Paul and His Dog Volume Ii Part 34

"Faith! no; this is the first time I ever heard your name; otherwise I should have remembered it, as it's rather uncommon!"

"You surprise me very much. What! Madame Sainte-Suzanne--I beg your pardon; I always think of her by that name."

"There's no harm done."

"Has she forgotten her old friend, her devoted Schtapelmerg?"

"Were you a friend of hers?"

"Ah! monsieur!--a friend--in life and death! Twenty times I have fought for that charming woman!"

"You have fought for her?"

"I did little else at one time, monsieur; if anyone looked at her too closely, if anyone trod on her foot or tore her dress--instantly my sword was unsheathed. Ah! I am not given to jesting! I am very sensitive on the point of honor.--One! two! parry that thrust! pif! spitted!"

"Sapristi!" muttered Chamoureau, while Croque went through the motions of spitting a linden. "Here's a man that I'll never quarrel with! But he seems to be a friend to be relied on."

"Lately, monsieur, after travelling in Bavaria, my native land, and visiting some of my numerous domains----"

As he said this, Croque pushed back under his coat sleeve a bit of ragged s.h.i.+rt which persisted in showing itself.

"I was saying that, on returning from one of my princ.i.p.alities, my first thought, on reaching Paris, was to call upon my n.o.ble and respected friend, Madame Sainte-Suzanne. There I learned that that most gracious woman had recently espoused a young, n.o.ble and fas.h.i.+onable gentleman, blessed with an immense fortune and with amiable qualities in proportion; I was told your name--Monsieur de Belleville!"

Chamoureau, who had appeared at first somewhat surprised to hear this individual in threadbare coat and rusty tile speak of his domains, forgot that seedy costume as soon as the words gentleman, fas.h.i.+onable, and amiable fell upon his ear. He was radiant, his face fairly beamed, and he extended his hand to the pretended baron, exclaiming:

"Monsieur de Schtapel--what's your name----"

"Merg."

"Yes, that's it; I was afraid of p.r.o.nouncing it wrong. My dear baron, as you are my wife's friend, I venture to hope that you will consent to be mine also from this moment. It will be an honor and--the keenest satisfaction to me to offer you my friends.h.i.+p. Shake hands!"

"Ah! _tarteiff_! you are what I call a man! I judged you at the first glance; I said to myself: 'Ten thousand cabbages! there's a man who is worthy to be hitched up with Madame Sainte-Suzanne; they were born for each other!'--And you offer me your friends.h.i.+p! _Sapreman_! here's my hand. Bah! these d.a.m.ned musketeer sleeves are intolerable; they get torn and soiled in an hour; no matter--here's my hand. Now, if you have an enemy, if anyone has the misfortune to look askance at you--why, it no longer concerns you--it's my affair--mine!"

"Oh! really, baron, I should not want you to go so far as that."

"Nonsense! I tell you that it no longer concerns you; that's the way I deal with my real friends! But I beg your pardon--you must realize my impatience; I would be glad to present my respects to Madame de Belleville."

"That is quite natural; we will go to her. She has just come in from her ride, which she takes every morning. Do you know how well she rides?"

"Do I know? why, it was I who held her stirrup at the riding-school of--at the circus, in fact!"

"I shall have the pleasure of taking you to my wife."

"Bless my soul! don't put yourself out. You were going somewhere, and you mustn't change your plans on my account. Madame is at the chateau; that's enough for me; I will go alone."

"No indeed! I shall be very glad to witness the joy which my wife cannot fail to feel when she sees you.--Come, baron, come."

Croque would have preferred that Monsieur de Belleville should not be present at his first interview with his sister, but it was impossible to object. Moreover, after the conversation he had just had with his brother-in-law, he was justified in concluding that it was very easy to make him believe whatever one chose.

Thelenie had just changed her dress and was half reclining on a couch, when her husband entered her apartment, exclaiming from the outer room:

"My dear love, I am bringing someone whom you will be delighted to see, a visitor whom you did not expect, but who will give you great pleasure."

Thelenie did not deign to turn her face toward the door, but contented herself with asking:

"Who is it? what's the matter? whom have you brought?"

"Monsieur de Schtapelmerg."

"Who's he? Schtapelmerg! Where does he come from? I don't know any such person."

"She has forgotten your name, baron."

"When madame hears my voice, I am quite sure that she will recognize me at once and will not ask again who I am."

There was a shrill, strident tone in Croque's voice which, in truth, made it easy to recognize; so that, as soon as he began to speak, Thelenie faced about abruptly, and, after examining him, exclaimed:

"What! is it you?"

"Yes, dear and n.o.ble lady; it is I, the Baron von Schtapelmerg, your old friend, who was always the most sincere and devoted of your servants. I have just had the honor of informing your highly honored husband, Monsieur de Belleville, of that fact, madame, having had the pleasure of meeting him on my way here; and I already entertain for him the most sincere esteem, having, at the first glance, seen that he is endowed with capacities of all sorts."

Croque finished his harangue by bowing low to Monsieur and Madame de Belleville.

Thelenie had much difficulty in refraining from laughing in the faces of her husband and the pretended baron, especially when she saw Chamoureau press Croque's hand warmly, saying:

"Faith, my dear baron, if I suit you, I can say without flattery that you are altogether to my taste, and that my wife could not have an acquaintance who would be more agreeable to me."

"You hear, charming lady; now I am your husband's friend too; and I like to believe that you have kept a little place warm for me in your heart.

_Tarteiff!_"

"Certainly, Monsieur de--I cannot possibly remember your name."

"Schtapelmerg--descended, I venture to say, from one of the most venerable families of Bavaria."

"Yes, yes! I know it. But, my dear baron, allow me to tell you that you are really rather careless in the matter of dress! I know that a man pays little attention to such details when travelling; but upon my word, if I didn't know you as I do, seeing you appear in this garb I should never have detected in you the true aristocrat."

"I deserve the rebuke. Yes, I deserve it. I am dressed like a ragam.u.f.fin, that is true! You see, in the train, while I was dozing, a fellow traveller took my hat, which was quite new, and left me with this one. I didn't notice it till I left the train."

"There's some very clever stealing done on railway trains," said Chamoureau; "I myself, one day--that is to say, one evening--or rather it was just between daylight and dark; but there was a man----"

"I believe that we will postpone your story, monsieur," said Thelenie, interrupting her husband. "But how about the things I gave you to do--have you attended to them?"

"Not yet, my sweet love; I was going out for that purpose, when I met the dear baron in the avenue of lindens. At that moment I was thinking of something very important--how old those magnificent trees probably are."

"It seems to me, monsieur, that you will do better to think of my commissions--while I talk with this old friend, who has many things to tell me, no doubt."

"Oh! yes, _belle dame_; I have to tell you about a lot of people, whom I met on my travels."