The Flower Girl of The Chateau d'Eau Volume Ii Part 14

I can't show myself in this condition."

"Well then, don't show yourself, my friend, keep out of sight. At all events, it will be dark when you leave here, and you'll only need to b.u.t.ton your coat military fas.h.i.+on; that will give you the air of a hero, it will change you completely."

"But I am all wet, I am----"

"Nonsense! take a napkin and wipe yourself, and above all things don't be sulky; we came here to enjoy ourselves, and you still have to learn thirty-one ways of drinking champagne."

Saint-Arthur made no reply; he stuffed three napkins into his bosom and began to eat again.

"Deuce take it! my dear man," said Jericourt, drinking his wine slowly, "that is what comes of trying to learn original things in order to make yourself agreeable in society; you don't always succeed."

"In fact, there are some people who never succeed," observed Roncherolle.

"I request a suspension of the lessons in drinking champagne," said Alfred; "I must dry myself before attempting anything else."

"We consent," said Zizi, "on condition that it is not to interfere with our drinking."

"It seems to me that you are doing very well," said Jericourt; "you will be rather gay in your play to-night!"

"So much the better! The play lacks gayety, and I shall do well to impart a little to it."

"I came near acting once," said the host, still sponging himself. "Do you remember, Jericourt, that place in the country you took me to some weeks ago--at Nogent-sur-Marne?"

"Yes, it was very amusing."

"There was one thing that I didn't call amusing, and that was being obliged to escort that lady back to Paris--an ex-pretty woman."

"Why were you such a fool as to tell her that we had a coupe waiting?

She instantly caught the ball on the bound and asked us to give her a little room in our carriage."

"Little was hardly the word; that lady may have been thin once, but she isn't now."

"Ah! I never heard of this lady that you brought home!" cried the young actress, with an American glance at her lover. "That has rather a crooked look!"

"Oh! really, my diva, when I tell you that she was on the decline!"

"It seems to me that you too were on the decline--with her."

"However, she was a woman of great distinction, a baroness!"

"Listen to that! monsieur must have baronesses now!"

"The Baronne de--de Grangeville--that's the name."

"De Grangeville?" said Roncherolle, who, on hearing that name, replaced on the table the gla.s.s that he was about to put to his lips. "Did you say that the lady you brought home was the Baronne de Grangeville?"

"Yes, my dear neighbor; do you know her?"

"No--that is to say, her name recalled a person whom I used to know."

Roncherolle had become thoughtful; Zizi tapped him on the knee, saying:

"Well, well, tell us what you're dreaming about, my Knight of the Round Table? Is that baroness's name going to spoil your spirits? I don't propose to have that! Don't let me hear any more of your great ladies; I call for a third way of drinking champagne."

"Here! present!" said Roncherolle, resuming his playful air. "See, my dear girl, here is a third way: we put the gla.s.s on the plate like this just now, didn't we? Well, now we are going to stand this second gla.s.s on the first one; that is easy enough; but then we fill the gla.s.s that is on top, and drink the contents by lifting the plate as we did just now, without touching either gla.s.s."

"Oh! that must be terribly hard!"

"Look--here goes."

Roncherolle performed the feat he had described, without spilling a drop of wine. Saint-Arthur was lost in admiration, but Jericourt muttered as he tipped back in his chair:

"I have seen clowns on the boulevard do that."

Roncherolle glared at Jericourt with a half-angry, half-bantering expression, saying: "In truth, monsieur, I was a clown a very long while! And with the permission of the company, I will undertake to make you as flat as this knife blade in a very few moments."

Jericourt did not know what reply to make. Zizi, who, with the tact which all women possess, divined a quarrel on the point of breaking out, made haste to say to Roncherolle:

"Come, my dear gallant, since you are so obliging and are willing to instruct us in your science, show me again what you have just done, and I will try to copy you; I will be your a.s.sistant."

"I shan't try this third way of drinking," said Saint-Arthur, "except in my own room and with unsophisticated water."

"You will do well, my boy, for you would break too many gla.s.ses here."

The young actress did what Roncherolle had just shown them, and did it with equal success.

"Bravo! bravo!" cried the host. "Honor to Zizi! You know three ways already, dear love!"

"And I don't propose to stop at that."

"These ladies succeed in whatever they choose to undertake," said Roncherolle.

Jericourt, with a curl of his lip, muttered:

"Madame Saqui could do no better!"

"Oh! you always look as if you were sneering!" said Zizi; "but you would be hard put to it to do as much. It's easy to criticise, my dear man!"

"This much is certain, that I shall not venture to contend with you."

"Because you realize your inferiority."

"But I am waiting till you come to the thirty-third way. I fancy that you will do some very extraordinary things then!"

"Oh! my boy, we're not such fools. We mean to have some fun, to get a little screwed, but we don't propose to get drunk. We will learn one more way and that will do for to-night; what do you say, my gallant?"

"As you command, _belle dame_."

"Why, do you know that you're a hard-headed party? Champagne doesn't seem to affect you at all. You drink more than we do, and you don't seem to notice it."