A Gamble with Life Part 23

Outwardly there had been no change in his life during the last two or three months. Directly his doctors gave him permission he turned again to his invention, glad of the relief that work afforded. As far as he could judge, he was moving, slowly but surely, to complete success. The thought of failure very rarely crossed his mind.

But while outwardly there was no change, inwardly there was a distinct evolution. He found himself unconsciously viewing life from a different standpoint. It was easy to laugh at the claims of priests and prelates, and to poke fun at musty and worn-out creeds. Easy to riddle with merciless logic the stupendous dogmas of the Churches, and the monumental follies of so-called theologians, but when all that had been done to his complete satisfaction, he was no nearer the solution of the riddle of life.

Moreover, he became painfully conscious of the fact that a philosophy of denials was not sufficient. He wanted something definite and something positive. An iconoclast might be a very useful individual; but when the destructive process had been completed, was there nothing more to be done? Were there no positive blocks of truth with which to erect a temple? There were questions instinctive in the human soul which asked for an answer. Had the broad universe no answer to give? Had faith no place in the eternal and immeasurable scheme.

If science could not prove, if philosophy halted and broke down, was there nothing left? Was religion a thing to be dismissed with a sneer?

Might not faith be as truly a faculty of the human soul as reason?

So all unconsciously he retraced his steps from the barren realm of negation to the region of inquiry. He ceased to be dogmatic. Materialism did not explain everything. Theology, like other sciences, might be empirical, and yet its groundwork and framework might still be truth.

When a man begins to inquire he begins to grow, when he ceases to inquire the winter of decay sets in. Moreover, it is not the province of the human will to determine the direction of growth. It may be upward or outward, in this direction or in that. The mind pursues its way with an unerring instinct as the roots of trees follow the courses of the springs.

Rufus had been reading "Crossing the Bar" for the fiftieth time, and now he sat with the open book on his knees, wondering where he was intellectually and religiously. He refused however, to question himself too closely. He preferred for the present to drift. Some day he might sight land, and find a safe anchorage.

Yet one or two things were becoming daily more clear. One was, that in any perfect scheme a future life was necessary to the completion of this. Another was, that human life, if only because of its relations.h.i.+ps and possibilities, was a more sacred thing than he at one time had been willing to grant. And a third was, that love was not a mere physical or mental affinity. It was something that went farther and struck deeper.

It was a soul relation that remained untouched and independent of time and change.

He had not seen Madeline Grover for considerably more than two months.

No message or whisper had pa.s.sed between them. In the chances of human life he knew that he might never speak to her again. Yet his love remained fixed and unshaken. It was not something that he had put on as an extra garment, and that in the wear and tear of life he might lose again. It was part of himself--woven into the fibre of his being.

Perhaps his love for Madeline, more than anything else, made him think of the problem of immortality. Whittier had said:

Life is ever Lord of Death, And Love can never lose its own.

How well he remembered that afternoon when Madeline read "Snow-Bound" to him, in which these lines occurred. He had never been able to get them out of his mind since. They had followed him like a haunting echo of something long forgotten, had stirred his heart with a thousand vague hopes and dreams.

If Love could never lose its own, Madeline might yet be his. In some far-away region beyond the reach of human vision, beyond the stress and pa.s.sion of earth, beyond the darkness and the doubting, beyond the ravages of time and trouble, they might meet again--the soul finding its mate and life its eternal complement.

Madeline had a habit of marking with a pencil the pa.s.sages in a book she liked, and in one of the volumes she left behind he found these words marked with a double line down the margin:

I sometimes think that heaven will be A green place and an orchard tree, And one sweet Angel known to me.

Could he have put his wildest dreams and longings into words, nothing could have fitted better. It expressed all the heaven he wanted--all the beauty, and all the companions.h.i.+p his soul desired.

He was disturbed in his meditations by a knock on the outer door, and a minute or two later he heard a familiar voice in the pa.s.sage inquiring if he were at home.

He rose to his feet in a moment, and pushed Tennyson into a dark corner out of sight. Then the door of his sitting-room was flung open, and Felix Muller entered unannounced. Rufus greeted him with a look of inquiry in his eyes--an inquiry, however, which he did not attempt to shape into words.

Muller made his way to the fire at once, and spread his hands over the grate. "It's a glorious night," he said, "but cold. The roads are as hard as iron, and the moon makes it almost as light as day."

"Have you driven over?" Rufus inquired.

"Yes, I had to see Farmer Udy at Longridge, and so I thought as I was so near, I would drive a little farther and see you. How have you been getting on this long time?"

"Fairly well on the whole, I think. Of course, my accident upset all my calculations for a while, but at present things are moving steadily and in the right direction."

"That's right, I'm glad to hear it. And when do you think the thing will be properly launched?"

"Well, it is not easy to say positively, but I should give six months as an outside limit."

"You expected at first that the whole thing would be completed in six months."

"That is true, but I had not reckoned on the contingency of a broken leg."

"But apart from your accident you were out of your calculations."

"A little. When you are dependent to so large an extent upon other people, it is impossible to be absolutely sure as to dates."

"Then your six months may run into nine months?"

"Oh, no; six months more gives a wide margin for every contingency."

Muller withdrew from the fire and dropped into an easy-chair that Rufus had pulled round for him.

For a moment or two there was silence, then Muller, diving his hand into his breast-pocket, said in his most casual tone, "You don't mind my having a smoke, do you?"

"My dear fellow, I beg your pardon," Rufus said, hurriedly, "but the truth is I was waiting for supper; won't you have something to eat first? The cold drive ought to have given you an appet.i.te!"

"Well, now that you mention it, I think I do feel a bit peckish."

"You will have to be content with simple fare, but such as I have, etc.," and he went out of the room to hunt up Mrs. Tuke.

Rufus watched his guest narrowly while he ate, and felt sure that he owed this visit not to the proximity of Longridge, but to some other cause that had not yet been revealed.

Conversation flagged during the meal. Muller ate like a man whose thoughts were engaged somewhere else, and on something vastly more important than eating and drinking.

Rufus began to have an uncomfortable feeling that his visit boded no good, and yet he had not the courage to precipitate matters by asking impertinent questions.

As soon as the supper-tray was taken away, Rufus produced a box of cigars, and for a minute or two they blew smoke in silence.

Muller was the first to speak. Looking at his cigar carefully, as if examining the brand, he said in his most casual manner, "I suppose, Sterne, you have never considered the possibility of being forestalled in your invention?"

"Well, no," he said slowly, but with a startled look in his eyes. "I cannot say that I have ever seriously considered such a possibility."

"And yet it is notorious in the realm of discovery and invention, that the same idea has been hit upon by different men in different parts of the world almost at the same time."

"I do not remember that fact being brought clearly to my mind," Rufus said, wondering if someone had forestalled him.

"It is true, nevertheless. I could give you ill.u.s.trations if I had time.

But what is important at the present moment is that a man away up in Westmorland has got ahead of you."

"No!" Rufus said, in a tone of alarm.

"Well, perhaps I ought to have said that he appears to have got his claim in first. I do not understand all the technicalities of the case, but he appears to me to have achieved, or to have achieved very largely, the thing you are aiming at," and he took a newspaper cutting out of his pocket, and pa.s.sed it on to Rufus.

Rufus unfolded the cutting with hands that trembled in spite of himself.

If he had been forestalled then life with him was at an end. The greater part of the thousand pounds was spent or pledged already. Failure meant that he would have now to employ his ingenuity in devising a method of escaping from the world in a way that would not awaken suspicion.