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"Hi, Jill." This is followed by a stifled yawn that means he hardly needs to say "It's Gavin."
"Where are you? You sound odd."
More specifically, his voice sounds in danger of being engulfed by static. Indeed, she thinks it has been overcome until he says "I don't know. That's why I'm phoning."
"You don't know where you are? Oh, Gavin." She has often suspected that he uses drugs, and now she feels fiercely maternal. "What have you done to yourself?"
"Nothing. It's the fog." His voice fades, so that she isn't certain that he says "It's worse than fog."
She still thinks drugs could be involved. "Gavin, you must be able to tell where you're phoning from."
"My mobile."
His resentfulness gives way to a yawn that must be sucking fog into his lungs. "But how have you got wherever you are?" she persists.
"Took the bus and came down the usual road, but I've been walking a lot longer than I ever do. Must have wandered off along a side road and never realised. I don't wonder in this."
"Would you like someone to drive and see if they can find you?"
"Not a good idea, not in this c.r.a.p. Thanks, though. I'm turning back and I expect I'll find my way. I just don't know how late I'll be."
"Shall I tell Woody?"
"I wouldn't mind a word with him."
Jill has to remind herself which b.u.t.tons to press to put Gavin on hold and move onto the public address. "Woody call twelve, please. Woody--was The interruption leaps at her through the receiver. "Hey, I'm nearly as fast to the phone as you are, Jill. What's up?" 206 "Gavin's got lost somewhere and he doesn't know when he'll be here."
"We're surely finding out who can be relied on, aren't we. Didn't he dare to tell me himself?"
"He wants to. He's on the line."
"Okay, I'll take him."
Woody sounds capable of blaming Gavin not just for absence but for being the third absentee. Jill would come to his defence if she could think how, but before there's a word in her head the phone excludes her from the conversation. A clamour of books on shelves accompanies her back to hers. Practically everyone is shelving; the only other people in the shop are two resolutely bald men in armchairs, who are clutching picture books as if, like children, they're afraid their treasures will be s.n.a.t.c.hed away from them, though neither seems to be in a reading mood. As Jill returns to her task she feels like part of a machine the size of the shop, a machine devoted to producing thud upon thud so dull they might be pounding out of the books any intelligence they contain. She must be depressed to think that way; certainly her mind feels grey and stagnant. Perhaps that's another sign of whatever is refusing to let her stay either hot or cold and weighing down her arms even in the tiny intervals when they're free of books. All the same, she isn't so hampered that she can't run to Information when the phones burst into a chorus. "h.e.l.lo?" she gasps.
"It's me again."
"Oh, Gavin." She tries to conceal her frustration. "Do you want Woody?"
"Not this time. You'll do."
She would respond with amused resentment, or perhaps less than amused, if his voice didn't sound so distant, in danger of being engulfed by nothingness. "What for?"
"I've already tried to tell him. I just think someone ought to listen."
"I am, but where have you got to?" 207 "I still don't know. That's why I thought I'd better call while I can. The fog's not doing my battery any favours."
"Shouldn't you save it in case you need someone to find you?"
"I don't know what sort of person could find me in this." She thinks a swelling wave of static has carried off his voice until he says "What's that?"
Though she presumes he's asking himself, she blurts "What, Gavin?"
"I'm going to see. Listen, while I am I'll tell you--was He stifles a yawn, unless he sucks in a breath. "Hold on."
"That's what I am doing."
"I'm either nearly there or back at the bus shelter. There's a light, only it's odd."
"How odd?"
"It shouldn't be doing that. Anyway, when I got home this morning I started looking at--was "h.e.l.lo? Gavin? h.e.l.lo?"
Only static responds. When Jill presses the receiver against her ear she seems to catch the faintest trace of his voice, but it's no longer talking to her. That's all she gathers from its tone before it sinks deep into the static, which she could imagine is surging up in triumph. Then the phone is a dead lump of plastic, which she's lowering when Woody uses it to ask "Was that a customer?"
"It was Gavin again."
"No wonder you weren't smiling. What's his problem this time?"
"He's still trying to find his way." Woody's watchfulness is making her nervous, but she won't be daunted from remarking "He said he was talking to you about something he saw this morning."
"That would be how I tidied up the store while I was waiting for you guys to arrive."
"Are you certain that's it? I had the impression it was urgent." 208 "What are you suggesting it was, then?"
"I've no idea. I thought you might have."
"I just told you mine. Maybe you should trust me on this, huh? Don't let me keep you away from your shelves if there's nothing else you want to run past me."
Jill imagines him watching her face as she gives up the phone. She imagines that he's smiling down at her, though in fact he must be smiling upwards; either way, the thought stiffens her mouth. She feels as if he's hovering invisibly over her while she retires to her section. As she slams books into place she's repeatedly drawn to glance out of the window, but it's never Gavin that she has glimpsed. The furtive approaches and withdrawals must be of patches of fog, not of figures peering slyly out of it. She can only a.s.sume Gavin saw the bus shelter ahead or, if the light was moving, headlamps on the road he started from. When the phones renew their summons, however, she feels she has an extra motive to dash to the nearest. "Jill," she pants into the receiver. "Jill at Fenny Meadows."
"It's me, mummy."
Of course Jill is relieved. She tries not to be even slightly disappointed that it isn't Gavin to rea.s.sure her he's safe and to answer the question she's eager to revive. "Are you at your father's, Bryony?" she asks instead.
"We just are now. We had a lovely dinner."
"I'm glad. What did you have?"
"Burgers. I had a giant one and daddy had to help me finish it."
"I hope it won't keep you awake. You ought to be in bed with school tomorrow."
"I'm going in a moment. I only wanted to say good night like you said. I'm sure I'll sleep."
"That's what I wanted to hear."
Jill smiles, and then her expression falls awry as she wonders if Woody is a.s.suming he's responsible for it. "Are there lots of people there?" Bryony says.
"Just about everyone that should be." 209 "Daddy said there were. You'll be safe then with everyone together."
It's barely a query, if even that. Perhaps Jill feels it should be one because she doesn't want her ex-husband speaking for her. "I'm sure we all will," she says. "You have the best sleep ever and I will tomorrow."
"Good night, only it won't be for you, will it?"
"Because it'll be good morning, you mean. So long as it's that, and it will be, and you can wake me when you come home from school."
"I will very gently."
"I know."
They seem to have run out of reasons to continue talking. All at once Jill is wary of being asked if she wants to speak to Bryony's father, which she doesn't. "Good night then. Good night," she says, and cuts herself off before any further repet.i.tion makes her feel stupid. At once the phone demands "Was that our stray again?"
"It was my daughter checking up on me."
"She's through for the night, is she?"
"I believe so. She's off to bed."
"So long as she stays there. So long as everyone leaves us alone that hasn't any business here tonight."
Jill has no answer to that. She stifles the receiver with its stand and follows the habitual route back to her shelves. The books are waiting; her arms already feel burdened. At least she knows Bryony is safe. Surely that ought to lighten her mind--and yet for a moment, until she succeeds in dismissing the unwelcome notion, she fancies that Bryony has robbed her of her last excuse to escape. 210
WOODY.
Who is he not seeing in his aquarium? That 'so how the staff 'so how the staff look: like creatures behind gla.s.s and swimming through a greyish medium that the images on the monitor sometimes make adhere to them in streaks. Jake is the creature that gives a wriggle now and then, Greg is the deliberate one that moves only for a purpose. From up here Woody's able to observe the patterns they describe, Greg staying well clear of Jake while Angus avoids Agnes as though the similarities of their names are driving them apart, not that Woody can pretend he blames him. Ross is the creature that seems to need Woody to prod it into life; it's moving slower than the others and holding its head low. That may be partly to avoid any eye contact across the shop with Mad, who retreats limpet-like into her nearest alcove whenever he wades close. On the other hand, Jill raises herself as though she's capable of striking out to defend her territory if Connie floats anywhere near her. The staff are most themselves when they've forgotten that they're being watched; Woody wishes someone had thought to mount security cameras in the outer office and the other 211 upstairs areas. He hears Ray or Nigel at a computer out of sight beyond the open door, and a m.u.f.fled clank of books on a rack in the stockroom. In a moment, however, Ray appears out of the exit from the stairs to the staffroom and drifts about to encourage everyone who's shelving, ducking to dredge up lump after grey rectangular lump as if they're immersed in a ritual. Whoever is left can't be in both the office and the stockroom, and when Woody looks out of his door he finds all the computer screens blank as the walls, if greyer. The office is deserted. He's about to locate Nigel in the stockroom to confirm he has just shut down his computer when Jill puts on a big voice. "Woody call twelve, please. Woody call twelve."
Woody sprints back to his desk so as to observe her while they speak. She's behind the counter yet again and gazing not quite up at him as though she wonders where his eyes are. "You're fond of the phone today, Jill," he remarks.
"I thought it would be quicker than coming to find you."
"I'm easily found. You can't lose me. I'm always here." Instead of telling her any of this he says "So what's taken you away from your shelves this time?"
"I was wondering if we have Gavin's mobile number."
"Why do you need it?"
"In case we can find out where he is now. His phone cut him off, but he may be able to take calls even if he can't make them."
"We already have a job tonight, and that isn't searching for him."
"I'd like to know he's safe, wouldn't you?"
"I like to know where all my staff are, sure enough." Mouthing this feels like the smile he sends her as he says aloud "Okay, leave it to me."
She takes her time and, more to the point, the store's. Once she lets go of the phone she surveys the ceiling as if she doesn't think she has said enough. As she returns to her section by no means as eagerly as he would like, he's close to calling down that she should find a smile, but 212 there are no customers except two seated men whose grey pates look smooth as weathered rocks. Suppose the public is absent tomorrow as well? Then at least everything will be tidy for the visit. Perhaps he should be glad if Gavin isn't there to undermine the image of the store, not just with his constant doziness but the nonsense he at least hasn't pa.s.sed on to Jill. If the same material has been recorded over more than one ca.s.sette, that has to mean the same customer faked the fault twice and perhaps used someone else to return the second tape, unless the customer return slips were mixed up. If Gavin intends to keep on making more of it, perhaps Woody ought to find out where he is. He switches on the computer.
The desktop seems to be in no hurry to appear. Too many seconds elapse before the blank screen breaks out in rudimentary symbols that twitch and darken. A s.h.i.+ver pa.s.ses through the surface under the gla.s.s as though it's wakening or about to waken, and Woody thinks he glimpses a similar disturbance on the security monitor; he almost thinks that the floor s.h.i.+fts underfoot too. If he's tired it's no wonder, though he'll never let his staff see it He did manage to drowse intermittently in his office last night, and that's all he will need until tomorrow is over. He wouldn't be asking the team to stay up all night if he hadn't proved he could do it himself. He shuts his eyes for surely only a few moments, and when he looks again the screen is swarming with icons waiting to be called up.
He opens the staff list and blinks stickily at it. Aren't there too many names? The idea makes his eyes and brain feel hot and swollen until he notices that Ray has added Frank to the column and left Lorraine on it, where he supposes she'll have to remain for her parents to be paid her last salary cheque. Once Woody has convinced himself that there are no other lurking names he clicks on Gavin's to bring up his details. The store has both his mobile and his home number. 213 The mobile doesn't ring. Presumably it's out of power, unless Gavin has switched it off. Suppose he wasn't telling the truth and is actually catching up on his sleep at home? Woody lets that phone ring until he loses count of its repet.i.tions, but there's no answer, not even from a machine. On the whole he hopes Gavin is on his way home: they can do without his infecting any of his colleagues with his yawns while everyone is bound to be susceptible to them or with his irrelevant preoccupations. If this means the rest of the team has to work harder, shouldn't that bring them closer together? They have all night to make up for his absence. Extra work is a small price to pay for an improved workforce without him or Lorraine or Wilf.
Woody is relinquis.h.i.+ng the phone when he hears movement in the outer office. A glance at the grey figures ducking like animals to food tells him who it has to be. "Nigel," he calls.
"I'm here. I'm not there," Nigel's head says around the door as though it's making a joke of itself.
Woody's skin is growing clammy with the notion that Nigel has joined Gavin in causing confusion when he realises Nigel thinks the phone was being used to summon him. Woody waves it at him before hanging it up. "I've just spoken to Gavin," he tells Nigel. "Not trying any too hard to join us by the sound of it. Could be he'd rather stay home watching tapes."
"Why that in particular?"
"He tells me you gave him a couple of tapes to play with. I guess you forgot they're the property of the store."
"They were brought back faulty. You don't want anyone to take a look at them, then."
"I can do that at the video store if I think it's necessary. Why the expression? Don't you trust me?"
"I'm sure everybody has to. Why would you ask that? It's just you shouldn't load so much on yourself, if you'll allow me to say so." When Woody continues smiling 214 Nigel withdraws, and Woody thinks he has backed off until Nigel enquires "Isn't that right, Ray? Don't you think Woody's attempting too much by himself?"
"I must say you're looking a bit stretched, Woody," Ray says, having appeared beside Nigel. "Do remember you've got us and Connie if you want to unload anything."
"There's plenty to unload," Woody says, feeling his smile widen. "Looks like there may be Gavin's stock as well as Lorraine's and Wilf's."
"We were thinking more of pressures of management," says Nigel.
"Were you? I was thinking of what's best for the store, and that's getting every book and video and compact disc downstairs and in order. Or do you expect me to do your share of that? I thought you just told me I'm doing enough as it is."
Ray and Nigel exchange glances that seem not to want Woody to notice them and that remind him of schoolboys obliged to stand outside the princ.i.p.al's office. "We can do it, can't we?" Nigel says to Ray. "Call it a match if you like. I'll shelve for the Scouse team if you will for the Manks."
Ray stares at him and makes his breath heard. "I never took you for the sporting type."
"That's a shade harsh, isn't it, Ray? We had cricket at my school, and I didn't let the side down."
"We're footballers, us lot from Manchester. We got a bit rougher and dirtier."
"Pardon me if I shouldn't have used the term I did. Mancunians, is that more the style?"
"You can use all the words you like, love. The main thing is now we know what you think."
Woody has no idea where any of this is coming from. "If you can't get rid of your differences maybe you can keep them out of the workplace."
At first they seem ready to prolong their disagreement, 215 and then Nigel spins on his heel. Ray follows him and so, having shut down the computer, does Woody. Ray and Nigel are loading trolleys amid a thunder of books on wood. He finds a trolley by the elevator and fills it with armfuls of Gavin's books, then sends it down and has the exit to the sales floor open by the time the elevator arrives. As he parks in Wild Life, Jill strays over to ask "Did you manage to raise Gavin?"
"I tried both his numbers. n.o.body at home and nothing at the other."
Woody has begun to sort the trolleyful as an indication that she should return to work when Agnes adds herself to the interrogation. "What's happened to Gavin?" she apparently thinks she's ent.i.tled to know.