Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 27

MADAME BAIL. You needn't worry! Catch me marrying again!

LAMBLIN [_timidly_]. There is a great deal to be said for the happiness of married life.

MADAME BAIL. For the men!

LAMBLIN. For every one. Is not the hearth a refuge, a sacred spot, where both man and woman find sweet rest after a day's work? Deny it, Mother.

Here we are, the three of us, each doing what he likes to do, in our comfortable little home, talking together happily. The mind is at rest, and the heart quiet. Six years of family life have brought us security in our affection, and rendered us kind and indulgent toward one another.

It is ineffably sweet, and brings tears to the eyes. [_He starts to take a sip of cognac._]

MARTHE [_preventing him_]. Especially when one is a little--lit up!

MADAME BAIL. Marthe, that's not at all nice of you!

LAMBLIN [_to Madame Bail_]. Ah, you're the only one who understands me, Mother! Now, little one, you're going to give me a cigar, one of those on the table.

MARTHE [_giving him a cigar_]. Lazy! He can't even stretch his arm out!

LAMBLIN. You see, I prefer to have my little wife serve me and be nice to me.

MADAME BAIL [_looking at them both_]. Shall I go?

LAMBLIN. Why should you?

MADAME BAIL. Well--because--

LAMBLIN [_understanding_]. Oh! No, no, stay with us and tell us stories.

The little one is moody and severe, I don't dare risk putting my arm around her. Her religion forbids her--expanding!

MADAME BAIL. Then you don't think I'll be in the way?

LAMBLIN. You, Mother! I tell you, the day I took it into my head to bring you here to live with us, I was an extremely clever man. It's most convenient to have you here. Men of business like me haven't the time to spend all their leisure moments with their wives. Very often, after a day's work at the office, I'm not at liberty to spend the evening at home: I must return to the office, you know.

MARTHE. As you did yesterday!

LAMBLIN. As I did yesterday. And when I take it into my head to stroll along the boulevard--

MADAME BAIL. Or elsewhere!

LAMBLIN. You insist on your little joke, Mother. If, I say, I take it into my head to go out, there's the little one all alone. You came here to live with us, and now my conscious is easy: I leave my little wife in good hands. I need not worry. There were a thousand liberties I never indulged in before you came. Now I take them without the slightest scruple.

MADAME BAIL. How kind of you!

LAMBLIN. Don't you think so, little one?

MARTHE. I believe that Mamma did exactly the right thing.

LAMBLIN. You see, I want people to be happy. It is not enough that I should be: every one must be who is about me. I can't abide selfish people.

MADAME BAIL. You're right!

LAMBLIN. And it's so easy not to be! [_A pause._] There is only one thing worrying me now: I brought a whole package of papers with me from the office, which I must sign.

MARTHE. How is business now?

LAMBLIN. Not very good.

MARTHE. Did M. Pacot reimburse you?

MADAME BAIL. Yes, did he?

LAMBLIN. It's been pretty hard these past three days, but I am reimbursed, and that's all I ask. Now I'm going to sign my papers. It won't take me more than a quarter of an hour. I'll find you here when I come back, shan't I? [_To Marthe._] And the little one will leave me my cognac, eh? See you soon.

MADAME BAIL. Yes, see you soon.

LAMBLIN [_to Marthe_]. You'll let me have my cognac?

MARTHE. No! It's ridiculous! It'll make you ill. [_Lamblin goes out._]

MADAME BAIL. There's a good boy!

MARTHE. You always stand up for him. The world is full of "good boys" of his sort. "Good boys"! They're all selfis.h.!.+

MADAME BAIL. Don't get so excited!

MARTHE. I'm not in the least excited. I'm as calm now as I was excited a year ago when I learned of Alfred's affair.

MADAME BAIL. I understand.

MARTHE. No, you don't understand.

MADAME BAIL. You didn't behave at all reasonably, as you ought to have done long since. You still have absurd romantic ideas. You're not at all reasonable.

MARTHE [_very much put out_]. Well, if I still have those absurd ideas, if I rebel at times, if, as you say, I'm unreasonable, whom does it harm but me alone? What do you expect? The bare idea of sharing him is repulsive to me. Think of it a moment--how perfectly abominable it all is! Why, we are practically accomplices! I thought we were going to discuss it with him just now! It will happen, I know!

MADAME BAIL. What do you intend to do about it? You keep on saying the same thing. I'm an experienced woman. Why don't you take my word, and be a philosopher, the way all women are, the way I've had to be more than once? If you think for one moment that your own father--! Well, we won't say anything about him.

MARTHE. Philosopher, philosopher! A nice way to put it! In what way is that Mathilde Coge, who is his mistress, better than I? I'd like to know that!

MADAME BAIL. In any event, he might have done much worse. She is a widow, a woman of the world, and she isn't ruining him. I know her slightly; I've seen her at Madame Parent's. She just seems a little mad, and not in the least spiteful!

MARTHE [_raging_]. Ah!

MADAME BAIL. But what are you going to do about it?

MARTHE. It would be best to separate.

MADAME BAIL. Why didn't you think of that sooner? You know very well you'd be sorry the moment you'd done it.

MARTHE. Don't you think that would be best for us all? What am I doing here? What hopes have I for the future? Merely to complete the happiness of Monsieur, who deigns to see in me an agreeable nurse, who occasionally likes to rest by my side after his escapades elsewhere!