The Battle of the Books and other Short Pieces Part 5

Both s.e.xes, armed with guilt and spite, Against Vanessa's power unite; To copy her few nymphs aspired; Her virtues fewer swains admired; So stars, beyond a certain height, Give mortals neither heat nor light.

Yet some of either s.e.x, endowed With gifts superior to the crowd, With virtue, knowledge, taste, and wit, She condescended to admit; With pleasing arts she could reduce Men's talents to their proper use; And with address each genius hold To that wherein it most excelled; Thus making others' wisdom known, Could please them and improve her own.

A modest youth said something new, She placed it in the strongest view.

All humble worth she strove to raise; Would not be praised, yet loved to praise.

The learned met with free approach, Although they came not in a coach.

Some clergy too she would allow, Nor quarreled at their awkward bow.

But this was for Cadenus' sake; A gownman of a different make.

Whom Pallas, once Vanessa's tutor, Had fixed on for her coadjutor.

But Cupid, full of mischief, longs To vindicate his mother's wrongs.

On Pallas all attempts are vain; One way he knows to give her pain; Vows on Vanessa's heart to take Due vengeance, for her patron's sake.

Those early seeds by Venus sown, In spite of Pallas, now were grown; And Cupid hoped they would improve By time, and ripen into love.

The boy made use of all his craft, In vain discharging many a shaft, Pointed at colonels, lords, and beaux; Cadenus warded off the blows, For placing still some book betwixt, The darts were in the cover fixed, Or often blunted and recoiled, On Plutarch's morals struck, were spoiled.

The queen of wisdom could foresee, But not prevent the Fates decree; And human caution tries in vain To break that adamantine chain.

Vanessa, though by Pallas taught, By love invulnerable thought, Searching in books for wisdom's aid, Was, in the very search, betrayed.

Cupid, though all his darts were lost, Yet still resolved to spare no cost; He could not answer to his fame The triumphs of that stubborn dame, A nymph so hard to be subdued, Who neither was coquette nor prude.

I find, says he, she wants a doctor, Both to adore her, and instruct her: I'll give her what she most admires, Among those venerable sires.

Cadenus is a subject fit, Grown old in politics and wit; Caressed by Ministers of State, Of half mankind the dread and hate.

Whate'er vexations love attend, She need no rivals apprehend Her s.e.x, with universal voice, Must laugh at her capricious choice.

Cadenus many things had writ, Vanessa much esteemed his wit, And called for his poetic works!

Meantime the boy in secret lurks.

And while the book was in her hand, The urchin from his private stand Took aim, and shot with all his strength A dart of such prodigious length, It pierced the feeble volume through, And deep transfixed her bosom too.

Some lines, more moving than the rest, Struck to the point that pierced her breast; And, borne directly to the heart, With pains unknown, increased her smart.

Vanessa, not in years a score, Dreams of a gown of forty-four; Imaginary charms can find, In eyes with reading almost blind; Cadenus now no more appears Declined in health, advanced in years.

She fancies music in his tongue, Nor farther looks, but thinks him young.

What mariner is not afraid To venture in a s.h.i.+p decayed?

What planter will attempt to yoke A sapling with a falling oak?

As years increase, she brighter s.h.i.+nes, Cadenus with each day declines, And he must fall a prey to Time, While she continues in her prime.

Cadenus, common forms apart, In every scene had kept his heart; Had sighed and languished, vowed and writ, For pastime, or to show his wit; But time, and books, and State affairs, Had spoiled his fas.h.i.+onable airs, He now could praise, esteem, approve, But understood not what was love.

His conduct might have made him styled A father, and the nymph his child.

That innocent delight he took To see the virgin mind her book, Was but the master's secret joy In school to hear the finest boy.

Her knowledge with her fancy grew, She hourly pressed for something new; Ideas came into her mind So fact, his lessons lagged behind; She reasoned, without plodding long, Nor ever gave her judgment wrong.

But now a sudden change was wrought, She minds no longer what he taught.

Cadenus was amazed to find Such marks of a distracted mind; For though she seemed to listen more To all he spoke, than e'er before.

He found her thoughts would absent range, Yet guessed not whence could spring the change.

And first he modestly conjectures, His pupil might be tired with lectures, Which helped to mortify his pride, Yet gave him not the heart to chide; But in a mild dejected strain, At last he ventured to complain: Said, she should be no longer teased, Might have her freedom when she pleased; Was now convinced he acted wrong, To hide her from the world so long, And in dull studies to engage One of her tender s.e.x and age.

That every nymph with envy owned, How she might s.h.i.+ne in the _Grande-Monde_, And every shepherd was undone, To see her cloistered like a nun.

This was a visionary scheme, He waked, and found it but a dream; A project far above his skill, For Nature must be Nature still.

If she was bolder than became A scholar to a courtly dame, She might excuse a man of letters; Thus tutors often treat their betters, And since his talk offensive grew, He came to take his last adieu.

Vanessa, filled with just disdain, Would still her dignity maintain, Instructed from her early years To scorn the art of female tears.

Had he employed his time so long, To teach her what was right or wrong, Yet could such notions entertain, That all his lectures were in vain?

She owned the wand'ring of her thoughts, But he must answer for her faults.

She well remembered, to her cost, That all his lessons were not lost.

Two maxims she could still produce, And sad experience taught her use; That virtue, pleased by being shown, Knows nothing which it dare not own; Can make us without fear disclose Our inmost secrets to our foes; That common forms were not designed Directors to a n.o.ble mind.

Now, said the nymph, I'll let you see My actions with your rules agree, That I can vulgar forms despise, And have no secrets to disguise.

I knew by what you said and writ, How dangerous things were men of wit; You cautioned me against their charms, But never gave me equal arms; Your lessons found the weakest part, Aimed at the head, but reached the heart.

Cadenus felt within him rise Shame, disappointment, guilt, surprise.

He know not how to reconcile Such language, with her usual style: And yet her words were so expressed, He could not hope she spoke in jest.

His thoughts had wholly been confined To form and cultivate her mind.

He hardly knew, till he was told, Whether the nymph were young or old; Had met her in a public place, Without distinguis.h.i.+ng her face, Much less could his declining age Vanessa's earliest thoughts engage.

And if her youth indifference met, His person must contempt beget, Or grant her pa.s.sion be sincere, How shall his innocence be clear?

Appearances were all so strong, The world must think him in the wrong; Would say he made a treach'rous use.

Of wit, to flatter and seduce; The town would swear he had betrayed, By magic spells, the harmless maid; And every beau would have his jokes, That scholars were like other folks; That when Platonic flights were over, The tutor turned a mortal lover.

So tender of the young and fair; It showed a true paternal care-- Five thousand guineas in her purse; The doctor might have fancied worst,-- Hardly at length he silence broke, And faltered every word he spoke; Interpreting her complaisance, Just as a man sans consequence.

She rallied well, he always knew; Her manner now was something new; And what she spoke was in an air, As serious as a tragic player.

But those who aim at ridicule, Should fix upon some certain rule, Which fairly hints they are in jest, Else he must enter his protest; For let a man be ne'er so wise, He may be caught with sober lies; A science which he never taught, And, to be free, was dearly bought; For, take it in its proper light, 'Tis just what c.o.xcombs call a bite.

But not to dwell on things minute, Vanessa finished the dispute, Brought weighty arguments to prove, That reason was her guide in love.

She thought he had himself described, His doctrines when she fist imbibed; What he had planted now was grown, His virtues she might call her own; As he approves, as he dislikes, Love or contempt her fancy strikes.

Self-love in nature rooted fast, Attends us first, and leaves us last: Why she likes him, admire not at her, She loves herself, and that's the matter.

How was her tutor wont to praise The geniuses of ancient days!

(Those authors he so oft had named For learning, wit, and wisdom famed).

Was struck with love, esteem, and awe, For persons whom he never saw.

Suppose Cadenus flourished then, He must adore such G.o.d-like men.

If one short volume could comprise All that was witty, learned, and wise, How would it be esteemed, and read, Although the writer long were dead?

If such an author were alive, How all would for his friends.h.i.+p strive; And come in crowds to see his face?

And this she takes to be her case.

Cadenus answers every end, The book, the author, and the friend, The utmost her desires will reach, Is but to learn what he can teach; His converse is a system fit Alone to fill up all her wit; While ev'ry pa.s.sion of her mind In him is centred and confined.

Love can with speech inspire a mute, And taught Vanessa to dispute.

This topic, never touched before, Displayed her eloquence the more: Her knowledge, with such pains acquired, By this new pa.s.sion grew inspired.

Through this she made all objects pa.s.s, Which gave a tincture o'er the ma.s.s; As rivers, though they bend and twine, Still to the sea their course incline; Or, as philosophers, who find Some fav'rite system to their mind, In every point to make it fit, Will force all nature to submit.

Cadenus, who could ne'er suspect His lessons would have such effect, Or be so artfully applied, Insensibly came on her side; It was an unforeseen event, Things took a turn he never meant.

Whoe'er excels in what we prize, Appears a hero to our eyes; Each girl, when pleased with what is taught, Will have the teacher in her thought.

When miss delights in her spinnet, A fiddler may a fortune get; A blockhead, with melodious voice In boarding-schools can have his choice; And oft the dancing-master's art Climbs from the toe to touch the heart.

In learning let a nymph delight, The pedant gets a mistress by't.

Cadenus, to his grief and shame, Could scarce oppose Vanessa's flame; But though her arguments were strong, At least could hardly with them wrong.

Howe'er it came, he could not tell, But, sure, she never talked so well.

His pride began to interpose, Preferred before a crowd of beaux, So bright a nymph to come unsought, Such wonder by his merit wrought; 'Tis merit must with her prevail, He never know her judgment fail.

She noted all she ever read, And had a most discerning head.

'Tis an old maxim in the schools, That vanity's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.

So when Cadenus could not hide, He chose to justify his pride; Construing the pa.s.sion she had shown, Much to her praise, more to his own.

Nature in him had merit placed, In her, a most judicious taste.

Love, hitherto a transient guest, Ne'er held possession in his breast; So long attending at the gate, Disdain'd to enter in so late.

Love, why do we one pa.s.sion call?

When 'tis a compound of them all; Where hot and cold, where sharp and sweet, In all their equipages meet; Where pleasures mixed with pains appear, Sorrow with joy, and hope with fear.

Wherein his dignity and age Forbid Cadenus to engage.

But friends.h.i.+p in its greatest height, A constant, rational delight, On virtue's basis fixed to last, When love's allurements long are past; Which gently warms, but cannot burn; He gladly offers in return; His want of pa.s.sion will redeem, With grat.i.tude, respect, esteem; With that devotion we bestow, When G.o.ddesses appear below.