Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 187

MADDEN [_still looking down and trying to control his feelings_]. The head bookkeeper kept me, checkin' up the mill pay roll. I been here [_consulting his watch_] just seven minutes.

MRS. MADDEN [_yawning_]. Thanks. Yer s' darn acc'rate, Jim. I didn'

really wanta know.

[_He looks at another bill and writes down the amount on the same piece of paper as before, keeping his head averted so that she may not see his face._]

MRS. MADDEN. Jim. [_With lazy self-satisfaction._] Look up an' glimpse yer wifey in 'r new boots. [_She draws up her skirts sufficiently to show the boots._]

[_He looks up unwillingly and makes a movement of exasperation._]

MADDEN. Oh, Florrie!

MRS. MADDEN. W'at's a matter? Don'choo like 'em?

MADDEN. You didn't need another pair, Florrie.

MRS. MADDEN [_on the defensive_]. Y' wouldn' have me look worse 'n one o' these furriners, would y'? There's Mrs. Montanio nex' door; she's jus' got a pair o' mahogany ones an' a pair o' lemon colored ones. An'

_her_ husban's on'y a "slasher."

MADDEN. Slashers get a big sight more pay than under bookkeepers these days, Florrie.

MRS. MADDEN [_persuasively_]. Got 'em at a bargain, anyways. Jus' think, Jim. On'y twelve, an' they _was_ sixteen. [_Madden groans audibly. She changes the subject hastily._] W'at's a news down town?

MADDEN [_seriously_]. Florrie-- [_He hesitates and then seems to change his mind. He relaxes and speaks wearily, trying to affect an off-hand manner._] Nothin' much. [_Struck by an unpleasant recollection._] Comin'

home by Market Wharf I saw 'em pull a woman out o' the river.

MRS. MADDEN [_interested_]. Y' don' say, Jim. Was she dead?

MADDEN [_nervously_]. I ... I don't know. I didn't stop. [_He pa.s.ses his hand across his face with a sudden gesture of horror._] You know, Florrie, I hate things like that!

MRS. MADDEN. Well--y' poor b.o.o.b! Not t' find out if she was dead!

[_She gives an impatient shrug of the shoulders and pa.s.ses behind him, going over to the back window and looking out aimlessly.

Madden picks up another bill, regarding it malevolently. After a moment she turns carelessly toward him._]

MRS. MADDEN. Jim. [_He does not look up._] Say, Jim. I'm awful tired o'

cookin'. There ain't a thing t' eat in th' house. Le's go down t'

Horseman's f'r a lobster supper t'night, an' then take in a real show.

Mrs. Montanio's tol' me--

MADDEN [_interrupting very gravely_]. Florrie. [_He rises to his feet._]

MRS. MADDEN [_continuing without a pause_]. There's an awful comical show down t' th' Hyperion. Regal'r scream, they say. Mrs. Montanio--

MADDEN [_breaking in_]. Florrie, there's somethin' I got to say to you.

MRS. MADDEN [_a little sulky_]. I got lots I'd like t' say t' _you_.

On'y I ain't sayin' it.

MADDEN [_more quietly_]. I wasn't goin' to say it now ... not 'till I finished goin' through these. [_He makes a gesture toward the bills._]

But when I saw your new shoes, an' specially when you spoke o' goin' out to-night....

MRS. MADDEN. Well, why shouldn' I? I got t' have _some_ fun.

MADDEN [_keeping his self-control_]. Look here, Florrie. D'you know what I was doin' when you came in?

MRS. MADDEN. I didn't notice. Figgerin' somethin', I s'pose. Y' always are.

MADDEN. This mornin' at the office I got called to the phone. The Excelsior Shoe Comp'ny said you cashed a check there yesterday for fifteen dollars. Said you bought a pair o' shoes ... those, I suppose [_He looks at her feet. She turns away sulkily._] ... an' had some money left over. Check came back to 'em this mornin' from the bank.--"No funds."

MRS. MADDEN [_with righteous but lazy indignation_]. How'd I know there wasn't no money in th' bank?

MADDEN. If you kept your check book up to date you'd know.

MRS. MADDEN. W'at right they got not t' cash my check?

MADDEN [_still controlling himself_]. The bank don't let you overdraw any more. [_He glances back at the bills._] D'you know, I'm wonderin'

why you didn't charge those boots.

MRS. MADDEN. I ain't got any account at th' Excelsior.

MADDEN. I guess it's the only place in town you haven't got one.--You don't seem to remember what salary I get.

MRS. MADDEN. Sure--I know. Ninety-five a month. Y' know mighty well I'm ashamed o' you f'r not gettin' more. Mrs. Montanio's husban'--

MADDEN [_breaking in_]. Hang the Montanios! [_More quietly._] Don't you see what I'm gettin' at? Here it is the twelfth o' December; you know my pay don't come in till the end o' the month; an' here you go an' draw all our money out o' the bank ... an' more. [_Turning toward the table._] An' _look_ at these bills!

MRS. MADDEN. James Madden, I like t' know w'at right you got t' talk t'

me like that.

MADDEN [_thoughtfully_]. I've always argued it's the woman's job to run the house. [_He walks around the table from front to rear, pa.s.sing to its left, and looking down at the bills. With conviction._] It's no use!--I don't just see how we're goin' to get out of this mess; but I do know one thing. [_Advancing toward her from the rear of the table._]

After this _I'm_ goin' to spend our money, even if I have to buy your dresses.

MRS. MADDEN [_with rising anger_]. If you say I've been extrav'gant, James Madden, yer a plain liar!

MADDEN [_biting his lip and stepping back a pace_]. Easy, Florrie!--I know you don't mean that, or--

MRS. MADDEN [_interrupting viciously_]. I do!

MADDEN [_persuasively_]. Look here, Florrie. We got to work this out together. There's no use gettin' mad. Prob'ly you aren't extravagant--really. Just considerin' the size o' my salary.

MRS. MADDEN. A pig couldn' live decent on _your_ salary!

MADDEN. Other folks seem to get on, even in these times. What would you do if we had kids?

MRS. MADDEN. Thank the Lord we ain't got _them_ t' think about.

MADDEN [_shocked_]. Florence!