A Woman-Hater - BestLightNovel.com
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"For G.o.d's sake, don't talk so. I am sure you exaggerate. You cannot, in those few days, have pledged your faith to another. Let me see your finger. Ah! there's my ring on it still: bless you, my own darling Zoe--bless you;" and he covered her hand with kisses, and bedewed it with his ever-ready tears.
The girl began to melt, and all power to ooze out of her, mind and body.
She sighed deeply and said, "What can I do--I don't say with honor and credit, but with decency. What _can_ I do?"
"Tell me, first, what you have said to him that you consider so compromising."
Zoe, with many sighs, replied: "I believe--I said--I was unhappy. And so I was. And I owned--that I admired--and esteemed him. And so I do. And then of course he wanted more, and I could not give more; and he asked might he try and make me love him; and--I said--I am afraid I said--he might, if he could."
"And a very proper answer, too."
"Ah! but I said he might come every day. It is idle to deceive ourselves: I have encouraged his addresses. I can do nothing now with credit but die, or go into a convent."
"When did you say this?"
"This very day."
"Then he has never acted on it."
"No, but he will. He will be here tomorrow for certain."
"Then your course is plain. You must choose to-night between him and me.
You must dismiss him by letter, or me upon this spot. I have not much fortune to offer you, and no coronet; but I love you, and you have seen me reject a lovely and accomplished woman, whom I esteem as much as you do this lord. Reject him? Why, you have seen me fling her away from me like a dog sooner than leave you in a moment's doubt of my love: if you cannot write a civil note declining an earl for me, your love in not worthy of mine, and I will begone with my love. I will not take it to Mademoiselle Klosking, though I esteem her as you do this lord; but, at all events, I will take it away from you, and leave you my curse instead, for a false, fickle girl that could not wait one little month, but must fall, with her engaged ring on her finger, into another man's arms. Oh, Zoe! Zoe! who could have believed this of you?"
"Don't reproach _me._ I won't bear it," she cried, wildly.
"I hope not to have to reproach you," said he, firmly; "I cannot conceive your hesitating."
"I am worn out. Love has been too great a torment. Oh, if I could find peace!"
Again her tears flowed.
He put on a sympathizing air. "You shall have peace. Dismiss _him_ as I tell you, and he will trouble you no more; shake hands with me, and say you prefer _him,_ and I will trouble you no more. But with two lovers, peace is out of the question, and so is self-respect. I know I could not vacillate between you and Mademoiselle Klosking or any other woman."
"Ah, Edward, if I do this, you ought to love me very dearly."
"I shall. Better than ever--if possible."
"And never make me jealous again."
"I never shall, dearest. Our troubles are over."
"Edward, I have been very unhappy. I could not bear these doubts again."
"You shall never be unhappy again."
"I must do what you require, I suppose. That is how it always ends. Oh dear! oh dear!"
"Zoe, it must be done. You know it must."
"I warn you I shall do it as kindly as I can."
"Of course you will. You ought to."
"I must go in now. I feel very cold."
"How soon to-morrow will you meet me here?"
"When you please," said she, languidly.
"At ten o'clock?"
"Yes."
Then there was a tender parting, and Zoe went slowly in. She went to her own room, just to think it all over alone. She caught sight of her face in the gla.s.s. Her cheeks had regained color, and her eyes were bright as stars. She stopped and looked at herself. "There now," said she, "and I seem to myself to live again. I was mad to think I could ever love any man but him. He is my darling, my idol."
There was no late dinner at Somerville Villa. Indeed, ladies, left to themselves, seldom dine late. Nature is strong in them, and they are hungriest when the sun is high. At seven o'clock Zoe Vizard was seated at her desk trying to write to Lord Uxmoor. She sighed, she moaned, she began, and dropped the pen and hid her face. She became almost wild; and in that state she at last dashed off what follows:
"DEAR LORD UXMOOR--For pity's sake, forgive the mad words I said to you today. It is impossible. I can do no more than admire and esteem you. My heart is gone from me forever. Pray forgive me, though I do not deserve it; and never see me nor look at me again. I ask pardon for my vacillation. It has been disgraceful; but it has ended, and I was under a great error, which I cannot explain to you, when I led you to believe I had a heart to give you. My eyes are opened. Our paths lie asunder. Pray, pray forgive me, if it is possible. I will never forgive myself, nor cease to bless and revere you, whom I have used so ill.
"ZOE VIZARD."
That day Uxmoor dined alone with his mother, for a wonder, and he told her how Miss Vizard had come round; he told her also about the bull, but so vilely that she hardly comprehended he had been in any danger: these encounters are rarely described to the life, except by us who avoid them--except on paper.
Lady Uxmoor was much pleased. She was a proud, politic lady, and this was a judicious union of two powerful houses in the county, and one that would almost command the elections. But, above all, she knew her son's heart was in the match, and she gave him a mother's sympathy.
As she retired, she kissed him and said, "When you are quite sure of the prize, tell me, and I will call upon her."
Being alone, Lord Uxmoor lighted a cigar and smoked it in measureless content. The servant brought him a note on a salver. It had come by hand.
Uxmoor opened it and read every word straight through, down to "Zoe Vizard;" read it, and sat petrified.
He read it again. He felt a sort of sickness come over him. He swallowed a tumbler of port, a wine he rarely touched; but he felt worse now than after the bullfight. This done, he rose and stalked like a wounded lion into the drawing-room, which was on the same floor, and laid the letter before his mother.
"You are a woman too," said he, a little helplessly. "Tell me--what on earth does this mean?"
The dowager read it slowly and keenly, and said, "It means--another man."
"Ah!" said Uxmoor, with a sort of snarl.
"Have you seen any one about her?"
"No; not lately. At Vizard Court there was. But that is all over now, I conclude. It was a Mr. Severne, an adventurer, a fellow that was caught out in a lie before us all. Vizard tells me a lady came and claimed him before Miss Vizard, and he ran away."
"An unworthy attachment, in short?"
"Very unworthy, if it was an attachment at all."