Artemis Fowl - The Lost Colony Part 21

He tapped Butler on the shoulder and the bodyguard pulled over into the first s.p.a.ce he could find. It took forever. Taipei morning traffic was thick and slow-moving and spewed smoke like an irritated dragon. Many of the thousands of pedestrians and cyclists had smog masks strapped across their faces.

When the vehicle had stopped, Artemis continued his briefing.

'Taipei 101 is a miracle of modern engineering. The architects took their inspiration from the humble bamboo. But this shape alone would not keep the skysc.r.a.per steady in the event of an earthquake or high winds, so the designers built it on a frame of concrete-filled, steel-boxed super columns, and installed a seven-hundred-tonne steel ball as a ma.s.s damper pendulum to absorb the force of the wind. Ingenious. The pendulum swings instead of the building. It's become quite the tourist attraction. You can even watch it from the observation deck. The owners have covered the damper with fifteen centimetres of solid silver, which has been etched by the famous Taiwanese artist Alexander Chou.'

'Thanks for the fine-art lesson,' interrupted Holly. 'Now how about you let us in on your plan. I want to get this over with and take off this ridiculous tracksuit. It's so s.h.i.+ny, I feel sure I can be picked up on satellite.'

'I don't much like this outfit either,' complained No1, who was dressed in a bonnet and an orange floral muumuu. Orange, he had decided, was definitely not for him.

'Your outfit is the least of your worries,' noted Holly. 'I'm guessing that we're about to hand you over to a bloodthirsty hit man, eh, Artemis?'

'That we are,' confirmed Artemis. 'But only for a few seconds. There will be little or no danger to you. And if my suspicions are correct, it is just possible that we may save Hybras.'

'Go back to me being in danger for a few seconds,' said No1, his thick brow folding in a frown. 'In Hybras, a few seconds can last a very long time.'

'Not here,' said Artemis, in what he hoped was a rea.s.suring tone. 'Here a few seconds a few seconds is how long it will take you to open your hand.' is how long it will take you to open your hand.'

No1 opened his fingers a couple of times experimentally. 'That's still pretty long. Any way to cut it down?'

'Not really. If we do, it means sacrificing Minerva.'

'Well, she did tie me to a chair.' No1 glanced round at the shocked faces. 'What? I'm joking. Of course I'll do it. But no more orange. Please.'

Artemis smiled, but it did not quite reach his eyes. 'Very well, no more orange. Now, the plan. It is in two parts. If the first part doesn't work, then the second is redundant.'

'Redundant,' said No1, almost unconsciously. 'Not needed, superfluous.'

'Exactly. So I'll explain that when necessary.'

'What about the first part?' asked Holly.

'In the first part, we meet a vicious. .h.i.t man and his band of thugs and he will expect us to hand over Number One.'

'So what do we do?'

'We hand over Number One,' said Artemis. He turned to the slightly nervous imp. 'How do you like the plan so far?'

'Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So, I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.'

'Don't worry,' said Artemis. 'It is.'

Taipei 101 The group took a high-speed lift from Taipei 101's cavernous lobby to the observation floor. Holly and No1 had technically been given permission to enter the building by a small plaque over the main door which simply urged visitors to come and go as they pleased. And seeing as she did not feel the urge to throw up in the lift, Holly guessed that the plaque counted as an invitation.

'Tos.h.i.+ba lifts,' said Artemis, reading from a pamphlet he had picked up at information. 'These are the fastest lifts in the world. We are moving at eighteen metres per second, so it shouldn't take much more than half a minute to reach the eighty-ninth floor.'

Artemis consulted his watch when the doors dinged open.

'Hmm. Right on time. Impressive engineering. I may get one of these for the house.'

They stepped out into the observation area, which had a restaurant at the far end. From this lofty vantage point, visitors could walk all the way round the floor and shoot video of the panoramic view. From this height it was even possible to see China across the Taiwan Strait.

For a moment the group forgot their worries and allowed themselves to be awestruck by the grace of this enormous structure. The sky was outside the window and blended almost seamlessly with the sea on the horizon. No1 was especially dumbfounded. He turned in small circles, the muumuu swis.h.i.+ng round his legs.

'Less of the pirouetting, little man,' advised Butler, the first to get his mind back on the job. 'You're showing your legs. And pull that bonnet down over your face.'

No1 obliged, though he was not happy with the bonnet. It was shapeless and saggy, and made his head look like a bag of was.h.i.+ng.

'Good luck, Holly,' said Artemis, into thin air. 'We will meet you on the twenty-third floor.'

'Get this done as quickly as you can,' Holly whispered into his ear. 'I don't have enough magic for a long s.h.i.+eld. I'm barely invisible as it is.'

'Understood,' said Artemis, from the side of his mouth.

The small band walked slowly towards the bar area and took a table below the enormous ma.s.s damper, suspended a metre above the eighty-ninth floor. The seven-hundred-tonne ball was a sight to behold, like an indoor moon, its surface etched with traditional Yuanzhumin drawings.

'This is the legend of Nian,' explained Artemis casually, while Butler scanned the room. 'A ferocious beast that would feed on human flesh each New Year's Eve. To scare Nian away, torches were lit and firecrackers were set off, because Nian was known to fear the colour red. Thus the splashes of red paint. It seems likely from the pictures that Nian was actually a troll. Chou must have based his work on contemporary accounts.'

A waitress came to their table.

'Li ho bo,' said Artemis. 'Can we have a pot of Oolong tea. Organic, if you have it.'

The waitress blinked at Artemis, then looked up at Butler, who was still standing.

'You are Mister Fowl?' she asked, in excellent English.

'I am am Master Master Fowl,' said Artemis, tapping the table for attention. 'Do you have something for me?' Fowl,' said Artemis, tapping the table for attention. 'Do you have something for me?'

The waitress pa.s.sed him a napkin.

'From the gentleman along the bar,' she said.

Artemis glanced down the arc of the metal railing and buffer system which kept patrons away from the ma.s.s damper, and more importantly kept the ma.s.s damper away from them.

Billy Kong was seated a dozen tables down, waggling his eyebrows in their direction. He was not alone. No one else was eyebrow-waggling, but three men were at the table with him, and several others were dotted around the bar area. Minerva was on Kong's knee. He held her fast by the forearm. Her shoulders were tense but there was defiance in the set of her mouth.

'Well?' Artemis said to Butler.

'At least twelve,' replied the bodyguard. 'Billy must have friends in Taiwan.'

'None of them invisible, thank goodness,' said Artemis, opening the napkin.

Send the creature to the reserved table, read the message on the napkin. read the message on the napkin. I will send the girl. No tricksor people will get hurt. I will send the girl. No tricksor people will get hurt.

He pa.s.sed the napkin to Butler. 'What do you think?'

Butler gave the message a summary glance. 'I think he won't try anything here. Too many cameras. If the security doesn't get him on film, a tourist will. If Kong goes for a double-cross, it will be outside.'

'And by then, it should be too late.'

'So we hope.'

The waitress returned with a bamboo tray, bearing a clay pot of tea and three gla.s.ses. Artemis took his time pouring himself some of the steaming liquid.

'How are you feeling, Number One?'

'My leg hurts a bit.'

'The painkiller is wearing off. I'll ask Butler to give you another shot later. Are you ready to go? Everything will be fine, I a.s.sure you.'

'All I have to do is open my hand?'

'As soon as we're in the lift.'

'That's it? Do you want me to distract the bad man with some witty banter, like you do with Holly?'

'No. That won't be necessary. Just open your hand.'

'Should I look scared?'

'That would be appropriate.'

'Good. Shouldn't be a problem.'

Butler was functioning in full action mode. Generally, he reined himself in, walking with a slight stoop to avoid drawing attention. But now, he stood tall and tensed, ready to spring into action. His gaze was fierce, and muscles bulged in his neck. He caught Billy Kong's gaze and zeroed in on his eyeb.a.l.l.s. Even across a crowded room, the hostility was almost palpable. A couple of more psychically sensitive bystanders suddenly felt anxious and cast their eyes about for the nearest public toilet.

When he was finished staring down Billy Kong, Butler knelt to give final instructions to No1.

'All you have to do is walk down to that table with the reserved sign. Wait until Minerva gets there, then continue on to Kong. If they hustle you out straight away, count to twenty then open your hand. If they wait for us to leave, open your hand when the lift doors have closed. Understand?'

'I understand everything. In any language you care to speak in.'

'Are you set?'

No1 took a deep breath. He could feel his tail vibrating anxiously. He had been in a bit of a daze since the time tunnel. How could anyone take all of this in? Skysc.r.a.pers, for heaven's sake. Buildings that actually sc.r.a.ped the sky.

'I'm set,' he said.

'Off you go then. Good luck.'

No1 began his long, lonely walk back into captivity. Scores of humans thronged around him, excited, sweating, chewing things, pointing machines at each other.

Those would be cameras, I suppose.

The noon sun flashed through the ceiling-to-floor windows, catching on the silver of the ma.s.s damper, lighting it up like a dis...o...b..ll. The tabletops loomed just above head height. Waiters and waitresses bustled past with loaded trays. Gla.s.ses fell; children screamed.

Too many people, thought No1. I miss demons. Even Abbot. Well, OK, maybe not Abbot I miss demons. Even Abbot. Well, OK, maybe not Abbot.

No1 reached the reserved table. He had to stand on tippy-toes to see the folded piece of card with the word printed on it. He lifted the flap on his bonnet to get a clear look. He was beginning to realize that a muumuu and bonnet were not typical Mud Child garb, as Artemis had told him.

This is a terrible disguise. I look like a freak. Surely someone will see that I am not human. I wish I could s.h.i.+eld, like Holly.

Unfortunately, even if No1 could control his burgeoning magical powers, s.h.i.+elding had never been a weapon in the demon warlock a.r.s.enal.

No1 took a step to the right, squinting past the glare of the giant ma.s.s damper. Minerva was on her way down. Taking small careful steps towards the reserved table. Behind her, Kong leaned forward in his seat, toes tapping with excitement and antic.i.p.ation. He was like a dog on a leash with the scent of a fox in his nose.

Minerva arrived. She lifted the brim of No1's bonnet to check it was him.

'It's not my bonnet,' said No1. 'And this is certainly not my muumuu.'

Minerva took his hand. Before the abduction she had been eighty per cent genius and twenty per cent twelve-year-old girl. Now it was about fifty-fifty. 'I'm sorry for everything. For tying you up, and the rest. I thought you would try to eat me.'

'We're not all savages,' said No1. 'And my wrists did hurt for ages. But I forgive you, I suppose. As long as your tying-up days are over.'

'Yes. I promise.' Minerva looked over No1's head, towards Artemis's table. 'Why is he helping me? Do you know?'

No1 shrugged. 'I'm not sure. Holly, our friend, said it was something about p.u.b.erty. Apparently, you're pretty, though to be honest, I can't see it myself.'

Their conversation was interrupted by a whistle from further down the bar. Billy Kong was growing impatient. The ex-Paradizo employee beckoned No1 on with his index finger.

'I should go. Leave. Depart.'

Minerva nodded. 'OK. Be careful. I will see you soon. Where is it? In your hand?'

'Yes,' said No1 automatically. Then, 'How did you know?'

Minerva walked on slowly. 'Genius. Can't help it.'

This place is littered with genii, thought No1. I just hope Mister Kong isn't another one I just hope Mister Kong isn't another one.

He continued on his way, being careful to keep his feet and hands inside the muumuu. The last thing he wanted to do was cause a panic by exposing his grey stumpy digits. Although, perhaps the humans would bow down and adore him. After all, he was incredibly handsome compared to their own gangly males.

Billy Kong was all smiles when No1 reached the table. On his his face, a smile looked like the first symptom of a disease. His hair was spiked in perfect points. Even in the middle of a kidnapping, Kong still made time for hair. Good grooming says a lot about a person. face, a smile looked like the first symptom of a disease. His hair was spiked in perfect points. Even in the middle of a kidnapping, Kong still made time for hair. Good grooming says a lot about a person.

'Welcome back, demon,' he said, grabbing a hank of the muumuu. 'So nice to see you. If it is you...'

'If it is me?' said No1, confused. 'Me is all I can be.'

'Excuse me if I don't take your word for it,' snorted Kong, tugging back the bonnet's frill for a quick peek at No1's face. 'If that Fowl kid is half as smart as I've heard, then he's sure to be trying something.'

Kong examined the imp's face, poking the plate on his forehead, pulling back the lips to check the pink gums and square white teeth. Finally, he traced the rune on No1's forehead with a finger, to make sure it wasn't painted on.

'Satisfied?'

'Pretty much. I guess little Artemis didn't have time to do a switch. I ran him too hard.'

'You ran us all too hard,' complained No1. 'We had to fly here in a machine. I saw the moon close up.'

'You're breaking my heart, demon. After what you did to my brother, you're lucky to be alive. Something I hope to remedy in the next few minutes.'