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The anniversary of Christabel's betrothal came round, St. Luke's Day--a grey October day--with a drizzling West-country rain. She went to church alone, for her aunt was far from well, and Miss Bridgeman stayed at home to keep the invalid company--to read to her and cheer her through the long dull morning. Perhaps they both felt that Christabel would rather be alone on this day. She put on her waterproof coat, took her dog with her, and started upon that wild lonely walk to the church in the hollow of the hills. Randie was a beast of perfect manners, and would lie quietly in the porch all through the service, waiting for his mistress.
She knelt alone just where they two had knelt together. There was the humble altar before which they were to have been married; the rustic shrine of which they had so often spoken as the fittest place for a loving union--fuller of tender meaning than splendid St. George's, with its fine oaken panelling, painted windows, and Hogarthian architecture.
Never at that altar, nor at any other, were they two to kneel. A little year had held all--her hopes and fears--her triumphant love--joy beyond expression--and sadness too deep for tears. She went over the record as she knelt in the familiar pew--her lips moving automatically, repeating the responses--her eyes fixed and tearless.
Then when the service was over she went slowly wandering in and out among the graves, looking at the grey slate tablets, with the names of those whom she had known in life--all at rest now--old people who had suffered long and patiently before they died--a fair young girl who had died of consumption, and whose sufferings had been sharper than those of age--a sailor who had gone out to a s.h.i.+p with a rope one desperate night, and had given his life to save others--all at rest now.
There was no grave being dug to-day. She remembered how, as she and Angus lingered at the gate, the dull sound of the earth thrown from the gravedigger's spade had mixed with the joyous song of the robin perched on the gate. To-day there was neither gravedigger nor robin--only the soft drip, drip of the rain on dock and thistle, fern and briony. She had the churchyard all to herself, the dog following her about meekly--crawling over gra.s.sy mounds, winding in and out among the long wet gra.s.s.
"When I die, if you have the ordering of my funeral, be sure I am buried in Minster Churchyard."
That is what Angus had said to her one summer morning, when they were sitting on the Maidenhead coach--and even West-End London, and a London Park, looked lovely in the clear June light. Little chance now that she would be called upon to choose his resting-place--that her hands would fold his in their last meek att.i.tude of submission to the universal conqueror.
"Perhaps he will spend his life in Italy, where no one will know his wife's history," thought Christabel, always believing, in spite of Major Bree's protest, that her old lover would sooner or later make the one possible atonement for an old sin. n.o.body except the Major had told her how little the lady deserved that such atonement should be made. It was Mrs. Tregonell's theory that a well-brought up young woman should be left in darkest ignorance of the darker problems of life.
Christabel walked across the hill, and down by narrow winding ways into the valley, where the river, swollen and turbid after the late rains, tumbled noisily over rock and root and bent the long reeds upon its margin. She crossed the narrow footbridge, and went slowly through the level fields between two long lines of hills--a gorge through which, in bleak weather, the winds blew fiercely. There was another hill to ascend before she reached the field that led to Pentargon Bay--half a mile or so of high road between steep banks and tall unkempt hedges. How short and easy to climb that hill had seemed to her in Angus Hamleigh's company! Now she walked wearily and slowly under the softly falling rain, wondering where he was, and whether he remembered this day.
She could recall every word that he had spoken, and the memory was full of pain; for in the light of her new knowledge it seemed to her that all he had said about his early doom had been an argument intended to demonstrate to her why he dared not and must not ask her to be his wife--an apology and an explanation as it were--and this apology, this explanation had been made necessary by her own foolishness--by that fatal forgetfulness of self-respect which had allowed her love to reveal itself. And yet, surely that look of rapture which had shone in his eyes as he clasped her to his heart, as he accepted the dedication of her young life, those tender tones, and all the love that had come afterwards could not have been entirely falsehood.
"I cannot believe that he was a hypocrite," she said, standing where they two had sat side by side in the sunlight of that lovely day, gazing at the grey sea, smooth as a lake under the low grey sky. "I think he must have loved me--unwillingly, perhaps--but it was true love while it lasted. He gave his first and best love to that other--but he loved me too. If I had dared to believe him--to trust in my power to keep him.
But no; that would have been to confirm him in wrong-doing. It was his duty to marry the girl he wronged."
The thought that her sacrifice had been made to principle rather than to feeling sustained her in this hour as nothing else could have done. If she could only know where he was, and how he fared, and what he meant to do with his future life, she could be happier, she thought.
Luncheon was over when Christabel went back to Mount Royal; but as Mrs.
Tregonell was too ill to take anything beyond a cup of beef-tea in her own room this fact was of no consequence. The mistress of Mount Royal had been declining visibly since her return to Cornwall; Mr. Treherne, the family doctor, told Christabel there was no cause for alarm, but he hinted also that her aunt was not likely to be a long-lived woman.
"I'm afraid she worries herself," he said; "she is too anxious about that scapegrace son of hers."
"Leonard is very cruel," answered Christabel; "he lets weeks and even months go by without writing, and that makes his poor mother miserable.
She is perpetually worrying herself about imaginary evils--storm and s.h.i.+pwreck, runaway horses, explosions on steamboats."
"If she would but remember a vulgar adage, that 'Nought is never in danger,'" muttered the doctor, with whom Leonard had been no favourite.
"And then she has frightful dreams about him," said Christabel.
"My dear Miss Courtenay, I know all about it," answered Mr. Treherne; "your dear aunt is just in that comfortable position of life in which a woman must worry herself about something or other. 'Man was born to trouble,' don't you know, my dear? The people who haven't real cares are constrained to invent sham ones. Look at King Solomon--did you ever read any book that breathes such intense melancholy in every line as that little work of his called Ecclesiastes. Solomon was living in the lap of luxury when he wrote that little book, and very likely hadn't a trouble in this world. However, imaginary cares can kill as well as the hardest realities, so you must try to keep up your aunt's spirits, and at the same time be sure that she doesn't over-exert herself. She has a weak heart--what we call a tired heart."
"Does that mean heart-disease?" faltered Christabel, with a despairing look.
"Well, my dear, it doesn't mean a healthy heart. It is not organic disease--nothing wrong with the valves--no fear of excruciating pains--but it's a rather risky condition of life, and needs care."
"I will be careful," murmured the girl, with white lips, as the awful shadow of a grief, hardly thought of till this moment, fell darkly across her joyless horizon.
Her aunt, her adopted mother--mother in all sweetest care and love and thoughtful culture--might too soon be taken from her. Then indeed, and then only, could she know what it was to be alone. Keenly, bitterly, she thought how little during the last dismal months she had valued that love--almost as old as her life--and how the loss of a newer love had made the world desolate for her, life without meaning or purpose. She remembered how little more than a year ago--before the coming of Angus Hamleigh--her aunt and she had been all the world to each other, that tender mother-love all sufficing to fill her life with interest and delight.
In the face of this new fear that sacred love resumed its old place in her mind. Not for an hour, not for a moment of the days to come, should her care or her affection slacken. Not for a moment should the image of him whom she had loved and renounced come between her and her duty to her aunt.
CHAPTER IV.
"LOVE WILL HAVE HIS DAY."
From this time Christabel brightened and grew more like her old self.
Mrs. Tregonell told herself that the sharp sorrow was gradually wearing itself out. No girl with such happy surroundings as Christabel's could go on being unhappy for ever. Her own spirits improved with Christabel's increasing brightness, and the old house began to lose its dismal air.
Until now the widow's conscience had been ill at ease--she had been perpetually arguing with herself that she had done right--trying to stifle doubts that continually renewed themselves. But now she told herself that the time of sorrow was past, and that her wisdom would be justified by its fruits. She had no suspicion that her niece was striving of set purpose to be cheerful--that these smiles and this bright girlish talk were the result of painful effort, duty triumphing over sorrow.
Mount Royal that winter seemed one of the brightest, most hospitable houses in the neighbourhood. There were no parties; Mrs. Tregonell's delicate health was a reason against that. But there was generally some one staying in the house--some nice girl, whose vivacious talk and whose new music helped to beguile the mother from sad thoughts about her absent son--from wearying doubts as to the fulfilment of her plans for the future. There were people coming and going; old friends driving twenty miles to luncheon, and sometimes persuaded to stay to dinner; nearer neighbours walking three miles or so to afternoon tea. The cheery rector of Trevalga and his family, friends of twenty years' standing, were frequent guests. Mrs. Tregonell was not allowed to excite herself, but she was never allowed to be dull. Christabel and Jessie watched her with unwavering attention--antic.i.p.ating every wish, preventing every fatigue. A weak and tired heart might hold out for a long time under such tender treatment.
But early in March there came an unexpected trial, in the shape of a sudden and great joy. Leonard, who had never learnt the rudiments of forethought and consideration for others, drove up to the house one afternoon in a hired chaise from Launceston, just as twilight was creeping over the hills, and dashed unannounced into the room where his mother and the two girls were sitting at tea.
"Who is this?" gasped Mrs. Tregonell, starting up from her low easy chair, as the tall broad-shouldered man, bearded, bronzed, clad in a thick grey coat and big white m.u.f.fler, stood before her; and then with a shriek she cried, "My son! My son!" and fell upon his breast.
When he placed her in her chair a minute later she was almost fainting, and it was some moments before she recovered speech. Christabel and Jessie thought the shock would have killed her.
"Oh, Leonard! how could you?" murmured Christabel, reproachfully.
"How could I do what?"
"Come home without one word of notice, knowing your mother's delicate health."
"I thought it would be a pleasant surprise for her. Besides I hadn't made up my mind to come straight home till two o'clock to-day. I had half a mind to take a week in town first, before I came to this G.o.d-forsaken hole. You stare at me as if I had no right to be here at all, Belle."
"Leonard, my boy, my boy," faltered the mother, with pale lips, looking up adoringly at the bearded face, so weather-beaten, so hardened and altered from the fresh lines of youth. "If you knew how I have longed for this hour. I have had such fears. You have been in such perilous places--among savages--in all kinds of danger. Often and often I have dreamt that I saw you dead."
"Upon my soul, this is a lively welcome," said Leonard.
"My dearest, I don't want to be dismal," said Mrs. Tregonell, with a faint hysterical laugh. Her heart was beating tumultuously, the hands that clasped her son's were cold and damp. "My soul is full of joy. How changed you are, dear! You look as if you had gone through great hards.h.i.+ps."
"Life in the Rockies isn't all child's play, mother, but we've had a jolly time of it, on the whole. America is a magnificent country. I feel deuced sorry to come home--except for the pleasure of seeing you and Belle. Let's have a look at you, Belle, and see if you are as much changed as I am. Step into the light, young lady."
He drew her into the full broad light of a heaped-up wood and coal fire.
There was very little daylight in the room. The tapestry curtains fell low over the heavily mullioned Tudor windows, and inside the tapestry there was a screen of soft muslin.
"I have not been shooting moose and skunk, or living in a tent," said Christabel, with a forced laugh. She wanted to be amiable to her cousin--wished even to like him, but it went against the grain. She wondered if he had always been as hateful as this. "You can't expect to find much difference in me after three years' vegetation in Cornwall."
"But you've not been vegetating all the time," said Leonard, looking her over as coolly as if she had been a horse. "You have had a season in London. I saw your name in some of the gossiping journals, when I was last at Montreal. You wore a pink gown at Sandown. You were one of the prettiest girls at the Royal Fancy Fair. You wore white and tea roses at the Marlborough House garden party. You have been s.h.i.+ning in high places, Mistress Belle. I hope it has not spoiled you for a country life."
"I love the country better than ever. I can vouch for that."
"And you have grown ever so much handsomer since I saw you last. I can vouch for that," answered her cousin with his free and easy air. "How d'ye do, Miss Bridgeman?" he said, holding out two fingers to his mother's companion, whose presence he had until this moment ignored.
Jessie remembered Thackeray's advice, and gave the squire one finger in return for his two.
"_You're_ not altered," he said, looking at her with a steady stare.
"You're the hard-wearing sort, warranted fast colour."