Frederique Volume I Part 51

She was in the inner room before I had had time to answer her. Seeing my friend in bed, she started back; but she speedily recovered herself and went on.

"Ah! so you're in bed, are you?" she exclaimed. "But, after all, the doctors visit us when we're in bed; so why shouldn't we do the same by them?"

"Perfectly argued, Madame Philocome. Pray take the trouble to be seated."

Madame Philocome took a chair, after some show of reluctance.

"Are you sick?" she said, twisting her mouth out of shape.

"Mon Dieu! yes, dear Madame Philocome, I am sick. But may I know to what I am indebted for the honor of this visit?"

"Why, I happen to have in my hands a little _broche_ of yours."

"A _broche?_"

"A little note, if you like that better; a hundred and fifty francs.

It's a small matter. You made it to your tailor's order; he paid it to me, and I came to collect it. If, at the same time, you could give me what you owe me for perfumery and essences, you know----"

"Yes, I know that I owe you a trifle. Parbleu! if you have your bill here, we'll settle the whole thing together; I ask nothing better."

"It will be an accommodation to me, especially as you don't come to see us any more, doctor; you've taken your custom away from us; that's all wrong."

"Not at all; but when I moved into another quarter----"

"Here's my bill; it amounts to a hundred and thirty-two francs."

"Very good; a hundred and fifty and a hundred and thirty-two; that makes two hundred and eighty-two in all.--My dear Charles, do me the favor to take that amount from my safe."

Thereupon we performed for Madame Philocome's benefit the scene of the lost key, with an accompaniment of money jingling by the squirrel. But I was pained to see that the perfumer shook her head and smiled in a very equivocal fas.h.i.+on. Finally, when Balloquet essayed to express his regret at the loss of his key, the old coquette interrupted him, saying:

"It seems that you mislay your key very often, monsieur; for I have happened to see two of your creditors, and they have told me why you didn't pay them; it was exactly the same thing as to-day--the same scheme and the same details."

"That may be, madame; in fact, I did lose my key several days ago."

"Then, monsieur, why did you pretend at first that you were ready to pay me?"

Balloquet buried himself under the bedclothes, with a horrible grimace.

I closed the closet door so that we could no longer hear the squirrel, whose efforts thenceforth were of no avail. Madame Philocome settled herself comfortably in her chair, saying:

"I'm very sorry, monsieur, but I want my money. You must have some, judging from that silvery tinkle in your safe. I refuse to be so good-natured as the others you have got rid of by this means. You must pay me; I won't go away until you do."

"Then you'll stay here a long while, madame."

"It's all the same to me, monsieur; I'm in no hurry."

Balloquet angrily rolled himself up in his bedclothes. I seated myself beside the hearth, curious to see how it would end. Madame Philocome stared for a while at the centre-piece on the ceiling, then took a book from the shelves. If she began to read, the situation might be prolonged indefinitely.

After some time, Balloquet broke the silence by groaning as if he were in pain; I rose and went to the bedside.

"My friend," he said, with a wink that I understood, "is my face red in spots?"

"Why, yes--you have some blotches."

"Are the whites of my eyes yellow?"

"Very yellow!"

"The devil! Be kind enough to look at my tongue and tell me if there are any little swellings on it?"

He put out his tongue, and I exclaimed after examining it:

"It's covered with them!"

"d.a.m.nation! Then it must be that; I can't fool myself any longer. I know now what my trouble is. However, I can take care of myself."

"Why, what is your trouble?"

"Pardieu! I am going to have the smallpox, that's all! However, I have been vaccinated!"

Balloquet had not finished speaking, when Madame Philocome threw down her book, sprang abruptly to her feet, and rushed from the room, crying:

"Adieu, doctor! you can pay me later; when you please!"

"But, Madame Philocome, if you would rather wait for my key, I'll send to Rouen."

It was unnecessary to say more; we heard the outer door open and close with a bang, and Madame Philocome scrambling down the stairs. Then Balloquet looked at me and roared with laughter, in which I joined. We were still laughing, I am sure, when the old coquette was a long way from the house.

XXVII

A CONSULTATION

"What do you think of my second method, Rochebrune?"

"Excellent; indeed, I think that it's better than the other, for it requires less preparation."

"That depends. We have creditors who will defy smallpox, yellow fever--aye, the plague itself. But I must get up and liberate my squirrel, and return your ten francs."

"I will take back the ten francs, which would be of no great use to you; but if you would like this five-hundred-franc note, which I put in my pocket with a view to settling with my tailor, why, don't hesitate to say so; I shall be glad to do you a service."

Balloquet forgot that he was in his s.h.i.+rt; he leaped on my neck, crying:

"Would I like it! I should say so! I wouldn't have asked for it, but you offer it! You're a friend indeed! Let me hear anyone say that there are no such things as friends nowadays! Dear old Rochebrune! And you don't know me very well, either."

"I know you well enough to be happy that I am able to oblige you."