Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas Part 21

[_Throws her arms round him._

DR. HERDAL.

What the deuce! Miss w.a.n.gel, you _mustn't_. I'm a married man! There's my wife!

[MRS. HERDAL _enters_.

HILDA.

As if _that_ mattered--it's only dear, sweet Mrs. Solness. _She_ doesn't mind--_do_ you, dear Mrs. Solness?

MRS. HERDAL.

It does not seem to be of much _use_ minding, Miss w.a.n.gel. I presume you have come to stay?

HILDA.

[_In amused surprise._] Why, of course--what else should I come for? I _always_ come to stay, until--h'm!

[_Nods slowly, and sits down at table._

DR. HERDAL.

[_Involuntarily._] She's drinking my punch! If she thinks I'm going to stand this sort of thing, she's mistaken. I'll soon show her a pill-doctor is a very different kind of person from a mere Master Builder!

[HILDA _finishes the punch with an indefinable expression in her eyes, and_ Dr. HERDAL _looks on gloomily as the Curtain falls_.

* * * * *

ACT SECOND

Dr. HERDAL'S _drawing-room and dispensary, as before. It is early in the day._ Dr. HERDAL _sits by the little table, taking his own temperature with a clinical thermometer. By the door stands the_ NEW BOOK-KEEPER; _he wears blue spectacles and a discoloured white tie, and seems slightly nervous_.

DR. HERDAL.

Well, now you understand what is necessary. My late book-keeper, Miss Blakdraf, used to keep my accounts very cleverly--she charged every visit twice over.

THE NEW BOOK-KEEPER.

I am familiar with book-keeping by double entry. I was once employed at a bank.

DR. HERDAL.

I am discharging my a.s.sistant, too; he was always trying to push me out with his pills. Perhaps you will be able to dispense?

THE NEW BOOK-KEEPER.

[_Modestly._] With an additional salary, I should be able to do that too.

DR. HERDAL.

Capital! You _shall_ dispense with an additional salary. Go into the dispensary, and see what you can make of it. You may mistake a few drugs at first--but everything must have a beginning.

[_As the_ NEW BOOK-KEEPER _retires_, MRS. HERDAL _enters in a hat and cloak with a watering-pot, noiselessly_.

MRS. HERDAL.

Miss w.a.n.gel got up early, before breakfast, and went for a walk. She is so wonderfully vivacious!

DR. HERDAL.

So I should say. But tell me, Aline, is she _really_ going to stay with us here?

[_Nervously._

MRS. HERDAL.

[_Looks at him._] So she tells me. And, as she has brought nothing with her except a tooth-brush and a powder-puff, I am going into the town to get her a few articles. We _must_ make her feel at home.

DR. HERDAL.

[_Breaking out._] I _will_ make her not only _feel_ but _be_ at home, wherever that is, this very day! I will _not_ have a perambulating Allegory without a portmanteau here on an indefinite visit. I say, she shall go--do you hear, Aline? Miss w.a.n.gel will go!

[_Raps with his fist on table._

MRS. HERDAL.

[_Quietly._] If you say so, Haustus, no doubt she will _have_ to go. But you must tell her so yourself.

[_Puts the watering pot on the console table, and goes out, as_ HILDA _enters, sparkling with pleasure._

HILDA.

[_Goes up straight to him._] Good morning, Dr. Herdal. I have just seen a pig killed. It was _ripping_--I mean, gloriously thrilling! And your wife has taken a tremendous fancy to me. Fancy _that_!

DR. HERDAL.

[_Gloomily._] It _is_ eccentric certainly. But my poor dear wife was always a little----

HILDA.

[_Nods her head slowly several times._] So _you_ have noticed that too?

I have had a long talk with her. She can't get over your discharging Mr.

Kalomel--he is the only man who ever _really_ understood her.

DR. HERDAL.

If I could only pay her off a little bit of the huge, immeasurable debt I owe her--but I can't!