Look Back on Happiness Part 31

She seemed very irritable that evening. Would it interest her to talk about Flaten? A little apprehensively, I ventured:

"But you haven't told me whom Flaten is going to marry."

"She's not pretty at all," she replied suddenly. "What do you want to know for? You don't know her."

"I suppose Flaten will be entering his father's firm now?" I persisted.

"Oh, d.a.m.n Flaten! You seem to care about him a lot more than I do! Flaten, Flaten, Flaten--how should I know if he's going to enter his father's firm!"

"I only thought once he's married--"

"But she's got money, too. No, I don't think he's going into his father's firm. He said once he wanted to edit a paper. Well, what's so funny about that?"

"I'm not laughing."

"Yes, you were. Anyhow, Flaten wants to edit a paper. And since Lind publishes a kennel journal, Flaten wants to publish a human journal, he says."

"A human journal?"

"Yes. And you ought to subscribe to it," she added suddenly, almost throwing the words into my face.

She was now in a state of excitement the cause of which I did not understand, so I remained silent, merely replying, "Ought I? Yes, perhaps I ought." Then she began to cry.

"Dear child, don't cry. I shan't torment you any more."

"You're not tormenting me."

"Yes, by talking nonsense; I don't seem to strike the right note."

"Yes, go on talking--that isn't it--I don't know--"

What could I say to her? But since there is, after all, nothing so interesting as a question about oneself, I said:

"You're nervous about something, but it will pa.s.s. Perhaps--well, not at once, of course--but perhaps it has hurt you that--well, that he's going his own way now. But remember--"

"You're wrong," she said, shaking her head. "That doesn't really mean anything to me; I was just slightly attracted to him."

"But you said he was the only one!"

"Oh--you know, you think that sort of thing sometimes. Of course I've been in love with other people, too; I can't deny that. Flaten was very nice, and took me out driving sometimes, or to a dance or something like that.

And of course I was proud of his paying attention to me in spite of my having lost my post. I think I could have got a job in his father's shop but--anyhow, I'm looking for a job now."

"Are you? I hope you'll find a good one."

"That's just the point. But I'm not getting any job at all. That is, I shall in the end, of course, but--well, for instance, in old Flaten's shop--I shouldn't fit in there."

"Not very good pay either, I expect?"

"I'm sure it's not. And then--I don't know; I feel I know too much for it.

That wretched academic training of mine does nothing but harm. Oh, well, let's not talk any more about me. It must be late; I'd better go."

I saw her to her door, said good night, and went home. I thought about her ceaselessly. It was wintry weather, with raw streets and an invisible sky.

No, really, she's not suited for marriage. No man is served with a wife who is nothing but a student. Why has no one in the country noticed what the young women are coming to! Miss Torsen's tale of the wild party proved how accustomed she was to sitting and listening, and then herself disgorging endless tales. She had done it very well and not omitted much, but she paid attention only to the fun. A grown-up, eternal schoolgirl, one who had studied her life away.

When I reached my own door, Miss Torsen arrived there at the same time; she had been close at my heels all the way. I guessed this from the fact that she was not in the least breathless as she spoke.

"I forgot to ask you to forgive me," she said.

"My dear girl--?"

"Oh, for saying what I did. You mustn't subscribe. I'm so sorry about that. Please be kind and forgive me."

She took my hand and shook it.

In my amazement I stammered:

"It was really a very witty remark: a human journal--ha, ha! Now don't stand there and get cold; put your gloves on again. Are you walking back?"

"Yes. Good night. Forgive me for the whole evening."

"Let me take you home; why not stay a few minutes--"

"No, thank you."

She pressed my hand firmly and left me.

I suppose she wanted to spare my aging legs, d.a.m.n them! Nevertheless I stole after her to see that she got home safely.

It happened that Josephine came to the town--Josephine, that spirit of labor from the Tore Peak farm. I saw her, too, for she came to pay me a visit. She had looked up my address, and I joked with her again and called her Josefriendly.

How was everybody at Tore Peak? Josephine had good news about all of them, but she shook her head over Paul. Not that he drank much now; but he did little of anything else either, and had definitely lost interest in his work. He wanted to sell the farm. He wanted to try carting and delivery by horse cart in Stordalen. I asked if he had any prospective purchaser. Yes; Einar, one of the cotters, had had rather an eye on the farm. It all depended on Manufacturer Brede, who had put so much money into it.

I remembered her father, the old man from another world, the man with mittens, who had to be spoon-fed on porridge because he was ninety, who smelled like an unburied corpse. I remembered him and asked Josephine:

"Well, I expect your old father is dead by now?"

"No, praise be," she replied. "Father is better than we dared hope. We must be thankful he's still on his feet."

I took Josephine to the cinema and the circus, and she thought it all quite delightful. But she was shocked at the behavior of the ladies who rode with so little clothing on. She wanted to go to one of the great churches, too, and found her way there alone. For several days she was in the town and did a good deal of shopping. I never once saw her dejected or brooding about anything, and at length she said good-bye, because she was going back next day.

Oh, so she was going home?

Yes, she had done what she had come to do. She had also been to see Miss Torsen and got the money for the actor, because of course he had never sent it.

"Poor Miss Torsen! She was furious with him for not sending it, and turned quite red and ashamed, too. She didn't seem to find it very easy either, because she asked me to wait till next day, but she gave it to me then."