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Paul Kelver Part 60

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"They've got their living to earn," retorted Uncle Gutton.

I agreed with Uncle Gutton that life could not be wasted in vain regret.

"As for the rest," admitted Uncle Gutton, handsomely, "I was wrong.

You've turned out better than I expected you would."

I thanked him for his improved opinion, and as we entered the restaurant we shook hands.



Minikin we found there waiting for us. He explained that having been able to obtain only limited leave of absence from business, he had concluded the time would be better employed at the restaurant than at the church. Others were there also with whom I was unacquainted, young sparks, admirers, I presume, of the Lady 'Ortensia in her professional capacity, fellow-clerks of Mr. Clapper, who was something in the City.

Altogether we must have numbered a score.

Breakfast was laid in a large room on the first floor. The wedding presents stood displayed upon a side-table. My own, with my card attached, had not been seen by Mrs. Clapper till that moment. She and her mother lingered, examining it.

"Real silver!" I heard the maternal Sellars whisper, "Must have paid a ten pound note for it."

"I hope you'll find it useful," I said.

The maternal Sellars, drifting away, joined the others gathered together at the opposite end of the room.

"I suppose you think I set my cap at you merely because you were a gentleman," said the Lady 'Ortensia.

"Don't let's talk about it," I answered. "We were both foolish."

"I don't want you to think it was merely that," continued the Lady 'Ortensia. "I did like you. And I wouldn't have disgraced you--at least, I'd have tried not to. We women are quick to learn. You never gave me time."

"Believe me, things are much better as they are," I said.

"I suppose so," she answered. "I was a fool." She glanced round; we still had the corner to ourselves. "I told a rare pack of lies," she said; "I didn't seem able to help it; I was feeling sore all over. But I have always been ashamed of myself. I'll tell them the truth, if you like."

I thought I saw a way of making her mind easy. "My dear girl," I said, "you have taken the blame upon yourself, and let me go scot-free. It was generous of you."

"You mean that?" she asked.

"The truth," I answered, "would s.h.i.+ft all the shame on to me. It was I who broke my word, acted shabbily from beginning to end."

"I hadn't looked at it in that light," she replied. "Very well, I'll hold my tongue."

My place at breakfast was to the left of the maternal Sellars, the Signora next to me, and the O'Kelly opposite. Uncle Gutton faced the bride and bridegroom. The disillusioned Joseph was hidden from me by flowers, so that his voice, raised from time to time, fell upon my ears, embellished with the mysterious significance of the unseen oracle.

For the first quarter of an hour or so the meal proceeded almost in silence. The maternal Sellars when not engaged in whispered argument with the perspiring waiter, was furtively occupied in working sums upon the table-cloth by aid of a blunt pencil. The Signora, strangely unlike her usual self, was not in talkative mood.

"It was so kind of them to invite me," said the Signora, speaking low.

"But I feel I ought not to have come.

"Why not?" I asked

"I'm not fit to be here," murmured the Signora in a broken voice. "What right have I at wedding breakfasts? Of course, for dear Willie it is different. He has been married."

The O'Kelly, who never when the Signora was present seemed to care much for conversation in which she was unable to partic.i.p.ate, took advantage of his neighbour's being somewhat deaf to lapse into abstraction. Jarman essayed a few witticisms of a general character, of which n.o.body took any notice. The professional admirers of the Lady 'Ortensia, seated together at a corner of the table, appeared to be enjoying a small joke among themselves. Occasionally, one or another of them would laugh nervously. But for the most part the only sounds to be heard were the clatter of the knives and forks, the energetic shuffling of the waiter, and a curious hissing noise as of escaping gas, caused by Uncle Gutton drinking champagne.

With the cutting, or, rather, the smas.h.i.+ng into a hundred fragments, of the wedding cake--a work that taxed the united strength of bride and bridegroom to the utmost--the atmosphere lost something of its sombreness. The company, warmed by food, displaying indications of being nearly done, commenced to simmer. The maternal Sellars, putting away with her blunt pencil considerations of material nature, embraced the table with a smile.

"But it is a sad thing," sighed the maternal Sellars the next moment, with a shake of her huge head, "when your daughter marries, and goes away and leaves you."

"d.a.m.ned sight sadder," commented Uncle Gutton, "when she don't go off, but hangs on at home year after year and expects you to keep her."

I credit Uncle Gutton with intending this as an aside for the exclusive benefit of the maternal Sellars; but his voice was not of the timbre that lends itself to secrecy. One of the bridesmaids, a plain, elderly girl, bending over her plate, flushed scarlet. I concluded her to be Miss Gutton.

"It doesn't seem to me," said Aunt Gutton from the other end of the table, "that gentlemen are as keen on marrying nowadays as they used to be."

"Got to know a bit about it, I expect," sounded the small, shrill voice of the unseen Joseph.

"To my thinking," exclaimed a hatchet-faced gentleman, "one of the evils crying most loudly for redress at the present moment is the utterly needless and monstrous expense of legal proceedings." He spoke rapidly and with warmth. "Take divorce. At present, what is it? The rich man's luxury."

Conversation appeared to be drifting in a direction unsuitable to the occasion; but Jarman was fortunately there to seize the helm.

"The plain fact of the matter is," said Jarman, "girls have gone up in value. Time was, so I've heard, when they used to be given away with a useful bit of household linen, maybe a chair or two. Nowadays--well, it's only chaps wallowing in wealth like Clapper there as can afford a really first-cla.s.s article."

Mr. Clapper, not a gentleman in other respects of exceptional brilliancy, possessed one quality that popularity-seekers might have envied him: the ability to explode on the slightest provocation into a laugh instinct with all the characteristics of genuine delight.

"Give and take," observed the maternal Sellars, so soon as Mr. Clapper's roar had died away; "that's what you've got to do when you're married."

"Give a deal more than you bargained for and take what you don't want--that sums it up," came the bitter voice of the unseen.

"Oh, do be quiet, Joe," advised the stout young lady, from which I concluded she had once been the lean young lady. "You talk enough for a man."

"Can't I open my mouth?" demanded the indignant oracle.

"You look less foolish when you keep it shut," returned the stout young lady.

"We'll show them how to get on," observed the Lady 'Ortensia to her bridegroom, with a smile.

Mr. Clapper responded with a gurgle.

"When me and the old girl there fixed things up," said Uncle Gutton, "we didn't talk no nonsense, and we didn't start with no misunderstandings.

'I'm not a duke,' I says--"

"Had she been mistaking you for one?" enquired Minikin.

Mr. Clapper commented, not tactfully, but with appreciative laugh. I feared for a moment lest Uncle Gutton's little eyes should leave his head.

"Not being a natural-born, one-eyed fool," replied Uncle Gutton, glaring at the unabashed Minikin, "she did not. 'I'm not a duke,' I says, and _she_ had sense enough to know as I was talking sarcastic like. 'I'm not offering you a life of luxury and ease. I'm offering you myself, just what you see, and nothing more.'

"She took it?" asked Minikin, who was mopping up his gravy with his bread.

"She accepted me, sir," returned Uncle Gutton, in a voice that would have awed any one but Minikin. "Can you give me any good reason for her not doing so?"

"No need to get mad with me," explained Minikin. "I'm not blaming the poor woman. We all have our moments of despair."

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Paul Kelver Part 60 summary

You're reading Paul Kelver. This manga has been translated by Updating. Author(s): Jerome K. Jerome. Already has 640 views.

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