Why Marry? Part 16

JUDGE

She's gone to Re-Re-Rio Janeiro--I mean to Santa Barbara--wants a complete change--The Rest Cure. [_To THEODORE apart._] Lie number one.

[_Another silence. LUCY makes tea for HELEN._

HELEN

[_taking the cup_]

Well, go on!

THEODORE

Go on with what?

HELEN

[_stirring tea_]

Your discussion of marriage.

LUCY

How did you know?

HELEN

Oh, it's in the air. Everybody's talking about it nowadays.

[_She sips tea, and the others look conscious._

THEODORE

My dear, marriage is woman's only true career.

HELEN

[_raising her s.h.i.+eld of flippancy_]

So Lucy tells me, Cousin Theodore. But a woman cannot pursue her career, she must be pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly.

JUDGE

Ahem. As we pa.s.sed through the library a while ago, I think I saw your little sister being pursued by her career.

HELEN

Yes, uncle, but Jean is a true woman. I'm only a New Woman.

JUDGE

All the same, you'll be an old woman some day--if you don't watch out.

HELEN

Ah, yes, my life's a failure. I haven't trapped a man into a contract to support me.

LUCY

[_picks up knitting bag and does her best to look like "just an old-fas.h.i.+oned wife"_]

You ought to be ashamed! Making marriage so mercenary. Helen, dear, haven't you New Women any sentiment?

HELEN

Enough sentiment not to make a mercenary marriage, Lucy, dear.

JUDGE

Ahem! And what kind of a marriage do you expect to make?

HELEN

Not any, thank you, uncle.

JUDGE

What! You don't believe in holy matrimony?

HELEN

Only as a last extremity, uncle, like unholy divorce.