"Pip" Part 29

Hanbury, who, like most strong men, was helpless against feminine tears, coughed self-consciously.

"It sounds a good arrangement," he said. "I suppose it is quite impossible for you two to live together? With the hundred and fifty, and what you could make yourself, Pip--"

"How am I going to make it?" inquired Pip.

"What are your prospects?"

"What are my accomplishments? I am just twenty-five; I am sound in wind and limb; and I sometimes take wickets. Can you suggest anything else?"

"Yes; you possess a stout heart and a hard head."

"If by hard you mean thick, I do," agreed Pip dismally.

"Thick heads have their market like everything else. Where are you going to take yours?"

"Where would you suggest? I have my own ideas on the subject, of course, but I should like to hear yours, Ham."

Hanbury looked across at him quizzically.

"My young friend," he said, with a flash of his old pedagogic manner, "long experience of your character warns me that you have determined on some crack-brained scheme, and are now prepared to defend it against all comers. Proceed."

Pip grinned.

"As you like," he said. "But I think a discussion would clear the air.

Here goes! Pipette is appointed chairman. The subject for debate is 'The Choice of a Career for a Young Man without Education, Ability, or Prospects.' Fire away, Ham, and bear in mind that all the learned professions are barred to me."

"I'm not sure of that. How about school-mastering?"

"At a Preparatory?"

"Yes."

"Do you recommend the billet?"

"Frankly--no. Preparatory work is all right provided that you don't mind a berth in which your real work only begins at playtime, and which, unless you can afford ultimately to set up for yourself, offers you an absolutely maximum screw of about two hundred a year."

"I know the sort of thing," said Pip. "You start on about eighty, with board--"

"Which means a poky dust-hole to sleep in, meat-tea, and--"

"'_The post is one we can unreservedly recommend_'--I know."

"'_Write promptly yet carefully,_'" chanted Ham, "'_to the Princ.i.p.al, the Rev. Adolphus Buggins_--'"

"'_Explaining that you have heard of this vacancy through our agency_--'"

"'_Stating your degree and previous experience (if any)_--'"

"'_If a member of the Church of England_--'"

"'_Your willingness to partic.i.p.ate in school games_--'"

"'_If musical_--'"

"'_If possible, a photograph_'--yah!"

"Don't you think we are rather wandering from the point?" inquired the mystified chairwoman.

The rhapsodists ceased their antistrophes and apologised.

"True," said Ham. "Suggestion number one is negatived without a division. Let us try a fresh cast. Have you any influence with business firms?"

"No, thank G.o.d!" said Pip simply. "An office would just kill me. If I had any chance of a post I should of course have to apply; but I haven't, so I needn't."

There was another pause.

"If," said Ham reflectively, "there was any prospect of your sunken capital rising to the surface again, say in two or three years' time, and it was simply a matter of hanging on till then, you could afford to spend the intervening period in a very interesting fas.h.i.+on."

"As how?"

"Go and see the world for yourself, above and below, inside and out.

Knock about and rub shoulders with all sorts of folk. Plunge beneath the surface and see things as they are. Make your way everywhere, and if possible live by the work of your own two hands. You would acquire a knowledge of mankind that few men possess. At the worst you could hang on and make a living somehow until your s.h.i.+p came in--if it were only as a dock-hand or a railway porter. It would be a grand chance, Pip. Most men are so unenterprising. Those at the top never want to see what things are like below, and those below are so afraid of staying there forever that their eyes are constantly turned upwards and they miss a lot. I'd give something to be a vagabond for a year or two."

"What fearful sentiments for a respectable house-master!" said Pipette severely; but Pip's eyes glowed.

"However," continued Hanbury more soberly, "Pip can't afford to waste time observing life in a purely academic way down in the bas.e.m.e.nt. He must start getting upstairs at once."

"Hear, hear!" said the chairwoman.

"As a matter of fact," said Pip, "the scheme I have in my eye rather meets the case, I think."

"What is it?"

"Well, I made a list of all the careers open to me. I'll go through them."

Though his final choice was all they wished to know, his audience settled themselves patiently to listen. They knew it was useless to hurry Pip.

"The things I thought of," continued the orator, "are--cricket-pro, gamekeeper, policeman, emigrant to Canada, and Tommy."

He smiled genially upon his gaping companions. "They are all good open-air jobs," he explained.

Pipette stiffened in her chair.

"But they will none of them do," he added.

Pipette relaxed again.

"This," said Hanbury, "is interesting and human. We must have your reasons for rejecting these n.o.ble callings, _seriatim_. A cricket-pro, for instance?"