did more especially wonder because I would well perceive the reason why the inhabitants so prospered. I knew one man who for some years could never sleep by reason of his trade in tobacco; for to this he had given up his heart, mind and soul, which should be dedicate to G.o.d alone: and to this idol he sent up night and day a thousand sighs, for 'twas by that he made his way in life. Yet what did happen? The fool died and vanished like his own tobacco-smoke.

Then thought I, O thou miserable man! Had but thy soul's happiness and the honour of the true G.o.d been so dear to thee as thine idol, which stands upon thy shop-sign in the shape of a Brazilian, with a roll of tobacco under his arm and a pipe in his mouth, then am I sure and certain that thou hadst won a n.o.ble crown of honour to wear in the next world.

Another a.s.s had yet more pitiful idols: for when in a great company it was being told by each how he had been fed and sustained during the great famine and scarcity of food, this fellow said in plain German: the snails and frogs had been his G.o.ds: for want of them he must have died of hunger. So I asked him what then had G.o.d Himself been to him, who had provided such insects for his sustenance. The poor creature could answer nothing, and I wondered the more because I had never read that either the old idolatrous Egyptians or the new American savages ever called such vermin their G.o.ds, as did this prater.

I once went with a person of quality into his museum, wherein were fine curiosities: but among all none pleased me better than an "Ecce h.o.m.o"

by reason of its moving portraiture, by which it stirred the spectator at once to sympathy. By it there hung a paper picture painted in China, whereon were Chinese idols sitting in their majesty, and some in shape like devils. So the master of the house asked me which piece in this gallery pleased me most. And when I pointed to the said "Ecce h.o.m.o" he said I was wrong: for the Chinese picture was rarer and therefore of more value: he would not lose it for a dozen such "Ecce h.o.m.os." So said I, "Sir, is your heart like to your speech?" "Surely," said he. "Why then," said I, "your heart's G.o.d is that one whose picture you do confess with your mouth to be of most value." "Fool," says he, "'tis the rarity I esteem." Whereto I replied, "Yet what can be rarer and more worthy of wonder than that G.o.d's Son Himself suffered in the way which this picture doth declare?"

_Chap. xxv._: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS FOUND THE WORLD ALL STRANGE AND THE WORLD FOUND HIM STRANGE LIKEWISE

Even as much as these and yet a greater number of idols were wors.h.i.+pped, so much on the contrary was the majesty of the true G.o.d despised: for as I never saw any desirous to keep His word and command, so I saw contrariwise many that resisted him in all things and excelled even the publicans in wickedness: which publicans were in the days when Christ walked upon earth open sinners. And so saith Christ: "Love your enemies; bless them that curse you. If ye do good only to your brethren, what do ye that the publicans do not?" But I found not only no one that would follow this command of Christ, but every man did the clean opposite. "The more a man hath kindred the more a man is hindered" was the word: and nowhere did I find more envy, hatred, malice, quarrel, and dispute than between brothers, sisters, and other born friends, specially if an inheritance fell to them. Moreover, the handicraftsmen of every place hated one another, so that I could plainly see, and must conclude, that in comparison the open sinners, publicans and tax-gatherers, which by reason of their evil deeds were hated by many, were far better than we Christians nowadays in exercise of brotherly love: seeing that Christ bears testimony to them that at least they did love one another. Then thought I, if we have no reward because we love our enemies, how great must our punishment be if we hate our friends! And where there should be the greatest love and good faith, there I found the worst treachery and the strongest hatred. For many a lord would fleece his true servants and subjects, and some retainers would play the rogue against the best of lords. So too between married folk I marked continual strife: many a tyrant treated his wedded wife worse than his dog, and many a loose baggage held her good husband but for a fool and an a.s.s. So too, many currish lords and masters cheated their industrious servants of their due pay and pinched them both in food and drink: and contrariwise I saw many faithless servitors which by theft or neglect brought their kind masters to ruin.

Tradesfolk and craftsmen did vie with each other in Jewish roguery: exacted usury: sucked the sweat of the poor peasant's brow by all manner of chicanery and over-reaching. On the other hand, there were peasants so G.o.dless that if they were not thoroughly well and cruelly fleeced, they would sneer at other folks or even their lords themselves for their simplicity.

Once did I see a soldier give another a sore buffet; and I conceived he that was smitten would turn the other cheek (for as yet I had been in no quarrel), but there was I wrong, for the insulted one drew on him, and dealt the offender a crack of the crown. So I cried at the top of my voice, "Ah! friend, what dost thou?" "A coward must he be," says he, "that would not avenge himself: devil take me but I will, or I care not to live. What! he must be a knave that would let himself be so fobbed off." And between these two antagonists the quarrel waxed greater, for their backers on both sides, together with the bystanders, and any man moreover that came by chance to the spot, were presently by the ears: and there I heard men swear by G.o.d and their own souls, so lightly, that I could not believe they held those souls for their dearest treasure. But all this was but child's play: for they stayed not at such children's curses but presently 'twas so: "Thunder, lightning, hail: strike me, tear me, devil take me," and the like, and not one thunder or lightning but a hundred thousand, "and s.n.a.t.c.h me away into the air." Yea, and the blessed sacraments for them must have been not seven but a hundred thousand, and there with so many "bloodies,"

"dammes," and "cursemes" that my poor hair stood on end thereat. Then thought I of Christ's command wherein He saith, "Swear not, let your speech be yea yea; and nay nay; for whatsoever is more is evil."

Now all this that I saw and heard I pondered in my heart: and at the last I firmly concluded, these bullies were no Christians at all, and therefore I sought for other company. And worst of all it did terrify me when I heard some such swaggerers boast of their wickedness, sin, shame, and vice. For again and again I heard them so do, yea, day by day; and thus they would say: "'S blood, man, but we were foxed yesterday: three times in the day was I blind drunk and three times did vomit all." "My stars," says another, "how did we torment the rascal peasants!" And "Hundred thousand devils!" says a third, "what sport did we have with the women and maids!" And so on. "I cut him down as if lightning had struck him." "I shot him--shot him so that he shewed the whites of his eyes!" Or again: "I rode him down so cleverly, the devil only could fetch him off," "I put such a stone in his way that he must needs break his neck thereover."

Such and such-like heathen talk filled my ears every day: and more than that, I did hear and see sins done in G.o.d's name, which are much to be grieved for. Such wickedness was specially practised by the soldiers, when they would say, "Now in G.o.d's name let us forth on a foray," viz., to plunder, kidnap, shoot down, cut down, a.s.sault, capture and burn, and all the rest of their horrible works and practices. Just as the usurers ever invoke G.o.d with their hypocritical "In G.o.d's name": and therewithal let their devilish avarice loose to flay and to strip honest folk. Once did I see two rogues hanged, that would break into a house by night to steal, and even as they had placed their ladder one would mount it saying, "In G.o.d's name, there comes the householder": "and in the devil's name" says he also, and therewithal threw him down: where he broke a leg and so was captured, and a few days after strung up together with his comrade. But I, if I saw the like, must speak out, and out would I come with some pa.s.sage of Holy Writ, or in other ways would warn the sinner: and all men therefore held me for a fool. Yea, I was so often laughed out of countenance in return for my good intent that at length I took a disgust at it, and preferred altogether to keep silence, which yet for Christian love I could not keep. I would that all men had been reared with my hermit, believing that then many would look on the world's ways with Simplicissimus' eyes as I then beheld them. I had not the wit to see that if there were only Simplicissimuses in the world then there were not so many vices to behold: meanwhile 'tis certain that a man of the world, as being accustomed to all vices and himself partaker thereof, cannot in the least understand on what a th.o.r.n.y path he and his likes do walk.

_Chap. xxvi._: A NEW AND STRANGE WAY FOR MEN TO WISH ONE ANOTHER LUCK AND TO WELCOME ONE ANOTHER

Having now, as I deemed, reason to doubt whether I were among Christians or not, I went to the pastor and told him all that I had heard and seen, and what my thoughts were: namely, that I held these people for mockers of Christ and His word, and no Christians at all, with the request he would in any case help me out of my dream, that I might know what I should count my fellow men to be. The pastor answered: "Of a surety they be Christians, nor would I counsel thee to call them otherwise." "O G.o.d," said I, "how can that be? for if I point out to one or the other his sin that he committeth against G.o.d, then am I but mocked and laughed at." "Marvel not at that," answered the pastor; "I believe if our first pious Christians, which lived in the time of Christ--yea, if the Apostles themselves should now rise from the grave and come into the world, that they would put the like question, and in the end, like thee, would be accounted of many to be fools: yet that thou hast thus far seen and heard is but an ordinary thing and mere child's play compared with that which elsewhere, secretly and openly, with violence against G.o.d and man, doth happen and is perpetrated in the world. Let not that vex thee! Thou wilt find few Christians such as was the late Master Samuel."[6]

Now even as we spake together, some of the opposite party which had been taken prisoner were led across the market-place, and this broke up our discourse, for we too must go to look on the captives. Here then I was ware of a folly whereof I could never have dreamed, and that was a new fas.h.i.+on of greeting and welcoming one another: for one of our garrison, who also had beforetime served the emperor, knew one of the prisoners: so he goes up to him, gives him his hand, and pressed his for sheer joy and heartiness, and says he: "Devil take thee! art still alive, brother? 'S blood, 'tis surely the devil that brings us together here! Strike me blind, but I believed thou wert long since hanged."

Then answered the other: "Curse me, but is it thee or not? Devil take thee, how camest thou here? I never thought in all my born days I should meet thee again, but thought the devil had fetched thee long ago." And when they parted, one says to the other (in place of "G.o.d be wi' you"). "Gallows' luck! Gallows' luck! to-morrow will we meet again, and be n.o.bly drunk together."

"Is not this a fine pious welcome?" said I to the pastor; "be not these n.o.ble Christian wishes? Have not these men a G.o.dly intent for the coming day? Who could know them for Christians or hearken to them without amazement? If they so talk with one another for Christian love, how will it fare if they do quarrel? Sir Pastor, if these be Christ's flock, and thou their appointed shepherd, I counsel thee to lead them in better pastures." "Yea," answered the pastor, "dear child, 'tis ever so with these G.o.dless soldiers. G.o.d help us! If I said a word, I might as well preach to the deaf; and should gain naught from it but the perilous hatred of these G.o.dless fellows."

At that I wondered, but talked yet awhile with the pastor, and went then to wait upon the Governor; for at times had I leave to view the town and to visit the pastor, for my lord had wind of my simplicity, and thought such would cease if I went about seeing this and hearing that and being taught by others or, as folks say, being broken to harness.