The Ghost Breaker: A Melodramatic Farce in Four Acts Part 18

JARVIS. You give your best yell, and then I'll nail him.

RUSTY. If you don't nail him--he'll nail me!

(_Business_ JARVIS _putting armor on_ RUSTY. _Breastplate, back and legs are put on together; belt fastened around waist first, then legs; next collar; then arms; last helmet; this done during the following dialogue._)

RUSTY. Ma.r.s.e Warren, you must think a heap of Miss Princess to go prowling around in this boogy house in the dark.

JARVIS. What makes you think that?

RUSTY. Ma.r.s.e Warren, I knowed you since you was a baby.

JARVIS. What's that got to do with it?

RUSTY. She 'gin you that jewelry that's hanging round your neck, didn't she? She's kind of crazy about you, too, ain't she?

JARVIS. How do you know?

RUSTY. Aw--I know, all right.

JARVIS. But how do you know?

RUSTY. Waal, I'm goin' to tell you, and then you'll know how I know.

Just before them horses all jumped on me, when I was waitin' for you in the road, I heard a window go up, slap, and there was the Princess a-lookin' at the moon, just like a picture in the moonlight; just a-lookin' at the moon, and she says--she says----

JARVIS. What did she say?

RUSTY. Well, no lady never talks that way at the moon unless she's in love.

JARVIS. What did she say?

RUSTY. She says--looking at the moon, she says, "The world has begun all over again for me." And then she went right on and says, "G.o.d be with you, my American!" I'm the only American around here 'cept you, Ma.r.s.e Warren.

JARVIS. You heard her say that? G.o.d bless you for that, Rusty! (_With helmet in hand._) Here, put your head into this Stetson.

RUSTY. Oh! Oh!

JARVIS. What's the matter?

RUSTY. Full of spider webs.

(JARVIS _puts helmet on again_.)

JARVIS. Gloves--here. How do you feel?

RUSTY. All in. Do I look like a spook?

JARVIS. You're a wonderful sight! (_Pus.h.i.+ng him away._) Now, Rusty, get over here. Where is your sword? (JARVIS _down steps_; RUSTY _sneezes_.) I never heard of a ghost sneezing before.

RUSTY. Ma.r.s.e Warren, I'm catching cold.

JARVIS. (_Up steps to_ RUSTY) Now, Rusty, keep your ears and eyes open.

Don't move a muscle. If any one comes, yell your head off, but don't sneeze.

RUSTY. Ma.r.s.e Warren, I want to go home!

JARVIS. We haven't any home, Rusty.

RUSTY. Ma.r.s.e Warren, I don't ever expect to get out of this boogy house nohow. (_Call is heard off stage_ L.)

JARVIS. Well, Rusty, there is something. (_Faint call heard; very indistinct._) What's that? I'd almost swear that was a call or a groan.

(_Another call_; JARVIS _blows out lantern_.) There it is again. (_Light is thrown on door as by someone carrying lantern. Pause._) Hark! Listen!

There's a light, Rusty. It's coming this way. It's coming, Rusty! It's coming back. Remember the high sign, Rusty, and don't sneeze.

(JARVIS _hides above door_ L. _Enter_ DOLORES _and the_ PRINCESS _and_ MAXIMO _carrying lantern_ D.L., _cautiously coming forward._)

DOLORES. No one here either, your Highness. (_Cross stage_ R.C.)

PRINCESS. (C.) We must go on, Dolores. We must find him before it's too late. Oh, I never will forgive myself for sending him to this dreadful place!

DOLORES. (_Cross to fire_) Look! Here is a fire. They've been in this room. (MAXIMO _comes across at back with lighted lantern to_ R.C.)

PRINCESS. Perhaps they have already been killed.

JARVIS. Your Highness! (L.C.)

PRINCESS. Mr. Warren--Mr. Warren! Thank G.o.d you are still alive!

JARVIS. Your Highness--it's madness for you to come to this place. How did you get here?

PRINCESS. (_Crossing toward him_) Heaven only knows. We have been wandering through this dreadful place for hours, calling to you--trying to find you before it was too late.

JARVIS. Too late? What do you mean?

PRINCESS. My brother is safe, thank G.o.d!

JARVIS. Where is he?

PRINCESS. On his way to get help from the King.

JARVIS. Where has he been?

PRINCESS. Right here in this castle, a prisoner--since the day he entered.

JARVIS. A prisoner?

PRINCESS. Yes, he succeeded in making his escape tonight, and has gone direct to the King for help.

JARVIS. How did you learn this?